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My tinder date just called my haircut gay
- Thread starter DonaldKimball
- Start date
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she was just setting you up to reply with "how can i prove i'm not gay?" and then she was gonna suggest smashing
Like clockwork, point a finger at toxic masculinity and era men get all vocal and up in arms.
Girl calls a dudes haircut gay and all a dude has to say is "being sad about being insulted is more of a turn off than your haircut"
Textbook toxic masculinity. It's pathetic that pointing out something so simple is controversial.
So... the date will remember OP and complain to her friends about his pouty attitude rather than his hair.
I don't follow - she was up front about what she wanted, you assumed you could get something more out of her, so Tinder is the worst? I'm confused.
Also this.
First, OP, that haircut is bad...like terrible bad.
Second, if your dates comments upset you that much then you should have ended the date. What was your plan, i'll pout and be sad and they'll realize they hurt my feelings?
Second, if your dates comments upset you that much then you should have ended the date. What was your plan, i'll pout and be sad and they'll realize they hurt my feelings?
Eh, it can be awkward to end a date. Nothing wrong with him being upset about it. And yeah, what is so unreasonable about her potentially reading that he didn't like the comment and she apologizes for it?
Not sure why people think a good way to start any relationship casual or not is by insulting someone and doing it in a slightly homophobic way at that.
Forget her OP, and forget the onslaught of "Ummm actually you were BOTH wrong, it's your fault too my dude" that the thread is bombarded with and anything you do that makes a shitty person not wanna hang out with you is 9/10 times something completely fine.
Forget her OP, and forget the onslaught of "Ummm actually you were BOTH wrong, it's your fault too my dude" that the thread is bombarded with and anything you do that makes a shitty person not wanna hang out with you is 9/10 times something completely fine.
Yeah, whining about hurt feelings on the internet is oviously the right answer. Jesus some of you have no idea how to deal with people face-to-face.
Interesting that you call it whining. How does somebody not immediately ending a date after getting a bad comment mean they have no idea how to deal with people face to face? It's always so bizarre when people like you here a couple details about a person and basically decide to label them as some sort of socially-dysfunctional wreck. It becomes so obvious how much you're seeking to read the person in a negative light.
I don't know how I would respond to a woman if she said that to me. I guess I would take it as her trying to be funny? This seems like at least maybe part of her sense of humor that I would have picked up on at least.
You're questioning why your tinder date knows what guys on Grindr look like? Probably cause she used it. Sounds like she was trying to be funny as well. If it offended you that much you should've said something instead of sulking for the rest of the night. This seems like an overreaction cause you're insecure about your haircut. If someone doesn't like it say fuck it and end the date and find someone that does.
You should've said her eyebrows were fucked up.
Even if they weren't, you'd have planted the seed of doubt, and she'd be self conscious about it for a bit haha.
Even if they weren't, you'd have planted the seed of doubt, and she'd be self conscious about it for a bit haha.
This is the take!
Using "gay" as an insult or dismissive is dead, kinda sounds like she blew it tbh.
How is that toxic masculinity? Cause people should say something when they're offended? Or because I said they should've ended the date if they were that offended? GTFO here
How the fuck all y'all more mad that he didn't end the date right away (a perfectly normal thing to not do) than the fact that the woman used 'gay' as a pejorative? What she said wasn't funny and is a much bigger deal than him being polite enough to not end the date abruptly.
No I didn't. Man you people on reset era talk such a big game on how people need to stop using these terms, and then when presented with a situation that it happens don't tell the other person that it's offensive and don't correct them. Instead run to a forum to complain about it and hope shit changes? Seriously? If it's so offensive and such a huge problem in society then why stay quiet about it in a real world situation? I said don't sulk about it and actually say that it's offensive. Don't continue a date when something so offensive gets said. You know actually address the issue. But you know what? You're right. Let's run to reset era. That'll solve the issue lol . And oh yes toxic masculinity lol. I'm surely the issue here
You know what women tend to be better at than men when it comes to shit like this? EMPATHY. They can go to their girlfriends and get SUPPORT. They don't have to worry about being scolded for not being man enough to handle a situation and can actually have a constructive conversation about what to do next time.
This thread continues to prove that men tend to lack such empathy. Instead of sympathizing with the OP's situation, acknowledging the issue with what the woman said, reassuring him about his own self-confidence, and encouraging him to try to be less passive about these kinds of situations in the future, many posters here are mocking him and putting all the blame on him for reacting poorly to being insulted. THAT is toxic masculinity and it needs to stop.
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Yup, other than her being rude, that's a red flag in its own right.
So if we're gonna be put in real life situations and not take action then don't complain when it keeps happening. If using the word gay is so offensive to you, yet you fail to stand up and say something about it when it's directed to you then don't complain that the word is offensive to you. Stand up for yourself or stop making endless threads about how it's so offensive. It rings hollow and people just end up looking like keyboard warriors talking to other like minded people. You're not helping to fix the situation. Your complaining about it and then hiding when time comes for action. And explaining further what toxic masculinity is didn't address what I said. I understand what toxic masculinity is. All these posts saying the word is terrible and comforting him is fine. Comfort him all you want. But you're not fixing the actual issue that you're complaining about. You're just making an endless cycle of comforting someone and having them get offended over and over cause they refuse to vocalize why they're getting offended
Actually, empathy can get him in the right direction. It's not like the only point of the conversation is to make him feel better (though sometimes people just need to vent and that's ok). I think it's good to encourage him to speak up in the future, but that doesn't really change the fact that he didn't do it in the past. I'm not sure how you thinking talking down to him is a better approach.
I know you're coming from a good place, but this reeks of splaining on a bunch of levels.
What are you talking about? This is a discussion, I'm laying out my argument... what else am I supposed to do?
EDIT:
If that was a joke it flew right over my head. The internet has broken my brain.
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