ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping

Nephtes · Mar 4, 2019

Okay ParentEra, I have a question about world travel with a 1 year old.

My first kid is due at the end of May, but prior to the pregnancy, my wife and I planned on going to Japan for the 2020 Olympics in July/August of next year, which if everything goes according to plan will have us with a 1 year old.

Thing is, this is the Olympics, and hotels will start opening up for reservations soon so we're about to be in the planning phase for this trip and we need to decide if we're bringing a one year old to a foreign country we've never been to before or not.

My wife and I are experienced world travelers, but we've obviously never gone anywhere with a young child in tow. It would seem to me our usual ability to pack light will not be an option if we're lunging around a stroller, travel crib, car seat and all the other accessories that come with a small child. Not to mention, purchasing 3 tickets to every event including the opening ceremonies.

So, has anyone traveled to Japan with a one year old? Worth it, or should we leave the kid with it's grandparents for 10 days while we explore Kyoto and Tokyo?

I guess my main concern is the amount of stuff we'd have to bring. Specifically the car seat. I imagine the train ride from Kyoto to Tokyo would necessitate buying a train ticket for the car seat ... Which we'd only need in taxi's to and from the airport. Also, do you bring 10 days worth of supplies (diapers, food, wipes, etc) or do you buy them in country?

Any help on the topic would be appreciated.

Septimus Prime · Mar 4, 2019

Nephtes said:
So, has anyone traveled to Japan with a one year old? Worth it, or should we leave the kid with it's grandparents for 10 days while we explore Kyoto and Tokyo?

I have, actually. One year old to Japan, even! It's definitely doable, but I think if you have the option to leave him with the grandparents, do that because getting him to stay still during the event will be a challenge.

GiJose · Mar 4, 2019

You may be able to rent some baby gear at your destination

Nephtes · Mar 4, 2019

GiJose said:
You may be able to rent some baby gear at your destination

Is that a thing? I didn't realize you could do that.

I guess it makes sense. Are American car seats even compatible with safety standards in Japan?

lt519 · Mar 7, 2019

Anyone have experience doing Nanny payroll taxes themselves? Was looking at services but they want what amounts to $700 a year and I'm pretty sure I can do it myself.

Rocketz said:
Anyone tried Target diapers? We use Pampers Swaddlers and they're great but the Target one's are noticeably cheaper.

This is late, but for what it's worth we've been using Earth+Eden from Amazon which is in line price wise with Target and they work great + have all that eco friendly stuff that comes with it. Unfortunately I'm too late but with Subscribe and Save in the month of February you could get grandfathered in to 20% off and change sizes as they grow. $0.14 a diaper for size 1 and the big reason we went with Amazon over Target is Amazon has the pee indicator which is big for us since our boy freaks out at the littlest hint of wetness.

Septimus Prime · Mar 7, 2019

Target has the indicator now. I think Huggies also added it to see of their lines that didn't have it before.

Rocketz · Mar 7, 2019

lt519 said:
Anyone have experience doing Nanny payroll taxes themselves? Was looking at services but they want what amounts to $700 a year and I'm pretty sure I can do it myself.

This is late, but for what it's worth we've been using Earth+Eden from Amazon which is in line price wise with Target and they work great + have all that eco friendly stuff that comes with it. Unfortunately I'm too late but with Subscribe and Save in the month of February you could get grandfathered in to 20% off and change sizes as they grow. $0.14 a diaper for size 1 and the big reason we went with Amazon over Target is Amazon has the pee indicator which is big for us since our boy freaks out at the littlest hint of wetness.

It's never too late for diaper recommendations. I'll keep them in mind.

We tried the Target one's and Costco so far. Both seem fine but I think were running out of room in size 2 and may be on the way to size 3.

Deleted member 8860 · Mar 7, 2019

FWIW, we found Luvs to be the best trade off between cost and performance. The Target and Costco in-house brands exhibited more leaks and blow-outs. The higher end Pampers worked the best overall, but were pricey. Huggies were fine. All the natural/organic brands we tried were of poor quality.

Septimus Prime · Mar 8, 2019

So I was reading this book the other night to my son:

And I noticed something. On every page/spread are hidden four bugs: red, blue, yellow beetles and a cricket. So of course the achievement/trophy hunter in me flared up, and I had to find them all. But I missed some.

