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My totally unscientific opinion about men based on the responses on my last thread.

Delphine

Delphine

Fen'Harel Enansal
Administrator
Mar 30, 2018
3,658
France
I quite enjoy reminding my SO, brothers and male friends that they are very beautiful, and while it might make some of them uneasy from time to time, or they do straight up answer to me with a self-deprecating answer, I'll keep doing so because I know words have power, and that time does help with self-esteem and being at peace with someone's outward appearance, as I've seen it with my SO over the years, as well as with myself.

But yeah, most people are truly beautiful, they just don't fucking see it, or can't see it because they're mentally stuck with shitty narrow beauty standards.

Transistor said:
Ironically enough, my wife actually told me to lay off the self deprecating humor, and I've actually felt a lot better about myself since I've done so.
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Yeah, I used to answer sarcastically and snarkily at my SO giving me compliments about my appearance, because of my insecurities. But it just kept on feeding them, and didn't help at all. At some point I got tired of it, and started to just say "thanks" and try to mean it, and at some point, after doing so for a while, I truly meant it, and then, I started to feel better overall about myself. People underestimate just how much words have power, even if we're the ones saying it to ourselves.
 
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Deleted member 5086

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,571
sphagnum said:
I have to agree with that. Why should my self esteem be tied to my appearance? Rather than telling everyone that they're beautiful (which just comes off as an empty compliment, because, let's face it, most people are average and some people are ugly), we should be focusing on building people's confidence in themselves on the basis of their self worth, their inherent value as humans, as people with brains, with thoughts, with rights, etc. That's beauty in an abstract sense, but there's no need to speak in platitudes to people about their appearance.

I'm perfectly content being average and unnoticeable. Consider the lilles of the field...
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I think both kinds of self esteem can be nice. Speaking as someone who has struggled with self esteem in the past due to emotional abuse. It was easier for me to accept the goodness within myself (which I struggled to believe in at first as well), but it's been nice to finally overcome the negative thoughts about myself in all aspects. It's not where my worth lies, but it's nice to feel good about yourself, and accept yourself completely. Sometimes that means accepting your flaws, but it can also mean just overcoming irrational critical thoughts. We're not always the best judges when it comes to ourselves.

Regardless, thanks for the wholesome thread, OP. The positivity is beautiful.
 
Prolepro

Prolepro

Ghostwire: BooShock
Banned
Nov 6, 2017
7,310
snowhite said:
You fuckers are beautiful.
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giphy.gif
 

staedtler

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,659
User Banned (2 Weeks): Antagonizing another user, trolling, & history of related infractions
did you make this thread because you did something bad and this is you just giving yourself a nice guy/girl back pat
 
tangeu

tangeu

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,232
I once got a random compliment from a stranger, something along the lines of "hey, that's a nice shirt, you look really good in it" (who am I kidding those are the exact words, I've replayed it in my head many times) and I didn't know how to respond, I got out a "nooo, thank you though" I have the inability to not refute a physical compliment because I will never believe them about myself.
 
SturokBGD

SturokBGD

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
2,414
Ontario
Self-deprecating humour and self deprecating are two different things. I find many people on forums like this unfortunately fall into the latter when they'd benefit greatly from the former.

But what would I know, I'm as dumb as a rock.
 
Landy828

Landy828

Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,408
Clemson, SC
Haha, thanks OP. You too.

My wife catches me off-guard sometimes when she says things like "You're so cute." or "You look very handsome today."

I don't ever really think about looks, and I never fish for/expect complements. She's really random with it, but it's cool when she says something.

I'll tell my male friends (basically brothers with my close friends) that they're "looking good" or that their a "sexy beast" at random sometimes, lol. We've been friends since middle school, and are all in our 30s. Usually it's when we're dressed up to go out, or spending time with our ladies.
 
jph139

jph139

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,378
I honestly think I'm better looking than most men, just by virtue of being a young, healthy-ish adult with no major deformities, but I still don't get the appeal. The male face/body/whatever is just kind of gross. Even the best looking dude is all blocky and pointy and hairy.

Like if someone wants some, go get it, but I'm eternally baffled as to why. Even trying to be objective, I just don't like looking at us.
 
