Hey ExhaustedWalrus, sorry you're feeling it again. If you need someone to talk to, please let me know. You can shoot me a PM any time if you need to vent.
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Life is Rough Right Now; Personal Support Thread
- Thread starter ExhaustedWalrus
- Start date
I'm sad to hear that. Try giving the Samaritans a call though? I got the number off the list posted by FnordChan earlier.
Samaritans (Cherepovets): 007 (8202) 577-577
You're not too weak to do it; you're too strong to give up. That may not be how you see it right now, but that's how it is. Please get in touch with someone that can start helping you get out of the pit you're in.
Let's talk about it buddy, I understand the pain, you deserve happiness, everyone does and you can find it!
Edit: sorry, thought you said in another thread that you lost your job recently... my mistake!
Either way, I know things can seem really bleak- especially with things how they are in the world right now, but I promise you- you will get through it and be stronger for it. There are people who care for you deeply, don't hesitate to talk.
Either way, I know things can seem really bleak- especially with things how they are in the world right now, but I promise you- you will get through it and be stronger for it. There are people who care for you deeply, don't hesitate to talk.
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Please speak to somebody OP, whether its us or your fiance or a professional. Feelings aren't facts and they will pass with time and perspective I promise you. Be patient and fair to yourself, would you judge someone else as harshly as you're judging yourself? Be kind to yourself.
We're here for you.
We're here for you.
Hey OP if you need to talk to someone feel free to PM me, I understand how you are feeling but it's not your only option.
I just lost a family member this weekend. Couldn't see them due to covid restrictions, and couldn't talk to them because they were in a coma. This year still doesn't feel real to me. I couldn't imagine this year getting worse, and now it is.
You think you want to die, until you're finally dying. Life is short, enjoy what little time you have left in this world, it's not much. Might as well ride it out until your death comes like it's coming for all of us.
You think you want to die, until you're finally dying. Life is short, enjoy what little time you have left in this world, it's not much. Might as well ride it out until your death comes like it's coming for all of us.
Whenever I feel like death would solve it all, I give myself the permission to seek consideration from others. Also...
I give myself the permission to curse life, curse God, curse even my loved ones. Curse the world for all of its bads.
If I still feel like dog shit the next day, I seek professional help.
"Just seek professional help" sounds so demoralizing, and like one of those "Just be happy" dumbass statements... but it actually is just a phone call away.
There are no second chances when it comes to your life, OP
I give myself the permission to curse life, curse God, curse even my loved ones. Curse the world for all of its bads.
If I still feel like dog shit the next day, I seek professional help.
"Just seek professional help" sounds so demoralizing, and like one of those "Just be happy" dumbass statements... but it actually is just a phone call away.
There are no second chances when it comes to your life, OP
OP
OP
i didn't lose my job. I was treated like shit by my coworkers and now I am looking for something else. I lack the confidence to do anything. I have a phone interview tomorrow and I feel like, what's the point. I'm not going to get this job. I'm gonna be a contractor for the rest of mt fucking life.
i don't have very many friends. I have 2 good friends but I feel like a loser. I keep thinking about how I will probably only have 3 groomsmen at my wedding and look like a fucking loser. No one cares about me enough to do it. And I don't know how to make friends. I live alone and barely get to see my fiancé. I am scared to get married because deep down I don't know if this is who I wanna spend the rest of life with.
i don't have very many friends. I have 2 good friends but I feel like a loser. I keep thinking about how I will probably only have 3 groomsmen at my wedding and look like a fucking loser. No one cares about me enough to do it. And I don't know how to make friends. I live alone and barely get to see my fiancé. I am scared to get married because deep down I don't know if this is who I wanna spend the rest of life with.
You found love at your lowest point. If you can do that, you can make it one more day and the next.
Going to try and give some advice. You probably need to get off of here or other social media. It does not seem to be doing you any good. You were pass over on a promotion, it happens. Successful people are not automatically given every promotion. There is failure there as well. You are still young, if your current field isn't doing it for you, you need to to go to night school and look at doing something that you do enjoy and that is going to provide you with a comfortable life.