Anyone here get them all? Anyone find any other hidden gems like this in other kids books?

H.Protagonist · Mar 8, 2019

Septimus Prime said:
So I was reading this book the other night to my son:

And I noticed something. On every page/spread are hidden four bugs: red, blue, yellow beetles and a cricket. So of course the achievement/trophy hunter in me flared up, and I had to find them all. But I missed some.

Anyone here get them all? Anyone find any other hidden gems like this in other kids books?

Never seen that book, but my aunt got this one for my daughter and it's kind of a kiddie version of Where's Waldo:

There's hidden stuff all over the place in this one. Maybe there's a version for your area? She likes it so much (and I like looking for the stuff too) that I might have to get Where's Waldo now.

Anno · Mar 8, 2019

Septimus Prime said:
So I was reading this book the other night to my son:

And I noticed something. On every page/spread are hidden four bugs: red, blue, yellow beetles and a cricket. So of course the achievement/trophy hunter in me flared up, and I had to find them all. But I missed some.

Anyone here get them all? Anyone find any other hidden gems like this in other kids books?

Ahh, we have this book. I know what I'm doing for story time tonight!

RedNalgene · Mar 8, 2019

Septimus Prime said:
So I was reading this book the other night to my son:

And I noticed something. On every page/spread are hidden four bugs: red, blue, yellow beetles and a cricket. So of course the achievement/trophy hunter in me flared up, and I had to find them all. But I missed some.

Anyone here get them all? Anyone find any other hidden gems like this in other kids books?

Whoa, I never noticed that. It's one of my daughter's favorite books - in fact she has a little giraffe plush that we named Gerald. I'm looking tonight at storytime!

Septimus Prime · Mar 10, 2019

Hey, I think that's a Lucky Emblem!

Gee, I'll bet there's one of them Lucky Emblems around here. Ahyuck.

obin_gam · Mar 10, 2019

So my stepson has decided to drop out of highschool. He's a sophmore and told us last night he was behind in several courses, and that he had been for months. He wants to drop out now, and start the second year over in the fall again. Tomorrow I'll call the principal to set up an emergency meeting so we can set up some kind of plan...

Some background: For the first year he studied at a Handball High School, as a goalie, 500 km from here. He and three others 16year olds lived by themselves in a house and had to manage school, practice and such by themselves. This became too much for him so after the fall semester he moved back home. Problem then arose that the courses he studied there did not align to the courses that is available at the high school here. So in order to not have to redo Year 1, he had to do 2 courses during the summer break and an extra math course during Year 2 now. I'm guessing all this - and having no summer break - have no caught up to him and burnt him out completely. He had the choice to start Year 1 again here ehen he moved back, but he wanted to graduate with his friends, so therefore he took the descicion to do the extra stuff. Which in hindsight probably was the wrong choice....

It feels really bad... Hes completely wtecked, burnt out...

Deleted member 8860 · Mar 10, 2019

Taking a semester or even a year off isn't the end of the world. If he can get focused and back into school in the fall, it'll be for the best.

Deleted member 19626 · Mar 10, 2019

Went to my sister's wedding in Mexico with the two year old and the six week old. Went alright I suppose but the busses to the venue got lost and it didn't start till almost 7 and couldn't get a shuttle back to the hotel till midnight. We were of course the only people with kids so no one really worked around us, but I suppose it's a memory

RedNalgene · Mar 10, 2019

Markofhavoc said:
Went to my sister's wedding in Mexico with the two year old and the six week old. Went alright I suppose but the busses to the venue got lost and it didn't start till almost 7 and couldn't get a shuttle back to the hotel till midnight. We were of course the only people with kids so no one really worked around us, but I suppose it's a memory

I'd be freaking out. Good on you if you were able to shrug it off and have a good time. MY kid's bedtime is so critical to her happiness.

Deleted member 19626 · Mar 10, 2019

RedNalgene said:
I'd be freaking out. Good on you if you were able to shrug it off and have a good time. MY kid's bedtime is so critical to her happiness.

It's been a rough day. Fought the naps and the normal bedtime. If it's one good thing for timing it's at least day light savings so it was going to be a tough night to get her to go to sleep anyhow

The Albatross · Mar 11, 2019

Septimus Prime said:
So I was reading this book the other night to my son:

And I noticed something. On every page/spread are hidden four bugs: red, blue, yellow beetles and a cricket. So of course the achievement/trophy hunter in me flared up, and I had to find them all. But I missed some.

