Married ERA - how much did you spend on an engagement ring?

[HamSandwich]

Looking to propose to my gf of 5 years within the next few weeks. I've been wanting to do this for a while, but major life changes always scare me lol. Finally I've decided to get off my butt and do something about it.

I've been looking around different places and I've seen stuff like "3 months salary", which imo sounds completely made up and complete BS. I have been thinking around the range of $1.5-3k. She doesn't want to have a wedding and would rather save for a house, which leads me to believe that she won't want something too expensive. Her tastes are very similar to mine as well, old fashion, minimalistic, etc.

I know I probably should discuss this with her, but I really want it to be a surprise. This whole process seems overwhelming to me.

Thanks!

In b4 $3.50.

 

[Dr. Zoidberg]

I don't remember. I was relatively poor at the time (finishing college) and I think it was between $1500 and $2000? That was in 1998 or 99.

As for the surprise bit, my wife picked hers out, LOL. She is both pragmatic and very picky so this was to her liking. I kept the ring and she didn't know how or when I would propose, though. It all worked out.

 

[Cam]

Recently engaged, got exactly what she wanted for under 3k

 

[Finale Fireworker]

My partner asked me not to spend more than $1,000, which I adhered to as best as I could while still picking something I liked.

 

[Jamesways]

First one was around 5k. She lost it. Didn't buy her a new one for years.
Second one was 7k I think.

We're divorced. LOL

Yes, don't spend a ton on the big day when you can use that for a house. That's a regret I have, she wanted a big wedding, and she got it. It was way more than the down payment on our first house.

Good luck!

 

[Westonian]

1999 - I was a broke ass college student and spent $500. She didn't care and we've been happily married for 22 years and counting.

 

[FliX]

We didn't have engagement rings but spent about 20 bucks on steel wedding bands.
My partner promptly lost hers a year later 😂

 

[Rocketz]

$4.5K

Do what you can afford. Don't break your wallet. Remember you still have wedding bands to come later(if you so choose) besides the wedding itself.

 

[Bunta]

If she knows the proposal is coming, my opinion is to consult with her for what she wants.

I spent on the higher end based on what I wanted to get her. She gave me ideas for design and would have been happier with a smaller diamond, but I went bigger.

 

[adj_noun]

It was like $300. We didn't have much.

She picked it out, still wears it to this day.

 

[QuigleyMcShine]

I think a little over $1k. Three months salary is absurd. Don't do that.

 

[Watevaman]

$550 ish. It was an estate sale ring and its been appraised for about $3k.

 

[littledipster]

She picked out the style from the website she liked (trendy website with """""ethical diamonds"""") and let me pick the diamond. I chose something graded highly and just under 1 carat and spent something like $4.5k. She loves it and gets complimented it all the time and to be honest I've never regretted spending that much on it. God knows I spend money on dumber, less important things for myself

 

[SuperHans]

Get a cheapish stand in ring and then have her pick out the real one she wants after she says yes.

 

[Valus]

Around $4K. She dropped it in the garbage disposal and destroyed it. The diamonds fell out and we retrieved some of them but the damage was done.

I haven't bought a replacement yet. Not sure how much I should spend!

 

[MazeHaze]

I proposed over the weekend, I spent $450, the ring was on special though it was normally $950 probably on sale because it was atypical for an engagement ring (gemstone, rose gold, teardrop, etc) but also happened to be the exact type of ring she wanted, so good for me. She didn't want me to spend more than $1000 because she loses everything lol.

 

[Superpupperbabysassy]

$3,700. It's an nice ring that put the prettiest smile on my wife when she tried it on. My recommendation would be going with her to the jewelry store and discuss what you're comfortable with.

 

[IggyChooChoo]

Moissanite gems are really pretty and relatively cheap compared to diamonds, and are artificial. I'd be looking at them if I were buying a ring today.

 

[Kraid]

I spent like $1.50.

 

[BWoog]

Luckily, my grandmother left me her engagement ring which is much MUCH nicer and much MUCH more expensive than what I could have afforded at the time.

 

[Bunta]

Around $4K. She dropped it in the garbage disposal and destroyed it. The diamonds fell out and we retrieved some of them but the damage was done.

I haven't bought a replacement yet. Not sure how much I should spend!

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Insurance! It's not really that expensive and if you pick the right company, it covers everything.

