I miss not having responsibilities (Raw confessions)

[elbageluno]

I don't think my life has ever, really felt that way.

Only for one year, where I dropped out of high school and played Call of Duty 4 for a whole year.

But other than that, I feel like I've always had responsibilities? Whether they be my education or work. When I was younger I certainly didn't feel like I made many meaningful choices about anything, like attending school wasn't a choice and so forth, but I didn't feel like I had infinite free time either.

Click to shrink...

I agree, the "when you're a kid, you have INFINITE FREE TIME" thing has always struck me as a bit odd as I didnt feel that way then and looking back as an adult I still dont. I guess it feels like I have less time now? But I spend only around 90 mins longer at my office job than I did at school during High School.

I will say that college definitely felt like a lot of free time. But thats an exception and of course not everyone goes to college.

 

[AuthenticM]

All the time. I often fantasize about going back to being 10 years old and just reliving my life from there.

 

[CopyOfACopy]

My son has been 16 for a bit and we didn't let him get a job b/c he couldn't yet drive.

He got his license a couple weeks back and is now looking to get a job at a Chinese restaurant (fast food ver). I am against this b/c COVID and the fact that he's only got 1 month before school starts. I'm torn on guidance b/c though it's great that he wants to work, fuck... I just want him to enjoy his summer.

Click to shrink...

Let him know about the "last summer". You dont always realize it till later but at a certain point you will have had your last carefree summer.

 

[JashDen]

Can't say I do. Not having responsibilities tended to lead to long periods of boredom in the house.

 

[DigitalOp]

Playing games leisurely is a retirement activity

 

[Fudgepuppy]

I feel the opposite.

Sure I play less games now, but having responsibilities makes me feel so much more proud of myself in general.

I really recommend this stand-up from Pete Holmes about this: https://youtu.be/Ycn-V2oZOEg

(Warning, it's from 2009 and unfortunately has the R-slur in there)

There are so many things about being a child or teenager that you don't remember or think about. I had constant anxiety because I hated school. I had parents who made me feel incredibly on edge and sad. I couldn't buy what I wanted because I barely had any income.

As an adult, I have way more freedom, and I enjoy it so much more.

 

[ekim]

I'm currently trapped in my appartment due to Covid-19 and it's actually the first time in years I play games for longer than 1-2 hours. I finished Eiyuden Chronicle Rising yesterday and completed all side quests today. lol. It was so mundane but better than doing nothing I guess.

 

[Khezu]

From age 16-26ish, I spent that entire time living at home with my mom playing video games with no job or responsibilities.
I had very little money and could only afford food and sometimes used video games.

I'm 34 and have a decent job and a place of my own.
When I tell people what I did during my 20's, they always ask me if I feel like I wasted my life.
I tell them the truth, that if I had the choice, I would go back to that shit in a heartbeat. It was great, working hard I guess has it's reward, but having literally zero stress, too good to give up.

 

[Cudpug]

Haven't felt super passionate about gaming for a while and other things take priority nowadays...but really, I don't miss playing games a lot in my youth. Good memories but ultimately I can accomplish more / use my time more effectively doing things that aren't gaming.

But I do miss marathoning a game for 6 hours straight...lucky if I get 45 minutes nowadays...

 

[Ra]

Yes, I do wish I was a trust fund kid who could do nothing every day.

 

[deathsaber]

Yeah, for me, it sucks because now at age 43 its even harder- Granted everything changed when I started having kids 15 years ago- the gaming went from happening all day when I wanted to basically happening after 10pm after everyone went to bed.

The thing is, I used to be able to burn the midnight oil, play until 1-2am, get 4-5 hours of sleep and function-ish. But now hitting my mid 40s I'm just tired all the time. I'm usually completely zonked out by 10:30-11pm. The metabolism just changes.. I start playing something at night and the drowsy immediately kicks in. If anything, it would probably be better to just sleep, get up at like 4am and play games until 6:30 when its time to get ready for the day again, but of course me waking at 4am would disturb the rest of the household so I don't do it .

As such, I just get very little quality time anymore for games- that said I still love them, but when I can actually managed 2-3 hours of afternoon gametime on a weekend day, thats absolutely golden- but even that is usually happening with two noisy kids doing everything they can to disrupt that (plus a plethora of other chores I probably should be doing always on the brain)

 

[UraMallas]

As a person who has actively avoided societally normal 'responsibilities' I have carved out a pretty relaxed life at 39. Almost feels like I'm retired already.

I do know the feeling you're talking about OP, and I just decided in my very early 30s to make it so I could go back to that. It took me some years of hell but it is doable. Or, at least, it seems to be working so far.

