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My friend has been cheating on his girlfriend, something amusing just happened.
- Thread starter CassCade
- Start date
No i understand that sounds weird.
Now we wait i guess.
From the information i have now he could have ended this sooner. He just was okay with how things went. MAybe i missed other info.
AND stop putting those whiny fucking words in my mouth. I know men can be abused.
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Pretty much. And he needs to think about a real exit strategy. No talk.
Damn, didn't think about that. This is becoming an episode of Fort Boyard now. I hope his friend finds the key, otherwise his girlfriend will probably toss it into the sea.
Women don't usually use phsycial force or threatening violence to intimidate men in these situations. My brother's ex-fiance kept on threatening to kill herself until he finally broke it off with her.
Not saying that's what this woman doing but just an example. And remember this ain't just some person OP's friend had known a month, it's someone whose seemingly been pulling this sort of behaviour for years. That he got back with her like how was described is textbook.
Sure that happens and it's terrible. Bit in this case the story is a bit off imo. They both ended the relationship multiple times so it could have ened long ago. Of course i do not know for sure but we'll have to wait and see.
so that's you and you don't know how to dump her? Leave the apartment yourself
You are acusing an abuse victim of being mentally weak (spineless). Yes, that's what mental abuse does to people, it weakens them mentally. Calling emotionally abused victims weak is victim blaming.
That's not really relevant. If this story was clearly fiction, for example a movie, it would still be wrong to victim blame. Victim blaming is also about perpetuating stereotypes that blame victims. That can also be done with fiction
I agree that's not relevant. Something seems off and there were many other opportunities to end the relationship for good by both people. Maybe the guy is scared and then it's an abusive relationship. Maybe he's a spinless shit and totally okay with her not breaking up having sex with him.
We'll have to wait of this story ever gets an ending.
Don't worry though. The only reason i react to this story this way is because things seem off to me. I don't think men should be ashamed for admitting they are in an abusive relationship.
To me right now it seems more like a silly relationship of two people that don't know things can be different and normal in a relationship. It's a guess. I know.
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Man that's incredibly stupid and should be illegal.
Locks are supposed to keep unwelcome out... Someone who is inside should be welcome to leave at anytime.
Why should a for every require keys to exit. lock/unlock from the inside should be as simple a twist of a knob.
We have a word for it in our country: disaster tourism. People love seeing a glimpse of other people's misery.
Wrapped as deep concern.
Page 1: How dare you call her a psycho
Page 14: Well that was proven true but what about them locks
Where do you live. This is just another day of stories I hear in Florida lol
Whether the story is true or not, I can't help but notice how from certain posters in this thread this has been strictly a men vs women narrative.
Like at first, OP's friend was the real villain for cheating which of course was wrong and manipulative but there were some people easily willing to overlook the manipulative and crazy things the girlfriend was doing and had done, giving her the benefit of the doubt and even praising her for it.
Now that the girlfriend is showing exactly why OP said she was manipulative and crazy, we have similar posts downplaying the abuse and manipulation and I can only guess it's because it's a man being abused by a woman. I don't know why it has to be that the guy is an asshole and it's all his fault. I think they both have serious issues and are in a toxic, abusive relationship that they need to get out of both for their own good. They honestly need to work on themselves away from each other. There doesn't have to be one "villain."
Also you keep saying you know men can be abused but from your posts it seems like you are still struggling with the concept because OP's friend is male. You still seem to think he could've/should've just got out and I'm not sure you'd be that way if the genders were reversed.
Like at first, OP's friend was the real villain for cheating which of course was wrong and manipulative but there were some people easily willing to overlook the manipulative and crazy things the girlfriend was doing and had done, giving her the benefit of the doubt and even praising her for it.
Now that the girlfriend is showing exactly why OP said she was manipulative and crazy, we have similar posts downplaying the abuse and manipulation and I can only guess it's because it's a man being abused by a woman. I don't know why it has to be that the guy is an asshole and it's all his fault. I think they both have serious issues and are in a toxic, abusive relationship that they need to get out of both for their own good. They honestly need to work on themselves away from each other. There doesn't have to be one "villain."
Don't victims of abuse often return to their abusers? If a person is good at manipulating someone and has a certain hold over them, they can probably easily pull them back in if they're still vulnerable even after a relationship has ended. "Why don't you just leave?" is easy to say from the outside looking in. Even then, you've never heard of toxic on-and-off-again relationships?