Anyone here get them all? Anyone find any other hidden gems like this in other kids books?

No hidden gems really, but this is a favorite book in our house too. Poor gerald!

Here are some of my favs:

You Were the First

Made for Me

Steam Train, Dream Train

You were the First is a great, great book and if you have a newborn/infant whose your only child at the moment then goddam this book will make you cry. But it's just a wonderful little book, I buy it for all of my friends who have kids too.

Made for Me is a great Dad + Daughter/Son book, but especially good because there aren't a lot of dad+daughter books in my experience that are especially good. We've got a thousand books for little girls, a lot of them I think are shitty even the ones that are supposed to be good, and I like this one a lot.

Steam Train, Dream Train is a great book. The title is tough to say, but it only appears twice in the book, and each page is full of imagination, and it's not a wordless book like so many others. It's a solid book and we read it a few times a week.

lt519 · Mar 11, 2019

Little Jack has been inconsolable in his awake hours, his sister went through the same phase about a week ago, but he's ramped it up to a whole different level. At least he's sleeping at night and eating plenty, but whew is it exhausting. Checked his temps, giving him some acid reflux medicine, and doing tummy exercises to help pass gas. Checked for little hairs wrapped around his parts and/or fingers/toes. Doctor says he's totally healthy just colicky. I'm really hoping it's just gas so we're trying new bottles and paying extra attention to burping, etc, but bracing for the possibility that he's just going to be a colicky baby until he grows out of it.

Septimus Prime · Mar 22, 2019

Hello. So, my second son was born today! Today also happens to be his brother's birthday, so that makes it real easy to remember.

Redcrayon · Mar 22, 2019

Congratulations! As a twin I am familiar with shared birthdays :-)

Deleted member 8860 · Mar 22, 2019

Septimus Prime said:
Hello. So, my second son was born today! Today also happens to be his brother's birthday, so that makes it real easy to remember.

Congrats!

If we do have a second, we're going to try to time conception/birth around the same time as our first's (a good fit for our work schedules). Hitting the same day, though, is pretty lucky.

Anno · Mar 23, 2019

Septimus Prime said:
Hello. So, my second son was born today! Today also happens to be his brother's birthday, so that makes it real easy to remember.

Congrats!

I've been super worried about how much we're feeding Josie ever since she went to mostly solid foods. No matter what I worry that we're simultaneiosuly giving her too much food and not enough, it's weird.

Deleted member 19626 · Mar 23, 2019

Anno said:
Congrats!

I've been super worried about how much we're feeding Josie ever since she went to mostly solid foods. No matter what I worry that we're simultaneiosuly giving her too much food and not enough, it's weird.

Our pediatrician said we were definetly feeding our daughter too much. Nothing unhealthy either, just larger portions then they should have. Ask them what an ideal meal plan is next time, it kind of suprised me how much more we were giving her even though it didn't seem like much to me

Anno · Mar 23, 2019

Markofhavoc said:
Our pediatrician said we were definetly feeding our daughter too much. Nothing unhealthy either, just larger portions then they should have. Ask them what an ideal meal plan is next time, it kind of suprised me how much more we were giving her even though it didn't seem like much to me

We asked her that at our 9-month checkup and she said everything was okay, which was surprising. We haven't really increased it since then, but sometimes it still just seems like a lot of food for such a little thing.

GiJose · Mar 23, 2019

Kids generally self regulate ok in terms of food intake

As long as their growth isn't astronomical there's a wide range

H.Protagonist · Mar 24, 2019

GiJose said:
Kids generally self regulate ok in terms of food intake

As long as their growth isn't astronomical there's a wide range

Unfortunately, with foods these days I think it's rather easier than before to overfeed your kid. Especially with formula. My sister's first kid at just over 1 was 18th percentile in height...and 98th percentile in weight. Kid looked like the Michelin Man. Couldn't walk. Just kind of butterball-ed around. And you could say she was an outlier, but I've seen the other babies in my daughter's nursery. Many are, erm, large.

