Is my kid's teacher racially insensitive, or are her 1st grade classmates just little racist jerks?

[MrMephistoX]

So she's 7 and got assigned a cultural class project where the assignment is to quote "Decorate a paper doll to express your own cultural heritage. Choose objects that represent your heritage such as chopsticks, flag, traditions or sports."

The kids drew straws to pick between a peach colored doll and a brown one. By the time they got to my daughter only the brown dolls were left and of course all the kids started laughing at the fact that she a bi-racial Chinese kid got the "black" doll. I'm really heartbroken and am not sure what to say other than assuring her that brown is beautiful...but her teacher freaking told her class that "if you don't like color just paint over it."

Do you think this assignment is kinda fucked from the beginning or is her class just full of little racists in the making? She came home in tears saying the kids all laughed at her and that she felt like this doll isn't pretty and I'm doing my best to try and make it a teachable moment but I need ideas.

Edit: I meant to write " insensitive" not inventive if a MOD can fix that ;)

 

[Speevy]

As an elementary school teacher, I can tell you that you should never create an assignment that presents any variation of this dilemma.

 

[butalala]

Doesn't sound that bad to me, but it's messed up that the teacher had those two options as the base dolls.

 

[DonMigs85]

Is this in China? They can be pretty prejudiced against darker skin

 

[Chainshada]

So she's 7 and got assigned a cultural class project where the assignment is to quote "Decorate a paper doll to express your own cultural heritage. Choose objects that represent your heritage such as chopsticks, flag, traditions or sports."

The kids drew straws to pick between a peach colored doll and a brown one. By the time they got to my daughter only the brown dolls were left and of course all the kids started laughing at the fact that she a bi-racial Chinese kid got the "black" doll. I'm really heartbroken and am not sure what to say other than assuring her that brown is beautiful...but her teacher freaking told her class that "if you don't like color just paint over it."

Do you think this assignment is kinda fucked from the beginning or is her class just full of little racists in the making? She came home in tears saying the kids all laughed at her and that she felt like this doll isn't pretty and I'm doing my best to try and make it a teachable moment but I need ideas.

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Sounds like a bit of both, kids might not know better, but the teacher absolutely should.

 

[MrMephistoX]

Is this in China? They can be pretty prejudiced against darker skin

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Nope SF Bay Area but her class is like 60% Chinese and Indian.

 

[Z-Beat]

Kids are cruel pieces of shit, but also why the hell wouldn't you have enough dolls of each color for everyone? Or a bunch of completely blank white dolls that they can color in themselves?

 

[Dyle]

It would probably have been wise to either have enough extra dolls to ensure that kids could choose one that they felt represented them or just blank white paper dolls that the kids could color themselves. The other kids are probably jerks too

 

[MrMephistoX]

Kids are cruel pieces of shit, but also why the hell wouldn't you have enough dolls of each color for everyone? Or a bunch of completely blank white dolls that they can color in themselves?

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That was my initial thought just have a colorless doll if you're going to do something like this but using skin tones just seems idiotic. Plus you're totally marginalizing anyone who isn't caucasian or African American. Its making East Asian, south asian and latino kids feel bad too since neither of the doll colors truly represent them. Just don't do skin tones at all and go actual paper white or ROYGBIV but not peach and brown.

 

[Hollywood Duo]

Sounds like a just very ill prepared teacher. I suppose not considering this outcome could stray in to insensitive territory.

 

[TheFurizzlyBear]

It would probably have been wise to either have enough extra dolls to ensure that kids could choose one that they felt represented them or just blank white paper dolls that the kids could color themselves. The other kids are probably jerks too

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This. Or just have the dolls all be non-possible-flesh colored.

 

[Z-Beat]

Sounds like a just very ill prepared teacher. I suppose not considering this outcome could stray in to insensitive territory.

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My elementary school had a teacher who was known by many to be a piece of shit. Once when our class was combined with hers they passed out those tiny chalkboards for an activity, and ran out before they got to me. When I let her know she just yelled at me for it.

 

[Lord Fagan]

Teacher is being lazy. This shouldn't take much more than thirty seconds of critical thought to see as troublesome.

