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My coworker and his everyday gay jokes.

T-Virus

T-Virus

Alt-Account
Banned
Jun 5, 2020
711
Look I'm a straight male and don't have any problem with gays at all but this guy makes gay jokes towards me every fucking day and it's getting tiresome.

Everyday he's telling me how I would like to kiss men, that I have secret boyfriends and blah blah blah.

All I do is look bored and say "Ok dude" . Not even in middle school the jokes were ame.

I'm the type of guy who doesn't give a shit and can take jokes pretty easy but when it's the same shit going for weeks it's annoying.
 

MC-MC

Member
Dec 15, 2017
520
Tell him this isn't acceptable and he needs to quit it or you'll file a complaint.
 
Huncho_Houdini

Huncho_Houdini

Member
Dec 31, 2017
7,099
User warned: inflammatory comments
Breh your coworker is pulling out middle school level shit.


to the point where I think he's into you.

"I bet you would like to kiss MEN! hahahaha...would you?"
 
MrCibb

MrCibb

Member
Dec 12, 2018
5,349
UK
User warned: inflammatory comments
Hah, you want to kiss men! I'm a man. But not me of course, other men. Definitely not me, right? Just other men? Yeah. Good! Phew.

I think you're in there, pal.
 

Deleted member 2779

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,045
Tell him to knock it off and that his jokes aren't funny. I wouldn't put up with that crap for a few days let alone weeks.
 
Hours Left

Hours Left

Member
Oct 26, 2017
18,421
If he won't stop, file a complaint.

Also, let's cut out the "I bet he's actually gay!" tripe. Assuming all homophobes are secretly gay is homophobic.
 
Ricky_R

Ricky_R

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
3,997
I'd say walk right past him and caress his hand. See how he reacts then report back.

Seriously tho, it honestly may be some projecting. Either way, try saying something as it may get even more uncomfortable not only for you, but for the workplace.
 
OhMoveOver

OhMoveOver

Member
Oct 5, 2018
197
Woah with everyone assuming he is gay ? I mean this is the kinda shit my friends who supported me as a gay guy in school had to deal with .
 

Deleted member 44129

User requested account closure
Banned
May 29, 2018
7,690
He is out of order on a number of levels. He's suggesting that "gay" is somehow "lesser" and it's funny to be gay. He's harassing you. He's belittling you.

Unless he's gay, in which it is straight up sexual harassment. If you're laughing along, that's fine, but people need to know when people don't find shit funny.
 
Zombine

Zombine

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,231
like others have said, he's out of line and also potentially into you. I would tell him that it makes you uncomfortable as you are just trying to work, but if he continues you should file a complaint.
 

Deleted member 22750

Oct 28, 2017
13,267
U work with Donnie Azoff

on a serious note.... tell him to shut the fuck up
 
kyle mechlachlan

kyle mechlachlan

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,300
Document every time this happens. Get a track record at least a week's worth. Go to HR and report him and get record of the report as proof. Then if they do nothing - sue the fucking company into the dirt.
 
Dultimate

Dultimate

Member
Oct 27, 2017
652
You have to pull him aside an explain to him in the most serious way possible the reasons it's wrong what he's doing. And not just that it's annoying but the implication that if you were gay it would be a negative is wrong in itself. Let him know if he insists on continuing then you will have no choice but to report him. If he doesn't change after that then you should indeed report him.
 
WhySoDevious

WhySoDevious

Member
Oct 31, 2017
8,459
Please don't attempt to kiss him or caress his hand.

Just tell him to quit it with those types of jokes cause you don't find them funny. If he continues, tell him again and add that you're gonna report it if he does it again.
 
CrankyJay

CrankyJay

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
11,318
Dultimate said:
You have to pull him aside an explain to him in the most serious way possible the reasons it's wrong what he's doing. And not just that it's annoying but the implication that if you were gay it would be a negative is wrong in itself. Let him know if he insists on continuing then you will have no choice but to report him. If he doesn't change after that then you should indeed report him.
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Screw that. It sounds like the harassment is constant. It's not like it's a one off. I would report him anyway.
 
Dultimate

Dultimate

Member
Oct 27, 2017
652
CrankyJay said:
Screw that. It sounds like the harassment is constant. It's not like it's a one off. I would report him anyway.
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The coworker sounds like an asshole but the OP post this because he's not that dude who wants to get someone in trouble or else he would have done it already. I'm suggesting that by speaking with the dude, OP will have cleared his conscience of the repercussions of reporting his coworker. He would have explained how he felt and gave his coworker a chance to correct himself.
 