Also you keep saying you know men can be abused but from your posts it seems like you are still struggling with the concept because OP's friend is male. You still seem to think he could've/should've just got out and I'm not sure you'd be that way if the genders were reversed.
Honestly, the last update made me have doubts. It seemed too... theatric. At this point though, it doesn't really matter to me if it's real or fake. The "hypothetical" situation is still interesting to me just due to the thoughts people have on it, who they think is in the wrong, the double standard when it comes to victim blaming and thoughts on abuse or manipulative behavior in toxic relationships. That discussion is the only reason I'm still engaging with the thread.
hahahaha
My apartment also requires a key to leave so I guess I could also lock someone inside my apartment if I wanted to.
I don't really "believe" anything on the internet; it's all possible or possibly lies.
But none of it matters to me, it's just a discussion. Nothing in this story is impossible, some of it seems improbable.. but whatever,it's a dorky thread.
This is overall pretty close to her giving him a paralyzing agent and setting fire to the place
Yup, against building code in all of Washington State.. explains why I've never seen this. I'm sure they exist, but you'd have to remove them if you wanted to sell or rent your place:
This thread is now about why the fuck this is allowed anywhere else lol
Yep. that happens a lot.
I'm not. But keep trying.
Hypothetically, this could be a case of abuse, yes.
And nobody should be okay with that or think lightely of it.
I have a feeling this is different. That's all.
New update...
So my friend was crawling on all fours with his Gameboy Micro in his mouth (not sure why) when my gf surprised him with pictures of his gf holding photos of his former side chick. All three women were dressed in garb befitting the Antebellum period even though the former side chick warned my gf it might be confusing for my friend. My friend's gf jumped on my friend while he was still on all fours with his Gameboy Micro in his mouth and they both collapsed and had sex (am ashamed of my boy).
At this point my gf tells my friend's former side chick about the nuclear vessels. Apparently the empty spot on his wall where the photo of the former side chick used to be is a hollowed out bit of plaster that leads to a secret entrance into a frigid bay where several nuclear submarines are kept in secret. Each of them is fully armed and painted in the likeness of one of my friend's ex gfs. I told my friend when he told me about the nukes not to go down there with them because it wasn't safe and when my gf tried to pretend there weren't any nukes things got nuclear between us and she had sex with my psychiatrist (even though I asked her not to but she told me I'm crazy and she wants to be with someone more stable even though I pointed out to her that stable people don't supply people with secret nuclear arsenals with physical embraces unless there's emotional connectivity which there wasn't to which my gf said I lost the game and I asked what game and then I realized what she meant and after she left I ate a $30 Italian meal).
It turns out that the nuclear subs are property of a former KGB group who are now mercenaries and my friend's gf is their de facto leader. But at this point I have to admit she's a chess master among chess masters because she hid the keys to the subs inside my friend's considerable scalp so when her former KGB underlings arrived at my friend's apartment she told them they aren't allowed to break up with her (I guess they were planning on giving up the criminal lifestyle in favor of a desk job) and when they got angry and said it was their decision she started crying and everyone had sex all at once including my brother (who I should add is 62 years old and happily married). Everyone slept soundly except him and when he woke up and discovered the nuclear keys inside my friend's considerable scalp he drove all the subs to the Better Business Bureau and turned them in and my friend and my gf and my friend's gf and my friend's former side chick and my friend's gf's former KGB underlings all got arrested and are awaiting trial.
So my friend was crawling on all fours with his Gameboy Micro in his mouth (not sure why) when my gf surprised him with pictures of his gf holding photos of his former side chick. All three women were dressed in garb befitting the Antebellum period even though the former side chick warned my gf it might be confusing for my friend. My friend's gf jumped on my friend while he was still on all fours with his Gameboy Micro in his mouth and they both collapsed and had sex (am ashamed of my boy).
At this point my gf tells my friend's former side chick about the nuclear vessels. Apparently the empty spot on his wall where the photo of the former side chick used to be is a hollowed out bit of plaster that leads to a secret entrance into a frigid bay where several nuclear submarines are kept in secret. Each of them is fully armed and painted in the likeness of one of my friend's ex gfs. I told my friend when he told me about the nukes not to go down there with them because it wasn't safe and when my gf tried to pretend there weren't any nukes things got nuclear between us and she had sex with my psychiatrist (even though I asked her not to but she told me I'm crazy and she wants to be with someone more stable even though I pointed out to her that stable people don't supply people with secret nuclear arsenals with physical embraces unless there's emotional connectivity which there wasn't to which my gf said I lost the game and I asked what game and then I realized what she meant and after she left I ate a $30 Italian meal).