 

[Nida]

This seems like a really poor assignment. Only having two color options available, and then not having enough for everyone to choose just seems lazy.

 

[Landy828]

Uh, my 7 year old picking a "black" doll wouldn't be laughed at...and she's white...and we live in the deep South.

Messed up.

As for the teacher, she should have had enough dolls for everybody to pick whatever they wanted.

 

[Z-Beat]

That was my initial thought just have a colorless doll if you're going to do something like this but using skin tones just seems idiotic. Plus you're totally marginalizing anyone who isn't caucasian or African American. Its making East Asian, south asian and latino kids feel bad too since neither of the doll colors truly represent them. Just don't do skin tones at all and go actual paper white or ROYGBIV but not peach and brown.

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Yeah that's definitely weird. I feel like it'd be cheaper to make plain dolls and let the kids do whatever anyway.

 

[MrMephistoX]

Is this type of curiculumn decided at the district level typically? She's a long term sub since the main teacher has been out on maternity leave for the last month. Maybe the actual teacher is to blame not the sub? I feel like I need to bring this up in our parent teacher conference but also am not sure if I'm over reacting?

 

[butalala]

Maybe email the teacher (long term sub) about it. They probably already know that they messed up.

 

[Surface of Me]

It's fucked from the beginning if they have to choose between dolls that already have skin tones before you get them. What if a black kid only had a white doll to choose from?

 

[Umbrella Carp]

Nope SF Bay Area but her class is like 60% Chinese and Indian.

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There's your problem. You're dealing with a microcosm. You might expect nothing but a Liberal Progressive experience living in a place like SanFran, but when you get that many minorities concentrated into one place, behaviors change to adapt into a more familiar environment.

No doubt these kids have brought it to school from home.

 

[SugarNoodles]

Both. The teacher is questionable for creating this situation and shitty for not addressing it adequately.

The kids have clearly picked up a thing or two about race from their families and society at large.

I would report the teacher. This was entirely avoidable and her response was wholly inadequate.

 

[MrMephistoX]

It's fucked from the beginning if they have to choose between dolls that already have skin tones before you get them. What if a black kid only had a white doll to choose from?

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Exactly! My kid is 50:50 white and Asian but I'm not upset there wasn't a yellow shade as much at the fact that this was a binary literally black or white decision and her classmates made her sad but I'm not sure if the premise is fucked or the microcosm mentioned below is to blame here?

Both. The teacher is questionable for creating this situation and shitty for not addressing it adequately.

The kids have clearly picked up a thing or two about race from their families and society at large.

I would report the teacher. This was entirely avoidable and her response was wholly inadequate.

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Good point! I was on the fence but the "if you don't like the color just paint over it" comment really got to me.

 

[Umbrella Carp]

Exactly! My kid is 50:50 white and Asian but I'm not upset there wasn't a yellow shade as much at the fact that this was a binary literally black or white decision and her classmates made her sad but I'm not sure if the premise is fucked or the microcosm mentioned below is to blame here?

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Both. Taking the microcosm on head on is ill advised, you're gonna be pushing shit uphill on that front, especially dealing with a culture as generally stuck in its ways as the Chinese or Indians, but what you are entitled to do is to raise your concerns about this activity with the teacher.

 

[Coyote Zamora]

Kids are cruel, they could have been laughing just because she got a different colored doll in general or there actually could be race issues going on. It's a bigger issue...and one that you need to address...of the fact that your child now views the darker colored doll as ugly.

 

[meph]

1. Make your own paper thing to replace the terrible options available
2. Teach your kid about what happened to her at school
3. Absolutely escalate this shit so that the school is aware it's happening, and so the sub/teacher gets the necessary reprimand for this terribly conceived project

 

[Boiled Goose]

The structure of the assignment and the execution are definitely problematic and not well thought out, even if well intentioned. Not sure it's appropriate for the age group.

 

[MrMephistoX]

Kids are cruel, they could have been laughing just because she got a different colored doll in general or there actually could be race issues going on. It's a bigger issue...and one that you need to address...of the fact that your child now views the darker colored doll as ugly.

