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Moments early in a movie that telegraph exactly how shit the movie is going to be
- Thread starter AuthenticM
- Start date
Of course this thread turned into a Star Wars pissing match.
It always turns into a Star Wars pissing match.
It always turns into a Star Wars pissing match.
A really great point. If it had fulfilled all of our expectations of what the scene would be, what kind of arc would Luke have had? "Hey, the Jedi Temple burned down and I self-exiled myself to a planet so far in the Outer Rim that you'd have to spend decades working to find me. You did all that though, so here's a glass or warm blue milk and a cookie. Your training begins tomorrow."
User Banned (3 Days): Antagonizing another user; prior ban for the same
When bad posters like Ishida are involved it was inevitable
I watched The Black Dahlia recently, trying to fill in the gaps in my De Palma knowledge, and literally the moment Josh Hartnett croaks out his first line of vocal-fry voiceover narration I knew it was going to be a bad time. He's not the only problem with that movie, but he is a huge black mark against it and having to listen to his awful voice all the way through it is a miserable experience.
How is it not irony? The Last Jedi was clearly trying to put too much meaning into a trilogy that was clearly only intended to retread the events of the original trilogy with some modifications. It was clearly trying to make Star Wars feel more contemporary by invoking contemporary problems, and it did so at the expense of pacing. Not that The Force Awakens didn't have its pacing problems, but The Last Jedi was absolutely abysmal in terms of pacing, and that's due to the fact that someone in charge was taking the series too seriously and trying to ensure it made a statement. Problem is, that statement wasn't even close to being core to the experience; it was relegated to a side story that stomped the pacing of the movie further into the ground after the slowest chase in sci-fi history dragged the pacing to ground level.
I didn't see it, but more than once I'd heard people say they heard laughter/mockery in their theater the moment this showed up:
And that's literally the start of the movie.
(The Mummy 2017, for those wondering.)
And that's literally the start of the movie.
(The Mummy 2017, for those wondering.)
Star Wars characters don't have moms so such jokes wouldn't exist in continuity. All SW characters fall fully formed from George Lucas's meaty asshole and thus have only a father.
I usually don't have a good feeling if a movie takes 20 minutes to setup the rest and it's only a 90 minute runtime. I saw a horror movie that started opening credits after twenty minutes and it was not a good movie. I've since become suspicious of movies that do that.
While a cringy line. The rest of the movie isn't horrible.Here's another one, and what do you know, it's also from Star Wars!
"I don't have people. I'm alone".
"Hmm.. Han... Solo..."
Me:
It's a unnecessary movie, but done okay.
The stereotypical Asian accents of the Neimoidians in The Phantom Menace were my first indication that something had gone very wrong.
Best Star Wars movie, stay mad about it.
Best Star Wars movie, stay mad about it.
I didn't see it, but more than once I'd heard people say they heard laughter/mockery in their theater the moment this showed up:
And that's literally the start of the movie.
(The Mummy 2017, for those wondering.)
Yep. What a shitty ride.
"The movie event of the century" they said
I actually thought the opening of TPM was quite bad ass with Qui Gon and the door melting bit but then this hits and it's was like "ohhhhh .... shit".
I actually thought the opening of TPM was quite bad ass with Qui Gon and the door melting bit but then this hits and it's was like "ohhhhh .... shit".
It could have been cool if they actually planned it and the second movie ended with his broadcast being heard, instead of it appearing in Fortnite.
Joining in on the TLJ discussions: the movie itself is an irony because the entire film was based on how plans and expectations never quite work out the way we want them to. The idea behind the film was great, but the execution was so poor. Zero focus with pacing issues throughout.
Like sure, I understand the writers and the director wanting to tie in every character so they can each see through this theme, but sometimes that's not a good idea. Movies have a limited runtime, and making an excessively long movie beating a theme like a dead horse multiple times is self-indulgent in every sense of the word.
And this is coming from someone that actually liked TLJ in the theatres, but I distinctly remember several times in the movie where I thought 'why is this movie still going?'
I think you're mixing up Predator (1987), a beloved sci-fi action film with The Predator (2018) a deeply reviled and hated movie. Which I don't blame you for, it's a stupid title.
This is actually an awesome answer. Fuck Alien 3.
The ultimate example. This one's so bad, that I actually like the fact that Colonial Marines retconned Hicks' death. I should not like anything about Colonial Marines.