RDreamer · Mar 24, 2019

H.Protagonist said:
Unfortunately, with foods these days I think it's rather easier than before to overfeed your kid. Especially with formula. My sister's first kid at just over 1 was 18th percentile in height...and 98th percentile in weight. Kid looked like the Michelin Man. Couldn't walk. Just kind of butterball-ed around. And you could say she was an outlier, but I've seen the other babies in my daughter's nursery. Many are, erm, large.

Ah so that's who some of these baby outfits we've got are for. We bought a bunch before having our baby and now we look at shirts clearly twice as wide as our son and kind of laugh.

He's 97th percentile in height and 60th percentile in weight. Pretty lean for a baby I guess.

Anno · Mar 24, 2019

At her 9 month check up she was 95th in height, 98th in weight and 90somethingth in head size. The doctor didn't seem concerned. We've cut back her formula quite a bit and I think she's gotten more tall than wide since then but it's hard to tell for sure.

Other kids her age in my wife's reddit group are eating Cheezits and Fritos and stuff, which sounds crazy to me. Josie might or might not eat too much but at least it's all vegetables, fruit or lean meat.

GiJose · Mar 24, 2019

H.Protagonist said:
Unfortunately, with foods these days I think it's rather easier than before to overfeed your kid. Especially with formula. My sister's first kid at just over 1 was 18th percentile in height...and 98th percentile in weight. Kid looked like the Michelin Man. Couldn't walk. Just kind of butterball-ed around. And you could say she was an outlier, but I've seen the other babies in my daughter's nursery. Many are, erm, large.

Certainly it's easy. You can ignore their cues, but kids are innately able to self regulate. A lot of parents start to freak out when their kids begin to skip meals or drop a bottle and try to pack in extra calories.

Some of it is cultural too, bigger babies are often viewed as healthier

Rocketz · Apr 1, 2019

I walk upstairs to go to bed, I'm greeted with my son farting 3 times as I walk in the door as he sleeps in his pack and play.

Guess that's him saying goodnight to me.

vacantseas · Apr 2, 2019

We are officially in the birth month! Due date (our first) is April 25th. My wife just had her weekly checkup yesterday. Baby is measuring 37 weeks, and it'll be 37 weeks on Thursday, so right where she should be. She's moved into a head down position as well, so that's good.

Now the waiting begins. My wife has good days and bad with the aches and pains which all seem to be normal, unfortunately enough for her. Now she's complaining of cramping which can be labor signs. I think this is going to be a long 3 weeks if the baby arrives on schedule.

RDreamer · Apr 2, 2019

vacantseas said:
We are officially in the birth month! Due date (our first) is April 25th. My wife just had her weekly checkup yesterday. Baby is measuring 37 weeks, and it'll be 37 weeks on Thursday, so right where she should be. She's moved into a head down position as well, so that's good.

Now the waiting begins. My wife has good days and bad with the aches and pains which all seem to be normal, unfortunately enough for her. Now she's complaining of cramping which can be labor signs. I think this is going to be a long 3 weeks if the baby arrives on schedule.

Try to spend as much time with each other as possible now. Go out to eat. See movies. Take advantage because things won't be the same afterwards and the ease of doing some of those things and getting in a "date" will be much more difficult.

Deleted member 19626 · Apr 2, 2019

RDreamer said:
Try to spend as much time with each other as possible now. Go out to eat. See movies. Take advantage because things won't be the same afterwards and the ease of doing some of those things and getting in a "date" will be much more difficult.

I really can't recommend this enough. Even if you think you are doing it a lot, do it more.

RedNalgene · Apr 2, 2019

Markofhavoc said:
I really can't recommend this enough. Even if you think you are doing it a lot, do it more.

+1. Seriously. It's so much harder to do stuff when the kid is here. We should have gone out every day in the lead-up.

Septimus Prime · Apr 2, 2019

vacantseas said:
We are officially in the birth month! Due date (our first) is April 25th. My wife just had her weekly checkup yesterday. Baby is measuring 37 weeks, and it'll be 37 weeks on Thursday, so right where she should be. She's moved into a head down position as well, so that's good.

Now the waiting begins. My wife has good days and bad with the aches and pains which all seem to be normal, unfortunately enough for her. Now she's complaining of cramping which can be labor signs. I think this is going to be a long 3 weeks if the baby arrives on schedule.

Are you ready to have the child now? Both my sons were both at 37 weeks, so make you have at least some things in order in case birth happens.

vacantseas · Apr 2, 2019

Septimus Prime said:
Are you ready to have the child now? Both my sons were both at 37 weeks, so make you have at least some things in order in case birth happens.

