So as a kid growing up in hillbilly America, I was yelled at/spanked by my parents when I did something "wrong", and they often "playfully made fun of me" as they put it. Now I didn't have it 1% as bad as children who grew up in outright abusive homes, and my parents will tell you that I turned out fine as I have a successful marriage, family and halfway decent career, but I didn't. Not on the inside, anyways.
Because of that fear of violent punishment I grew to lowkey fear my father to the point where I withdrew from and avoided him until I was halfway through college. I also did my best to avoid any kind of attention from both parents as I learned quickly that if they were paying attention to me, there was a good chance I was going to be punished somehow either via "gentle mocking" or spanking/smacking, or being otherwise grounded for no reason. So I basically have an extremely weak connection to my parents now, who in their older age have mellowed out considerably and want to get closer to me and my wife/kids. But that foundation of trust/support that SHOULD be there isn't, and I don't think it ever will be now.
Their bad parenting has actually made me a better parent in the sense that I never want to put my kids through that. But when my kids fuck up and don't listen or get defiant (they aren't even in grade school yet) there is always that tiny urge to spank them because my parents conditioned me to believe that violence is a solution even though I know how fucked up it is.
Basically shit you do to your kid even when they are 3 or 4 can and will have long-lasting repercussions.
www.npr.org