The irony is, The Last Jedi has an absolutely dreadful scene very early on (Poe's crank calling) that would be perfect for this discussion, but as usual, people horny for Luke Skywalker can't accept a scene that instantly translates a ton about his personality, lol
Man of Steel's opening on Krypton.
I think it's actually a well-regarded sequence, but when I first saw it I sort of had a concerned feeling about the rest of the film. The pacing was wild between the failed coup, Zod's banishment, and then the destruction of Krypton. Plus the weird bit about Superman having blueprints to the Kryptonian race merged into his bones or whatever. It was all so much and on top of that it was totally colorless and self-serious.
I think it's actually a well-regarded sequence, but when I first saw it I sort of had a concerned feeling about the rest of the film. The pacing was wild between the failed coup, Zod's banishment, and then the destruction of Krypton. Plus the weird bit about Superman having blueprints to the Kryptonian race merged into his bones or whatever. It was all so much and on top of that it was totally colorless and self-serious.
Sad that Neill Blomkamp's Alien sequel, which was set to feature an older Hicks and Ripley, retconning Alien 3, was cancelled because Ripley Scott wanted to make Covenant.
When JP3 came out it was back in a time when movie releases were significantly later in the UK than the US, and I was too eager to see a new JP that I shamefully admit I downloaded it.You set to watch a movie, either at the theater or at home. You got your snacks and your drink. You're comfy, ready to have a good time. You start the movie.
For a short moment, everything is well. But not long after, something happens: your moviegoer instinct flares up in alert. "Oh no", you tell yourself. "I might have made a mistake. I think this movie might end up being bad." You try to shake the feeling away, resolute in not being a pessimist. Unfortunately for you, you were right: the movie ends up being bad.
Let's talk about those moments early on in a movie that lets you know that it's going to be shit.
My moment happened almost twenty years ago. I was in my teens, naive and hopeful. I was anticipating this movie for months. It came out while I was away on a trip with my family. All I could think of was getting back home to watch this movie. The trip was a distraction, a hindrance. I didn't want any part of it. All I wanted was the movie.
When I got back home, I went to see the first showing I could. I bought some popcorn and a soda, settled in my seat, convinced that I was about to have a great time.
Not even five fucking minutes into the movie, this happens:
This is the opening scene of Jurassic Park 3. I was 14 when I saw it, and yet, I could tell, right then and there at that moment, that I was about to watch a terrible movie.
Jurassic Park 3 ended being a bad movie. Weak plot, bad characters and unexciting set pieces. The movie has a quality level of a direct-to-dvd regurgitation, but with better special effects than those movies. It was a hard disappointment for my younger self, who loved the first two movies, as well as dinosaurs in general.
Twenty years later, it's still a bad movie.
However, unlike you my denial about how bad JP3 was lasted longer than the first scene. Until I ultimately got to see it in the cinema I flat out refused to believe I'd watched the actual final cut of the movie - like I'd downloaded some shitty pre-post version or something. I was very wrong.
I dunno. I think everyone can agree that that moment is the one, just not what it means for the movie.
This really is a perfect example, even though I like TLJ, you can immediately tell from this moment the tone of the rest of the movie and whether its going to click with you or not.
William Gibson's script got adapted into a decent comic a few years back. It's worth a read. In his story, Hicks and Bishop are the protagonists, with Ripley and Newt actually getting to return to Earth together in the opening.
I don't think TLJ is shit, but I did get a sinking feeling during the opening crawl. "The FIRST ORDER reigns!" I think was the opening. Give that we knew before TLJ came out that it literally takes place minutes after TFA ends, this makes zero sense. The First Order has reigned since when? Like an hour ago when they blew up Hosnian Prime? Reign is not the appropriate word to use there, and I feel like Johnson was trying to make it seem like more time had passed since TFA when it hadn't, and I didn't particularly like that. Finn waking up from his coma just a couple hours after being injured, yet Poe comes rushing in saying he must have a million questions even though he's only been out for a short time. Stuff like that doesn't sit right with me.
Can't believe I forgot this one. The whole premise of an egg being on-board the ship in the cryo deck was preposterous.
Coming here and seeing all the clowns posting the lightsaber scene after reading this article is giving me the worst whiplash in the world.
Oh no, Luke didn't treat the magic laser stick with enough reverence. It's so important to him that he didn't bring it with him.
