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Incident With Another Customer At Target, Mostly A Vent Thread
- Thread starter Stygian
- Start date
Why are you even still dwelling on the encounter this far out, let alone seeking to "vent" and get advice from the internet weeks after the fact?
Move on with your life is the best advice at this point.
There are a lot of people out there with undiagnosed mental health issues. You aren't going to be able to convince someone who thinks they are being stalked like that. He specifically said you were following him around town. This should have been your signal as a person who is able to read social cues to back away from the conversation.
I am a magnet for people like that, can't tell you how many times I've had someone go off on me only for someone to later come up and be like "jesus,what did you do to that person?" and I can only respond "I've never even seen them before and I wasn't even looking at them until they started yelling at me."
Lots of random people just want to fist fight me for some reason, I get told that all the time. I'm like the most unassuming person. I guess when you're just a generic as fuck white guy you're always going to remind someone of somebody that pisses them off.
Lots of random people just want to fist fight me for some reason, I get told that all the time. I'm like the most unassuming person. I guess when you're just a generic as fuck white guy you're always going to remind someone of somebody that pisses them off.
Because it was a really strange moment, he's unsure about how it went, and probably hasn't talked about it to that many people? Moving on would be for the best but I can see why it's still on his mind.
That's pretty crazy, I don't even know how I would have reacted. I wonder if he was a paranoid schizophrenic or on drugs. I think you handled it okay though and it's definitely not worth getting into a physical confrontation over.
Growing up in Chicago, you get random encounters in the street fairly frequently, sometimes from hostile people screaming something accusatory at you for no reason. The best lesson is to just keep it moving.
If you're in line somewhere, say "okay" if you have to say anything at all and go to another line. On the train, move to another car. If it's on the street and you're heading somewhere, just keep your head straight and ignore it completely. It's almost never worth engaging, especially when the person is clearly amped up about something that you know isn't real or true. You just keep moving and escape the situation.
If you're in line somewhere, say "okay" if you have to say anything at all and go to another line. On the train, move to another car. If it's on the street and you're heading somewhere, just keep your head straight and ignore it completely. It's almost never worth engaging, especially when the person is clearly amped up about something that you know isn't real or true. You just keep moving and escape the situation.
Haha pretty much
I wonder if the other guy made a thread about the encounter
Because he thinks it's still about him, which obviously it isn't. You'd think a few weeks of hindsight would have made it clearer, but apparently not.
OP
OP
I value the opinions of the community here, and thought maybe hearing the thoughts of people here would help put things in perspective.
They have, and I thank everyone here for their input.
OP
OP
Thank you, you summed up my reasons for posting this thread perfectly.
OP
OP
I've been bothered by the fact I let him get me angry and I felt bad about it. I wanted to get the thoughts and perspectives of people here. I thought maybe it might help me deal with similar situations better in the future.
As someone who worked a public facing job, people carry alot of shit in the door with them and some of it will be thrown at you no matter what. Best thing to do is take whatever actions you can to not have to engage with that person longer than you have to. Even if that means walking away and not saying another word. Leave them alone with their demons. You might be in the right calling them out, but you never know how far they're willing to escalate shit .
Strange situation. I don't think you handled it very well, especially with the last bit about interrupting you and your girlfriend. Just comes off as super aggressive and over protective. But i don't really know the best way to handle some of this other than just nod and leave.
I've had strange people approach me over strange shit, and I typically just do my best to ignore them and leave, or apologize and leave. A slight bruise to the ego is better than whatever escalation might cause.
Once was at a bar and had someone come up to me and accuse me of being a pool hustler. He was like, really angry even though we had never met, and then kept insisting on playing me at pool and he'd really show me up. I basically jsut went "uh huh. neat. cool" checked my phone, then walked away. Kinda freaked me out because I wasn't sure if he was trying to fight me or trick me into playing pool for money or what. He seemed a little drunk. Just bad vibes. But he didn't follow me either. Just better to walk away than try to convince him I actually suck at pool and don't gamble.
I've had strange people approach me over strange shit, and I typically just do my best to ignore them and leave, or apologize and leave. A slight bruise to the ego is better than whatever escalation might cause.
Once was at a bar and had someone come up to me and accuse me of being a pool hustler. He was like, really angry even though we had never met, and then kept insisting on playing me at pool and he'd really show me up. I basically jsut went "uh huh. neat. cool" checked my phone, then walked away. Kinda freaked me out because I wasn't sure if he was trying to fight me or trick me into playing pool for money or what. He seemed a little drunk. Just bad vibes. But he didn't follow me either. Just better to walk away than try to convince him I actually suck at pool and don't gamble.
Living in a good-sized city and taking public transportation + working in healthcare, I'm used to seeing people act like this. Just another crazy person, not worth getting mad over or engaging with them like that.
Irrationality should be countered with calm rejection. He accuses you of being a stalker, you say "I don't know you, we're not stalking you, please leave us alone." Doesn't matter what they say after, "stop bothering us" counters it entirely. Your goal is not to persuade him, but leave him without tactical options to continue the conflict.
Saying "Yeah we're in the same space as you but..." is giving too much credence to his line of thought. He's not rational so explaining yourself doesn't work.
Saying "Yeah we're in the same space as you but..." is giving too much credence to his line of thought. He's not rational so explaining yourself doesn't work.