 

[Deleted member 5876]

I'm not married. Nor have I tried to get engaged before. However, my thoughts are that you should invite her along to pick it out. My ignorant view would be that she would appreciate and remember fondly the act of both of you looking for and picking out a wedding ring more than the wedding ring itself.

 

[Caped Baldy]

$1800, or $2100 in 2022 dollars.

Simple solitaire diamond. I asked her to help pick it out, and the price was more than reasonable. We both agreed that it would be cool if we could upgrade the ring for one of our anniversaries.

So my advice would just be, spend what you're comfortable spending now. If you're both on the same wavelength, it won't even be a thought.

 

[DontHateTheBacon]

Never spend outside your means. You love the person, they love you, it's all good. If you make more money down the line you can always upgrade that bad boy.

 

[Dervius]

Got engaged three months ago

Ignore the three months salary thing, among my friends we've had dramatically different approaches.

One of my friends didn't want an engagement ring, another wanted an emerald ring (which was far cheaper) and the last got a family heirloom type ring.

I spent a little over £6.2k, which meant I didn't have to compromise on anything I wanted in the ring (cut, colour, clarity etc.).

It was the biggest purchase I've ever made, but I don't regret it at all as she gets compliments on it constantly which she loves.

Choose what feels right to you and your partner. Of you'd rather put all that into travelling or a house, do that I stead

There's no right answer.

 

[Friggz]

i spent 7k in 2010. At that point in my life, it was pretty much everything in my savings account. My wife and i laugh about it now becuase we are in a better financial situation. but she wasnt happy i went overboard with it.

 

[Laephis]

Honestly, too much. I wish I had known more about the manipulative scam that surrounds the engagement ring industry, especially diamonds. Would have done something drastically different, but it was 20 years ago.

 

[Decado]

I used my grandmother's wedding ring diamond and my wife and I went to a place to get a custom ring made. Turned out so well they ended up using it as one of their showcase designs.

Cost around 2k CAD.

 

[bmdubya]

Like $100? I got it from a website where you buy jewelry from artists in central American countries, so I bought one of those. We'd been together for 11 years at that point and she didn't want a diamond or anything like that.

 

[HamSandwich]

Thanks everyone for your replies so far! Been really helpful

She picked out the style from the website she liked (trendy website with """""ethical diamonds"""") and let me pick the diamond. I chose something graded highly and just under 1 carat and spent something like $4.5k. She loves it and gets complimented it all the time and to be honest I've never regretted spending that much on it. God knows I spend money on dumber, less important things for myself

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Yeah I've been thinking about getting the lab grown stuff for ethical reasons. I've thought the same to myself as well, I've spent so much on video game hardware and other hobbies, I really shouldn't be finicky on something like this.

I proposed over the weekend, I spent $450, the ring was on special though it was normally $950 probably on sale because it was atypical for an engagement ring (gemstone, rose gold, teardrop, etc) but also happened to be the exact type of ring she wanted, so good for me. She didn't want me to spend more than $1000 because she loses everything lol.

Click to shrink...

Congrats to you! Hopefully it wasn't as nerve-racking haha. I'm in the same boat, except I'm the one that loses everything.

Get a cheapish stand in ring and then have her pick out the real one she wants after she says yes.

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I was thinking of doing something like this, except ill just grab one I pick and if she wants to return it, we can go together for an exchange.

 

[sangreal]

I've been looking around different places and I've seen stuff like "3 months salary", which imo sounds completely made up and complete BS.

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It's literally made up by DeBeers. It is a marketing campaign they've been pushing since the 1930s (well, it was 1 month back then and 2 in the 80s but inflation you know)

 

[Zissou]

We didn't have engagement rings but spent about 20 bucks on steel wedding bands.
My partner promptly lost hers a year later 😂

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I'm in a similar boat. I got a cheap silicone ring for myself, lost it and bought a second one, lost the second one, and now have a silver ring (still inexpensive, looks nicer). My wife has a nicer ring (gold band) but it wasn't too bad (a few hundred dollars). Spending thousands on wedding bands is crazy to me lol

 

[AstralTurfWarrior]

About a hundred euros. It's a simple but beautiful golden ring.

 

[exodus]

Around $2K/cad for a 2.25 carat equivalent moissanite ring.

For my own wedding band, $15 titanium ring from Amazon.

 

[StrangeRoboMemory]

2k CAD for a lab-grown diamond ring. We went to the place together and she picked out what she liked best. She loves it, it was money well-spent.

