I Have a Really Tough Time Indulging in Games That Aren't Actively Part of the "Current Social Discussion"

[KtotheRoc]

Sometimes I don't play games right away. I play well after the hype has moved on. It can be freeing once you stop caring about trying to keep up with everyone else.

(And sometimes I do play games right away, and get into discussions with other players.)

 

[jstevenson]

water-cooler games are the new water-cooler TV shows

 

[Procheno]

I'm no psychologist, but I believe this feeling might be tied to a sense of loneliness and the feeling someone just needs to fit into the "crowd" or else you're "behind the times" or you're "alone and out of the conversation" like an oddball. I sense it's very much a social media effect like you think it is. Again, no tangible proof, just a hunch on logic I've been thinking about myself. In the same way someone wants their post to get 100 likes vs 5 likes. It's a feeling of inclusion and unfortunately a sense of false popularity. It's feels like you're popular, but in reality it's kinda meaningless.

It may be affecting more than just your gaming habits. Maybe you could look into it more. I'm not trying to say anything mean, and I apologize if it comes off that way. It's just my thoughts on the matter at hand, me trying to process the emotional logic. I hope you can overcome the feeling

 

[applejuice]

I hate feeling like I have to keep up with others so I go at my own pace and play what interests me. I play visual novels mostly and that player base is tiny as it is. So many people fly through new VNs that by the time I finish no one wants to talk about them anymore, they probably don't listen to the voice acting (half the fun).

When it comes to open world games, I'm a bit burnt out on them so I don't play the popular ones until later, when everyone has long forgotten them. Notable example was Dragon Age.

 

[yyr]

For instance, a neat little fighting game that I really enjoyed playing called Override: Mech City Brawl came out not even a month ago, and I couldn't force myself to keep playing it beyond a day or so because I noticed I was already in the top 200 leaderboards in the world with minimal effort. It made me feel like my time with it isn't amounting to anything, and that I should migrate to something that "matters in the grander scheme" despite myself enjoying it quite a bit.

Click to shrink...

Personally, I play arcade games and arcade-style games, along with a variety of things off my miles-long backlog, so I'm used to missing the discussions on the latest big games. I might never play Fortnite. And I'm OK with that. The good news is, every niche has its community. I play a lot of DanceDanceRevolution and In The Groove. There is a community for that, so there's always someone to share accomplishments and discuss the game with.

Anyway, enough about me. If you *really* want to look at the grander scheme...

In the long run, the actual time we spend with video games ultimately doesn't matter. When people pass, nobody will be remembered for the specific video games they enjoyed playing, how long those games were played for, or how many people enjoyed those games. What *does* matter is the enjoyment we derive from the games we play, whether it's from playing the games directly, watching other people play those games, discussing those games with others, etc. Our enjoyment enriches our lives and makes us happier, which in turn puts us in a better position to enrich the lives of others.

In other words, figure out what thing(s) make you happiest, and then do what YOU want to do. If you're a social type of gamer who derives the most overall enjoyment from playing what everyone else is playing--because you're adding the enjoyment of playing the game to the enjoyment of the discussion of said game--then by all means, do that. If you'd rather play other games because you enjoy those more, do that instead. Or, you can play a mix of those types of games, if that makes you happiest.

Also, don't worry about whether your behavior is "normal" or not. You're you. I'm me. Everyone else is their own person. There is no "normal," only "average." People's opinions on the entertainment preferences of others are mostly irrelevant (as long as they're not hurting anyone).

tl;dr: You do you.

 

[super moustique]

It's not something I pride myself in, I wish I didn't feel it, and I don't know how to "fix" it.

Click to shrink...

Stop that social media thing, play what you wanna play and have fun !

 

[Deleted member 16908]

I feel this with multiplayer games but I'm just fine playing older singleplayer titles.

For example, I dumped 60+ hours into Persona 3 FES this past summer, but I passed on buying BlazBlue Cross Tag Battle because I knew the PC playerbase would fade quickly. Hard to be motivated to get good at a competitive game when nobody else is playing it.

