I need help with my mother, she's fallen in to the alt-right crowd and as my carer things are getting really hard.

[EatChildren]

If youre comfortable PMing me the community or region you live in I can do aome research for you and assess your options. Im a worker for a social service organisation based in Melbourne, specialising in homelessness, and should have some national resources on the best avenues to pursue additional support. Just let me know, as help is out there.

 

[ProfessorLobo]

We kind of need which country you're in.

Thank God you're not in the US, but a lot of other countries should be able to help you out a little bit.

 

[Mekanos]

We kind of need which country you're in.

Thank God you're not in the US, but a lot of other countries should be able to help you out a little bit.

Click to shrink...

OP already posted that they're in Australia.

 

[darz1]

Holy shit dude you are in a tight spot, but its not hopeless. Most youth services cut off at 25, but you are entitled to NDIS. If you have an ABI and your mum is your carer she will have alot of say over your life. If services to ypur community are limited it makes it even harder to break from your mum, unless you have other family willing to take you in.

But you should definitely have your own NDIS worker. Are you Aboriginal? Depending on which state you are in you might have access to different services.

I wish i could be more helpful but dont give up, i know your situation right now is bleek but there is always a way, you just have to figure it out

 

[Serein]

I don't have any particularly useful advice to add but I hope you can get things sorted out OP.

 

[Snormy]

Are you on the NDIS? If not you should definitely sign up asap.

https://www.ndis.gov.au/

The job of being a carer can be incredibly tough however it is important you maintain your own health and get the medication and support you need before considering how to help your mother. Health complications while trying to help someone else will only complicate things unfortunately.

You might also consider trying Respite Care. They often offer emergency carer assistance and hopefully there is one near you.

https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/find-a-provider/short-term-care

Contacting your local council or centrelink to see what support services are available to you is another option. Centrelink also has multilingual phone service if you or your mother needs it.

Once you have your own concerns squared away you can look towards helping your mother. There are a lot of support for carers too. I can't say how you might approach her in this matter, perhaps you can contact carer line and speak to someone for advice yourself first.

http://www.carersnsw.org.au/how-we-help/support/carer-line/

Most of my knowledge of this comes from services available in NSW but NDIS is nationwide and other states should also have similar services to respite even if under a different name.

 

[Deleted member 14518]

Yeah I'd agree with posters saying you need your independence. You mentioned food and meds; in my country pharmacies and supermarkets do deliveries maybe check that out.

Hopefully some aussies here can help with the social welfare system and get you some good info.

I'm a full time carer for someone in a somewhat similar situation as yourself. But I know the parson I care for can be independent, its fear - completely rational fear - but fear that keeps you trapped in difficult situations sometimes.

Take your time and plan ahead, but take back control of your life and build something for yourself. Get as much outside support as you can but the good sort.

 

[andymoogle]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I dont have much advice to give. But I can tell you that you are definitely not pathetic for relying on your mother at 25. I didn't move out from my parents place until I was 34 due to mental health issues.

Stay strong and gather as much info and advice from this thread as possible. So far it seems that you are willing to do just that. I hope you can get through this.

 

[RoninStrife]

I suggest calling a suicide help line. Not because you are in immediate danger of hurting yourself, but because you do have persistent ideation and suicide helplines have links to lots of other resources. They may be able to get you in contact with other organizations that can provide you with relief and resources.

Click to shrink...

This sounds like a great idea.

 

[Officer Big Mac]

Theres already been a lot of good advice in regards to taking control of your day to day care away from your mom. I dont know enough to recommend specifics unfortunately but changing that relationship is crucial to your long term health.

And you're not pathetic for relying on her or anyone else for help. It takes tremendous courage to face your pain and discomfort every day and I hope you can start to see it that way. And having this involve your mom makes things that much more burdensome. I genuinely hope you can get things to change, OP.

And please use this forum and its dedicated threads on mental health for support. Expressing your anxieties can help take away their power and give perspective.

 

[Triggerhappytel]

Hey Djkhaled, are you okay? I hope you found some of the advice in this topic useful.

 

[Zappy]

Some of the advice in this thread is not very realistic - certainly not with the facts being presented.

Depending upon the level of disability its highly unlikely the state (certainly in the UK and I suspect in Aus too) will replace the functions the OP's mother is currently doing. They might put OP into some sort of special accommodation where their needs can be met but it would depend on the disability and what it amounts to. They might be able to arrange some sort of community support but again that is unlikely to involve the same supply of food, medicines and everything else. And it may be judged that any support requires less independence on the part of the OP - or more - and in either scenario the OP might not be happy.

I'd say that there is a distinction between OP's mothers' "views" and actions. If she refuses to get your medicines then that is absolutely the point you go elsewhere. If on the other hand you simply find her opinions "disturbing" then you might consider whether you have to try and just ignore it as best you can. Because as unpleasant as it sounds - you might find other options unpleasant in more material ways.

Whilst I fully understand the impact it has on your mental health you have to consider that other options may well have a similar or even worse impact.

Finally I'd suggest you try and find some groups of people in similar situations. Either locally or online. And engage. Talking to people might going through similar experiences might help and might empower you to ignore strange views from your mother...perhaps.