Unfortunately, far too many men are more than comfortable saying such things in person. And no, they don't tend to get their ass beat.
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Milana Vayntrub (The AT&T Girl) responded on Instagram Live to the sexist memes targeting her
- Thread starter Teh_Lurv
- Start date
It's hard to imagine it getting better. The mindset of people are a product and as long as you watch their ad or pay them $5 you can say anything you want to them isn't gonna go away.
tbh I almost made this thread two days ago but didn't because I was afraid of comments about how attractive she is and stuff. My one friend did it when it was first mentioned before I linked him an article describing the whole situation. Fortunately he walked it back but that kind of thing happens way too much and its frustrating
glad to see this thread isn't like that :)
glad to see this thread isn't like that :)
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Horrible. I hope she's not listening to that "don't give them power over you" garbage at the end. One of the bravest things you can do in a situation like this is say "Hey, that hurts my feelings." That simple statement can absolutely stun people. Because then they can't abstract those feelings anymore.
That video was really hard to get through. :(
Comments about "milk" is so sexist and dehumanizing, and it makes me sick that people would so easily throw that at someone. It especially hurt as she clearly lets them know how much it hurts her and they keep fucking going.
Comments about "milk" is so sexist and dehumanizing, and it makes me sick that people would so easily throw that at someone. It especially hurt as she clearly lets them know how much it hurts her and they keep fucking going.
The thing is, people like this aren't forgetting that they can actually affect someone. That's the entire point. They know that what they're doing is causing pain and discomfort to someone. They enjoy that part. And in the case of men like this, they enjoy the fact that they have some kind of power over a woman by hurting her with their words and emojis and other bullshit. It's fucking gross. That video was heartbreaking to watch, and I don't think I've ever wanted to strangle someone through the internet more than I did the people spamming emojis and "lols" while she was pouring her heart out and being vulnerable.
It may be nice to think that these people are only behaving this way because of the anonymity of the internet, but these people carry this mentality with them everywhere, not just online. It filters into how they perceive and interact with people in the real world. The line between IRL and "internet persona" isn't as stark a line as we try to convince ourselves so we can rationalize shitty behavior online. These men behaving this way are pieces of shit. Period. They may feel more emboldened to say the shit they say online, but they no doubt carry that misogyny with them in their offline lives.
read what people are saying in this thread
Would You Support a Law Requiring Real Names For Social Media Accounts? News
No, I can't see this ever happening either. And while I realize there would be drawbacks, I personally feel that the benefits would far outweigh the downsides. But maybe I've not thought about this. What say you, could requiring real names be a key step in unfucking social media or would it be...
www.resetera.com
It was a tough video to watch, but she does nail all these issues with the way social media is structured right now. All the shitty dogpiling and shock jocking for internet points. Social media is setup to further ecourage the dogpiling. I mean, I finished the video, then the next one that auto-played was someone featuring the "milker" comments making fun of the situation acting like they were a CFO from ATT. Let's just nuke it all and start over.
Bullying can leave such serious lasting mental scars on people. And for what, some dumb jokes? You have to imagine these are some seriously emotionally immature people, but sadly that doesn't change how hurtful it is to get barraged like that.
We need harsh punishment for people posting nasty shit to her. That's the only to fix the assholes of the internet.
OP
OP
I was also on the fence about making this thread, I was a bit worried it would only signal boost the wrong kind of attention.
She's a beautiful and attractive woman, but behaviour like that towards her is simply unacceptable. I hope it'll eventually calm down and get better.
Also educate me on Squirrel Girl, I've never heard of that character before?
Also educate me on Squirrel Girl, I've never heard of that character before?
I don't see how anyone in the public eye maintains a social media presence or even checks the internet without losing their minds. If I were in that position, I would be completely disconnected. I feel badly for her.
The best thing Marvel has put out in years. Award-winning comic for a good reason.
And she was the voice of her in Marvel Rising, and was going to play her in a live-action pilot. She's perfect for it.
Squirrel Girl is a Marvel comic book character. Milana voices her in recent Marvel shows.
What should we (and by we I mean men) do about this?
Is this a comment/chat moderation issue? Or can we fix this behavior by no longer commenting on the appearance of others, but more specifically women?
Is this a comment/chat moderation issue? Or can we fix this behavior by no longer commenting on the appearance of others, but more specifically women?
The best thing Marvel has put out in years. Award-winning comic for a good reason.
And she was the voice of her in Marvel Rising, and was going to play her in a live-action pilot. She's perfect for it.
Yeah, I got that she's a comic book character, but what's her powers? Can she like control squirrels or something? I need to look into this.
I like this. That was a surprisingly fun poke at the Spider-Man theme.
One of my old bosses had a wife and multiple girlfriends at the time. Every morning before work he would park at the beach and stare at women. I'm talking ultra-creeper, intense, unbroken stares that went on for minutes. He also referred to women as "whores" at least 2/3s of the time he was in all-male company.
The ability to say someone is attractive in a respectful way isn't lost on us.
However the use of words like milkers....come on.
We can say someone is beautiful without objectifying them.
Yeah, this shit is completely vile. I hope she's not too affected by all of this, she seems to be handling it as well as anybody in her situation reasonably could.
Also, she better show up as Squirrel Girl in the MCU.
Also, she better show up as Squirrel Girl in the MCU.
