Paternity Leave - How Much To Take?

[Squarehard]

As much as you can, and your wife needs.

 

[Chareth Cutestory]

My husband and I are on leave right now as we had our second a few weeks ago. Take all the time you possibly can. All of it.
I know from personal experience you never know if your baby will be in the hospital longer than expected or if your wife will need a c-section or have a hard time recovering. If she is breastfeeding or pumping it's like a full time job. As a mom I can tell you for sure your wife will need help and you will never get this time back again in the future. Enjoy your baby. :)

 

[skeptem]

Current employer offers 6 weeks at 70% pay. Any other year, I would take the whole thing, but my wife is home due to COVID and the baby so I will be taking a week paternity and worked out an arrangement with my manager. Basically answer emergency emails for the following 3 weeks and don't do any other work.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

you probably already know this, but its unpaid too. You have to use PTO on top of it to get paid or if your company is extra nice they'll give you some money during FMLA.

Click to shrink...

Wait I'm in the process of filling out paternity leave paperwork...I'm most likely going to be primary caregiver and I can get up to 10 weeks off, 100% paid. Looks like FMLA from what I keep hearing. Does that mean I don't get paid at all from company's pocket? I only get paid from my PTO only? Which i only have like 80 hours.

 

[captive]

Wait I'm in the process of filling out paternity leave paperwork...I'm most likely going to be primary caregiver and I can get up to 10 weeks off, 100% paid. Looks like FMLA from what I keep hearing. Does that mean I don't get paid at all from company's pocket? I only get paid from my PTO only? Which i only have like 80 hours.

Click to shrink...

You need to talk to your HR department. All FMLA guarantees you is that you have a job when you come back.

However, some companies offer extra perks like paid FMLA. During our first kid my wife was like I keep getting paid, and she called and found out manager level people at her hospital got paid FMLA.

 

[WedgeX]

I was lucky (being in the US without any leave) to have 6 weeks from my employer. I took all of it, regret nothing, and wish I had longer. My boss definitely was not a fan and did not make my life easy for a while after I returned.

 

[onadesertedisland]

Take every single minute you get. And take the vacation time after if available. You only get this opportunity once with your child.

 

[platypotamus]

I took the maximum I was able to take, both times, and it wasn't enough

 

[Septimus Prime]

Wait I'm in the process of filling out paternity leave paperwork...I'm most likely going to be primary caregiver and I can get up to 10 weeks off, 100% paid. Looks like FMLA from what I keep hearing. Does that mean I don't get paid at all from company's pocket? I only get paid from my PTO only? Which i only have like 80 hours.

Click to shrink...

There are a lot of factors to consider, including your state and employer. California, for example, pays something like two-thirds of your salary for six weeks, which some employers will add more to.

For me, I was able to get 10 weeks fully paid, as my employer tops off the state benefit and then pays in full a few more weeks, and then another two weeks unpaid, which I didn't end up taking.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Yeah My bad brain fart. I'm in Florida. FMLA is just you don't lose your job. I should be good with 10 weeks.

 

[ajszenk]

Take every damn second you can afford to take. I have an 18 month old and the 8 weeks I was able to take off were the best of life, my only regret is I didn't get more.

You'll always be able to catch up on work. You can't make this time up.

 

[Lexad]

My wife and I are expecting our first baby at the end of November. Through my employer, I get up to 12 weeks of FMLA, which I could use for "paternity leave". My current job is constantly busy, as I work for a large health system in the US and I lead a team in providing data and analytics for the system, specifically for our employed physicians. I'm awaiting an official managerial title that is in the approval process, so that my lead role will be more formalized officially as the team's "manager". All this to say, it's always busy and I am receiving more responsibilities, and I fear being away from the workplace for too long. I'm not worried about the pay, because I can use PTO to get paid during this time and I'll have about 6 weeks of PTO saved up by this point. My parents also live with us and they're both retired and can help with the baby as well, so I do have that support. But this is our first baby, and I do want to be there and help raise him.

So my question is, what would be an appropriate amount of FMLA to take? How much paternity leave have you all taken when you've had a new baby? I don't need the full 12 weeks. But is 4 weeks reasonable, or more/less? I feel like there's a stigma sometimes in "paternity leave" so I'm just struggling with how much time off is generally considered acceptable?

EDIT: I should also add that I can stagger the 12 weeks, it doesn't have to be continuous. So I've also thought about taking a few weeks up front and then maybe a couple days a week for a while after that.

EDIT2: Also, I am working from home now because of COVID and they've announced this is pretty much a long term thing as they're send us computers to use at home. So wanted to mention that in case that's a factor.

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A coworker staggered the paternity leave over the course of a year. I cat speak to what impacts to his career but we went through massive layoffs (including myself) and he wasn't one of them

 

[Bushido]

I'd take 4 weeks immediately to get to know the little one, support your wife and get into the groove, but take the rest some time later, if possible. The first couple of months your baby will (hopefully) mostly be sleeping, drinking and shitting, so as a father you could feel a bit useless at times. After 6 months there will be a lot more going on and you can actually do stuff with the kid, playing, help him/her explore the world or just keep him/her busy while your wife takes a nap.
I "only" could take 8 weeks off, so I stayed at home the first month and another one right after the first birthday (both times, two kids here), that worked perfectly for us and we really enjoyed it. If I had 12 weeks, I would have taken the additional 4 weeks around 6 months old.

 

[DarkWish]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts! I took those points and discussed it further with my wife. We're leaning towards me taking 6-8 weeks initially. And then the other 4-6 weeks around when my wife has to go back to work. That way I use up the full 12 weeks, I have enough time with the baby initially, and I can support my wife and help with her transition back which will surely be stressful. As for work, it eases me a bit that the initial 6-8 weeks would end up being mostly during holidays and into the new year. So that seems to be the best of all worlds.

 

[Muu]

Another thing to consider, do you qualify for any of the covid childcare leave? That leave is all under the same FMLA bucket, meaning if you take paternity leave you aren't entitled to the covid leave. I had my 2nd daughter in feb, took 5 weeks, and since the rona hit and we had no childcare available I took covid extended leave to homeschool my eldest so she won't be bored over the summer. I qualified but They only let me take 7 weeks since the time off is capped at 12wk due to FMLA. Something to think about before you burn through unpaid leave.

 

[mute]

I took as much as I could as long as it was paid.