 

[oni-link]

Saturday morning, you're 12 years old. Your dad has just got back from his trip and has bought you that new game you want. You open the box and admire the cart. You fire up the CRT TV and press the cart into the system

You have 10 cans of Coke and mum is letting your order pizza for lunch. Your plans are to play games, eat junk food & drink soda until the early hours of the morning

This is the happiest you'll ever be. You'll never get this back

 

[Doomguy Fieri]

I would be very sad if tomorrow all my responsibilities disappeared and I could just play vidya or go fishing or whatever all day long. My responsibilities represent a very fulfilling part of my life. Like, being important to other people is why we have responsibilities and I wouldn't give that up.

That being said, despite my responsibilities, I am able to enjoy my free time.

 

[thewienke]

What's helped me recently is reframing my life a bit by admitting to myself that I work jobs and that I'm not chasing a "career". Everything I do at work is to fund my lifestyle outside of work.

I've watched people shoot up the ladder into roles that mean more pay and prestige but also way more hours and more stress. If that's what chasing an "exceptional life" means then I would rather be mediocre. Since opting out of the rat race I've noticed that I feel better on the weekends, I have more energy, and that my blood pressure has dropped like a rock.

My wife and I also don't have kids so that helps quite a bit.

 

[cabelhigh]

I think I feel a bit of the opposite. I grew up in a household where I couldn't play more than 30 minutes a day, on select days of the week. So I had to fill my time with other stuff like school or extra curricular.

As an adult I work a 7-3 job from home, and it gives me way more free time than I ever had as a kid. I feel super lucky in that regard

 

[Grain Silo]

The year I was unemployed where I did little more than play video games and sleep was the worst year of my life, simply because I was just so bored constantly. Games can only take you so far.

As for being a kid and doing it, it's got it's pros and cons. No responsibilities was great, but I also had no money, little freedom, and a curfew. I also couldn't understand the more complex ideas that games were starting to explore until I grew up. I will always treasure my nostalgia, games were absolute marvels to me as a kid and I loved being able to drive into them for hours and hours without worry, but it wasn't a vision of perfection that our nostalgia paints it to be. I'm glad to appreciate it on its own terms.

I work full time but have no kids, which is a good balance for me now. I still get plenty enough game time and I value my days off that much more.

 

[oni-link]

From age 16-26ish, I spent that entire time living at home with my mom playing video games with no job or responsibilities.
I had very little money and could only afford food and sometimes used video games.

I'm 34 and have a decent job and a place of my own.
When I tell people what I did during my 20's, they always ask me if I feel like I wasted my life.
I tell them the truth, that if I had the choice, I would go back to that shit in a heartbeat. It was great, working hard I guess has it's reward, but having literally zero stress, too good to give up.

Click to shrink...

I finished Uni during the recession and spent most of my early 20s out of work and gaming

I managed to get a job and have now doubled my salary in the last 5 years via 3 promotions, I live with my girlfriend and we bought a house together and we're making over payments so we can finish the mortgage before we're in our 50s, then we'll look to retire in our mid 50s. We recused a cat, and then another which I found alone and scared in a bush at work (Jiji, he's in my avatar pic)

I'm happy with where I am in my life, but man, sometimes I miss being a bum who just ate, slept, went for long walks through the countryside and beat a ton of video games

 

[ElCidTmax]

I think it's important to have goals and aspirations outside of work, and not make work the central theme and purpose of your life. You're stuck spending the time on it, but it's good to try to not have it in your thoughts at all times. Easier said than done, but it's key to managing stress. It doesn't solve the limited time issue, so planning ahead/scheduling for games and other things helps. When you schedule, it's a little easier to get in the head space of 'this is my gaming time' so you can enjoy it more when you do have the time.

 

[GreenMonkey]

I have a 2 year old and I have been chipping away at Elden Ring since the end of April. It's the only game I've been playing. I'm 118 hours in. Me of 5 years ago would have been done in a week.

Been playing only one game for months but I'm still buying games like I have all the time in the world :(

Click to shrink...

I'm at about the same point in Elden Ring, and my kids are teenagers.

But I play an hour or two of Overwatch with my online buddies most nights. In between round queue times I can do some cleaning or fold laundry or whatever, so that works out. I guess if I didn't do that I might have more time, but that way I feel like I'm getting some small amount of housework stuff done at the same time.

I also watch an episode or two of TV with my 16 yr old daughter most nights also.

You get a lot more time when the kids get older.

 

[Xiofire]

The constant anxiety that I'm falling behind and not putting enough effort into "improving" myself makes playing games hell sometimes.