Yeah, we're all set.

Just got back from the police station this evening to verify the car seats were installed correctly (they weren't). The hospital to-go bag is ready, nursery is a mess but ready for a baby if need be. We have diapers. I think the main things we're all good on.

Anno · Apr 2, 2019

vacantseas said:
Yeah, we're all set.

Just got back from the police station this evening to verify the car seats were installed correctly (they weren't). The hospital to-go bag is ready, nursery is a mess but ready for a baby if need be. We have diapers. I think the main things we're all good on.

Something we decided to do pretty quickly was (if the money adds up of course) buy like three more of everything you'd normally keep in a specific place and put it all over the house if you can. Have an extra bottle and formula tester? Stick it under a bathroom sink. Couple extra pacifiers? Just have those things within arms reach literally anywhere you are in the house. Spare rags? Buy as many as you can and litter the house with them if you can. Grab a handful of diapers and put one in every room in your house. Something will always be as far away as possible in the house when you really need it.

Deleted member 19626 · Apr 2, 2019

Anno said:
Spare rags? Buy as many as you can and just litter the house with them if you can.

I have equally way too many rags and not enough. Wife always needs them at an arms length when breastfeeding and the worst is running around the house looking for them as one boob just shoots out milk, yet when I don't need one they are everywhere

Anno · Apr 2, 2019

Markofhavoc said:
I have equally way too many rags and not enough. Wife always needs them at an arms length when breastfeeding and the worst is running around the house looking for them as one boob just shoots out milk, yet when I don't need one they are everywhere

This is indeed some cosmic truth. My mother in law bought I think 97 old cloth diapers at a garage sale and gave them to us for the baby. At one point I had more than half of them laid out just on our first floor and still routinely had to look around wildly only to find one two rooms away when the baby suddenly spit up.

vacantseas · Apr 3, 2019

RDreamer said:
Try to spend as much time with each other as possible now. Go out to eat. See movies. Take advantage because things won't be the same afterwards and the ease of doing some of those things and getting in a "date" will be much more difficult.

Markofhavoc said:
I really can't recommend this enough. Even if you think you are doing it a lot, do it more.

RedNalgene said:
+1. Seriously. It's so much harder to do stuff when the kid is here. We should have gone out every day in the lead-up.

Anno said:
Something we decided to do pretty quickly was (if the money adds up of course) buy like three more of everything you'd normally keep in a specific place and put it all over the house if you can. Have an extra bottle and formula tester? Stick it under a bathroom sink. Couple extra pacifiers? Just have those things within arms reach literally anywhere you are in the house. Spare rags? Buy as many as you can and litter the house with them if you can. Grab a handful of diapers and put one in every room in your house. Something will always be as far away as possible in the house when you really need it.

Thanks for the tips!

The Albatross · Apr 3, 2019

vacantseas said:
Yeah, we're all set.

Just got back from the police station this evening to verify the car seats were installed correctly (they weren't). The hospital to-go bag is ready, nursery is a mess but ready for a baby if need be. We have diapers. I think the main things we're all good on.

good luck!

A counter I have with the 'go out now because you'll never be able to go out" mantra, is to try to work your newborn into your lifestyle as best you can. I was lucky to have paternity leave (4 weeks) and my wife had 8, and by week 2 we were kinda going nuts being couped up at home... only going out for groceries or take out or something, and so middle of 3rd week we were like "... lets get out of the house..." You'll read plenty of material that says "NO! Baby must be kept in protective bubble at all times until 5 years old!" and "Sure! Take your baby to the CLUB to get KKRRRAAZZZZY" but I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. We brought baby out to a nearby brewery with us, bundled in her carrier, at like ~2PM and we got lunch and beers and it was just really nice. MOre than just getting out of the house, it also gave us the confidence that nothing bad happened and we can do it.

From then on, we pretty aggressively tried to bring baby as many places as we could, and it helped in these first 8 months because she learned to sleep through noise and she's really good at dinner time (our dinner time, that is). We'd intentionally pick places that are "baby easy" to go to... open spaces where you're not sitting on top of other people with convenient seating to fit a car seat, and normal places where nobody really cares if you have a baby.

