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Is it possible to pay a compliment based on looks to stranger without sounding creepy?

SigSig

SigSig

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,777
I do this sometimes, but only ever in a situation where people are a) not preoccupied and b) I'm not sticking around (and of course c) when it's not super weird).
Some dude had an outfit and a moustache that was *on point* and I passed him in a queue and told him I loved his moustache and was out of his life, like, next second. dude genuinely smiled, there was no lingering awkwardness, both of our days got better and the stache was real sweet.
so yeah, it's possible, but try to attach as few strings as possible, ideally zero.
 
just_myles

just_myles

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,454
SigSig said:
I do this sometimes, but only ever in a situation where people are a) not preoccupied and b) I'm not sticking around (and of course c) when it's not super weird).
Some dude had an outfit and a moustache that was *on point* and I passed him in a queue and told him I loved his moustache and was out of his life, like, next second. dude genuinely smiled, there was no lingering awkwardness, both of our days got better and the stache was real sweet.
so yeah, it's possible, but try to attach as few strings as possible, ideally zero.
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Best response. Be nice and keep it moving.
 

Dis

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,937
Considering I find it weird when multiple random Americans have asked where I'm from because they hear my British accent (from people working at stores/restaurants to just random people who hear me talking to my wife in shops) when I visit my in laws, I'm going to say that randomly commenting on a person's looks would most likely come off even weirder.

But I have never felt the need to do so, so my opinion probably doesn't mean a great deal.
 
Hey Please

Hey Please

Avenger
Oct 31, 2017
22,824
Not America
Man, some of the responses here just...

Anyway, it is all about context, settings and self-confidence. People, esp. women, in my experience have been better at figuring out whether someone has an ulterior motive with their compliments.

As a starter I avoid commenting on the overall looks of strangers. However, pieces of garment, jewelries, tattooes, shoes etc are all fair game if that is what piques your interest. Sincerity and ascertaining the right settings are key here.

All that said, compliments of all kinds become easier to give once you have been acquainted with a person.
 
The Albatross

The Albatross

Member
Oct 25, 2017
38,985
Style yes, I think physical appearance it's very hard at least a man paying a compliment to a woman (assuming like typical gender roles).

I compliment people on specific clothes or styles fairly often if I can tell they put some thought or effort into it. Altho complete strangers a little less often, more people who I see regularly but don't otherwise know... "Hey new glasses? They look great!" Or "I like that sweater" if it's something I might wear similar style to my own.

I don't think I've commented on a woman's physical appearance in like 15 years, someone I don't know... And the jury is out on whether that went well or very poorly for me.
 
ascii42

ascii42

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,798
I'm not sure I've ever complimented anyone, stranger or not, on their looks, because I don't know how to do so without sounding creepy.

Okay, I probably have while drunk, and I was probably creepy.
 
Karateka

Karateka

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,940
I do think I have ever paid somebody a compliment and when I'm complimented even by people I know I feel very weird.
 
Chrome Hyena

Chrome Hyena

Member
Oct 30, 2017
8,768
I think it depends tbh. Like I once told a lady I thought her silver and black hair was fire. She appreciated it and I kept it moving. I think it depends on how and what you are saying is what really matters.

Back in the day( in my 20s) when I was in good shape, I had a few women compliment me at the beach for my arms lol. It's fine as long as you aren't creepy.
 
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Soapbox Killer

Soapbox Killer

Member
Oct 28, 2017
27,093
Pikachu Statue said:
It's simply not possible for there not to be "obvious intent". People aren't aliens that walk around all day randomly saying true statements. Intent is inferred.
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I'm not sure I get what you mean. The fella didnt appear to be trying to get at the woman from my vantage point. Like I don't know what was in his heart but from my own experience as married man, I have complemented strangers with no intent to pursue and I have been addressed without thinking the woman was after me.

But again, I might missing your meaning.
 
scitek

scitek

Member
Oct 27, 2017
10,054
I try not to ever compliment anyone for anything because it obviously wouldn't seem genuine.
 
FelRes

FelRes

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
817
CA
User Banned (2 Weeks): Sexism
Hot guy: "You got a nice smile"
Girl: "T-thank you. Have my babies."

Ugly guy: "You got a nice smile"
Girl: "I'm calling security"
 
Inugami

Inugami

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,995
The amount of genuine "only if you're hot" responses is really really sad, especially since it's not true. I'm an over weight, middle aged mess of a human being and I both give and receive compliments on the regular...

The majority of responses have the right of it. Compliment their style, accessories, etc and then move on. If you're commenting on their physical appearance, or trying to use compliments as a means to start a conversation, you are coming off as a "nice guy" with entitlement issues.
 
Rendering...

Rendering...

Member
Oct 30, 2017
19,089
It's difficult to compliment the opposite sex's body and be at all sure they'll understand you're not checking them out or hitting on them. In real life I just plain don't comment on women's bodies unless we know each other (which usually means they know I'm gay) and they've explicitly invited my opinion or we have an understanding. I feel like it's best to be overly cautious rather than trust my good intentions to shine through.

Also, for politeness' sake, with men I usually don't go "Sick bulge bro," or "You are caked up, my man, or "I bet you could crush a walnut between them tiddies, fam." I would probably sacrifice the population of Florida to have a social circle full of hunks who appreciate that kind of attention, though.

