Welcome welcome. Now I'm not the newest addition to the roster 😁
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Hey folks, I mostly lurk as well but want to say hi!
1. What are your pronouns?
I'm using he/him and they/them right now.
2. How do you like to describe your gender / identity? Are there any terms, identities, or affinities you like to evoke in describing yourself?
My understanding of my gender has drifted over time, since originally realizing I am trans back in 2010. I am amab and originally came out as a binary trans woman nine years ago(I socially transitioned in early 2013), but realized that I am non-binary in 2016. At the time I believed myself to be a demiwoman, but now believe myself to be genderflux. Basically, I'm not a guy, but my gender fluctuates between "demiwoman" and "basically agender".
3. In your experience, does being non-binary feel like having no gender, many genders, fluctuating genders, or both / neither?
My gender fluctuates, between a point close to "binary woman" and somewhere far away from either point of our binary.
4. What's your favorite thing about being non-binary? What's your least favorite? What's something that has surprised you?
My favorite thing is how much my gender has led to exploration about how our society views gender in general.
My least favorite thing is the struggle for visibility, when my expression of gender isn't outside of cis female norms. I have a lot of personal issues with the gender binary, and gaining the privilege of being cis-female after transitioning actually ended up working for me in terms of public comfort(esp in gendered spaces, ie restrooms), but against me in my private life. I've been recently trying to reconcile both.
5. Has any people, media, art, music, etc. inspired your non-binary self-actualization? If so please share & feel free to elaborate!
Rebecca Sugar for being a non-binary creator who has normalized a wide range of non-binary expression with Steven Universe. Jonathan Van Ness for helping me take strides in finding comfort in more genderfuck aspects of my presentation(however rare they may be).
6. Is there anything else you'd like to share or say?
I think you folks are all lovely, thank you for making this space what it is.
1. What are your pronouns?
I'm using he/him and they/them right now.
2. How do you like to describe your gender / identity? Are there any terms, identities, or affinities you like to evoke in describing yourself?
My understanding of my gender has drifted over time, since originally realizing I am trans back in 2010. I am amab and originally came out as a binary trans woman nine years ago(I socially transitioned in early 2013), but realized that I am non-binary in 2016. At the time I believed myself to be a demiwoman, but now believe myself to be genderflux. Basically, I'm not a guy, but my gender fluctuates between "demiwoman" and "basically agender".
3. In your experience, does being non-binary feel like having no gender, many genders, fluctuating genders, or both / neither?
My gender fluctuates, between a point close to "binary woman" and somewhere far away from either point of our binary.
4. What's your favorite thing about being non-binary? What's your least favorite? What's something that has surprised you?
My favorite thing is how much my gender has led to exploration about how our society views gender in general.
My least favorite thing is the struggle for visibility, when my expression of gender isn't outside of cis female norms. I have a lot of personal issues with the gender binary, and gaining the privilege of being cis-female after transitioning actually ended up working for me in terms of public comfort(esp in gendered spaces, ie restrooms), but against me in my private life. I've been recently trying to reconcile both.
5. Has any people, media, art, music, etc. inspired your non-binary self-actualization? If so please share & feel free to elaborate!
Rebecca Sugar for being a non-binary creator who has normalized a wide range of non-binary expression with Steven Universe. Jonathan Van Ness for helping me take strides in finding comfort in more genderfuck aspects of my presentation(however rare they may be).
6. Is there anything else you'd like to share or say?
I think you folks are all lovely, thank you for making this space what it is.
Been feeling real shitty about things lately:
1) I keep putting on weight and that just makes me feel even more dysphoric because *list of complicated reasons*
2) Every time I see someone hold up another non-binary person as an ideal it's always an androgynous icon. Just seems like that's the "normal" view of what an enby should be. As a fat, bald, male-presenting, bearded, gender-confused person it just makes me feel bad cause it's so hard for me to hit the gender-neutral targets I want to hit and I'll probably never be seen by others in a way that I see myself in my imagination.
3) Somehow I'm still fucking up MY OWN pronouns when telling self-stories to others. Luckily others, and my partner, are better than I am.
4) I'm considering moving to using my middle name for my preferred name as it's far more neutral than "Joshua", but I don't even know how to start.
1) I keep putting on weight and that just makes me feel even more dysphoric because *list of complicated reasons*
2) Every time I see someone hold up another non-binary person as an ideal it's always an androgynous icon. Just seems like that's the "normal" view of what an enby should be. As a fat, bald, male-presenting, bearded, gender-confused person it just makes me feel bad cause it's so hard for me to hit the gender-neutral targets I want to hit and I'll probably never be seen by others in a way that I see myself in my imagination.
