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Number of past intimate partners.
- Thread starter mentok15
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I don't think it's a big deal but it's not really something that's brought up in conversation. I don't think outside of high school, or maybe early college, ever discussing the number of sexual partners with friends. Seems pretty juvenile.
Also If you can keep count you probably aren't fucking enough lol
Also If you can keep count you probably aren't fucking enough lol
It doesn't matter, though one time a friend told me that they were in the triple digits and I was trying to work out the logistics of how that would even happen given that they were in their late 20s, had given up casual sex at least a couple years prior, and had spent a decent amount of time in monogamous relationships (and I don't think they were sexually active prior to college).
Chill dude.
In my experience people that supposedly keep count of a large amount partners, or brag about sexual conquests, are typically full of shit.
Most people are usually pretty discrete about their sexual partners.
Maybe it's an age thing.
Nobody should care but many people do. The whole thing is also unfairly skewed towards men as those with many partners get labelled as studs or playboys with cavalier attitudes whereas women with many partners get labelled as promiscuous sluts or whores or bitches - it's just not fair.
If a partner asks me then I'll always be honest with them about the number (higher than it should be) even if I usually end up getting told off for it.
If a partner asks me then I'll always be honest with them about the number (higher than it should be) even if I usually end up getting told off for it.
I don't think it should matter, but many people are bothered by it for various reasons. Sometimes insecurity or preconceived notions about what people who have sex with lots of partners must be like, maybe fear of contracting STIs or something. Shrug.
At the very least if it does bother you don't be a dick to people about it, and be upfront asking about it if it's a dealbreaker.
At the very least if it does bother you don't be a dick to people about it, and be upfront asking about it if it's a dealbreaker.
Agreed. Of course there have been nice/fun/exciting encounters but in my experience nothing compares to sex with someone you really click with. It's a whole other level.
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You nailed it. People do care and when you bring this stuff up in a casual conversation some people are going to get a bit bent out of shape. Hence why things got weird for OP with his friends tonight. It's why this stuff shouldn't be, and isn't normally, brought up in casual conversation.
You are right that women typically get it the worst, I worked in an industry where there was a lot of intermingling after work between coworkers and our clients if you know what I mean. I actually found women oftentimes are the worst at slut-shaming and labelling other women which is just messed up.
Bringing up your history of sexual partners or numbers is never a good idea with your partner. This always leads to some awkwardness, insecurity, and jealousy in my experience. I find it's usually best to keep the past in the past. I don't know why anyone would really want to bring this conversation up but fuck if it doesn't seem to happen in every other relationship. I would honestly lie or say I don't remember to get out of the conversation. I'm really glad my current partner has never asked and doesn't really seem to care because I don't want to know about her past either.
Definitely. The sex I have with my fiancé is without a doubt the best I've ever had.
This has been the first time anything like this has come up, before most has been preferences/who they like. And I'm pretty private with this stuff too. Hence a bit of the weirdness. I'm too old for this shit.
Though I'm not particularly worried that it will effect friendships or anything going forward, it's more just a little embarrassing.
Doesn't matter at all to me as long as the guy has been responsible and recently tested.
Sometimes there are red flags, like for instance someone asking you to cream them raw five times in a row on the first date, lmao.
Hot, but also a bit of a giveaway about their attitude toward safe sex. 🤔
Sometimes there are red flags, like for instance someone asking you to cream them raw five times in a row on the first date, lmao.
Hot, but also a bit of a giveaway about their attitude toward safe sex. 🤔
This is a clear case where quality is way more relevant than quantity. Relationship experience is important, but whom you gain it with or over how many different relationships, is not.
I get you, but weirdly for me, I don't care in the slightest - like age, it's just a number. If my partner told me they only had 1 or 2 partners or even 700/800 partners; as long as they are clean then I don't care either way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
lol tell me more about this word "safe"..?
I honestly find it hard that people would not care, even if the majority itt seems inclined to write so. Even if for just mere curiosity. I admit that is it something that i like talking about with other people, but mostly because i'm very curious about how different the lives of different people can be, and what people think about the life they've had. But me finding someone to have a relationship with is rare enough that i don't really have any preference one way or the other, but in general i would rather each relationship be with someone who has a different perspective of life than my previous relationships, and i suppose how sexually active they are is a part of that.
User Banned (3 Months) Sexist and Misogynistic Rhetoric, "Slut" Shaming; Sex Shaming of Any Kind is Not Tolerated
Apparently I'm the only one on this forum who would prefer the least amount of men to have nutted in my gf/wife. More power to yas.
It's horseshit for sure. Like...how can this energy thing be measured?
