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I need help quitting fighting games for good.

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Deleted member 56841

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Basically, I've posted on this forum time and time again about how shitty fighting games make me feel on two separate accounts. The first I had deleted because I wouldn't stop going on about it, and this one I'm trying to do the same with this account.

I keep trying to quit because I know how unhealthy doing anything competitive is for me, I get intensely angry with myself and end up punishing myself psychically. I've torn out hair, nearly dislocated a knee joint, and even starved myself for ever playing badly. The problem is, I keep coming back to fighting games despite knowing how it affects me. I keep telling myself that I'll play for fun instead of playing to win, but I can't ever get it out of my head that winning is the fun. And for some reason, when I play these games locally, I'm completely fine and dont ever feel or get mad at all. I have a blast. But when it comes to playing online, I get irate, and I cant help but feel that my actual value as a human being is measured by my performance in fighting games.

I even stopped drawing for nearly six months to put more times towards playing and have even considered quitting my job to give myself time towards fighting games. I've convinced myself that if I'm not smart enough to be good at fighting games, I'm not smart at all.

How do I quit this genre that only does nothing but give me a hyper competitive mindset? I've already done things like have myself banned from just about any fighting game centric discord available, and I've even told my friends I was going to stop seeing completely because I wanted to keep myself away from fighting games. I'll listen to whatever replies I get, I'm going to have this account deleted too.
 
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Weiss

Weiss

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64,265
You need to speak to a therapist about this. It sounds like you've acclimated too hard to playing games and it's affecting your real life.

For now, unplug all your consoles and put away your games. Create as many barriers as possible towards sitting down and picking up another game.
 
Tbm24

Tbm24

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
16,329
I genuinely recommend a therapist to explore why you feel this way about fighting games. Also, you need a break from games in general. If you don't want to sell your games, definitely give them to a friend to hold on to.
 
PKrockin

PKrockin

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,260
You should sell and/or remove from digital libraries any fighting games you own, if you haven't already.
 

Deleted member 36578

Dec 21, 2017
26,561
kalma said:
You're probably right, I'm a shit person.
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You aren't shit. There are many other things you can excel at in life. Video games aren't important but YOU are and there's way more to life than being good in a fighting game. You should absolutely seek professional help if you can, take care of yourself.
 
Limit

Limit

Avenger
Oct 30, 2017
362
This isn't something a videogame forum can help you with. Seek out a professional.
 
Cordy

Cordy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,351
Yes I think you should seek professional help, absolutely. That's first and foremost.

Secondly, find other games that aren't fighting games and have fun in them. I used to play fighters heavy from my childhood to maybe idk 2015 but I've slowed down with them due to life and due to the fact that I didn't care about the competitive aspect anyway. I started playing more rpgs, more action/adventure titles, just other games that took me out of that. Sure, I still play fighters these days but mostly only for the single-player stuff. You need another game genre to get you out of it because for some reason the competitive aspect is what's getting to you. Why? I don't know why but that professional help can help you figure that out.

Great luck.
 

Normal

Member
Oct 26, 2017
6,296
User Banned (1 Day): Trolling; Previous Warning for Trolling
Win an Evo tournament. Then quit, because you'll realize you peaked. Quit while you're on top!
 
Dreamboum

Dreamboum

Member
Oct 28, 2017
22,865
Your problem is not, and has never been fighting games. When are you seeking help? What do you need to make this step happen?
 
benj

benj

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,833
You need to relinquish control over yourself a bit and put yourself in professional hands. It sounds like this is a serious impediment to your ability to be happy, healthy, and safe, and you need to find ways to address that. It's best if that involves a therapist. This is in no way an indictment of your value as a person, we all just play the hands we're dealt. Your responsibility, in this situation, is to find the help you need for yourself.

Usyren said:
Win an Evo tournament. Then quit, because you'll realize you peaked. Quit while you're on top!
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Bhonar said:
I mean... wat da fuk??
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Awful posts. Why contribute if you're going to be assholes?
 

Deleted member 10551

User requested account closure
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Oct 27, 2017
3,031
kalma said:
Basically, I've posted on this forum time and time again about how shitty fighting games make me feel on two separate accounts. The first I had deleted because I wouldn't stop going on about it, and this one I'm trying to do the same with this account.