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Thats the problem full disclosure I'm the white 50% and I know I'm coming at this from a position of white liberal guilt and privilege and my feeble attempts at contradicting her peers and teacher aren't working. I don't want to pander but want to reach her at an age appropriate level if that makes sense?

 

[Coyote Zamora]

Thats the problem full disclosure I'm the white 50% and I know I'm coming at this from a position of white liberal guilt and privilege and my feeble attempts at contradicting her peers and teacher aren't working. I don't want to pander but want to reach her at an age appropriate level if that makes sense?

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i think the best thing to do is to ask her why she thinks its ugly and try to steer her into thinking of it as different...maybe even how scary it is to be different from the group. With children you never want to push them in any direction but gentle nudges when these issues pop u and lots of conversation work wonders.

Parenting is hard, you don't know if you've done a good job until it's pretty much over.

 

[Aurica]

I think the teacher fucked up, but the kids are shitty, too.

When I was in fourth grade, my teacher had us do something similar. We all made our ideal or future selves out of different colored construction paper. I'm not sure what fourth grade me was thinking, but I made myself a black guy (I am not black). Maybe because a lot of my idols were black men as a child. Maybe because my teacher was black, and I really loved her. She didn't have a problem with it, though. She was amused. My classmates didn't have a problem with it, either. Neither did my parents. They framed it. My neighborhood was white as all hell, and yet I can't think of negative racial influences I had in elementary school. I thought that teacher was a super positive experience for me growing up. I don't know what's up with your daughter's class.

I'm sorry your daughter had that experience. Brown Is beautiful, and those kids aren't all right. Sounds like she has a supportive parent to teacher what's right in the world, though :)

 

[Grug]

Teachers make mistakes sometimes. Hard gig.

It actually sounds like a really well-intentioned activity, they just got the execution a little wrong. They've probably already reflected and will fine tune it next time.

Definitely talk to your daughter but any thought of making an official complaint is not a productive outcome IMO. If the teacher is reprimanded for a well intentioned activity that didn't quite pan out, they'll probably play it too safe in the future and bore the kids shitless with photocopied worksheets.

 

[Zoe]

Exactly! My kid is 50:50 white and Asian but I'm not upset there wasn't a yellow shade as much at the fact that this was a binary literally black or white decision and her classmates made her sad but I'm not sure if the premise is fucked or the microcosm mentioned below is to blame here?

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Seriously, dude? You say that as if yellow would have been an acceptable option.

 

[Joni]

The kids drew straws to pick between a peach colored doll and a brown one.

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That is when the teacher knew the kids would only like one of the two dolls and she fucked up.

 

[Syriel]

Don't make a formal complaint, but do bring it up and see if the teacher is willing to work with you to address it. SF public schools don't get the finding they need and they are pretty racially segregated due to the absolutely craptacular lottery system that is used for school selection.

 

[RastaMentality]

Uh, my 7 year old picking a "black" doll wouldn't be laughed at...and she's white...and we live in the deep South.

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Went to Christian private school and public school in Texas and I seriously doubt white kids (especially the guys) wouldn't laugh at this.

 

[Umbrella Carp]

Went to Christian private school and public school in Texas and I seriously doubt white kids (especially the guys) wouldn't laugh at this.

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Yep, I find that hard to believe as well. Kids are terrible little creatures to others their age.

 

[Landy828]

Went to Christian private school and public school in Texas and I seriously doubt white kids (especially the guys) wouldn't laugh at this.

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Yep, I find that hard to believe as well. Kids are terrible little creatures to others their age.

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Might just be a unique situation. 🤷‍♂️ Her cousin, my niece, is black...she does stuff about her and with her all the time as they're in the same class. The paper and presentation she did for "history" was with her cousin, who picked Tubman. They're only 2nd graders (7). I know they've covered racism already, as she has asked me why the USA treated "brown people" so horribly. We've had some good conversations.

Where I live is super racist, but I've not seen/heard anything like this in the elementary school. I suppose there's just enough diversity (not much), or "innocence" to not see this yet. I know the class would be berated/punished if they reacted like in the OP.