When I sit down to play a few hours of something, I'm always thinking about how I could be using this time to better myself, learn a new skill or focus on a more productive activity like writing or programming.

Being an adult sucks.

 

[Darkstorne]

But think how good retirement will be on the PlayStation 9! And sequels are so slow these days you'll only be missing one or two entries in your favourite series between now and then.

I think I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not really sure. If an Elder Scrolls fan woke up from a 10-year coma today and expressed excitement about being able to check out TES 6 and 7...

 

[Booshka]

It would be nice if we could work 16-24 hours a week doing something meaningful that we find purpose in doing and then have the rest of our time for family, community, leisure and entertainment.

Unfortunately that's not the case so many of us feel this way.

 

[YellowBara]

This thread is making me quite grateful for the life I currently do have. Get to play games my way at my leisure thanks to my current (easy) WFH job and haven't lost a drip of my passion for video games and haven't played more in my entire life than these past few years. I do very much hate that so many things in life burn out so many people that they don't have time or energy to enjoy what they want though. Hoping for better and more relaxed situations for those that don't have that luxury.

 

[Alek]

I agree, the "when you're a kid, you have INFINITE FREE TIME" thing has always struck me as a bit odd as I didnt feel that way then and looking back as an adult I still dont. I guess it feels like I have less time now? But I spend only around 90 mins longer at my office job than I did at school during High School.

I will say that college definitely felt like a lot of free time. But thats an exception and of course not everyone goes to college.

Click to shrink...

College was actually where I really started to engage myself and tried to succeed, so I didn't find I had a lot of time at college. I mean, it was all self-directed I guess, so it was my choice and studying longer is still my choice on how to use my free time, but I didn't feel free to mess around all the time and play video games all day.

Maybe a bit in the first year though, because in the UK on some courses you're told that your first year grades don't count towards your final grades, so provided you pass it can become inconsequential what grade you get.

I have had periods where I've engaged with games super heavily. But that's always been depression more so than a lack of responsibilities. Usually I'd be ignoring other important responsibilities during those periods of my life, like I have had periods where I didn't give my partner much attention and things like that. I've recognised that as an issue though and it hasn't been like that for quite a while.

 

[snipeywolf]

I've been out of college for about 4 years now, and the other day I realized I saw someone talking about summer break and I'd forgotten about it. It used to be such an integral part of my life and yearly schedule, and now it's just gone.

I miss just waking up each day for multiple months with nothing to get done, I can do whatever I want. Sleep until 2PM that day? Go for it. Play video games until silly hours? Sure. Go to the beach with my friends? Absolutely.

I miss being a kid and having that carefree comfort and freedom of time.

Click to shrink...

This. I miss this so much. Waking up on a balmy summer afternoon. Curling up on the couch and gaming all day in your PJs. This was everything.

 

[Deleted member 91227]

Wife and I are kid free so I'm still pretty good on the free time thing. Definitely more responsibilities with life, work, relationships, home ownership/maintenance etc. than life through grad school, but definitely can't complain. My job isn't that demanding either so I rarely work more than 40 hours.

 

[Deleted member 91227]

I've been out of college for about 4 years now, and the other day I realized I saw someone talking about summer break and I'd forgotten about it. It used to be such an integral part of my life and yearly schedule, and now it's just gone.

I miss just waking up each day for multiple months with nothing to get done, I can do whatever I want. Sleep until 2PM that day? Go for it. Play video games until silly hours? Sure. Go to the beach with my friends? Absolutely.

I miss being a kid and having that carefree comfort and freedom of time.

Click to shrink...

Yeah I'm a professor and summers are a huge perk. It's not anything like as a student when I was just working part time in the summer as I need to be productive and get research done and articles out as I have more time then, still have some admin work, and sometimes teach a 7 week class for extra pay. But it's still a ton more flexibility than August-April/early May when teaching and having a lot more admin work, meetings etc.

When I'm not teaching, like this summer, I usually just work 3-4 days a week, often not for 8 hours, do a couple staycation type weeks after getting some articles out (doing one this week) etc.

That and the general flexibility is the main perk of the job and what's keeping me here vs. taking a significantly better paying job in the private sector.

 

[Katmeister]

Its fucked up that capitalists have convinced adults that any time not spent being productive (in service to the economy) is wasted time.

The constant anxiety that I'm falling behind and not putting enough effort into "improving" myself makes playing games hell sometimes.

When I sit down to play a few hours of something, I'm always thinking about how I could be using this time to better myself, learn a new skill or focus on a more productive activity like writing or programming.

Being an adult sucks.

Click to shrink...

