Is it possible I could have Autism? Should I attempt to get a diagnosis?

[Robin]

This is a bit of a sensitive subject so please be gentle, and I apologize if I say anything inappropriate, as this is not a subject I know much about.

Anyway, I've been feeling for awhile like it's possible I might have some kind of high functioning autism.

It's a thought I've had before for awhile, but everytime I bring up the thought of it people around me have always been quick to tell me they don't think it's possible or doesn't sound like me, so I let it go. It's been nagging at me again though recently and this time I did a bit more researching and I have been going over it with my sister and mom and this time it stuck and they're agreeing with me, which is like, cathartic but also kind of scary because now it feels real? I don't know if there is a point in seeking a diagnosis out either. I'm doing alright career wise and socially I'm doing alright and am in a happy relationship. I don't know what I'd do if it turned out I actually am Autistic, I guess it wouldn't actually change much, but it would be nice I guess to realize why life has felt so hard at times? It also would hurt though.


Things that make me believe it isn't possible:
- I find it very easy to read peoples emotions and consider myself very empathetic. When I take personality tests I'm often put into mediator roles, and sometimes other peoples emotions can be felt so strongly it causes me distress. I've read that not all autistic people have trouble with emotional intelligence, but this seems to be a pretty big one.
- I do not have any major sensory issues other than taste / food related things (more on this later)
- motor skills aren't particularly poor (I'd say maybe mediocre to average instead?)


Things that make me believe it's possible I could have Autism:
- My mom describes me as being very quiet / melancholic as a child, frequently has said that my actions were very mysterious and I was particularly difficult to get to open up about things
- I'm Transgender, and while there is no known correlation, Autistic people seem to be more likely to identify as Transgender or Non-Binary
- I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child but am not a particularly hyperactive person, I've read that ADHD and Autism can sometimes be misdiagnosed for the other.
- I have ARFID and have some seriously strange eating habits. I cannot eat most food without wretching / vomiting and it's greatly impacted me to the point of hiding my eating habits from other people, not being able to go out to eat with friends / coworkers, etc. I've gotten slightly better over the years but I still don't eat most vegetables and have strange habits around food, such as eating mostly the same things for my meals over and over. I pretty much live off of chicken and bacon and eggs.
- I tend to have trouble sitting in one place and am known to get up and pace when in a group of sitting friends / family. When I stand in place I often rock back and forth without meaning to.
- High anxiety both generalized and social. When waiting / expecting something I often have to stop everything I'm doing just to wait / anticipate something, and am known to stand in front of windows waiting for packages to arrive, etc. When I was a kid and would have friends come over I would often wait by the door for extended periods of time, counting down to imaginary times I predicted the individual may arrive.
- Frequently wear similar clothing, eat the same food, have a small friend group that I hang out with intimately but otherwise self isolate.
- I have poor volume control and tend to shout when I get excited and to not pick up on cues that I need to lower my volume, something I am frequently embarrassed about.
- often become obsessed with singular topics and lose interest in all other activities, whatever I'm working on I tend to have an intense focus on. I typically dominate conversations talking about my passion projects. Im much better at having even conversations these days, but as a kid and teen I would get chastised for this a lot
- I have issues getting full nights of sleep

I also made the mistake of trying one of those online tests, which I know are crap / only an indicator, but this is how I scored:

 

[Bradford]

It never hurts to talk to a professional. I would encourage you to speak to your doctor; whatever they determine will be the best course of action.

 

[Wrexis]

Try to avoid labelling yourself (you've listed a lot), and get a professional diagnosis.

 

[subpar spatula]

You sound... normal? If you want to get tested, sure, but you don't seem any different from everyone else.

 

[SteveWinwood]

definitely talk to a doctor, bring up your concerns. it cant hurt and itll probably make you feel better just to get some confirmation either way even if it turns out you dont have anything

for what its worth i just took that same test and got a 24 out of 30 and im pretty sure i dont have autism

 

[Painguy]

If it bothers you ask a professional. Even if you are if it doesn't debilitate your ability to live a decent life I wouldn't worry about it too much.
-Someone with slight autism (probably lol)

Honestly tho everyone has a little bit of something. I've never met someone without an interesting quirk so don't stress over it.

 

[Deleted member 39374]

You need to speak with a professional, and not a video game forum

 

[Messofanego]

You can do an AQ-10 assessment along with other tests with a healthcare professional and see if you fall on the spectrum.

 

[TaySan]

Avoid self-diagnosing yourself and speak to a professional.