You need to also look into if marriage was something you wanted to do or you have gone through with it as a crutch. If you think its the later then you might want to reconsider. If the marriage is something you still want to go through with, work on maybe eloping and just do a little ceremony. You don't have to have the typical 5 plus groomsmen plus speeches from them if you don't want to.
You are focusing so much on how others see you that it is literally killing you. You got to let stuff go and work on you and fuck what others think. If not you are just going to be treading water your whole life and that is not the way anyone wants to live.
You need to also look into if marriage was something you wanted to do or you have gone through with it as a crutch. If you think its the later then you might want to reconsider. If the marriage is something you still want to go through with, work on maybe eloping and just do a little ceremony. You don't have to have the typical 5 plus groomsmen plus speeches from them if you don't want to.
You are focusing so much on how others see you that it is literally killing you. You got to let stuff go and work on you and fuck what others think. If not you are just going to be treading water your whole life and that is not the way anyone wants to live.
I understand the pain and struggle of dealing with life's obstacle course.
Don't do it. It won't fix anything. Seek professional help. PM me if you want.
Don't do it. It won't fix anything. Seek professional help. PM me if you want.
Having even a single good friend means you're not a loser. That's extremely rare. Plenty of people have plenty of friends but do you think people have a lot of good friends? They don't.
You seen very sincere here and I suspect you're super easy to get along with in person.
You won't be a contractor your whole life. You have identified it as something you don't want and you're actively trying to address it. You will land a permanent staff spot. Just give yourself some time.
It's a bad day, no sense in trying to clear up everything today but just know that there are better days ahead.
That sounds like me talking to my CBT therapist. Not everything in life can be the way you want it but what you're saying there doesn't have to be the case with the right help.
You found someone that said that said yes to your proposal. That alone is proof you've got guts and can win someone's heart. The doubt always comes around like a boomerang, but let it miss you. You are stronger than you give yourself credit.
But you have a King of the Hill avatar which means you have impeccable taste. That enough for me to be on your side!
Do you have a favorite episode? I just watched the one where Bobby keeps kicking people in the junk.
Do you have a favorite episode? I just watched the one where Bobby keeps kicking people in the junk.
My man, I want you to know that your willingness — and in my mind, bravery — to actually speak your thoughts aloud no matter how many times they've returned, is admirable. And I think it also says that you'll get through this, too. You can have doubts, you can have worries, that's okay. Your fiancé and friends care. We care. Are we internet strangers? Sure. But you are noticed, and I/we do care. Every time I see you post in another thread, I think, "I hope he's having a better day, today."
You're strong, and you'll get through this like the other times. I wish you luck with your interview, and hope you have a better day on the near horizon.
You're strong, and you'll get through this like the other times. I wish you luck with your interview, and hope you have a better day on the near horizon.
PMs are always open, OP.
Don't worry about your coworkers. If they're dicks, they're dicks. And don't sweat your phone interview. When I was job hunting, no joke, I applied to over 100 places. Shit was demoralizing, especially if I got an interview that didn't pan out. One interview went awful. I did some technical work, they asked me how it went, I said I thought it was okay. A few things to improve on, but the person I presented to was pretty engaged and seemed super happy. They said "well I thought it was pretty awful." Oooof. Took the wind out of my sails. I'm totally over it now though 😃 (I think about it every few weeks 😒)
But I eventually found my spot. Love my job now, good coworkers, performance is appreciated by the team. It has its downs for sure, but I'm rolling with the punches. You can totally do it. And again, PM me any time
Don't worry about your coworkers. If they're dicks, they're dicks. And don't sweat your phone interview. When I was job hunting, no joke, I applied to over 100 places. Shit was demoralizing, especially if I got an interview that didn't pan out. One interview went awful. I did some technical work, they asked me how it went, I said I thought it was okay. A few things to improve on, but the person I presented to was pretty engaged and seemed super happy. They said "well I thought it was pretty awful." Oooof. Took the wind out of my sails. I'm totally over it now though 😃 (I think about it every few weeks 😒)
But I eventually found my spot. Love my job now, good coworkers, performance is appreciated by the team. It has its downs for sure, but I'm rolling with the punches. You can totally do it. And again, PM me any time
If it helps I had no groomsmen at my wedding and don't have many friends myself. How could you feel like a loser with 3? Do people have more than that?
