Okay I've seen this come up a bit, what power dynamic? What power would OP have over someone they wouldn't if they were younger or if their partner was older?
Like the only thing I can think is "sketchy adult lures naive younger adult" but, like, any relationship between adults has the potential to get sketchy. What changes here?
This power dynamic stuff also ignores that two people of the same age in the "same stage of life" or whatever the fuck might make very different amounts of money, which actually DOES lead to a huge power dynamic differential. Should people not date people who make more or less money than them as a result?Okay I've seen this come up a bit, what power dynamic? What power would OP have over someone they wouldn't if they were younger or if their partner was older?
Like the only thing I can think is "sketchy adult lures naive younger adult" but, like, any relationship between adults has the potential to get sketchy. What changes here?
oh so a 100 year old is okay to date a 57 year old? gross
Life experience is not just a meter than continually fills at a constant rate as you age. It means all kinds of things to different people and age is just one determining factor. It's not a strong foundation on which to make hard and fast rules about relationships. Like, if you have personal rules about it, that's totally fine, but once you make it a prescription for everyone it has to have a stronger basis.
A 19-year-old does not have the life experience of a 28-year-old no matter how "mature" they think they are for their age. They are not even allowed to go into bars/clubs yet.Okay I've seen this come up a bit, what power dynamic? What power would OP have over someone they wouldn't if they were younger or if their partner was older?
Like the only thing I can think is "sketchy adult lures naive younger adult" but, like, any relationship between adults has the potential to get sketchy. What changes here?
Agreed, but this is an entire thread of "you problems."
Does anyone here know you? Does anyone here have any insight into the relationship you two have? You didn't start trawling through Club Penguin for a hook-up, you talked to another adult and found out they were younger than you thought.This is what happened.
She makes me feel wanted and we do have things in common, even if she's really high energy compared to me. I just want to make sure flirting isn't doing something wrong, which it might be judging by the poll.
Is that something that can objectively quantified for every single scenario?
Life experience is not just a meter than continually fills at a constant rate as you age. It means all kinds of things to different people and age is just one determining factor. It's not a strong foundation on which to make hard and fast rules about relationships. Like, if you have personal rules about it, that's totally fine, but once you make it a prescription for everyone it has to have a stronger basis.
I mean, we can take OP at their word that this person is mature enough. 50% of people are more mature than average for their age. Not exactly slim odds.I just think that the average 19yo is still very naive. Maybe this one is super mature for the age, but there's no way to know.
If the same age difference was between a 40yo and a 31yo I would think it's fine.
How is feeling like you're wanted by a partner a red flag?
Okay I've seen this come up a bit, what power dynamic? What power would OP have over someone they wouldn't if they were younger or if their partner was older?
Like the only thing I can think is "sketchy adult lures naive younger adult" but, like, any relationship between adults has the potential to get sketchy. What changes here?
This power dynamic stuff also ignores that two people of the same age in the "same stage of life" or whatever the fuck might make very different amounts of money, which actually DOES lead to a huge power dynamic differential. Should people not date people who make more or less money than them as a result?
I think people need to do more work to argue the power dynamic angle if they're gonna bring it up.
What? How is feeling like you are wanted by a romantic partner a red flag? That's like the core of every romantic relationship.
🇫🇷You do you I guess. I'm 27 and I can't imagine myself hanging out with a college girl at this point.
That sounds like the kind of thing that can happen in a relationship of any age, especially financial abuse. Certainly one that's more likely to happen here and I think that's something predatory partners look for, in which case I think it's appropriate that the OP is asking these questions and going "okay here's XYZ, what should I do?"You will generally have
1)More emotional maturity
2)More financial stability
3)More lived in experiences
So you figure if you're in a relationship that's a level up for your partner, right? But not necessarily. Its less about someone being intentionally nefarious but just how things happen. Imho its like, lol, videogames. You already know some of the cheat codes in that stage of their lives, you can give it to em to help, or maybe use it as a shortcut to win an argument you're having. And the thing is, with the later, you might not even realize your doing it
I was raised by my older brother and sister and their friends. We're talking 7 to 12 years older than me, they always included me in their activities the best they could. They were the one that took me to my first bars, clubs, strip clubs etc at 16. I took pride in flirting with much older people than myself. I loved playing a bit of a deception game with my age, but in the end they always knew I was much younger.
I had more life experience by the time I was 18 then someone nearly their 30's. Youngest person I every dated was 3 years older than me, and I'm now married to a wonderful women that's 6 years older than me.
It all depends on the situation