 

[Chopchop]

A lot of the stuff you've listed does sound like they could be indicators. It's possible to be on the spectrum while still having all the traits under your "this is why I dont' think I have it" list.

I think if you're not sure and you want to know for sure, you should get an assessment done.

But if you do decide to get an assessment, it's important to remember that no matter how the diagnosis turns out, it won't change who you are as a person. It only lets you know yourself better. It could provide an explanation for why some parts of your life felt so much harder than they did for other people. It's better to see it as a trait rather than a disease.

 

[mieumieu]

A therapist friend of mine said I'm definitely autistic but I don't push for a diagnosis. For one thing they don't really diagnose it for adults in my country. For another thing, I'm trans, and it seems being autistic along with that can be... problematic in some corners of the world if one wants trans healthcare.

 

[GamerJM]

This might be an unpopular opinion but I wouldn't recommend getting a diagnosis from what I've read. It seems to yield no tangible benefits if you're an employed adult and only drawbacks (as the above poster has mentioned, it can make certain things harder if you're trans). If you're a student and still in school it can help with accommodations but that's it (I was able to get accommodations with just a diagnosis for extreme anxiety).

 

[Brawndo Addict]

It's very difficult to properly diagnose in adults through mere observation/self-evaluation; there's just a lot of more likely culprits for various symptoms like standard anxiety or personality disorders, a completely normal range of behavior for personal eccentricities/expressions, being much more shy/introverted than the 'average' but still within a normal range, and other similar factors. Just as an idea of the kinds of things that would normally be asked for in going through adult assessment: Witness accounts from family/teachers/friends of your early childhood development and medical documentation or other written contemporaneous accounts backing those up.

It's typically diagnosed in childhood because the differences in behavior between those on the spectrum and those who aren't are most pronounced in those ages given rapid development/milestones. Obviously we've gone a long way in public awareness both in the medical field and the public, so it's not to say that it wasn't underdiagnosed for many years and you could have been overlooked. But unless multiple people were picking up on things you did early on that seemed significantly off from the rest of the kids your age, it's going to be very hard to pinpoint it down as being on the spectrum.

Given that you're an adult now, it's also questionable whether such a diagnosis would actually benefit you more than targeted therapy for specific issues. Autism related therapeutic approaches are predominately focused around children (as that's when diagnoses are typically made and the impact of intervention is most significant); there just aren't very many experts/practices directed towards adults on the spectrum to tap into. Contrast that with the abundance of professionals/practices you could tap into that specialize in serving adult populations for the standard disorder families (eating, anxiety, etc).

Remember that it is not about the existence of symptoms by itself but the prevalence and severity of symptoms that are well beyond the expected deviation that are indicative of whether someone has a particular disorder/issue. For example, everyone tends to get louder and more engaged when they are talking or arguing about a subject they have a special passion for, it's human nature. But those with autism typically struggle with volume control in all contexts, for example, not realizing they need to talk at different volumes in say a movie theatre or library, or talking loudly even when they are alone.

With that in mind, your difficulties with eating strike me as the most noteworthy in terms of their significant scope and severity and their outsized impact on your ability to engage in normal, everyday activities. But consider whether knowing the cause actually helps you to resolve the underlying issue. Would knowing it was originally caused by autism as opposed to say, some kind of traumatic childhood event or as an anxiety-coping mechanism significantly change the way you hope to address it? Regardless of the root cause, the prescription will be to see an eating disorder specialist trained in modifying and correcting adult behaviors of that type. The program and steps they will move you through won't fundamentally vary depending on the root cause.

 

[Devilgunman]

Only professional can tell you. Autism has spectrum and you may or may not be in any spectrum regardless of your symptoms.

 

[Deleted member 75819]

I wouldn't get too caught up with labels. Many diagnoses exist on a spectrum (like autism), so demarcating between "normal" and "abnormal" for the sake of putting yourself in a box becomes a little tricky and not necessarily helpful (and sometimes even harmful). I'd suggest seeking a therapist, bringing up your concerns, and going from there. Good luck!

 

[KillLaCam]

If you're ever seriously wondering if you have anything then you should check with a professional. Self diagnosis isn't really a good thing to do

 

[Zoantharia]

The symptoms of social anxiety disorder and autism can often overlap, despite being completely different conditions, and that's not taking into account any other external factors that may be affecting you or causing you distress. Never self-diagnose. And it never hurts to talk to a professional if it is within your means!