3) Somehow I'm still fucking up MY OWN pronouns when telling self-stories to others. Luckily others, and my partner, are better than I am.
4) I'm considering moving to using my middle name for my preferred name as it's far more neutral than "Joshua", but I don't even know how to start.
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Shamash etiira hey :) thanks for popping by, how're your weeks going?
- Hey, sorry to hear you're low on this, what's been your main thing working against you atm?
- I think most of us get that, or at least have had to work through that (if someone could throw a rope back down when you find that magical way out pls do). Normal doesn't exist to even meter a 'should' against. Always ground yourself with that anchor. I know you yourself want to present androgynous and that is you, just don't lose sight of it not having a bearing on the validity of your identity. It's shit and it sucks, but don't use what the world robs from you already to take more from you. You think cis people out there worrying on the daily about how they could present a rift deep within you that sits outside of the gender binary? Most can barely parse the idea of your sex and gender being misaligned at all.
- 😂 "how can I expect others to take my pronouns seriously when I keep fucking them up" should always raise an eyebrow when you've lived your whole life adhering to a specific set. It's not surprising, it is fucking irritating, it completely does feel like it invalidates you but it doesn't change the fact that you prefer the pronouns you do and that aligns best for who you know yourself to be. Similar to above, the fact you're worrying about it kinda tells you what you need to know.
- Friends, personal social media names, IM names to start perhaps?
Society as a whole is still chained to the binary, and androgyny is a reflection of that: it can only exist in a binary space because it requires those binaries to define itself.
No one will ever see you the way you see yourself. It's impossible. We're ink blots. Seven-dimensional ink-blots in a five-colour spectrum, shifting every moment like oil on water. Everyone will see something different in the pattern unique to them, filtered through their life's experiences. If you want to change the way they see you, you have to change the way they see, not what they see. Teach them that being fat, bald, male-presenting and bearded is as valid a nonbinary identity as any other - if not for yourself, then for all the fat, bald, male-presenting, bearded enbies who follow.
I feel for you. Ideally I'd like to be able to pass as a woman without just looking like a guy in drag for those occasions when it suits, but I'd probably settle for moving the androgyny slider to at least attempt to scratch the itch. But I'm a similar boat as you when it comes to physical appearance, and even "slightly androgynous" is a fucking hard target to hit. The most I've managed so far is some long cardigans, a pair of penny loafers, and if I'm feeling daring a pair of my wife's jeans. It probably isn't even that androgynous, it just moves it a notch in that direction from my usual attire.
Some unisex glasses would be a welcome, but I'm not sure how to go about even acquiring those as most any place I could go to try something on are firmly dichotomized between men and women.
Update: most of my critiques are alleviated after watching through to the end of the fourth season. I still think we can do better than having a single non-binary character in a show (especially in a shower that already affords its characters so much fluidity) but the representation of Double Trouble is really wonderful and exciting. And yes I watched a little interview with Jacob Tobia and that made me love the character (and the show) all the more :)
Thanks for the update, good to hear and agree on always pushing for improvement! Last week of work next week before breaking, then will be on it while off.
Well, university classes are over this semester, i did not perform very well. Need to figure out a way to
motivate myself to actually put in the time to study. For now i'll take a small break, but i also intend
to use the the end of this semester to get a better grip on the subjects i did not get a passing grade in, and to finally get some
exercise.
Nice to hear that they're not just a token character that only shows up once and then is forgotten by the series. Maybe there will be more NB characters in the future.
Realise P.U.F. wasn't posted here from the Discord.
That sounds like a good plan 👍 don't be too hard on yourself. Re-examine, plan and get back into it giving yourself space to enjoy the time off too.
Having one of those weeks where I really wish I could change my name in "real life" instead of just online 😂
Been an important year for this little four letter word. Incredibly good feels rn. 💙👍+100
I want to signal boost this article everywhere. Incredibly fascinating person.Realise P.U.F. wasn't posted here from the Discord.
Well, after meditating about what I like, what I done with myself and how I react to other people and situations I now consider myself as a demigender person, but I'm still not sure if this category enter as a non binary, I read on internet about it and it said that it's part of the non binary terrain, but I wanna be sure if that's the correct term but I'm still not sure.
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Anyway, glad to see a thread like this on the board, I still prefer ro lurk, but you guys rock, and have my fully support!
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Anyway, glad to see a thread like this on the board, I still prefer ro lurk, but you guys rock, and have my fully support!