Also, if you do find someone physically attractive, you don't have to verbalize everything about them that you like, or say/type anything at all about their looks in most situations.
This was heartbreaking to watch. Brazil is sexist as fuck, but I feel that USA is even worse. The way those people kept objectifying her on her face is just another level of brutal, and while I have seen similar things happening here, not at the same level I've just witnessed. Instagram should step in and mass ban everyone who did that to her.
Wow, didn't know she had been voicing Squirrel Girl. Would be cool if a live action role actually kicks off with her in the role. Would be a fun opposite role of a Deadpool film actually.
Hate that she has to go through all of that. Shouldn't be difficult to know how wrong it is to treat (or think) of people that way. Hell, just don't even comment on someone's body or attractiveness unsolicited.
Hate that she has to go through all of that. Shouldn't be difficult to know how wrong it is to treat (or think) of people that way. Hell, just don't even comment on someone's body or attractiveness unsolicited.
Agreed, easiest thing to do is just nothing.
Personally I rarely ever compliment people on looks. But if the fit is popping....
I cannot conceive of a way to prevent this from happening. It's unfortunately what the internet does, magnifies the ugly side of humanity and its not even like women can escape this treatment in the real world either. its such an ingrained flaw and the world is such a rotten place that even teaching your sons to have more respect and arming women with the ability and the fortitude to push back when they're pushed probably wont be enough. You can't culturally wipe hundreds of years of patriarchal conditioning. You live, survive and punch back as much as you can.
My wife was a cashier at Walmart. She came home one day and told me about how everyone must really like her line because she always has one.
One day I go through her line and politely explained my view... I got a reasonable chuckle, she got reasonably frustrated.
What a slaughter.
theres some twitch streams with thousands of viewers that get so little sexism due to moderation but of course changing how you behave can help(and will fix it if everyone does ofc). Of course referring to a girl's boobs at all shouldn't happen but beyond that its a more vague "don't be creep".
The simplest description id describe is only compliment things they have control of like "I like how you did your hair," "your nails look cool," "what brand is your shirt, it looks very nice," "she made a nice choice in lipstick." Those sorts of compliments I feel like women tend to tell each other and generally come across as more friendly and less pushy or objectifying. Ofc it can vary with how you do it hence "don't be a creep." (these kinds of compliments might come across as effeminate but fuck anyone who thinks that way)
And ofc the easiest thing is just don't comment on a women's appearance. Its never necessary to do so and while in some cases it can brighten someone's day, it does no harm to just leave them alone.
Hurting is the point for some men. They don't want to look at a woman, anyone can do that; they want to inform here she exists for his consumption and that's all she is to him. Makes a small man feel big.
Queer women can do it too but it's less common because we know how that shit feels.
I totally get where you're coming from, but I think calling it a flaw is underselling the whole thing. It's a choice. Like, literally, men have a choice to open their stupid mouths or not, and they choose to open their stupid mouths and spout this shit at women unsolicited. They feel entitled to it, and that's it's totally fine for them to treat women that way, or speak to them that way. I was raised in a bigoted, racist, conservative city. I carried a lot of that with me until I got the hell away from that place and experienced the world, and it challenged my worldview and was the best thing to happen to me. I was married to a woman that taught me so much about the struggles that women experienced in this country, and it opened my eyes about many things I was blind and ignorant to, and through our shared experience of being undervalued and mistreated (me, for my ethnicity, her, for her gender), I like to think we both grew as people, even if, in the end, our marriage didn't work out.
As a person of color, having allies call out and push back against this type of abhorrent behavior towards my people is nothing but helpful, so I imagine that women wouldn't mind having men calling out other men (including friends and family), that have such gross views when it pops up. The onus shouldn't always be on the oppressed to change the hearts of the oppressor. A lot of that change has to come from within, not just individually, but as a community. Men need to challenge men to be better men, just as much as women need to challenge men to be better men. We need to work together to enact change.
Sure, we have generations of patriarchal conditioning, but it's not an insurmountable task to stop allowing that conditioning to take root in those around us, or in the children we raise. Women have been speaking out about this shit for decades and decades. Instead of men getting defensive and plugging their ears and going "lalalalala, not all men," etc, etc, we should actually fucking listen, empathize, and fight alongside them to chip away at the rampant misogyny, sexism, and outright hatred of women that many of us let slide, especially if it's coming from our loved ones (family or friends). As has been shown time and time again, people are more inclined to listen to men (and white men, at that), when it comes to actually pausing and reconsidering their stance. In the instance of racism, a lot of bigots and racists may take a second look at their views if the person calling them out on it looks like them. I imagine it's the same with sexism.
Men have shown they aren't listening to women, so I imagine it's like screaming into the void when time and time again, women speak out and say, "hey, this shit isn't cool. stop it." But if it were a man calling out another man on their shitty behavior, it may, at the least, give them pause enough to reflect, especially if they think their friendship/relationship with you is in jeopardy because of they're behavior. I've definitely had to call out a few former friends on that shit, and the reason why they're former friends is because some of them refused to self reflect, and were therefore not the kind of people I wanted to associate with, with some actually did realize what fucking dipshits they were, and worked to improve and be better. Those people are still in my life.
This just resurfaced on some streaming/tv service called Dust (I think they have the first two episodes up on Youtube).
Conner Leslie/Wondergirl from Titans is also in it.