 

[Orbis]

We both got the same one, £60 each from Amazon. Titanium and silver with tiny diamonds set into it (0.15ct).

 

[EJS]

I think like 6K. It's appraised for much more, so I lucked out there. My wife loves it, so that's all that matters.

 

[Raide]

Spend whatever you feel comfortable spending. You should know your intended, so if you need to spend money to get what you want, you will have to burn the cash.

Some are happy with semi precious stones and making something unique, some want a diamond and nothing else matters. Figure all this out before you propose lol

 

[OrakioRob]

Very, very little ^_^

We were super in love and really wanted to be together, but I had very little money at the time, so I bought the cheapest ring I could find (yeah, it was suuuuuuper cheap!) and she couldn't care less.

 

[RetroRunner]

$1200 on a moissanite ring

 

[Dervius]

I think like 6K. It's appraised for much more, so I lucked out there. My wife loves it, so that's all that matters.

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If that's in the appraisal that comes with the ring, they more or less all do that.

It's a bizarre standard (semi-scam) according to some basic googling when I had a similar puzzling situation. The appraisal was 2k+ more than I paid for the ring.

All to do with insurance.

 

[loco]

$100 and she never really wore it. We don't believe in jewelry and gave our $50 wedding rings away to a young married couple in need.

 

[lt519]

Do what you feel comfortable with and can afford. There is no right or wrong answer. I was in a similar boat that my wife is minimalist and was money conscious but I still surprised her and she still has no idea how much I paid. I did buy a generic setting and told her to change the setting after I proposed to her but she opted to keep it after shopping around.

Can't recommend a site like Blue Nile enough as you can request pictures/charts to see what any defects may be (nothing reasonable is perfect) and pick a diamond within very specific criteria (color, clarity, table size, etc). With a little bit of research on what to look for (table vs depth, etc, not all 1 carat stones are created equal) you can find a diamond that spits fire. If you don't like it, return it at no cost. Plus they are a hell of a lot cheaper than mom/pop places.

 

[obin_gam]

30 bucks each, got two badass tungsten rings 🤘

 

[EJS]

If that's in the appraisal that comes with the ring, they more or less all do that.

It's a bizarre standard (semi-scam) according to some basic googling when I had a similar puzzling situation. The appraisal was 2k+ more than I paid for the ring.

All to do with insurance.

Click to shrink...

It was an outside appraisal.

 

[N7_Kovalski]

My wife actually bought both our rings for less than $100 on etsy (I think). We had a super casual wedding/process. Never felt the need to spend a bunch.

 

[XMonkey]

Good timing, I'm going to propose today. I spent about 4k on the ring and the band together. Went with a lab diamond, we both thought that would be best. Finding a good diamond is a bit of a rabbit hole, there's a lot to learn. We both went ring shopping together and tried quite a few. I really liked this approach and would recommend it unless you're really intent on keeping it a surprise.

 

[CerealKi11a]

I agree with others. Do what you can afford, and honestly, get your SO's take on what they want. "Surprising" people with a multi thousand dollar expenditure is not the best way to go.

I already forgot but I think like $7K? Diamonds add up fast.

 

[SolidSnakeUS]

I know if I did propose to my girlfriend, it would be a $15 rose gold fox ring from Etsy. Or something of the sort.

Spending thousands is baffling to me... I think it also helps that she does not care for diamonds or precious gems really.

I agree with others. Do what you can afford, and honestly, get your SO's take on what they want. "Surprising" people with a multi thousand dollar expenditure is not the best way to go.

I already forgot but I think like $7K? Diamonds add up fast.

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Lexus December To Remember Event...

 

[Dervius]

Do what you feel comfortable with and can afford. There is no right or wrong answer. I was in a similar boat that my wife is minimalist and was money conscious but I still surprised her and she still has no idea how much I paid. I did buy a generic setting and told her to change the setting after I proposed to her but she opted to keep it after shopping around.

Can't recommend a site like Blue Nile enough as you can request pictures/charts to see what any defects may be (nothing reasonable is perfect) and pick a diamond within very specific criteria (color, table size, etc). With a little bit of research on what to look for (table vs depth, etc) you can find a diamond that spits fire. If you don't like it, return it at no cost. Plus they are a hell of a lot cheaper than mom/pop places.

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I used a similar jeweller, Taylor & Hart in London, and comparing diamonds became my min/maxing obsession for a short while.

I did like the approach though.

It was an outside appraisal.

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In which case, fair enough.