T002 Tyrant

T002 Tyrant

Member
Nov 8, 2018
8,970
My friend in college said I looked like Adolf Hitler.. Doesn't help that the fucker's right. 😬
 
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cecilpaladin32

Member
Apr 24, 2018
3,608
I've had some platonic female friends tell me "you're not a bad looking guy". More often than not though, women don't refer to my looks, but I've had many women tell me that I'm going to be very successful with women (dating), which I would think partially encompasses looks, but sadly that hasn't come to fruition for me quite yet.
 
takriel

takriel

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
10,221
Better yet: Get rid of the whole beauty concept. We're animals, we don't need to be beautiful. We need to be social.
 

Deleted member 15240

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,460
When I grow my hair out I actually get regular compliments specifically on it by random people. I like those kinds of compliments because my hair is something I really like too but in the few instances that people (including my ex) have complimented my looks in general I just feel bad tbh. I do not like the idea of someone noticing my appearance at all. I'm gracious about accepting compliments but inside it makes me feel gross. Personally, when someone makes me feel like they truly enjoy spending time with me just by... spending time with me it does a lot more for my self-esteem than when someone calls me cute.
 

Deleted member 12379

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,999
appreciate the kind words. i lean real heavy on the self-deprecating humor. sometimes too much. i hate compliments because i dont know how to take em.
 
Amnesty

Amnesty

Member
Nov 7, 2017
2,684
jph139 said:
I honestly think I'm better looking than most men, just by virtue of being a young, healthy-ish adult with no major deformities, but I still don't get the appeal. The male face/body/whatever is just kind of gross. Even the best looking dude is all blocky and pointy and hairy.

Like if someone wants some, go get it, but I'm eternally baffled as to why. Even trying to be objective, I just don't like looking at us.
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You are looking at really limited palette of men I guess
 
T002 Tyrant

T002 Tyrant

Member
Nov 8, 2018
8,970
Ultimate Bear Cub said:
You...weren't abducted by a...time traveler by any chance?
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RoboitoAM said:
Have you tried shaving your mustache
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😂😂😂

I've got what another recent friend calls a 'Decoy Octopus' face, in which it's a face that I can morph into various people's faces almost by accident. I've had people say anything from trash like Hitler and Johnny Depp to Tony Stark (a ten year old said that at a wedding to be fair so I just went along with it to entertain them), all the way to Naked Snake and Wolverine (when I had longer hair).
 
SpankyDoodle

SpankyDoodle

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,082
My girlfriends have all said I'm cute, and I do have an adorable button nose and beautiful eyes, but I only ever seem to think I'm attractive if I'm really, really high. I have kind of a Jack Black thing going on but with longer hair and a shittier beard. If I got back to the body I had in my mid-late 20s I'd probably look pretty fuckin good though, I have the frame to be a stud but I am lazy and depressed so instead I'm a muffin. No matter how buff I got I could never change my face though, weird cute baby face on a yolked body is a look I do not think I can pull off.

Alt take: I know I'm handsome cause my mom says so!!

Is this the nicest thread we've ever had on Era?
 
Scarlet Spider

Scarlet Spider

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,751
Brooklyn, NY
I've seen these kinds of posts on Twitter and Facebook where men give words of encouragement to each other regarding life, their outlook on life, or their appearance/confidence. Calling them King, giving them advice, etc. I mostly remember this starting around 2018 where it became more and more normal. Now there's threads like this in 2020. Quite fascinating yet most welcomed.

eUxaoda.gif


You're all beautiful Kings, don't ever put yourself down or I'll find you and slap the back of your head to remind you that you're wonderful.
 

TinTuba47

Member
Nov 14, 2017
3,801
I feel like I'm good-looking enough.

Not to everyone of course, but enough women think I'm hot that I've never had issues getting a date.

Thanks for the compliment!
 
Doober

Doober

Banned
Jun 10, 2018
4,295
Wamb0wneD said:
Social media and dating platforms aren't helping either. Most women get bombarded with messages while men can feel unwanted really damn fast. Hell I know of some women who just are on these things to get their daily dose of self confidence, comparing how many messages they got a given day, while a lot of men are feeling like it's christmas when just getting contacted once a week, or a month, let alone getting a compliment.

Shit isn't healthy.
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Yeah, my self image always takes a massive hit whenever I use dating apps. I consider myself fairly attractive for my age and place in life, but whenever I try to date online I never feel more aware of my flaws.
 