It turns out that the nuclear subs are property of a former KGB group who are now mercenaries and my friend's gf is their de facto leader. But at this point I have to admit she's a chess master among chess masters because she hid the keys to the subs inside my friend's considerable scalp so when her former KGB underlings arrived at my friend's apartment she told them they aren't allowed to break up with her (I guess they were planning on giving up the criminal lifestyle in favor of a desk job) and when they got angry and said it was their decision she started crying and everyone had sex all at once including my brother (who I should add is 62 years old and happily married). Everyone slept soundly except him and when he woke up and discovered the nuclear keys inside my friend's considerable scalp he drove all the subs to the Better Business Bureau and turned them in and my friend and my gf and my friend's gf and my friend's former side chick and my friend's gf's former KGB underlings all got arrested and are awaiting trial.
The only thing I'm trying to do is understand what you're trying to say here.
I'm sorry if I'm misinterpreting what you're saying but you say stuff like "I know men can be abused" then say stuff like "they ended the relationship before so he could've gotten out of this but he hasn't so he's ok with it." Then when I questioned that you say "yeah, I know people can return to abusive relationships." Ok so... why doubt this because it's a relationship that ended then started up again?
It reads like he understands that men can be abused, and that victims of abuse often have trouble getting and staying out of abusive relationships.
What he doesn't understand is that this particular guy was in an abusive relationship, and is having trouble getting and staying out of it.
He also doesn't understand that suggesting the victim should 'just grow a spine and leave' is a classic example of victim blaming.
No i do understand. I just don't think this is the case here. Like i already said.
There i NOTHING you and the other person are saying that i don't understand (or even disagree with).
Aside from the conclusion of this story.
Based on the info. Just like you. We just reach different conclusions. Now i have to work though.
Have fun pointing all kind of fingers and patting yourself on the back all the time.
I enjoyed this. I think if the OP posted it some people would still believe it even though nothing about this thread is believable.
Apparently she wouldn't even need to drug him, just take the key and leave.
I'm trying to understand you because what you say you believe about abuse and what you say about the situation seem contradictory to me. Don't know why you're choosing to be antagonistic with me. Probably is a good idea for you to take a break.
If you don't think it's the case here, then you don't understand.
Entrapping people in a relationship, emotionally and physically, is abuse. It's not a matter of difference of opinion. It's a matter of fact.
Once you can accept that the person in this story has been abused, then to suggest he should have "just grown a spine and left" is victim blaming, period.
No that's obviously an abusive act. Terrible. The whole thing is how the guy himself perceives this. We don't know that yet. Or do we?
That's a really toxic and unhealthy relationship.
Your friend is an asshole for cheating, and his girlfriend sounds like she has some serious insecurity issues to work through.
They don't need to be together. It's unhealthy for both of them.
If he's afraid to leave while she's there, then he needs to pack up his shit and move while she's at work. That's what my mom and sisters did when they left their abusive spouses. It's not easy, to uproot like that, but it's not impossible, and it's necessary. She refuses to break up with him? That's not how it works. She doesn't own him, and can't control him, and vice versa.
Your friend is an asshole for cheating, and his girlfriend sounds like she has some serious insecurity issues to work through.
They don't need to be together. It's unhealthy for both of them.
If he's afraid to leave while she's there, then he needs to pack up his shit and move while she's at work. That's what my mom and sisters did when they left their abusive spouses. It's not easy, to uproot like that, but it's not impossible, and it's necessary. She refuses to break up with him? That's not how it works. She doesn't own him, and can't control him, and vice versa.
Tell him to check the door of the friend's place and see if there's a big NO written in a substance that looks like blood on it.
Wait, no, it would be glow in the dark paint on the ceiling so he sees it when he turns off the light to go to sleep. Also make sure the other woman isn't "missing."
In all seriousness, I hope she gets the help she seems to need.
May the good lord bless you for the updates you have bestown upon us
He needs to cut her out completely. Block her number. It'll hurt but as with everyone who goes through this, he'll gain clarity and sound of mind eventually.
You know, I don't like to post much or drive by but when I see posts like these I get triggered and then feel sadness for people like you because it is clear that you have no friends irl or just simply think everyone behaves according to your way of life. Seriously, do you think it's ok to ask someone why they're friends with another person simply because they do dumb shit? Do you think every relationship is some magical shit where nothing goes wrong and everyone is perfect? I'm not calling you out personally but I am curious as to why you and some others think this way