I don't think there's any real doubt that the various flavors of demi still fall within the umbrella of non-binary, so you're good on that front.
More representation is always nice, especially if they are voiced/acted by a NB person.
Sorry for the late post, but here's a little thing to point people who think singular they is ungrammatical/incorrect:
An abridged version of the singular person you:
You used to only apply to second person plural, with the correct second person singular being thou. sometime in the 15th century, people startet adressing nobles with the plural form, to sound more respectful/formal. Then common folks started using singular you as a show of formality/respect and then it started being used as the defacto second person pronoun somewhere in the 17th century, with thou mostly fading out of use. During this transitional period, several people opposed the singular you, such as quaker preacher Thomas Ellwood, who, in his autbiography, gave us this rant on the singular you:
So it used to be that singular person you was also considered ungrammatical/incorrect, it is just that the proper singular second person pronoun (thou) stopped being used by most people. Essentially, if someone complains about contemporary singular they, where they alive during the 16th~17th century, they would be ranting about how singular you is unholy and used by corrupt and evil humans to pervert the correct, wholesome and holy thou which has been intended by god as the true second person singular pronoun.
Sources:
https://www.english-grammar-revolution.com/history-of-you.html -> Brief history of the second person pronouns
https://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=26554 -> The rant in its full glory, with a link to the full book
I wish I could snort lines of rote grammatical prescriptivists getting smackdowns like this off the surface of a mirror.
Trying real hard to not let Rowling's vile opinions color my own opinions about my sister-in-law, whose single defining trait is being a Harry Potter fan and idolizer of Rowling's prose (why).
She doesn't use Twitter and is in all probability completely oblivious to Rowling's antics there. I know she votes the same as me and my wife, but I really don't know what her stances are on gender/sexuality besides some diet homophobic shit she got called out on years ago. I'm afraid to broach the subject, but I also don't want her to have those views go unchallenged if she does hold them...
Trans actress Indya Moore will play a new non-binary character "Steven Universe: Future"
Just finished watching the episode last night. Absolutely exciting.
Just finished watching the episode last night. Absolutely exciting.
Trans actress Indya Moore will play a new non-binary character "Steven Universe: Future"
Just finished watching the episode last night. Absolutely exciting.
Been a fan of Indya Moore since 1st episode of Pose, genuinely can't wait for it 💜
I hope the epilogue to the epilogue of Steven Universe gets an epilogue.
Give me an unending mobius strip of epilogues. Forever.
Give me an unending mobius strip of epilogues. Forever.
Dana hitting all my yes.
This is awesomeTrans actress Indya Moore will play a new non-binary character "Steven Universe: Future"
Just finished watching the episode last night. Absolutely exciting.
Oh good, because I absolutely do not look the part :)
Really, though, I would have taken this as axiomatic. My gradual creeping on the direction of androgynous elements isn't because I specifically want to look non-binary, I'm more trying to provide at least some outlet for impulses of non-masculinity.
As someone that mentally did something similar to the bad examples listed (just not in written text) , thanks for the heads up!
As someone whose short-term prospects mean i don't get to try blending gender elements this tweet is <3
For anyone that might need to hear it.
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www.nytimes.com
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Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control) (Published 2019)
If procrastination isn’t about laziness, then what is it about?
More than welcome. Something I try to put out there every so often as it's something I was beaten with the stigma of for awhile before better understanding (and thus being able to start to address) it. It's so consistently thrown at people as laziness, lack of effort and care and the like that that really only compounds the verbal abuse you give yourself off the back of it. Being kinder to ourselves is something a lot of us contend with and it can have benefits in a lot of places. Breaking out of that abusive monologue is an important fight, even if that voice inside you might be a bit indignant having been told to shove it.
For anyone that might need to hear it.
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Why You Procrastinate (It Has Nothing to Do With Self-Control) (Published 2019)
If procrastination isn’t about laziness, then what is it about?
why what a time to read this the day i've gotten thru 30 minutes of a Udemy course in 4 hours 💀
Good going, have some tunes from a non-binary artist to keep you sane. You'll get there 💜
You should follow that twitter account (or browse it) if you haven't already then for sure! It's an AI that is pretty much honed in on finding and posting that general sense of aesthetic (+ follow up credits tweet). It's pretty good at it at this stage imo, plus it's kind of neat having a robot hand you cool pics in that style.
I'm almost done with "Loki: where Mischief Lies" and it's been really good so far. I post this here because he's actually genderfluid! The term isn't stated, but he actually tells another character that he sees himself as a man and woman. The book uses he/him so I'm using that here as well. There is even a gay main character! Amazon Goodreads