 

[Teriyaki Blues]

Self-diagnosis often leads people into getting appropriate medical attention, and I suggest that you do so. I personally am probably on the spectrum as well and our family can not afford the testing because United States "Healthcare System", but we do have a child who is diagnosed. I just tend to say I'm most likely to be neurodivergant and leave it at that.

One thing that stuck out to me in the OP - being highly empathetic to the point of being overwhelmed/shutting down is actually something that a lot of people on the spectrum have problems with, which neurotypicals don't seem to really know about. Also, the phrase "high functioning" is really offensive to some people on the spectrum because it is often used to disqualify us from getting help such as therapy, medication, and medical coverage in general. Just letting you know.

Best of luck with getting help with a diagnosis and an appropriate care plan!

 

[Randolph Freelander]

From your opener, it seems like you're doing alright and are pretty comfortable with yourself. In that case, awesome!

But if it would help you get even more comfortable with being who you are, go for it. I think you'll deal with the verdict fine either way, but if you need it for peace of mind or to understand more about yourself, you should do it. Just don't forget, you're doing well! Use the results (either way) to try to do even better.

 

[Charizard]

A lot of those symptoms are common in people with ADHD too, TBH. I would talk with a professional to see if you have might have autism or if your childhood diagnosis of ADHD might be correct after all.

 

[Tahnit]

Im on the spectrum. It doesn't define your life. Relationships are a bit harder to work on but other than that you are perfectly normal. Most of my friends understand how I work now and I dont seem to offend them often. Its not a terrible thing OP trust me.

 

[Brawndo Addict]

Self-diagnosis often leads people into getting appropriate medical attention, and I suggest that you do so. I personally am probably on the spectrum as well and our family can not afford the testing because United States "Healthcare System", but we do have a child who is diagnosed. I just tend to say I'm most likely to be neurodivergant and leave it at that.

One thing that stuck out to me in the OP - being highly empathetic to the point of being overwhelmed/shutting down is actually something that a lot of people on the spectrum have problems with, which neurotypicals don't seem to really know about. Also, the phrase "high functioning" is really offensive to some people on the spectrum because it is often used to disqualify us from getting help such as therapy, medication, and medical coverage in general. Just letting you know.

Best of luck with getting help with a diagnosis and an appropriate care plan!

Click to shrink...

Thanks for pointing that out, I've done research to get myself up to speed and l will edit the post and my language in the future accordingly. It's one of those terms that your brain reflexively remembers from culture and you fail to properly think through the now-obvious implications. For those who might be using the term as I did and didn't realize these issues.

Both current research and community activism shows that the term is damaging/unhelpful for multiple reasons. First, it originates from IQ assessments, not behavior/functionality assessments, so it was misleading to begin with. Similarly, it's not even a diagnostic term used by the medical community. And it isn't even predictive when used in the original context for an absence of intellectual disability. Researchers found that the functional skills of those with autism but no intellectual disability closely matched those with both autism and intellectual disability. And from the discourse perspective as Teriyaki Blues pointed out, it both insults those who would be considered 'low-functioning' while mistakenly creating the impression that those who are 'high-functioning' do not have everyday behavioral/skills challenges that require the same kinds of medical intervention/services/assistance and coverage.

 

[Prax]

Yes based on your description I yam diagnose you with the autisms lol (I'm not a doctor).

I don't think you particularly need a diagnosis unless you want to seek medication or accommodations for it specifically (e.g. Abilify is sometimes used to lessen the irritability of people who have autism, which my friend takes and has helped her a lot with avoiding complete meltdowns or escalating tensions with people) or if it would just really bring you peace of mind.

If life seems otherwise manageable for you and you're coping ok, just keep it in mind when typically "normal" things seem incredibly difficult for you. This may also help you detect anxieties and difficulties your own children might feel, as I believe there is a big genetic (and inheritable) component to it. Perhaps you come from a family of "weirdos" who don't quite realize they are, and this would explain a lot!

There are many autistic people who are hyper sensitive to other people's emotions. It's not that they can't read or feel the emotions of others, but that they can't regulate and react well due to being overwhelmed or just poor ability to recall the right "social script" to respond (I am on the other end where I am much more insensitive and don't quite know what information is being emotionally conveyed until I spend extra time to think about it lol. People with autism also vary on the spectrum of prioritization of thinkery-ness vs emotionality).

 

[Deleted member 22630]

If you have sensory sensitivity, maybe. Talk to a doctor ultimately.