I keep trying to quit because I know how unhealthy doing anything competitive is for me, I get intensely angry with myself and end up punishing myself psychically. I've torn out hair, nearly dislocated a knee joint, and even starved myself for ever playing badly. The problem is, I keep coming back to fighting games despite knowing how it affects me. I keep telling myself that I'll play for fun instead of playing to win, but I can't ever get it out of my head that winning is the fun. And for some reason, when I play these games locally, I'm completely fine and dont ever feel or get mad at all. I have a blast. But when it comes to playing online, I get irate, and I cant help but feel that my actual value as a human being is measured by my performance in fighting games.

I even stopped drawing for nearly six months to put more times towards playing and have even considered quitting my job to give myself time towards fighting games. I've convinced myself that if I'm not smart to be good at fighting games, I'm not smart at all.

How do I quit this genre that only does nothing but give me a hyper competitive mindset? I've already done things like have myself banned from just about any fighting game centric discord available, and I've even told my friends I was going to stop seeing completely because I wanted to keep myself away from fighting games. I'll listen to whatever replies I get, I'm going to have this account deleted too.
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You have a hyper competitive mindset. Quitting fighting games won't help, you'll find something else. The behaviours you're showing are a lot worse than standard salt. You probably do need some sort of professional help. Online does make it worse, because of the extra variables of lag/feeling like the other person is cheating. Most folks do get angrier online.

My guess is it's the ranked part of it that drives you nuts. Maybe play a game with more forgiving ranked? That won't solve all the problem, but might make it easier.
 
Robin

Robin

Restless Insomniac
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Oct 25, 2017
3,502
You've identified you need help, which is a great first step. It sounds like it's time to act on that and talk to a professional.
 

Syril

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,895
Well you definitely know how serious this is. The only thing I can think of to do in the meantime while you get help would probably be to get rid of any fighting games you own. I don't know if it's possible on consoles, but on Steam you can have games removed from your account permanently. You can also filter out the tags associated with them so you won't see them while browsing.
 
rpm

rpm

Into the Woods
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
12,356
Parts Unknown
Seek professional help, but in the mean time, I think you should get rid of the fighting games you own
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 56841

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crazyfunster said:
You have a hyper competitive mindset. Quitting fighting games won't help, you'll find something else. The behaviours you're showing are a lot worse than standard salt. You probably do need some sort of professional help. Online does make it worse, because of the extra variables of lag/feeling like the other person is cheating. Most folks do get angrier online.
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I never blame lag for my poor performance, if anything I end up blaming myself for not adapting to those variables.
 
hibikase

hibikase

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Oct 26, 2017
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It wasn't fighting games but I've been there, getting my self-esteem torn to shreds because I decided I wasn't good enough at a certain video game. I kept shitting up that game's OT with my whining, and at one point also made a thread about how it was tearing me apart (that was back on GAF).

I managed to break free eventually after accomplishing a certain goal, which may not be an option for you since fighting games are 1-on-1, but you could keep that in mind.

And if that doesn't work, remember that video games should always be just a hobby and should never become something that defines you as a person.

Good luck!
 
Necromanti

Necromanti

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,550
First of all, stop being so hard on yourself about everything (and stop deleting your accounts). You're not going to be good at everything, and even if you are good at something, you're not going to always win. At the end of the day, you have to train yourself to react to things proportionally (or how to step away and take a breather).

Secondly, go talk to a therapist about developing strategies to manage those feelings in a healthy manner.
 
Giga Man

Giga Man

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 27, 2017
21,232
If you can't drop gaming altogether, drop online gaming. You said it yourself that playing locally is fine for you. Just play local and keep your friends close. Also, seek professional help like others have said. Don't rush into it, though. Take it a few steps at a time.
 
Bhonar

Bhonar

Banned
Oct 31, 2017
6,066
DoubleTake said:
Youre apathetic comment doesnt help anything. Actually contribute or fuck right off.
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benj said:
Awful posts. Why contribute if you're going to be assholes?
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actually what I meant is I wasn't even sure if this was a troll post, given the content. and I don't know their other account, so I hadn't read it before from anyone else

I've never heard of anything like the type of stuff that was posted in the OP, so I couldn't tell if it was troll
 
Ænima

Ænima

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,513
Portugal
If you dont have the will power to quit by urself, seek professional help. Hypnotherapy or some thing like that.

If you want to try by urself, sell/ trade all ur online games, and just buy single player games in the future.

Just a sugestion, im far from being a professional in these things, but thats what i would do in ur place. I think removing the online and competitive element out of ur games, would help you.