Anyway, clothing and style (including hair) are much less thorny subjects for compliments than people's bodies, if you know how to be tactful. So it's best to stick to those most of the time IMO.
 
NameUser

NameUser

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,981
Sometimes. Like hair or clothes. Never have an issue cause it's always a passing comment. I don't stay and talk to them most times, so it's clear I have no interest in them whatsoever.
 
Pikachu Statue

Pikachu Statue

Banned
Nov 3, 2021
593
Soapbox Killer said:
I have complemented strangers with no intent to pursue
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But you had some intent when you told someone that they looked nice. I mean it's not like you say "this is a door" every time you open a door.

Even if your intent was to make them feel nice, that's sort of questionable from a cynical urban mindset. Why did you want a stranger to feel nice? Why that particular stranger? You have a pretty high chance to throw someone off their groove, and the upside isn't worth it.
 
atomsk eater

atomsk eater

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,828
Usually not a problem if it's about their clothing/accessories/style. Something they can control and likely are wearing in a way they like. "You hairstyle looks nice." "That (clothing item) suits you." Stuff like that. Nice and simple.
Compliments directly about body parts and/or physical attributes that cannot be changed (easily) can and often are hella weird tho. There are probably means to pull it off but it's too much of a potential landmine. Have never felt the need to compliment a stranger on how their body is.

Also idk if people do this on purpose but sometimes they be doing too much. Tone is gross, leering, lip licking/smacking etc. You could deliver the mildest compliment and it would make the recipient feel dirty if you were doing that shit.
 
Afrikan

Afrikan

Member
Oct 28, 2017
16,970
brokenmachine said:
If you're very attractive.
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McScroggz said:
If it's related to something like clothing or a cool piece of jewelry, sure. If it's about her physical attractiveness, probably not. And unless you are approaching somebody with the intent to make a connection, you shouldn't try.
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But I shouldn't say "very".. but if you're confident in your looks/personality and you mean well and are respectful with the approach...go for it. 🤷🏾‍♂️

My move has never been mentioning looks though. I actually avoid it. I just presume that person has heard that shit all day.
 
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Soapbox Killer

Soapbox Killer

Member
Oct 28, 2017
27,093
Dr. Lucien Sanchez said:
Are you the encino man or something? How do you mean you don't get the protocols of today?
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Yes I am. I turned 20 back in the 90s, I would not think twice about any of this stuff. I would holla at a girl anywhere and anytime. The world is different now. (Maybe it's not, what do I know)


Pikachu Statue said:
But you had some intent when you told someone that they looked nice. I mean it's not like you say "this is a door" every time you open a door.

Even if your intent was to make them feel nice, that's sort of questionable from a cynical urban mindset. Why did you want a stranger to feel nice? Why that particular stranger? You have a pretty high chance to throw someone off their groove, and the upside isn't worth it.
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Intent to comment on that what struck me as extraordinary. I don't wish to drive or purchase every nice car I see or have commentary on.
 
Inugami

Inugami

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,995
Soapbox Killer said:
Yes I am. I turned 20 back in the 90s, I would not think twice about any of this stuff. I would holla at a girl anywhere and anytime. The world is different now. (Maybe it's not, what do I know)
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I guarantee you, women were people in the 90's just as much as today, and valued being respected as a person even then... The fact that you are more cautious as you've gotten older, but not more empathetic is a little worrying.
 
Irishmantis

Irishmantis

Member
Jan 5, 2019
1,801
The more I think about this question the more is a grey area

way too many variables from person to person

Which I guess is why this is such an interesting thread

I guess the safest answer is don't to avoid any creepiness but that doesn't necessarily mean it's always creepy
 
Sarobi

Sarobi

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,982
Yes, but in very limited situations. Example: A waitress had violet eyes, and I told her she had incredibly beautiful eyes, but it was in a "holy shit you have a rare eye color" way, and that's because she did in fact have a rare eye color lol.

She told me her sister had violet eyes as well, and we joked about something. But yeah, it's possible to compliment people in THIS way.
 

Deleted member 8257

Oct 26, 2017
24,586
"Wow you look mindblowing. Can I tell you how far videogames have come since Mario Brothers?"
 
Pikachu Statue

Pikachu Statue

Banned
Nov 3, 2021
593
Soapbox Killer said:
Intent to comment on that what struck me as extraordinary. I don't wish to drive or purchase every nice car I see or have commentary on.
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I can't relate to it, it's like cartoon character logic. Do you really say something out loud to a car when it looks better than the average car? Or are you talking about commenting about the car to your friends who are next to you? That would totally break the analogy.
 
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Soapbox Killer

Soapbox Killer

Member
Oct 28, 2017
27,093
cameron said:
Is this something to feel proud of? Something to have nostalgia for?
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It's just the truth. How did you meet people back in say 1996? How did you ask someone out for a date that you never met? You ever lock eyes with someone across a train or a store and know it's time to approach?



Inugami said:
I guarantee you, women were people in the 90's just as much as today, and valued being respected as a person even then... The fact that you are more cautious as you've gotten older, but not more empathetic is a little worrying.
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C'mon...times change and with it cultures and protocol. There was never a lack of respect for women in my approach but in a pre social media world, how else were I to meet new girls?

And don't kid yourself to think women have not come to me back then and said far more raunchy and explicit things to me out of the blue. It's not even close.
 
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