User Banned (3 Months) Sexist and Misogynistic Rhetoric, "Slut" Shaming; Sex Shaming of Any Kind is Not Tolerated
I ain't gonna lie, a high number would vex me. But I probably wouldn't be in a serious relationship with that person in the first place. Very hypocritical cos of my past but it's w/e
+1
I do not give a shit.
My last partner made me out to be some kind of manwhore because of my history (which I don't think is really too out of the ordinary from other people). To no surprise we did not last in the end.
Some of you in here need to get a fucking grip and at least try not slut shame. You sound like incels.
My last partner made me out to be some kind of manwhore because of my history (which I don't think is really too out of the ordinary from other people). To no surprise we did not last in the end.
Some of you in here need to get a fucking grip and at least try not slut shame. You sound like incels.
I am not the author of the idea nor do I practice the science but when it was presented to me from someone who happened to be polyamorous it did sound plausible if you believe people have a unique energy to them.
A unique "energy" that is transferable and imprint-able specifically through sex, and with a set half-life? Lol. Does oral count? A quickie for 2 minutes vs. a night of passion?
Dang, one of the most pathetic posts in the history of this website. More power to you.
People are allowed to look for serious partners who hold certain values, and if one of those is certain views on casual sex not being for them, that's their prerogative.
Of course, if it comes from a place of hypocritical misogyny, that's a different story, but shaming someone who doesn't sleep around for preferring partners who also don't is bullshit.
Of course, if it comes from a place of hypocritical misogyny, that's a different story, but shaming someone who doesn't sleep around for preferring partners who also don't is bullshit.
Well I mean hopefully they were practicing safe sex and not nutting IN your partner. But either way why does it matter?
I can understand why a lot of people care about this, but you can't simply ask for the number and be done with it; you need context.
A person who's had a lot of sexual partners isn't necessarily incapable of committing, and there's nothing wrong with having several sexual partners within a short period of time as long as you're not "committed" to anyone (in other words, you're not cheating) and as long as you're being responsible and getting tested regularly. Some people just don't have time for a relationship, and there're thankfully plenty of other like-minded people out there for them to have more casual relationships with.
A person who's had a lot of sexual partners isn't necessarily incapable of committing, and there's nothing wrong with having several sexual partners within a short period of time as long as you're not "committed" to anyone (in other words, you're not cheating) and as long as you're being responsible and getting tested regularly. Some people just don't have time for a relationship, and there're thankfully plenty of other like-minded people out there for them to have more casual relationships with.
What can I say, people believe a lot of things that can't be proven outright and who am I to say that the process used to create a life form doesn't have residual effects? I don't know how much truth is in it or not but it's not the craziest thing I have ever heard for sure.
I read your post with Mordin's voice and it almost works, just modified it a bit in my head
Don't ask, don't tell. Currently dating a girl. Doesn't want to know, neither do I. No big deal if found out, childish question. Changes nothing.
Isn't it just an ego thing? Like how does that affect you?
There's no truth in it. It's quasi spiritual bullshit.
"Can't be proven outright" is a funny way of saying "there is zero evidence for, but conveniently it allows me to low key slut shame and shut down criticism."
Question for the people in here that are saying it doesn't matter.
If the number of people a person has slept with denotes hyper sexuality/sex addiction, would your stance change?
I'm pretty sure most of you are meaning outside of very extreme cases like that, obviously, but I am curious to hear ya'lls thoughts on sex addiction regardless.
If the number of people a person has slept with denotes hyper sexuality/sex addiction, would your stance change?
I'm pretty sure most of you are meaning outside of very extreme cases like that, obviously, but I am curious to hear ya'lls thoughts on sex addiction regardless.
No.
The person who told me this was polyamorous, wouldn't that be the opposite of slut shaming? Furthermore, why are you dismissive of the spiritual aspect of it, what's the difference?
Whenever I have gotten this question, I've looked the person who asked directly in the eye, and with all seriousness tossed out a number like "98" and adjusted my perception of them based on how they responded to that.
I think it's an absurd question to ask.
I think it's an absurd question to ask.
After a certain number it starts to become a bad indicator, yeah. I know a guy who has slept with over a hundred people and he really has some serious emotional issues.
Because can only get fucked, never do the fuck, and every time someone nuts in her they lose -10 value points. Only relevant when it's a dick tho. Lesbian sex ain't real. Truly one of the most pathetic things I've read on here.
Anyway, I think this is a stupid rabbit hole that mostly only men care about. I don't like asking about it because I don't like other people being reduced to numbers. If someone is hypersexual, it will impact potential partners in ways beyond just a number of partners.
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