Man Suffers 9-Day Erection After Bruising Taint I’m Moped Accident

[FeliciaFelix]

Fell in a mop, eh?🧐

 

[HammerOfThor]

I kept reading this as "mop'd" which I thought was slang for putting a mop handle in your bum.

I'm leaving disappointed.

 

[opticalmace]

Honestly that sounds pretty terrible.

 

[Cess007]

There's a grade? for boners? lmao

 

[RedSparrows]

I am proud to say I have an erection hardness score of V on command.

It does wonders for the ladies

Yes I've broken the scale

And yes I do this all while wearing my size 16.5 shoes with my extremely long dong

Click to shrink...

Thread expectations met in record time.

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

 

[BriGuy]

I need to see if H4RD IV is available as a vanity plate.

 

[Solace]

Erection hardness score? Shit!
Is there a vaginal tighness index also? I am afraid to google that. Please tell me there is not.

 

[Deleted member 13015]

Today I learned...

 

[Perzeval]

Waiting for a tutorial.

 

[Wackamole]

Erection grades?.. 4?
Flaccid, semi, hard, maximum hard?

 

[Quacktion]

Interesting...

 

[7threst]

This thread is really educational. Thanks OP, today I learned a lot! Hard facts is where it's at!

 

[TheHolyTurnip]

Ok, I've been slamming myself in the taint with a hammer for an hour. When does the erection start?

 

[thesoapster]

CE-rated taint armor incoming

 

[opticalmace]

CE-rated taint armor incoming

Click to shrink...

:lol
Did not expect to see a CE joke, been a while.

 

[Walter White Walker]

And on the tenth day, he flaccidly rested.

 

[Camwi]

Hi Moped Accident, I'm Bruising Taint

Click to shrink...

That's what I was hoping to see.

 

[Skittles]

 

[NoName999]

What's his Era account?

 

[Zelenogorsk]

Dr. Pavel, i'm moped accident.

 

[ILikeFeet]

There's an option to request this discreetly

Click to shrink...

he wants the neighbors to know

 

[ZER0COOL]

Grade IV sounds like a piece of Halo armor

 

[Maquiladora]

Hi Moped Accident
I'm Bruising Taint

Click to shrink...

Twentieth century, go to sleep
You're Pleistocene
That is obscene

 

[Fiction]

Did not expect Coheed puns in this thread, yet ...

 

[Brawly Likes to Brawl]

I know what I'm gonna have nightmares about tonight

 

[Harry Potter Obama]

"Man gains superpower from accident"

 

[Dennis8K]

But then who was taint?

 

[Dennis8K]

Double taint

 

[Cow Mengde]

Hehehe, he said long erection.

Double taint

Click to shrink...

Don't you mean double penetration?

 

[Dali]

Is there anyway I can get official certification with like a card or something that I can show to the ladies?

 

[Epinephrine]

Stage 5 Erection is the next film coming to to Syfy from The Asylum.

 

[NoKisum]

I got the magic stick
I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice
I hit the baddest chicks
Shawty you don't believe me, then come with me tonight
And I'll show you magic

 

[Shroki]

Ah moped accident.

Nature's viagra.

 

[Mechaplum]

This is one of the few headlines where you can insert air quotes for every word in the sentence.

 

[bangai-o]

Some of you claiming to have a Level 5 erection didn't click the article.

0 – Penis does not enlarge.

· 1 – Penis is larger, but not hard.

· 2 – Penis is hard, but not hard enough for penetration.

· 3 – Penis is hard enough for penetration, but not completely hard.

· 4 – Penis is completely hard and fully rigid.

Click to shrink...

There is no level beyond 4.

 

[Acorn]

"I'm moped accident" I found this way too funny.

 

[ThorHammerstein]

It sounds like it was really hard on him.

Grade IV? Impressive yet fearsome stat.
(Edit - now I'm disappointed that IV is the highest - level IV sounded like karate brick breaking hard)

 

[Chanser]

That ain't bad, compared to Dale Decker.

http://www.ladbible.com/news/news-m...o-40-involuntary-erections-every-day-20180107

 

[show me your skeleton]

Some of you claiming to have a Level 5 erection didn't click the article.


There is no level beyond 4.

Click to shrink...

not with that attitude there isn't.

 

[Baladium]

I am proud to say I have an erection hardness score of V on command.

It does wonders for the ladies

Yes I've broken the scale

And yes I do this all while wearing my size 16.5 shoes with my extremely long dong

Click to shrink...

This is rookie league by ERA standards. Certainly nothing to brag about.

Now hang your head in shame and Hit The Gym™.

 

[Dennis8K]

There is no level beyond 4.

Click to shrink...

FOR YOU

 

[Threekola Miroswish]

Stage 5 Hard On

 

[nel e nel]

In the article it talks about how this condition is the opposite of usual "long-term erection" problems. It's not that he wasn't getting enough bloodflow, it's that it was too much. So there was no risk of any cell damage.

Click to shrink...

A Fistula Full of Dollars

 

[Dennis8K]

Stage 5 Hard On

Click to shrink...

Legendary member

 

[Mona]

these guys have never seen my Grade V

 

[V23]

 

[Walter White Walker]

Some of you claiming to have a Level 5 erection didn't click the article.


There is no level beyond 4.

Click to shrink...

This is ERA, friend. We go to 11.

 

[Grimminski]

these guys have never seen my Grade V

Click to shrink...

Is your metal gear a solid V?

 

[Rendering...]

He's really lucky it wasn't painful.