Yah, its says they are looking for someone that is interested in the same hobbies as them. One of which includes hunting! What a shocker!
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JFC Tinder in the Mid-West is dire (and other observations of online dating while travelling around the US.)
- Thread starter Prolepro
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Yah, its says they are looking for someone that is interested in the same hobbies as them. One of which includes hunting! What a shocker!
This is just a fish measuring contest!meanwhile for women it's like
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It was mostly no bio profiles and partiers. Also, people love using "masshole" in their profile without anything else.
I understand but taking pride in a hobby involving killing animals for fun for me is something I don't find attractive. Fishing less so but still, standing there with one in your hand when you've only got 9 pics and a few sentences to present who you are as a person is probably not going to make me think youre an interesting person. Ive fished a million times as someone from South Florida but I don't think that's a very interesting thing about myself.
Some people do, and that's fine.
Either way innocent animals are being killed. This is also way off topic. My point is that there is nothing wrong with hunting and fishing. If you don't like it that's fine, but my point stands.
I did the opposite, left the Midwest and wow, online dating is a different thing.
So with tinder, do I need to get the tinder plus for "unlimited likes"? Is there a limit to how many swipes I can use? I have had some luck on tinder but I kinda feel like I don't get a lot of matches as I did on POF, where I felt like a stud.
Oof, don't remind me. But you are correct. This was a phrase I saw all the time on the dating apps.
As an aside, I think a lot of people conflate sarcasm with wit; sarcasm is a form of low-level hostility whereas wit is actually something fun and enjoyable.
Once again nothing to do with what I said. All I said was some people find taking joy in killing animals to be gross. Having a picture of yourself posing with a dead animal will be gross to some people. I never said people shouldn't hunt. I never even said hunting was wrong!
This is anecdotal but from what i've seen it denotes people who are selfish, afraid of commitment, afraid of having an ex that is a factor to a certain extent in the SOs life, that they are not a "priority" to their SO, etc.
It's not a take, it is my experience. Some people are free to do whatever they want, other people are free to feel whichever way they feel about it. I don't get the issue.
What
As an aside, people who reserve the right to reject others for arbitrary reasons tend to be really defensive when they themselves feel rejected for arbitrary reasons.
Ooh the irony.
Hunting and fishing is stupid.
Go to the supermarket like a normal person. They have meat there.
Go to the supermarket like a normal person. They have meat there.
How is that a red flag? It adds a lot of pressure to any potential relationship upfront. I'm not sure if I want kids, and if I do, I would prefer having my own.
Everyone having issues with people having relatively the same interests like hiking, drinking, traveling... what do you expect? Those are pretty normal interests and you aren't going to find many people who advertise true eccentricities on a basic dating profile. You have to suss out if they have an enjoyable personality beyond the basic interests through further conversation or dates.
Because you are rejecting a person based on your personal feelings about something that isn't directly related to who they are as a person and that they can't change about themselves.
um, people who hunt and fish often times still go to the supermarket. It's not like their entire diets consist of venison and trout.
A kid they have to take care of and who depends on them isn't directly related to who they are as a person?
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The small ones are kind of adorable by comparison.meanwhile for women it's like
This is also true lol, Ive had a couple really nice chats with strangers just walking around. I was in Montreal a few days ago and talked to this couple (man and a woman) at the Chalet of Mt Royale who were discussing the Trump aide trying to rewrite the New Colossus. They were pleasantly surprised with how vitriolic I was over the state of my home country (and being far left in general), the guy actually offered to buy me ice cream from the stand there lol.
I also went to Toronto and watched Mulholland Drive at the TIFF and there was this older guy by himself who I thought was a critic just from his attire and this notepad I saw him pull out during the movie. Had a nice little chat about art house films moving away from surrealism during the mid-late 00's and becoming largely hyperrealist as a reaction, but now we're starting to see the opposite happen again.
All in all, Ive met a lot of interesting people and yeah tinder hasnt been a very large contributer for that. It's been interesting to see the similarities/differences between each place though. There's been a couple of people Ive messaged who I might actually keep talking to but most have died off after just one or two back and forth messages. I can see how this thing might get tiring for people.
Cool, that's unfortunate and they could definitely be amazing people. I'm still going to be significantly less interested.
It also is directly related to who they are. A child will be part of their life and probably the most important part.
It has no bearing on their personality, attractiveness and how easy they are to get along with.
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No idea since I really dont swipe right a lot but yeah I think there's a daily limit with a fairly high cap to keep bots from just swiping all day.
This thread is more or less a summary of my dating experience. I grew up in the rural south and lived in Virginia Beach after finishing graduate school. Everything that has been said here is accurate (I will stand up for Norfolk though, it has culture and interesting people, it isn't the barren wasteland for dating that VA Beach is).
That said for years in several different places every interesting person that I liked was already in a committed relationship while everyone else sucked or was out of my league. I was so damn frustrated, but I somehow found the will to keep trying.