16bits

16bits

Member
Apr 26, 2019
2,862
T-Virus said:
Look I'm a straight male and don't have any problem with gays at all but this guy makes gay jokes towards me every fucking day and it's getting tiresome.

Everyday he's telling me how I would like to kiss men, that I have secret boyfriends and blah blah blah.

All I do is look bored and say "Ok dude" . Not even in middle school the jokes were ame.

I'm the type of guy who doesn't give a shit and can take jokes pretty easy but when it's the same shit going for weeks it's annoying.
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well its bullying, simply not acceptable in the workplace.
 
RecRoulette

RecRoulette

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
26,044
It's sexual harassment without a doubt. Are you the only one he bothers with that shit or are there other coworkers who get the same "jokes." You should be firm and tell him to knock it off though.
 
Serule

Serule

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,766
This is straight up sexual harassment.
I believe the policy of where I work would be:
1 - tell him to knock it off
2 - if #1 doesnt work or you don't feel safe telling him, escalate to HR
 
Bentendo24

Bentendo24

Member
Feb 20, 2020
5,348
Man, people constantly do this to me. I've even had the housekeeping guy joke around and grab my penis multiple times (he doesn't do it anymore) acting like I like it (I hate it, and it gives me intense anxiety). I really wish I could speak up about it, but my severe anxiety just lets it be. Fuck
 

Deleted member 17388

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
12,994
This wouldn't fly even in junior high school, talk to him and tell him you're about to report him to HR hopefully you don't work for Yves Guillemot
Even if it's a "haha joking unless" situation, that's harassment.
 

Deleted member 21709

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 28, 2017
23,310
He is seriously hitting on you. Also you should report it.

Bentendo24 said:
Man, people constantly do this to me. I've even had the housekeeping guy joke around and grab my penis multiple times (he doesn't do it anymore) acting like I like it (I hate it, and it gives me intense anxiety). I really wish I could speak up about it, but my severe anxiety just lets it be. Fuck
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The housekeeping guy? You should speak to someone - don't worry about calling anyone out yet and causing a scene - but you do need to let someone know this is happening to get perspective on it. It sounds like this could be fueling your anxiety.
 

rras1994

Member
Nov 4, 2017
5,743
Bentendo24 said:
Man, people constantly do this to me. I've even had the housekeeping guy joke around and grab my penis multiple times (he doesn't do it anymore) acting like I like it (I hate it, and it gives me intense anxiety). I really wish I could speak up about it, but my severe anxiety just lets it be. Fuck
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That's assault , I'm really sorry this is happening to you, is there anyone around you you can got to for support? Even just to talk about it?
 
gilded_Pb

gilded_Pb

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,195
This sounds like something my group of friends would do in back in 2000, when we were 12. Is he stuck in that time period or something.
 
Fallout-NL

Fallout-NL

Member
Oct 30, 2017
6,724
Sit him down, talk to him, explain to him this is one of three things: homophobia, sexual harrassment or bullying. Tell him he either stops or you file a complaint.
 
jaekeem

jaekeem

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,743
You should give them a stern warning and report it if they don't listen, imo.

Imagine if you saw them talking to a coworker this way. It's completely unprofessional and also reprehensible/sexual harassment.
 
Threadkular

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
2,419
This kind of "joking" was extremely common where I grew up - conservative Catholic area. Existed at Penn State too. When I came to the DC area I met new people and just never seemed to come across it as much.

My passive aggressive approach was eventually to just be like "sure I'm gay" and not let it bother me. Honestly after gaining enough knowledge it didn't, but it sucked when I still had internalized some of those Catholic beliefs.

I just always hoped kids and adults too wouldn't have to deal with that shit anymore. I was born in 83.

Edit: while I suppose someone doing this could be closeted, I think it's generally just a sign of insecurity. I knew a guy who couldn't admit if one man (e.g. Jimmy Garappolo) was more attractive than another (e.g. Jim Jordan). I guess that's toxic masculinity.
 
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FaceHugger

FaceHugger

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
13,949
USA
This is unfortunately common in my age range. I grew up in the late 90's so "gay jokes" were extremely common.

So now we're all damn near middle age and should know better, but there's still always that one asshole making the gay jokes in the office. And they still don't get fired, even in this day and age.
 
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