I honestly find the moral outrage a little baffling.
Is it kinda creepy? Maybe. Is it something I would do? No. Is it complicated? Absolutely. Is this going to destroy all relationships involved? Very likely.
But beyond that I find especially the columnist advice relatively even headed…
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He could also be marrying a 45 year old and still get kids, age really doesn't seem to factor in imho. He might even adopt children without marrying…
Yeah this is how I feel. Messy, weird, awkward, shitty situation to put your daughter in, but not morally or ethically outrageous just socially weird and likely a bad idea. Also from the description in the op, there's no evidence of grooming or enabling rape, at least from the description we have. When i was 22 I hooked up with one of my sisters friends at her wedding who was 28. She absolutely knew me when I was 12 and she was 18. She didn't groom me, she didn't lust after me as a weird pre pubescent 5'4" 12 year old, but at some point I became a grown man, we did have sex at my sisters wedding 10 years after I moved in my sister to college and met her dumbass friends. It's still weird from the dad/daughters friend perspective, odd, awkward, shitty thing to do to your daughter, but from the description in the op there's no evidence of grooming anymore than me as a 22 year old sleeping with my sisters friend who was 28. Was I a child once when she knew me? Yes, but when we hooked up I was an adult. Maybe she listed after me as an awkward 12 year old but I doubt it, at least there's no evidence of that.
Also guy has been single for a while, and a young woman Is interested in him… loneliness causes you to make decisions you might not make otherwise. Still think it's odd, shitty situation to put your daughter in. But I think the demand for like… you must give me your house or disavow your grandkids is at least as odd. I get being mad, but that's not like being mad at the awkwardness of your dads stupid relationship, it's putting a value on your anger and the value is a house, which is a pretty dumb position. Like, omg I'm so mad at you I'll never let you see your grandkids, well, unless you give me your house.