I know this meaningless from a stranger on the internet but I just want to say, YOU are a enough. You don't need to improve yourself constantly. You should puruse these things because they are fun not out of obligation to better yourself. You only live once, might as well enjoy it.

Focusing on quality of life can also be seen as improvement too. People are more productive when they are happier, so make time for rest and doing fun things.

 

[Skies]

The older I get, I find the most enjoyment is in guilt-free gaming. Meaning you got some work done, spent some quality time with the kids/SO, got some exercise in, and/or finished some household chores. Now you have your well deserved playtime.

Sure there is part of me that misses having 24 hours to play with zero responsibilities, but would gaming stay fresh and enjoyable if you had a full lifetime of just that?

 

[Ciao]

I'm 36, no kids but into my artist journey in drawing, 3D sculpting and trying to get into game dev and tattoo art. And a full day job, social life and fitness. Time is the rarest ressource, and it's hard to try and enjoy games when you feel like you should be grinding instead.

 

[GaussianMultivariate]

It's great for a while but after a certain point, you start feeling like a blob, and depression kicks in.

Source: Someone who has zero responsibilities.

Click to shrink...

I took a sabbatical for the second half of 2021, and I basically just did whatever I wanted with zero responsibilities for 6 months. It was fucking rad.

For a while. Then it started to eat away at me. I missed being in an office with people. I missed the feeling of achievement when doing well in my job.

Though, tbh, now that I'm back at work, I could be convinced to take another sabbatical lol.

Click to shrink...

I can totally see this happening... I guess it's a matter of having the choice. If you can choose when you take up or drop your responsibilities, then you're good. But if you're stuck in your situation, but that's a different story.

 

[Rosebud]

I work as little as I can and refuse to think about work or being productive or competitive when it's done, so it doesn't stresses me

I can't relate with people who feel bad having too much free time at all

 

[Calamari41]

I totally hear that. Sometimes I fantasize about getting a "vacation" where I have a week completely alone with no work or family or anything where I can veg out like I used to.

But really, a 45 minute Shredder's Revenge session with my kids once a week is significantly better than an entire day of playing alone, in my opinion.

 

[NeverWas]

My gf and I game together, so I still manage to squeeze in some decent game time. We just moved to a new house, though, so most of our time is going towards unpacking and organizing right now.

 

[Vee]

Yup, this is me. I work Mon-Fri 8am to 4pm, and to get to work on time, I have to wake up at 5am every day. I get home by 5:30pm every day. Then to do whatever small chores need to be done plus dinner, I don't get to play a game until 6:30pm ish. I only have three hours since I try to sleep by 11pm to get a full six hours.

The weekends are all the major chores I need to do, which usually fills up my whole Saturday. So I only get one day off before the whole thing starts again.

I barely have time to play games; almost no time to watch tv shows or movies.

Being an adult and adult life sucks.

Click to shrink...

This is basically my schedule, only I go to the gym after work which is basically all my free time for gaming or watching a show or something. Because once I get home it's shower,eat dinner, make lunch for work, and try to get 7-8hrs of sleep.

 

[Skies]

Its fucked up that capitalists have convinced adults that any time not spent being productive (in service to the economy) is wasted time.



I know this meaningless from a stranger on the internet but I just want to say, YOU are a enough. You don't need to improve yourself constantly. You should puruse these things because they are fun not out of obligation to better yourself. You only live once, might as well enjoy it.

Focusing on quality of life can also be seen as improvement too. People are more productive when they are happier, so make time for rest and doing fun things.

Click to shrink...

It took me having kids to realize this.

It's great to strive for different things, but always nice to have a remainder that life can be more than just climbing a ladder.

 

[MechaMarmaset]

I like adult life. I don't have kids so the responsibilities are easy as fuck compared to high school and college.

I always had one or two jobs on top of school and homework and all the normal chores you have to do anyway. I haven't had this much free time since 9th grade (last time i had a summer off). And my chores get split with my husband so i don't have to do all of them by myself like when I lived alone.

Yardwork sucks though. I do miss not having to do that.

 

[Tophat Jones]

Reminds me of this Reddit thread I saw yesterday:

Reddit - Dive into anything

www.reddit.com

These comments were a downer

 

[Griffith]

I haven't as much stopped enjoying games but I stopped having the energy to enjoy them. When I get some free time, it feels like most of it is taken up by some form of a chore and when your bank account gets drained just by typical bills and things that need repair to upkeep, by the time you're done with it all and sit down with some actual spare time, the energy just isn't there.

 

[hikarutilmitt]

I don't feel that having "adult" responsibilities broke my ability to enjoy things, it merely changed them a bit. To the point where I look back fondly at the games I played and the time I spent on most of them, but also realize why I cannot and do not play certain games these days. It also gave me more clarity on why I don't like a lot of game trends (and haven't for a few generations) because a lot of the games don't really feel like labors of love or making something exciting, instead of just corporations pushing something they made down my throat.