Also you should stop concerning yourself with what others think or might think. You're creating your own stress doing that.
As for the last part, that is something you need to decide for yourself. If you're not ready or unsure then wait. Nobody can make you do anything you don't want to do, especially something like a lifetime commitment.
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ExhaustedWalrus, PM me if you want. Depression fucking sucks. I struggle with it every day. I'm constantly burdened by that, anxiety and imposter syndrome in my career. However, there is still good out there, even when it seems like most of the time, things are shit. You matter, and I hope you'll PM me if you ever want to talk.
ExhaustedWalrus I've felt worthless too, and contemplated the unimaginable, but trust me, it gets better. #pinkiepromise.
I only had two. And if anyone wants to judge you for how many groomsmen you have, they're a jerk...and who cares what jerks think?
Please hang in there. If you enjoy the company of your future married partner, then surely wonderful things are in store for you soon.
I felt this way for a while, I mentioned it to my primary care doctor, and she got me hooked up with a therapist. We went through some cognitive behavioral therapy for about a year and it made a profound difference in my thought patterns and how I felt about myself. There's not one answer for everyone, but getting some professional help is a first step at least.
You NEED to speak honestly about your pain to as many people as you can. You have to survive this struggle. This isn't suffering, it's living with pain. Suicide isn't a solution to a problem, it IS a problem. You don't have to die, disappear, or anything as extremely as you think has to happen.
If possible, get professional help. And speak honestly.
If possible, get professional help. And speak honestly.
If things weren't shit, hypothetically if there was hope, what would you want ExhaustedWalrus ? If you had a clean slate what would you want to do? Is there something you would want to make? Something you would want to be? Something you would want to see? If you pretend for a moment that these are not out of reach, what would you want?
OP
OP
If I could do anything I'd be a professional drummer. I've been drumming since I was 13, and it's one of my biggest passions in life.
I feel this way for decades now. Only thing really keeping me from going through with it is using constant distraction, such as a hobby or watching/listening to shit. Any time you're left to just think about things too much it can snowball hard.
Do not do this.
Call someone, anyone.
You are truth, you are life, and you are love. Things will get better, if you need someone to talk to DM me.
Call someone, anyone.
You are truth, you are life, and you are love. Things will get better, if you need someone to talk to DM me.
That's amazing. I wish I had some musical talent. I'm a huge classic rock nerd and love Neil Peart and Keith Moon. I'll sometimes listen to their isolated drum tracks and wish I could really follow it like a drummer. Having a passion is a wonderful thing even if it's just for you.
OP
OP
I have a kit. I'm also in a cover band and we play gigs around my city.
I can post specifics of the kit if you'd like
Sounds like you already are a professional if the gigs pay. What level of pro do you want to be if it's more than this? Would also love to see the kit. Cover band got an insta/twitter to follow?
That's dope, dude! Playing the drums always looked like a ton of fun.
Hang in and see what happens. You and I feel the same way about politics, comedy, and who knows what else? We need more of us.
we'd all love to hear more about your drumming! i'm a big fan of jaki liebezeit, drummer for Can. give him a look some time :)
Have you thought about becoming a percussion teacher?
I know two drummers who play professionally. That is what they love to do, their other jobs are just to get by. I have a lot of musician friends and that is true for all of them, in fact.
The one drummer I know who made his music his full-time career became a teacher. It was a lot of hard work but he's very happy.
Care to post some videos of you drumming? Would love to watch you do your thing!