Toddv360

Toddv360

Member
Oct 27, 2017
119
I can't feel good about the nice compliments I receive. Like the girl I like has told me before that I'm good looking and I should have more confidence about that, but at the end of the day she is still never going to date me. The compliment just kind of rings hollow for me. I want a significant other who thinks I'm good looking. That is good enough for me. The rest of the world can think I'm ugly as long as I have this hypothetical girl who thinks i'm cute.
 

Deleted member 19844

User requested account closure
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Oct 28, 2017
3,500
United States
snowhite said:
You fuckers are beautiful.
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I didn't participate in the other thread, so this is just my reaction to this sentiment, in terms of how I receive it personally:

I don't agree. It just feels inaccurate (based on my sense of physical beauty) and touchy-feely and unnecessary. From a physical looks perspective, my face is generally average and my body is obese. I'm not insecure about it, because who cares. Here it feels like "you are beautiful" is being presented as the answer to a negative perception of your physical appearance, but to me the answer is really self-acceptance -- sober, self-aware self-acceptance.
 
Skade

Skade

Member
Oct 28, 2017
8,862
Nah, guys are ugly, it is known.

Luckily, a lot of people seem to not be able to realize it.
 
Golden

Golden

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Dec 9, 2018
928
I find men compliment each other on their physique often, but would rarely compliment each others face, with the exception of "nice beard"! It is quite common to be told your looking "big" or look like you've been hitting the gym etc but we would never mention our eyes!

Ive never had an issue with confidence. I did used to compliments from girls, but I think the biggest confidence booster is other purple finding you attractive - that is awesome!
 
spider

spider

CLANG
On Break
Oct 23, 2017
973
Australia
me and all my kind, spiders, are absolutely perfection tbh

dont click if you're not ready for real beauty

but ty OP <3

Zombine said:
I love all of you guys.


As friends.
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heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey <3

John Kowalski said:
I'm ok.

But i make up for it with my wit and extremely funny jokes.
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omg i miss you~

Scarlet Spider said:
I've seen these kinds of posts on Twitter and Facebook where men give words of encouragement to each other regarding life, their outlook on life, or their appearance/confidence. Calling them King, giving them advice, etc. I mostly remember this starting around 2018 where it became more and more normal. Now there's threads like this in 2020. Quite fascinating yet most welcomed.

eUxaoda.gif


You're all beautiful Kings, don't ever put yourself down or I'll find you and slap the back of your head to remind you that you're wonderful.
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wow a fellow spider * ___ *
 
Krauser Kat

Krauser Kat

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,701
TreadTalks said:
I didn't participate in the other thread, so this is just my reaction to this sentiment, in terms of how I receive it personally:

I don't agree. It just feels inaccurate (based on my sense of physical beauty) and touchy-feely and unnecessary. From a physical looks perspective, my face is generally average and my body is obese. I'm not insecure about it, because who cares. Here it feels like "you are beautiful" is being presented as the answer to a negative perception of your physical appearance, but to me the answer is really self-acceptance -- sober, self-aware self-acceptance.
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ugh. The problem is you are prescribing yourself only qualities the masses have deemed ok as beautiful. This thread is to broaden then what we all deem as beautiful. so Yes you are beautiful and its sober to think so and accept yourself as beautiful.

Its okay for us to be touchy feely and associate that as masculine.
 

Deleted member 17643

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,000
I'm not going to lie, I feel like garbage over my appearance all the time. I started lifting over a year and a half ago and lost 50 pounds while upping my strength to very respectable levels (I have a 565 pound deadlift). It's hard to see that progress when you still have a lot of fat around your midsection and nobody would see you in public and think you lift weights.
 
jph139

jph139

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,378
Amnesty said:
You are looking at really limited palette of men I guess
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I mean, I've got about 30 years experience looking at other men, and I've yet to see one that was nice to look at. If you're hiding a colony of good looking ones somewhere I'd be happy to pay them a visit.
 
Beren

Beren

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,520
I have been paid by corporations to model for them, multiple times. A couple of weeks ago a child mistook me for Superman while I was just walking around.

I do not consider myself attractive.

When other people tell me I am, I do not believe them.

It's not healthy, and I hope our culture and society can change this outlook on men's attractiveness.
 
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