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Married Era: Do you have a Hotwife?

HeavenlyOne

HeavenlyOne

The Fallen
Nov 30, 2017
2,358
Your heart
TaySan said:
after the date she's most likely coming back to her husband for more fufiling pleasure.
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Whatever helps the husbands sleep at night, I guess.

henhowc said:
isnt this just an open marriage
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No. The term "hotwife" is only used by those into a particular fetish, where he does not have sex with other women but gets off on her having sex with other men.

It has nothing to do with open marriages and polyamory.

Sanka said:
Just saying monogamy and sexual exclusivity are not natural.
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Jealousy is "natural", hence monogamy. If people can "let go" of a possessive view of relationships, they can "let go" of giving in to any and all sexual desire. Ideally people would just stick to relationships with those that share their values, rather than trying to force their "natural" views on those that don't.

When it comes to relationships, arguing over whether something is or isn't "natural" has always been bullshit. Different things work for different people.
 
OP
OP
TaySan

TaySan

SayTan
Member
Dec 10, 2018
31,448
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Astral/H3X said:
Sharing is caring Era.

It's a bit hard to explain the appeal of the set up, so here's two bad analogies for it.

A hotwife is like having your own personal porn star.
A hotwife is like letting someone drive your sports car as a way of showing it off.

It's just kind of hot? Not for everyone, but it just feels super naughty.
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This is definitely an aspect to it for me. It would be a turn on for me knowing my GF is sought after, but in the end only me and her have this special conection together as we mature emotionally.
 

Deleted member 3183

User-requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,517
HeavenlyOne said:
When it comes to relationships, arguing over whether something is or isn't "natural" has always been bullshit. Different things work for different people.
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Appeals to what is natural is so bizarre to me. What's 'natural'? An appeal to our hunter-gatherer ways prior to civilization? In that case, what's natural is dying at the age of 22 from accidentally angering a hippo.
 
RedMercury

RedMercury

Blue Venus
Member
Dec 24, 2017
17,657
Tfritz said:
in this particular situation, where one party is allowed to fuck other people and the other is not, it's maybe not the makings of a healthy long term relationship.
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But why would a complete stranger be concerned with someone else's marriage to a degree they are openly offput by the concept, it's not anyone else's business, right?
 
Sanka

Sanka

Banned
Feb 17, 2019
5,778
Seirith said:
I disagree, I do not think we would be better off without monogamy, I know many very happy monogamous couples that have no desire to bring anyone else into their relationship in a sexual way. I think people should be free to do as they wish in their relationships, as long as all people are adults and consenting.

Are you assuming the people in open relationships are happier than those in monogamous ones or that those in open relationships never have jealousy or issues?


People are people, and people in relationships will always have issues.
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I mean I don't have anything against what individuals are doing. On a societal stage I believe we need to broaden our understanding of the multiple ways in which you can be in a relationship with someone. Monogamy works sadly just not for the whole population.
 

Deleted member 31333

User requested account closure
Banned
Nov 6, 2017
1,216
Weird thread. So it's basically an open relationship but only the wife gets to benefit from it?

To answer the question: No I guess I don't have a hotwife
unless she is cheating on me...
 
HeavenlyOne

HeavenlyOne

The Fallen
Nov 30, 2017
2,358
Your heart
Sanka said:
Monogamy is merely a social construct
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Sexual monogamy exists in the animal kingdom, it's not just an idea invented by humans.

jot said:
Appeals to what is natural is so bizarre to me. What's 'natural'? An appeal to our hunter-gatherer ways prior to civilization? In that case, what's natural is dying at the age of 22 from accidentally angering a hippo.
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It's a lazy appeal to authority. Natural is good, not natural is bad, so label something as not natural rather offering a meaningful argument against it. The reality is those who claim that monogamy "doesn't work" or "isn't natural" know that it clearly does work for some.

Monogamy works, non-monogamy works. What works will vary for different people.
 
LegendofJoe

LegendofJoe

Member
Oct 28, 2017
12,085
Arkansas, USA
My wife was polyamorous before I met her and has expressed zero interest in being with anyone else since we met. I thought that was odd at first, but after 8 years the amount of commitment and dedication to me and our family she has shown has made me realize that I am enough for her. She's told me that several times too, so I guess we're one of those couples where monogamy works.

That said both of us are fairly sexually liberated. I wouldn't be shocked if down the road both of us have the occasional dalliance. Relationships aren't always static, and I'm okay with that because it makes things more interesting.

It would have to be both of us though. I'm not okay with my partner having more freedom than me. If it isn't an equal partnership then I'm not cool with that.
 
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B4mv

B4mv

Member
Nov 2, 2017
3,056
I think my wife is hot. It's a really subjective, opinion based question though.
 
The Albatross

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
39,038
The fuck I came in here to say yeah my wife is hot.

Then I read the description. No, I dont.

Also this is a great thread to make a list of people who don't read the op.
 
Regulus Tera

Regulus Tera

Member
Oct 25, 2017
19,458
You know, for such a sex positive forum there really is a lot of kinkshaming thrown around in these places.
 
