I dunno have you considered talking to her.
Yeah she called him an insecure asshole and told him they were pics for him. It's in the first post.
It's cool that you get off on other dudes thirsting for sexy pics of your significant other but you need to realize that not everyone feels the same as you.
Well, it
is a different scenario than that, because she's posting them for herself. Which is to say that you're still allowed to have Complicated Feelings about that, and they need to be talked about.
I'm a deeply monogamous person and I don't think I could be comfortable in this situation, but if it came up and I was really liking the person I was with I would at least see if I could try and feel it out to the best of my abilities.
Alright I appreciate all the comments and different perspectives. It is helpful. I can't respond to every post but you guys are giving me things to think about.
I just want to clarify a couple things.
The guys who came on to her or were sleazy were real life friends, she is no longer actively friends with them but she still has them as friends on social media and will respond friendly if they message, which is rare. If anyone sleazes you her on social media she doesn't engage, she doesn't block, she just ignores it.
She called me an asshole because I said it was bullshit that she posted it just for me. Most of the conversation was calm aside from that. I deserved to be called an asshole. She said I'm insecure, which I admit I am starting to feel insecure.
I try to validate her feeings all the time. I tell her she is beautiful and sexy a lot, but I obviously can't compete with the constant barrage of guys commenting on everything she post telling her how sexy and beautiful she is. She asked why I don't comment on her posts and I told her it's because I tell her in person. She feels like I don't tell her enough.
I trust her and don't think she would ever cheat on me. That doesn't make me any less uncomfortable.
I think you're doing a lot of introspection, and I think it's important for yourself to acknowledge that you don't think this is leading anywhere inappropriate and that your wife isn't ever going to be unfaithful to you, and I think it's a good step for you that you can acknowledge that for yourself that you trust her in that regard, because that speaks to me that you have a clear and abiding trust in her that you don't want to invalidate even in your own head.
But, yeah, it's not a race. You're not gonna tell her she's pretty enough times that she won't want to do it, it's something she wants to do for herself. I don't think you can step it up (which you're saying she thinks you don't say it enough), and if you are feeling, or she is making you feel, that this is occurring because of a failure on your part, that's an issue you need to communicate about.
It's okay for you to feel insecure. You're acknowledging it, and you can work on it, because you're telling us right now that you want to deal with it which means it's something you are willing to make an effort towards. You're not the first person in the universe to undergo some kind of clash like this in a marriage, you can talk this through.
