I don't think OP would have made this thread if she was someone who wasn't thinking about these exact topics. If she's aware of the exact spots where these kinds of relationships go wrong, isn't it good she knows what to look out for?
I think that's probably true it's more likely, but I think that simplifies a lot of the complex realities of how an abuser attains power and control over their victim.
Omg reason.
I didn't miss anything. You're trying to equate that someone fresh out of high school is on the same level mentally and emotionally as someone that maybe doesn't have their shit together in their late-20's, or that someone that finished college much earlier than normal is on the same level as someone who has their shit together in their late-20's. It doesn't matter how put-together that older person is in their life, they are still well-beyond any kid fresh out of high school.
I think from the outside it can look creepy but if the relationship works it works. And once you are together you probably won't care what people think about you.
I don't see how that's relevant to the point of "a person can be abused by another person even if they're the same age."
Um...that is absolutely creepy.
This, I feel like before I met my GF I was so sad and lonely despite having a decent support network. Ever since we met she's helped me cope with sadness and vice versa. She's 13 years older than me I don't think about unless someone brings it up tbh.
Certainly, I was speaking in more general terms, though I still vote for "creepy." I think someone who would ask this kind of question before engaging in a potential relationship is already much better off than someone who would try to engage through malicious intent, obviously. It's that self-awareness from both parties that can make it work, for sure.
It's only one facet of a power dynamic in a relationship, but it's a fundamental one that I feel some are disregarding. There's a whole lot more to it, however age is tied to so much more that can determine how problematic these kinds of relationships can become.
The fuck does this come from lmao. This is some internet wisdom bullshit.
I think you need to put the book down and see life for what it is. There are absolutely people who are 18 that are more levelheaded and mature than grown ass adults. I doesn't matter if their brain is fully developed or how much life experiences anyone has. There are morons who believe the earth is flat.
Well yeah I agree with both of these statements, I just think that means that it's a question of putting in the work and acknowledging where these kinds of relationships can go wrong.
Why?
Lol. The best thing about what you just wrote is they don't give a fuck about your opinion.
What do you mean why? I know you're biased but jfc you really can't see anything wrong with a person having a 30+ year age gap? That person is the same age as most 20 year olds parents. It's such a massive power imbalance and lifestyle difference.
The best thing in this thread is you showing how much of a creep you are. Keep thinking it's cool to date teenagers as a 31 year old man! :)
You don't think it's overstepping some kind of boundary of good taste to tell someone that a relationship they've had for 20 years is inherently sick and wrong?
There is nothing wrong with an age gap. It only is to you. The sooner you get that the sooner you can move on with your life.
There's also morons that think it's fine to date people fresh out of high school while in their 30's, and then try to blame the kid for it happening.
No I don't. I'm not going to support 30+ age gaps just because someone popped in here and said it worked out for them especially when this age gap is between a 20 year old and 50 year old.
I'm sure you meant to write between consenting adults but I don't know if I want to give you the benefit of the doubt considering how hard you are advocating for inappropriate age gaps in this thread so I'll say no age gaps are not always okay and that should be common sense that we don't allow grown people to date teenagers and children.
I didn't mean to come off angry or anything it's just a pet peeve of my mine haha. I do understand where you coming from but honestly you'd be surprised how much someone can grow in a few years. I think perhaps you just happen to live in a place where people just happen to have simpler lives. Poverty and isolation can really make mature fast. Sorry if I made any assumptions that offend you.
Problem is that everyone will think that they are the exception
That sounds like a lot of assumptions. Imbalanced power dynamics in relationships isn't hardcoded, it manifests in a lot of ways such as financial abuse.
I mean, okay I guess? Do you think someone saying that marrying someone 30 years older when they were 23 is going to lead to a bunch of other 50 year olds doing in en masse?
