Hi everyone
I've recently been challenged on whether I have a fetish regarding my dating preferences/choices. I'm a white male and almost, though not exclusively, have dated black women. I've been asked to understand why this is the case - and honestly, I don''t know, so wanted to see if different perspectives could help me understand why as I do this introspection.
I don't focus on one characteristic of these women as to why I date them - I've always just said that's my preference, but I realise that's not comforting. Beyond that it's really about the vibe, personality and our interests - especially around music, which is very important to me. Generally in life I pride myself on seeing the whole person (and got a bit emotional when I was talking about that point during this discussion). Further, when I've used dating apps, I've not filtered my preferences by races and have gone on profiles on what I like about that person (both how they're describing themselves, and how they look). This has resulted in some dates with non-black women - but again this has been the exception, rather than the rule.
I also grew up in a working-class, white city - there was very little diversity.
I guess I just want to hear a full range of options, maybe experiences of others (on both sides), and possible resources that I can utilised. I've never been asked this, even during my dating life and when it's come up so this is new for me!
Edit: I should add this convo is with a girl I'm seeing, who is black.
I've recently been challenged on whether I have a fetish regarding my dating preferences/choices. I'm a white male and almost, though not exclusively, have dated black women. I've been asked to understand why this is the case - and honestly, I don''t know, so wanted to see if different perspectives could help me understand why as I do this introspection.
I don't focus on one characteristic of these women as to why I date them - I've always just said that's my preference, but I realise that's not comforting. Beyond that it's really about the vibe, personality and our interests - especially around music, which is very important to me. Generally in life I pride myself on seeing the whole person (and got a bit emotional when I was talking about that point during this discussion). Further, when I've used dating apps, I've not filtered my preferences by races and have gone on profiles on what I like about that person (both how they're describing themselves, and how they look). This has resulted in some dates with non-black women - but again this has been the exception, rather than the rule.
I also grew up in a working-class, white city - there was very little diversity.
I guess I just want to hear a full range of options, maybe experiences of others (on both sides), and possible resources that I can utilised. I've never been asked this, even during my dating life and when it's come up so this is new for me!
Edit: I should add this convo is with a girl I'm seeing, who is black.
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