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I'm so bad at office small talk
- Thread starter Amory
- Start date
OP
OP
It can take a while, I work in a high rise building so the elevators get a lot of work. Sometimes you're waiting for 2 minutes or so before one arrives.
I worried about that sometimes, but people I didn't think liked me teared up when I left! One of my coworkers just messaged me last night saying he was in the office and they were talking about how they wanted me back haha. All I did was in good fun. I don't think I made anyone angry, since I also did a job few could do and cleaned up after people screwing up accounts.
Oh gotcha. Yeah I don't know honestly I'm pretty good at small talk but for elevators it's just like, "What's up? How are you? Good." Inevitably someone asks, "Busy?" and you say "Yeah, you?" and they say "Yup" and it's over.
If you really need things to come up with just ask what they have planned for the weekend or whatever.
<them> Hey, how's it going?
<me> Good, you?
<them> *silence, walks away*
This is somehow with almost everyone at my office. Would it kill you to just bring closure to the meaningless small talk?
<me> Good, you?
<them> *silence, walks away*
This is somehow with almost everyone at my office. Would it kill you to just bring closure to the meaningless small talk?
<them> Hey, how's it going?
<me> Good.
<them> I'm good, thanks
(but I didn't ask you how you were...)
OP
OP
I've had amazing friends from old jobs in different states, some of whom I occasionally still get in touch with. In my current job, I work with one of my two best friends, but besides him, I almost never talk to anyone else.
You tell them "Yo yo saw that latest ep of Kimetsu no Yiaba!?!? Straight fire!!"
Then yell "NEZUKO-CHAN!!!"
Then yell "NEZUKO-CHAN!!!"
We've lost a lot of "third places" in American society so being able to flex our in-person social skills is more challenging. I'm also part of a generation brought up with authority and resulting anxiety that has made it more difficult for me to navigate social situations (Mental health is important, y'all!). I'd even wager younger folks have a larger challenge adapting to the in-person stuff given that most social networks are virtual scattered messes of everyone's highlight reel.
I'm the worst at small talk - I hate it. I'll just say "How's it going?", "Plans for the weekend?" and then just listen to what they say.
This happens to me all the time and I'm always left baffled by it.
While I also hate small talk, I always just treated it like a verbal head nod. Just acknowledging the other person, not expecting a conversation. "Monday's, eh." "Yep." The only problem is the people that expect a tight 5 in response to generic small talk.
When I worked in an office with a bunch of ladies, I found that remembering their kids' names was pretty much 90% of the battle. "So how's Katherine doing?" And then I didn't have to say anything else other than, "Uh-huh," or, "Oh no." It generally worked on the guys, too, but that was a sample size of two, so ymmv. People thought I was coming out of my shell, but if they were paying attention, they'd have realized they knew nothing about me. I found the work-around of engaging others in conversation and growing a sense of camaraderie without sharing anything personal.
I also at least a few times pretended to take a call to not get on the elevator with someone.
I also at least a few times pretended to take a call to not get on the elevator with someone.
I suck at small talk to but a smile and hello is never a bad thing. Carrying on with a conversation is my problem as my short term memory is terrible.
I have similar issues, sex, dating, or sports which is what most people talk about I have no clue what to say other than just use hmm hmm.
Do what I do and just talk about school.
What school did you go to.
Mention how you have exam nightmares
Tell them how you almost failed a class
Bring up how stressful exams are
If they went to same school mention teachers you both know
What classes your taking.
Etc
Etc.
Repeat for different person.
This is why I always hope for fellow nerds and geeks for co workers so we can talk games and memes. Something I'm more knowledgeable in.
Do what I do and just talk about school.
What school did you go to.
Mention how you have exam nightmares
Tell them how you almost failed a class
Bring up how stressful exams are
If they went to same school mention teachers you both know
What classes your taking.
Etc
Etc.
Repeat for different person.
This is why I always hope for fellow nerds and geeks for co workers so we can talk games and memes. Something I'm more knowledgeable in.
Back when I was still working, I always hated office chitchat. But only because I always seemed to work jobs where I was perpetually buried under deadlines, perpetually tight and looming. I simply didn't have time for fucking Joe Cubicle to come over to my workstation and blather endlessly about all the cool shit he was up to over the weekend. Wait till we're all safely clocked out, otherwise get out of my eternally time-pressed way.