HeavenlyOne

HeavenlyOne

The Fallen
Nov 30, 2017
2,358
Your heart
TaySan said:
Open marriage, wife sharing. Call it whatever you want.
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No, the term "hotwife" is specific to this fetish. The "hotwife" has sex with other men, while the husband is willingly "cuckolded", he is not allowed to have sex with other women. There may or may not be an element of humiliation involved, but if so it's entirely consensual (that is, the husband gets off on being humiliated). The wife's partners may get off on being superior to her husband, and the wife may get off on being serviced by better men.

It's not the same thing as swinging / partner swapping, it's inherently unequal.

Poly relationships are another thing entirely.
 
Wood Man

Wood Man

Member
Oct 30, 2017
5,449
So that's what that particular fetish is called. I know there are guys who get off by watching their wives have sex with other men. Uh yeah, not me.
 
OP
OP
TaySan

TaySan

SayTan
Member
Dec 10, 2018
31,448
Tulsa, Oklahoma
HeavenlyOne said:
No, the term "hotwife" is specific to this fetish. The "hotwife" has sex with other men, while the husband is willingly "cuckolded", he is not allowed to have sex with other women. There may or may not be an element of humiliation involved, but if so it's entirely consensual (that is, the husband gets off on being humiliated). The wife's partners may get off on being superior to her husband, and the wife may get off on being serviced by better men.

It's not the same thing as swinging / partner swapping, it's inherently unequal.

Poly relationships are another thing entirely.
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I guess your right and i 'm probably reading things wrong,but it's not entirely the same as cuckolding where it's entirely based on humiliation. I think that's what is getting mixed up here. Or it doesn't have to be at least.
 
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CHC

CHC

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,246
Sanka said:
Cause it's seemingly not working and creates a lot of repressed sexual feelings for people. Monogamy is merely a social construct that we can do better without or at least less of it. We should examine the ways in which we feel entitled to our partners sexuality and overall jealousy.
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a) Why do arguments like these always seem to imply that social constructs are somehow a bad thing?

b) If you want to appeal to what is "natural," then jealousy and possessiveness are far, far more "natural" than sharing. Look at literally any other living creature during the mating or feeding process. They are extremely possessive.
 
Mobu

Mobu

One Winged Slayer
The Fallen
Oct 28, 2017
5,932
How about when you and your gf fuck other people, everyone knows it, but you two pretend thats not the case
 
FeistyBoots

FeistyBoots

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,506
Southern California
Azraes said:
It's not cuckolding since there's no humiliation involved. And contrary to what people have said a hothusband is a man who has freedom to sleep around while the other partner doesn't do anything.

They're offshoots from cuckolding/cuckqueaning which is rooted in racism and humiliation. It's an entire scene. Has more in common with polyamory and relationship anarchy than the others.

Not married and not my thing. However I do know couples who do this. On the surface, their relationships seem healthy. I don't delve deeper. Not my business.
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Woah woah woah

It has pretty much nothing to do with polyamory.

I'm poly, in more than one relationship as is my life partner. What's being described in this thread is the opposite of how the vast majority of poly people operate, where all partners are equally entitled to their own relationships (and in the case of relationship anarchy, there are no tiers). What the OP talks about is a fetish; polyamory isn't a fetish.
 
FeistyBoots

FeistyBoots

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,506
Southern California
Tfritz said:
in this particular situation, where one party is allowed to fuck other people and the other is not, it's maybe not the makings of a healthy long term relationship.
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You can't know this. What if one of the partners is asexual? They don't love their partner any less and it's not an unhealthy thing for them to agree on and consent to an arrangement that works for both partners.
 
Tfritz

Tfritz

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,276
RedMercury said:
But why would a complete stranger be concerned with someone else's marriage to a degree they are openly offput by the concept, it's not anyone else's business, right?
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That doesn't really follow. To go full hyperbole: If a couple gets off on literally shitting on each other's chests, it's not anyone else's business, but complete strangers can and will still be openly offput by the concept.

Like, again, I don't think open marriages are weird at all, but an asymmetrical arrangement like this, where one partner is explicitly not allowed to sleep with other people is weird and controlling.
 
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Donos

Donos

Member
Nov 15, 2017
6,531
I knew a guy who had. He told us only little snippets but was rather open about it but what I know is, they where the happiest couple around.

So it works for some, for others not. I'm rather on the not side but have no problem for people who make it work. Nothing weird or shameful about it.
 
ByteCulture

ByteCulture

Banned
Nov 1, 2017
706
User Banned (1 Month): Perpetuating Racist and Sexist Stereotypes; Prior Severe Ban for Similar Behavior
No i prefer traditional values. Thats why i got a asian wife not a gernan one.
 
Boy Wander

Boy Wander

Alt Account
Banned
Oct 29, 2017
2,126
UK
TaySan said:
A Hotwife is a married woman who has the freedom in her marriage to pursue sexual relationships with men other than her husband. Her husband has full knowledge of her activities and consents to them.

If yes has it improved your sex life dramatically? How do you manage jealousy? And do you see other women as well with her consent?
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I wouldn't want my wife banging other men. If you don't like it OP, tell her to stop.
 
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