Okay so not the kind of thread I'd typically make, but I'm really trying to become more open about my sexuality and generally much more sex-positive than I have been in the past, and Era seems pretty receptive to sharing and discussing this kind of stuff, so here goes.
For whatever reason, I've had a growing number of younger guys (18-22) on Grindr and Sniffies pursue me. A couple of them - aged 21 and 22 - have succeeded, and we've fooled around. (I have not met with any 18-20-year-olds but have been pursued, at times aggressively, by them.) As a 35-year-old who hasn't really messed around much with guys of this age, it's kind of a strange experience. I've struggled with my weight throughout my life, but through diet and an intense lifting and running regimen, I've gotten to a point where I get frequently complimented on my looks and physical build. I still have some excess skin from my weight loss and a bit of a spare tire of fat to lose around my midsection that causes me a fair amount of anxiety about my appearance, but suffice it to say that I'm much more attractive and confident about my appearance than I ever have been. And perhaps because I'm both in better shape than I used to be and because I'm getting older, guys in their early 20s seem to be more into me than I've ever experienced.
I have a lot of reservations with hooking up with younger guys - a lot of them relating to the fact that I work at a university. I know the ways in which young adults in this age range are and are not emotionally mature, and the last thing I ever want to do is cause them pain or exploit any kind of power differential. I am extremely careful in this area, both morally and practically, as I have to make sure I am not violating any kind of policy if I hook up with a student at my university. (The policy is pretty straightforward; I need to strictly avoid sexual relationships with anyone that I advise/supervise or could advise/supervise in the future.) I never initiate contact with guys in this age range. If they reach out to me, I might respond, but I'm basically never going to be the one reaching out first. Honestly, even just talking about this makes me feel uncomfortable, but I do think I've established a pretty solid and ethical protocol for handling this kind of thing, and I've certainly not violated any kind of law or policy set by my employer. (Though if anyone here thinks any of this sounds ethically suspect, I can certainly see where you're coming from and I'm open to critique.)
Anyways, at this point in life, I've had plenty of sex. Not a brag - just a reality. Bad sex, great sex, and sex that falls somewhere in between. (Which is most of it.) And when you have sex, you realize that sex isn't porn. Sometimes you don't get off. Sometimes your partner doesn't get off. It's almost always awkward and messy in some fashion, but it can also be passionate and perfect. It really falls all over the map, and you learn to roll with it and not stress out when things aren't as magical as you'd hoped.
On to the main part of the story: I messed around with a 21-year-old guy this morning, and we had a lot of fun. This dude claimed to be a top and told me on Sniffies that he wanted to top me, but once he arrived and we had gotten started, I realized he had a nice ass and I offered to eat him out. And he loved it. Like, just really loved it. And he seemed really surprised by how much he enjoyed it - to the point where I'm not entirely sure if he'd ever had his ass eaten before. I fingered him as well, which he also seemed to like, though not as much as the rimming. He didn't say he was new to these things - it seems like guys never want to paint themselves as sexually inexperienced - but his reactions seemed to indicate that it was either his first time getting rimmed or that I was better at it than other guys who had done it to him. I didn't ask him, but I was curious if he had ever bottomed before, because I think he'd be less of a strict top than he thinks he is.
All that said, although he was able to get pretty hard, he was having problems staying hard, and in the end did not top me or ejaculate. And he was so apologetic about it. He said he was stressed about some personal things and was also in a bit of a hurry - and assured me that it wasn't because he didn't find me attractive. (It was pretty clear that he did - because we made out pretty passionately and aggressively throughout.) I reassured him that it was totally, completely fine. Sex is what it is, and as long as we both had fun, that's all that matters. (For what it's worth, I actually didn't get off, either, but it was still really fun.) Regarding his erection issues - I have a few silicone cock rings in my bedside drawer, which I have found very helpful for staying hard, and explained to him how to use them. I also pulled out some lube for when I was fingering him, and this also seemed somewhat novel to him. He made an admiring comment about how I seemed "pretty kinky," and I laughed, because cock rings and lube are about as vanilla as it gets when it comes to sex supplies and gear.
In the end, I got the sense that this was a unique experience for him - both because of his clear pleasure at experiencing annilingus, his anxiety over performance issues, and the fact that I had the opportunity to show him how to use some basic form of sexual enhancement. I've never felt like I'm all that great at any of this stuff, but both the realization that I seem to be becoming attractive to a set of guys who never really seemed interested in me - and the fact that apparently I have a level of sexual skill and wisdom that less experienced guys find compelling - is just kind of surreal.
Not sure if I'll ever hook up with this guy again. I told him that he's under absolutely no pressure to reach out to me again, but if he does, I'll respond. It was honestly one of the strangest (in a good way, I think) sexual experiences I've ever had.