I even stopped drawing for nearly six months to put more times towards playing and have even considered quitting my job to give myself time towards fighting games. I've convinced myself that if I'm not smart enough to be good at fighting games, I'm not smart at all.
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This is just wrong. And i dont say it to make u feel better. Being good at something, really good, requires training and natural skill for that specific thing, not everyone has that natural skill or talent, and thats how the human body works. Not all sports player play in the same way even if they train the same amount of hours in the same club, some just have a natural talent that makes them stand out and be superstars.

You should try to spend more time at something you feel good at it, if you like drawing and u have a natural talent for that, just keep at it instead of videogames.
 
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Shan

Shan

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,963
It has been said a lot already but do seek professional help, OP. And if you do, good luck with quitting those sort of games, you can do it.
 
DoubleTake

DoubleTake

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,529
Bhonar said:
actually what I meant is I wasn't even sure if this was a troll post, given the content. and I don't know their other account, so I hadn't read it before from anyone else

I've never heard of anything like the type of stuff that was posted in the OP, so I couldn't tell if it was troll
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If someone is expressing distress the first thing that comes through your mouth shouldnt be wuuuut da fuck? People deal with this type of shit all the time in life, in different forms. Just because it happens to be with fighting games doesnt make it any less real. Go grab some perspective.
 

Deleted member 10551

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Oct 27, 2017
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kalma said:
I never blame lag for my poor performance, if anything I end up blaming myself for not adapting to those variables.
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Try to blame yourself less. Also, sometimes luck plays a factor- a lot of things aren't guaranteed in fighters, and you can guess wrong (that can be being predictable though)

Especially true in Soul Calibur (guessing that's one of your games because of 2B). 3D fighters in general are usually best played over long sets, not single ranked matches.

Maybe you're putting too much of your worth into your performance? This might be a bit personal, but I do the same- because in a lot of ways, I have empty areas in my own life- but is there a lack of fulfillment in your life in general, or a feeling things don't matter?

I do understand where you're coming from, I have a lesser version of it. I just get salty and tend to swear a lot after some losses online and a lot of rage-deleting games.

Also, it might not be lack of brains at fighters, tilt can cause you to act dumb in games. I play differently on tilt.
 
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PKrockin

PKrockin

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,260
kalma said:
I never blame lag for my poor performance, if anything I end up blaming myself for not adapting to those variables.
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Playing games that make you feel like shit and degrade your sense of self-worth is a bad idea. Fuck 'em. Considering quitting your job just to get better at a video game because you can't stand being bad at them is a big red flag that you have an unhealthy obsession or addiction issue. You don't need fighting games. Your mental well being is far more important. Trade 'em in to Gamestop, give 'em to friends, delete 'em off your accounts.
 
Astral

Astral

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
28,115
You're gonna stop seeing your friends too? There must be a better way to go about it than closing your account and not seeing your friends. You're missing out on a lot by giving those things up.
 
thezboson

thezboson

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,251
I can relate, I quit playing fighting games a while ago.
For me it is online VS that is the problem. If I play someone that is sitting next to me it is really fun, but losing (or even winning sometimes) against someone online makes me insane with anger.

I make sure I have other games to play and uninstalled Tekken and SFV from my PS4 and that was enough for me. If you can't quit on your own, you should absolutely get professional help.
 
zoodoo

zoodoo

Member
Oct 26, 2017
12,748
Montreal
I get super nervous playing fighting games online. To the point of it affecting my mood. It's not as bad as yours though. But sometimes it prevents me from sleeping at night. I just completely reduce my time with them and never before going to bed. Now I mostly get my fun watching competetive matches of games I dont really play. Maybe you can switch to do.
But in your case I dont think it's just fighting game. You should seek professional help.
 
Necromanti

Necromanti

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,550
I guess avoiding the things that cause such levels of upset is a good start.

Have a pillow or something with you. The next time you want to be violent toward yourself, direct it all at the pillow. Do not hurt yourself. Let that dumb pillow take it all.
 
OP
OP

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Astral said:
You're gonna stop seeing your friends too? There must be a better way to go about it than closing your account and not seeing your friends. You're missing out on a lot by giving those things up.
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I've already told them how I feel about this stuff and now I know every interaction I with them from now on they will always know me as "that guy with issues." I'd rather isolate myself from now on.
 
Weiss

Weiss

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kalma said:
No
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Hmm. Have you tried researching around your area or you have and nothing has come up at all?

And definitely do not isolate yourself from your friends. You're at a critical juncture and it's important that, now you've recognized the problem, you act on beginning to fix it.
 
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