It's been good, and even though she's way bigger now, we still go out to dinner at this local restaurant/bar on Friday nights... early, of course, about 5PM (I leave work a little early on fridays) because her bed time is ~645-7:30ish or so... but now, baby just kinda sits on my lap, chills, looks around, and she's a ham and all the staff love her.

The first few weeks are weird because they're extremely boring 90% of the time, and then 10% of the time it's literally a fucking fire drill of "where are the diapers?? wheres the bottle?? shes shitting everywhere! she won't stop crying!!!" then she falls asleep and you're back to ... "Ok so we're just sitting here being bored..."

So it was nice to try to get out of the house and make it normal.

You'll do well though, there's only so much preparation you can do, you end up learning as you go along.

Anno · Apr 3, 2019

Yeah going out with your baby to eat is way less stressful than I would've thought. My only concern with it now is sometimes she just decides to get super talkative and start yelling randomly at people walking by. They smile because she's a baby but I assume it's annoying lol.

The Albatross · Apr 3, 2019

Septimus Prime said:
Hello. So, my second son was born today! Today also happens to be his brother's birthday, so that makes it real easy to remember.

WOah both your kids have the same birthday? That's wild.

... Was your anniversary 9 months ago.....?

Septimus Prime · Apr 3, 2019

The Albatross said:
WOah both your kids have the same birthday? That's wild.

... Was your anniversary 9 months ago.....?

No, but that would make a lot of sense!

It's like I have twins, but three years apart.

Nephtes · Apr 13, 2019

We're 6 weeks out (give or take) from our kid being born and my wife is furiously going through all of the baby shower items we received and is freaking out about something called a "Rock 'N Play" which everyone said we needed for the baby to sleep in for the first 3 months (why did we buy this expensive crib then?) but now she's wondering if we should keep it because apparently it's been recalled for asphyxiating babies.

She's never asked me to post anything on ResetEra before, but this morning when she came to me and was all "Hey John, you know that website you post to on the internet? Can you ask if they used a Fischer Price Rock 'N Play and what they think about the recall?" So I mean, how could I turn down that request?

Thoughts?

Deleted member 19626 · Apr 13, 2019

Haven't used it but if it's in open recall it seems kind of obvious not to use it

Edit: Looked it up, they recalled all models, don't use it

Anno · Apr 13, 2019

I think it was always advised never to let babies sleep in something like a Rock and Play. If you just use it to hold the baby while she's awake and you need to do something else I don't really see how it could be bad? Josie loved sitting in hers while we cooked or outside when it was warm. We just never let her sleep in it.

The recall to me seems to read as people being unable to follow directions and use it for something that's unintended and that's how the babies died, not because it's inherently unsafe.

RDreamer · Apr 13, 2019

Nephtes said:
We're 6 weeks out (give or take) from our kid being born and my wife is furiously going through all of the baby shower items we received and is freaking out about something called a "Rock 'N Play" which everyone said we needed for the baby to sleep in for the first 3 months (why did we buy this expensive crib then?) but now she's wondering if we should keep it because apparently it's been recalled for asphyxiating babies.

A) Babies should sleep in their crib if at all possible. They need to be on a flat surface. Spending too much time in a rock n play can affect their spine and skull development. Anyone saying you need it for them to actually sleep in is doing it wrong. A nap here and there would be ok.

B) The infants that tragically died weren't buckled in and could roll. That's insanely dangerous to a degree I cannot fathom why the parents did it. If you use it with the buckles like it's supposed to be used it seems fine. It's like using a car seat without a buckle and then claiming it's unsafe. Once infants can roll A LOT of things become much more unsafe. You can't swaddle them at that point.

C) Unless the money's a huge issue you can probably keep it. Just supervise the baby in there and buckle it up. It's fine to set them down for a few minutes while you quickly do a dish or two or feed your animals or whatever. We used ours because it was easier to get meds into our little one in that position.

But yeah, bottom line is that babies should be sleeping on a flat surface with nothing else around first and foremost. If they do need to sleep elsewhere it should probably be on an AWAKE person. Definitely supervised anywhere else and not on any other elevated surface.

Anno said:
The recall to me seems to read as people being unable to follow directions and use it for something that's unintended and that's how the babies died, not because it's inherently unsafe.

Right. They weren't buckled in and could roll. That's just insane and very obviously dangerous.

ParentERA |OT| What To Expect When You’re Not Sleeping

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