Has anyone else experienced something like this, i.e., provided a sexual experience that might have been significant for someone else? How did you react to it?
For whatever reason, I've had a growing number of younger guys (18-22) on Grindr and Sniffies pursue me. A couple of them - aged 21 and 22 - have succeeded, and we've fooled around. (I have not met with any 18-20-year-olds but have been pursued, at times aggressively, by them.) As a 35-year-old who hasn't really messed around much with guys of this age, it's kind of a strange experience. I've struggled with my weight throughout my life, but through diet and an intense lifting and running regimen, I've gotten to a point where I get frequently complimented on my looks and physical build. I still have some excess skin from my weight loss and a bit of a spare tire of fat to lose around my midsection that causes me a fair amount of anxiety about my appearance, but suffice it to say that I'm much more attractive and confident about my appearance than I ever have been. And perhaps because I'm both in better shape than I used to be and because I'm getting older, guys in their early 20s seem to be more into me than I've ever experienced.
I have a lot of reservations with hooking up with younger guys - a lot of them relating to the fact that I work at a university. I know the ways in which young adults in this age range are and are not emotionally mature, and the last thing I ever want to do is cause them pain or exploit any kind of power differential. I am extremely careful in this area, both morally and practically, as I have to make sure I am not violating any kind of policy if I hook up with a student at my university. (The policy is pretty straightforward; I need to strictly avoid sexual relationships with anyone that I advise/supervise or could advise/supervise in the future.) I never initiate contact with guys in this age range. If they reach out to me, I might respond, but I'm basically never going to be the one reaching out first. Honestly, even just talking about this makes me feel uncomfortable, but I do think I've established a pretty solid and ethical protocol for handling this kind of thing, and I've certainly not violated any kind of law or policy set by my employer. (Though if anyone here thinks any of this sounds ethically suspect, I can certainly see where you're coming from and I'm open to critique.)
Anyways, at this point in life, I've had plenty of sex. Not a brag - just a reality. Bad sex, great sex, and sex that falls somewhere in between. (Which is most of it.) And when you have sex, you realize that sex isn't porn. Sometimes you don't get off. Sometimes your partner doesn't get off. It's almost always awkward and messy in some fashion, but it can also be passionate and perfect. It really falls all over the map, and you learn to roll with it and not stress out when things aren't as magical as you'd hoped.
On to the main part of the story: I messed around with a 21-year-old guy this morning, and we had a lot of fun. This dude claimed to be a top and told me on Sniffies that he wanted to top me, but once he arrived and we had gotten started, I realized he had a nice ass and I offered to eat him out. And he loved it. Like, just really loved it. And he seemed really surprised by how much he enjoyed it - to the point where I'm not entirely sure if he'd ever had his ass eaten before. I fingered him as well, which he also seemed to like, though not as much as the rimming. He didn't say he was new to these things - it seems like guys never want to paint themselves as sexually inexperienced - but his reactions seemed to indicate that it was either his first time getting rimmed or that I was better at it than other guys who had done it to him. I didn't ask him, but I was curious if he had ever bottomed before, because I think he'd be less of a strict top than he thinks he is.
All that said, although he was able to get pretty hard, he was having problems staying hard, and in the end did not top me or ejaculate. And he was so apologetic about it. He said he was stressed about some personal things and was also in a bit of a hurry - and assured me that it wasn't because he didn't find me attractive. (It was pretty clear that he did - because we made out pretty passionately and aggressively throughout.) I reassured him that it was totally, completely fine. Sex is what it is, and as long as we both had fun, that's all that matters. (For what it's worth, I actually didn't get off, either, but it was still really fun.) Regarding his erection issues - I have a few silicone cock rings in my bedside drawer, which I have found very helpful for staying hard, and explained to him how to use them. I also pulled out some lube for when I was fingering him, and this also seemed somewhat novel to him. He made an admiring comment about how I seemed "pretty kinky," and I laughed, because cock rings and lube are about as vanilla as it gets when it comes to sex supplies and gear.
In the end, I got the sense that this was a unique experience for him - both because of his clear pleasure at experiencing annilingus, his anxiety over performance issues, and the fact that I had the opportunity to show him how to use some basic form of sexual enhancement. I've never felt like I'm all that great at any of this stuff, but both the realization that I seem to be becoming attractive to a set of guys who never really seemed interested in me - and the fact that apparently I have a level of sexual skill and wisdom that less experienced guys find compelling - is just kind of surreal.
Not sure if I'll ever hook up with this guy again. I told him that he's under absolutely no pressure to reach out to me again, but if he does, I'll respond. It was honestly one of the strangest (in a good way, I think) sexual experiences I've ever had.
Has anyone else experienced something like this, i.e., provided a sexual experience that might have been significant for someone else? How did you react to it?
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