There was a weird gap in time where I was incredibly disinterested in most new gaming because stuff like AssCreed was all the rage and indie games hasn't quite found their footing like they have now. Whereas I play more indie or just niche games these days than "bigger" titles. Or I just end up playing Japanese stuff like I always did, because most western stuff is just boring as hell, to me.

It really, really doesn't help that some games are a legit slog to play, now, compared to stuff I grew up with and I'd rather do or play something else.

 

[Bengraven]

I feel the opposite.

Sure I play less games now, but having responsibilities makes me feel so much more proud of myself in general.

I really recommend this stand-up from Pete Holmes about this: https://youtu.be/Ycn-V2oZOEg

(Warning, it's from 2009 and unfortunately has the R-slur in there)

There are so many things about being a child or teenager that you don't remember or think about. I had constant anxiety because I hated school. I had parents who made me feel incredibly on edge and sad. I couldn't buy what I wanted because I barely had any income.

As an adult, I have way more freedom, and I enjoy it so much more.

Click to shrink...

Yeah that's the catch-22.

I miss having no job and playing games all day, running around the neighborhood with my friends when I had a large group of friends. Had family before politics broke it up, before my grandma died. I missed exploring and dreaming.

But it's easy to think of this and not think of your life being also completely out of your control. I had bullies, I couldn't walk my block without bullies pulling up on me. My own friends would sometimes Fuck me over. We were low income so my house was always hot and cold as fuck in the winter. Reeked because no one but the kids(when we had time) would clean it and my parents let it become gross and both were hoarders. (Mom still is)

When I moved out and had more responsibilities but wasn't a dad yet I could game all day, have the peace of a calm home, a clean home, but I also had loud neighbors, asshole landlords, surprise bills.

 

[GlitchyDegree]

I feel the opposite to be honest. Work has it's stressful moments, and summer break isn't a thing anymore. But it feels like I actually have more time to game now that I don't have to worry about school or tests.

 

[JudgmentJay]

I'm almost 40 and I feel like I have more than enough time for video games. Right now I wake up at 11am and work (from home) until anywhere between 5 and 7. After that my time is my own until I go to bed somewhere between 2 and 4am. Yesterday I played 2 hours of Stray and 5 hours of FF7R after work. I live together with my girlfriend but we're both very introverted. Occasionally we'll play or watch something together but most of the time we're content doing our own thing.

I can only assume that all these "responsibilities" are kid related. My gf and I alternate cleaning the house every other week and I mow the grass once every 3 weeks. Those are the only responsibilities/chores I have. I can't say I've ever felt like I should be doing something more productive when playing video games either.

 

[ghibli99]

48 and married here, so I feel this to a certain extent, but I always have time for at least some gaming per day. Just means I don't blast through games the way I did when I was younger. Being older also means I don't have the same energy to stay up until 3AM and then wake up the next day and function just fine. But it's such a gradual thing that I barely ever notice it. If anything, it makes me more selective about what I choose to play.

That being said, I sure do miss those 3-month summer vacations. LOL

 

[UraMallas]

I don't think I've ever once thought "I should be doing something else" when playing games. That might be a big part of it. I know OTHER PEOPLE in my life have thought that, but I'm content to be content with the things I like to do.

The biggest enemy to my free time is just being tired more often now. I'm getting old.

 

[DiceyRobot]

I feel like this is essentially just wishing you can have a perfect life where there are no tradeoffs and you can just have your cake and eat it too...which, sure, everyone wishes that.

Tradeoffs are just part of life though. As you get older and gain certain freedoms, you're restricted in other freedoms. Might as well complain about having to pay taxes or whatever, just feels pointless like saying you want to live in a fantasy.

 

[Wil Grieve]

Oh yeah, absolutely. Staying up all night doing a knife-only run of Resident Evil 4 just because I had the time, absolutely.

But, I don't have kids - so I feel like I've got a pretty excellent work-life balance. One of the perks of being gay.

 

[Revoltoftheunique]

I work as little as I can and refuse to think about work or being productive or competitive when it's done, so it doesn't stresses me

I can't relate with people who feel bad having too much free time at all

Click to shrink...

This is basically my attitude lol. I feel like I have always had many responsibilities. I remember struggling going to school for the day, then having to finish homework and study for tests. That left little free time. Now I got work. Little free time again. So screw it. I'm going to do the least work I can and make time for myself.

 

[juxjuxjux]

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rerBnAKPn0