My wife and I were overjoyed when we met each other after the shit show we went through prior to that. That's probably why we didn't waste much time and more or less moved in together after about 3 months.
That said for years in several different places every interesting person that I liked was already in a committed relationship while everyone else sucked or was out of my league. I was so damn frustrated, but I somehow found the will to keep trying.
My wife and I were overjoyed when we met each other after the shit show we went through prior to that. That's probably why we didn't waste much time and more or less moved in together after about 3 months.
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Im leaving MI tomorrow (heading to Chicago next) and boy I hope that's the case lol
ok then so what's your point? that it's more ethical somehow? because it isn't
I live in the Midwest about an hour and 45 mins from Chicago and it's a wasteland out here. I have three different dating apps on my phone, and I do about 5 or 6 swipes and then it runs out of people in my area. I can open up my settings to get more people from Rockford, Chicago, and Clinton, Iowa, but I'm not sure if I can do a long distance dating scene when I have two kids that I get very regularly. It's tough.
Preferring not to date potential partners who have kids is one thing, but going on a message board to complain about how they're uniformly unattractive or behaving as if say something about a particular demographic of people from a particular part of the country strikes me as rather unfortunate.
The great thing about that video is that it's in LA one of the "cultured" cities.
Its like that everywhere.
i'd highly disagree that becoming a parent doesn't affect ones personality, but that aside, having a child has a huge bearing on how someone spends their time day-to-day
In what universe is being a parent not directly related to who somebody is lol.
It has a huge impact on personality and lifestyle.
Also it has a huge impact on what your role as the person entering that relationship will be. You're going to be a step-dad/mom rather than dating someone purely one-on-one.
Kinda love this and have been inspired by it.meanwhile for women it's like
I see what you're saying. I want to point out though that I feel the things you listed come off as red flags more due to the negative way you chose to describe them. While they can be negative, they can also - and often are - just valid reasons for not wanting to date someone. For example, you use the word "afraid" which seems to suggest cowardice or insecurity; both undesirable traits in any person. But in reality, people are free to not be ready for commitment or to not want commitment at all because it works for them. It's not necessarily a fear of commitment or a fear of a ex being a big part of their SOs life. It's just... not wanting those things. It's not any different from not wanting to date someone who is saving themselves for marriage when you specifically don't want that. Maybe you do want commitment but don't want to wait for marriage to have sex. Commitment is just a behavior towards something. That something can be anything. You can be looking for commitment but that doesn't mean that you have to accept any situation. You can have rules, specific things you are looking for in a relationship to be committed to. I do realize you are not saying people can't do what they want but I don't think we need to suggest they are wrong somehow for doing so.
To your aside, I'm not sure how you could call someone having a child or multiple children to be arbitrary in the context of dating. It's not like you can just ignore it.
But it does have bearing on many other factors which are important for a relationship. Relationships don't stand entirely on how attractive you find each other and how well your personalities match. For example, some people can't do long distance relationships. Being on the other side of the planet from someone has no bearing on their personality, attractiveness or how easy they are to get along with but nevertheless it effects dating them in a significant way.
Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to date single parents but looking down on them when they're just trying to date like everyone else is wrong. That said, I do think there is a distinct difference between throwing shade at single parents for being who they are and just being annoyed that on a dating app you can't seem to match with people that are compatible with your wants and needs. Both I see in the thread.
meanwhile for women it's like
this and the fucking The Office quotes in their bio
whyyyy
It's not, they're just ignorant of the subject but still love to run their mouth.
Men do Office quotes too? I've heard the fish thing was endemic.
I don't fundamentally have a problem with dating a single parent, and as I get older it becomes less and less of a dealbreaker, but if you're under 25 and divorced or have a child, you've made some life choices that suggest we're probably not going to be that compatible.
Tinder and Bumble are a depressing baron wasteland of anyone remotely intelligent or interesting in the UK unless you live in London.
Single parents are a no-go, I'm trying to build a new life with someone, not getting burdened from the get go with someone else's child.
My man knows what's up! Upstate gets shit on a lot, but for online dating it was a goldmine.
If you think for someone who's a parent that becomes their sole defining characteristic from that point forward then I can't help you.
Being a single parent is also just a negative in the way you chose to define it.
Again, I dated someone with a kid, it wasn't fundamentally different than most other relationships I've been with. Sure it had it's own challenges, but everyone comes with their own limitations, strenghts, weaknesses and particularities. It's like saying "I won't ever date a gamer because I don't want to deal with someone who has shelves of games and cares more about them than me" you are basing it on your own assumptions of what being with someone who is a parent really is, which is unfair.
I think it says a lot about a person if they write off a whole diverse group of people from their dating pool, when that group of people has a lot of difference among themselves and can be a number of different situations some good some bad.
But yeah, people are free to do whatever they want, I don't really care.
I don't know. You tell me:
Sounds like a "You" problem.
Are you really saying that dating someone with a child is "not fundamentally different" than most other relationships?