Now my 12 year old, I've not heard anything from her, but I'm sure she sees and hears stuff. She also goes to school with her older cousin (brother to my niece above), who is an 8th grader. I've taught both my daughters to love people no matter how they're different, so I'd expect them to be upset if people made fun of or said something offensive.

Anyway, the teacher should have made the situation easier (although it's not her fault the kids are jerks/or those kids' parents suck), and the parents of these kids should all be ashamed of themselves.

 

[Dixie Flatline]

Is this type of curiculumn decided at the district level typically? She's a long term sub since the main teacher has been out on maternity leave for the last month. Maybe the actual teacher is to blame not the sub? I feel like I need to bring this up in our parent teacher conference but also am not sure if I'm over reacting?

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Do it in private.

 

[t26]

Don't make a formal complaint, but do bring it up and see if the teacher is willing to work with you to address it. SF public schools don't get the finding they need and they are pretty racially segregated due to the absolutely craptacular lottery system that is used for school selection.

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Pretty sure the school is not is SF if there is a large Indian population

 

[Unicorn]

As an elementary school teacher, I can tell you that you should never create an assignment that presents any variation of this dilemma.

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Yeah, yo, this whole thing is fucking and ill conceived... At best.

 

[pizoxuat]

From your description of the assignment, it doesn't sound like the doll was supposed to represent the child themselves, it was supposed to hold stuff that represents your child's culture. So I would frame it to your child as "This beautiful brown doll is your fan and she loves the stuff you love! What kind of things would she be holding and wearing to represent your background?"

The teacher's comment about painting over the doll if you don't like the skin color is fucked up, though.

 

[Panther2103]

It's interesting that they didn't think about the issue of not having enough of each doll beforehand, it seems like a nice little project to show more about you but they definitely overlooked that. I don't think it was intentional. Also drawing straws to pick a skin color seems odd, why didn't they just either hand them out randomly or figure out another way of distributing. Although the same situation may have still appeared.

 

[StrangeRoboMemory]

Assignment is well intentioned but misguided and lazily implemented, and the sub's reaction was shitty and thoughtless. Bring it up with the sub in a parent teacher conference in private; if things go really south there you can officially report it, but I'd hold back on that for now.

 

[kvetcha]

I'd guess it's more that kids are assholes than racists.

 

[Aomame]

Is this type of curiculumn decided at the district level typically? She's a long term sub since the main teacher has been out on maternity leave for the last month. Maybe the actual teacher is to blame not the sub? I feel like I need to bring this up in our parent teacher conference but also am not sure if I'm over reacting?

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LTS arrangements can vary a lot by district and even teacher. The regular classroom teacher is usually expected to leave at least a curriculum map for the LTS to form lesson plans around. There's no general rule that I have seen. There are also a lot of factors that might explain why the choices of dolls were so limited (LTS didn't have the resources to purchase more dolls, dolls were leftover from previous years, etc.). I agree with setting up a private meeting with the teacher to get their side of the story and discuss what can be done.

I think it is worthwhile for the teacher to set aside some carpet time to address the insensitive comments from the other students. This is a classroom culture issue that needs to be dealt with.

 

[wandering]

My kid is 50:50 white and Asian but I'm not upset there wasn't a yellow shade

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I know you mean well, but...

 

[Stabi]

It feels like my teachers when I was a kid would have stopped the class and asked the kids why there were laughing in a shameful way / punished them / make them say sorry or something

 

[CaptNink]

The teacher should have had a large assortment of dolls with varying skin colours and let each child pick one that they feel represents them.

 

[kvetcha]

The teacher should have had a large assortment of dolls with varying skin colours and let each child pick one that they feel represents them.

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wouldn't be surprised if the teacher had to pay for the dolls out of pocket.

 

[MrMephistoX]

Double post

 

[MrMephistoX]

Seriously, dude? You say that as if yellow would have been an acceptable option.

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Poor wording on my part I said earlier I don't think the teacher should have used skin tones at all just regular paper or RGB. I don't care that she didn't get a doll I care that the kids made her feel bad and that the teacher knew it would be an issue and had kids draw straws + the fucked up comment.