First party Things I want answered in the next Direct:
- what the hell are EPD 9 doing
- are EPD 8 doing DK? (might not be answered even if we get, for example, an Odyssey 2 announcement)
- is Holy War getting remade? (Signs pointing to yes)
- How's Bayonetta 3 doing?
- is Xenoblade 3 ready to show?
- what's the plan for Animal Crossing?
- when is Splatoon 3 coming?
- is Kirby going 3D?
Some, not all, will be answered.
Hello, it's me, Douglas Bowser. The president of Nintendo. I'm going to answer all of these questions for you right now.
- EPD 9 is working on ARMS 2 but because ARMS 1 didn't sell great we are going to make ARMS 2 a Nintendo Crossover Fighting game. Instead of characters like Min-Min and Twintelle it will be Marth and Byleth. Actually it's all fire emblems
- EPD 8 is making Captain Toad 2: Donkey Kong's Revenge. Captain toad steals Donkey Kong's golden banana and Donkey Kong attempts to murder the small mushroom boy.
- Due to current events we will have permanently cancelled any video games featuring any "holy wars"
- Bayonetta 3 is doing well. Bill Trinen already said this, please pay attention. Expect it in 2026.
- The plan for Animal Crossing is to continue making a lot of money from it and muting people on twitter who @ us about it.
- Splatoon 3 is coming in Summer 2022. You'll only be able to play it between the hours of 4 and 6 PM on wednesdays.
- Kirby is dead
thanks for understanding