I really like how every time a TLJ argument crops up, it ends up going the same route of two or more people clearly knowing they're on completely different sides of an issue that's been debated to death, they both know they're not going change each other's minds, yet still decide to engage each other anyway in a long series of sniping at each other that takes a larger and larger part of whatever discussion they took over.
Wait, no, I used the wrong word, hate, I really hate every time that happens.
Although I guess while I'm here on Star Wars: the classical example of being introduced to Jar Jar Binks in The Phantom Menace. Like honestly the first opening section of it is like, Fine, even if it's a bit shaky compared to the previous films and has memeable moments, it still manages a basic set up one could see themselves getting invested in. Innocent planet's getting invaded, the cause is from another shadowy player unknown to our heroes, it's a pretty ok action escape sequence, etc.
And then Mr. Binks shows up and that sinking feeling that you're gonna have a bad time slams you in the face as you realize this was looked at during filming, and editing, and at multiple times throughout, people went "Yeah, this is fine", even if some of it's just going be the result of people not wanting (or feeling they don't have the standing) to say no to George Lucas even if you really wish someone had done so.
Wait, no, I used the wrong word, hate, I really hate every time that happens.
Although I guess while I'm here on Star Wars: the classical example of being introduced to Jar Jar Binks in The Phantom Menace. Like honestly the first opening section of it is like, Fine, even if it's a bit shaky compared to the previous films and has memeable moments, it still manages a basic set up one could see themselves getting invested in. Innocent planet's getting invaded, the cause is from another shadowy player unknown to our heroes, it's a pretty ok action escape sequence, etc.
And then Mr. Binks shows up and that sinking feeling that you're gonna have a bad time slams you in the face as you realize this was looked at during filming, and editing, and at multiple times throughout, people went "Yeah, this is fine", even if some of it's just going be the result of people not wanting (or feeling they don't have the standing) to say no to George Lucas even if you really wish someone had done so.
I don't give up on movies early on, but I can join on the Star Wars train with the moment when I knew the entire sequel trilogy would be garbage.
It was in TFA when (I don't know why I'm spoiling this) Kylo killed Han. That scene was what killed my interest in Star Wars. I knew that after that scene there was no way the ST could have a satisfactory ending for me (Kylo killed Han for no reason, so I didn't want to see him redeemed and an ending that had him redeemed would displease me. He was also Han and Leia's son, so I didn't want him dead, so an ending that saw him die would displease me. He was a villain, so I wanted to see him punished, so an ending in which he got away rather than dying or being redeemed would displease me.) From what I've heard, that saved me from seeing some terrible movies that came out after it
It was in TFA when (I don't know why I'm spoiling this) Kylo killed Han. That scene was what killed my interest in Star Wars. I knew that after that scene there was no way the ST could have a satisfactory ending for me (Kylo killed Han for no reason, so I didn't want to see him redeemed and an ending that had him redeemed would displease me. He was also Han and Leia's son, so I didn't want him dead, so an ending that saw him die would displease me. He was a villain, so I wanted to see him punished, so an ending in which he got away rather than dying or being redeemed would displease me.) From what I've heard, that saved me from seeing some terrible movies that came out after it
When Sam Smith's falsetto kicked in for the intro song to Spectre. God, it was dreadful to hear. The fact that it was allowed to be in its final state tipped me that I was, perhaps, not in for a great movie.
That idea is like half the problem with JJ Abrams. Seen the same flaws his whole career. Things are important in a movie because they are important to the fans outside the movie and no effort is made to establish that importance in the film itself. Like the Khan reveal in Into Darkness means nothing to the characters but the film treats it with reverence because we the audience know it's like a thing in a different movie. Anakin's lightsaber is lost at Bespin and magically found again for really no reason and with no explanation and then placed on a pedestal for no reason other than for the audience to go googly eyed over. TLJ really cleaned up a lot of that and all the answer-less mystery boxes but then Abrams just hamfisted them back in, even the lightsaber, so here we are.
I was in denial of the Fortnite thing when I heard about it and the movie fucking slaps you in the face with it at the start.
Was the Morgan Freeman science lecture bit of Lucy near the start? If so, that. Look, it's science fiction, it doesn't need to align with reality. But the approach they took just felt so dumb, I'd have just skipped all that and hidden the awful 'science' from the viewer, focus on the effect and not the cause.