 

[JCHandsom]

I'm like the exact opposite; I usually don't go into a game until I know exactly what I'm in for (not necessarily spoilers mind you, just if it's good/I'll like it) and I know I'll get a good price on it, so I'm always late to the party. Usually I'll pay attention to the conversation surrounding the hot new release and then play it when I get the chance.

 

[GNTsquid]

I actually avoid any current discussion about new games.

Example: Red Dead Redemption 2. Its the current new hotness but I wont look up shit about it because everyones experience with the game differs so much. With each person discovering secrets, random encounters or side missions in different orders something is bound to be spoiled for you. With certain games until I feel i've seen most of a game or at least as much as I care to see I avoid any videos or threads related to them.

I also dont like the idea of rushing through a game to finish the story so I can talk about it with strangers while its still 'new' and not worry about spoilers.

 

[Deleted member 49783]

instead of trying to think of games in this bigger framework, start thinking internally; what does this game do for you? does it keep you entertained? is it an engaging story? does it change how you view the world? try to frame the experiences from how it impacts you rather than everyone, otherwise you miss out on some amazing games, hell there maybe a game only you have played and will cherish

 

[AdiGrateles]

I have the opposite problem funnily enough. The more hyped something is, the less I'm inclined to play it. Comes from some weird underlying elitist part of my personality i think.

Maybe you should try to take the same mindset, something like "forget all those plebs wasting their time with RDR2, I know the real hidden gems like Override: Mech City Brawl!".

Click to shrink...

It can reach a point, though, where you'll want to share your love for Override: Mech City Brawl somewhere but you don't know (and can't find) anyone to gush about it with. There are a lot of things I love that most communities I frequent haven't even mentioned, and there are many things a general userbase (e.g. ERA) will always talk about that I don't actively care for.

I'm content with just getting the word out on whatever stuff I've fancied, even if no one actively expresses any interest in response. I'd like to assume there could be at least one person out there who's stumbled upon a post of mine and got into some real hidden gem that they've never seen before.

 

[BringBackSonics]

That sort of sucks OP, and I'm glad I'm
Not in that same boat

 

[Turin Turambar]

Wow, so you are some kind of anti-hipster, I guess. :P

I get preferring to play the most popular, current games to, in addition of enjoying the game, also enjoy the ongoing discussion in the forum, etc.
But you sound as if you literally don't have as much fun playing a game because somewhere in the back of your mind know it's a small, not popular one.

 

[clickKunst]

I can appreciate this sentiment as I'm currently messing with PC emulation during my annual leave holiday. There is some overwhelming feeling of cognitive dissonance that comes with playing a video game that you can't really share with anyone outside of a passing reference because it is likely not to interest them. It's with these games that it really becomes clear with how much of a time waster this hobby really is.

Anyway - enough of that. Hey guys, look at the game I'm currently playing!

 

[Deleted member 11038]

Sometimes i feel the same but i fight this feeling, because otherwise i should be there with every big release and i just can't. Even with a game like Kingdom Hearts III i decided to wait a bit more after its release date because i'm already playing Dragon Quest XI right now and i don't want to play two big titles at the same time, but i am feeling like i will miss some sort of gaming event.

Anyway, for me it's not so bad that i can't enjoy every game if it's more than one month old. After the hype has subsised i can easily wait for months or even years. I played Persona 5 one year later, stilll have to play God of War, and can still enjoy wonderful games from the past like Ps1 and Ps2 Jrpgs.

 

[Deleted member 11370]

I'm playing through AC Unity right now and loving it. You'll learn to shrug off others' opinions, OP.

 

[Zojirushi]

It's never been worth the money to me. To stay "recent" you pretty much have to pay full price for everything. I noped out of that race pretty quickly.

 

[Aters]

I never post in OT, so I guess I'm the opposite of OP.

 

[FiXalaS]

I actually like playing some things late. Leaves me with the fans and the people who just come in with hot takes and inane comments have moved on.

Click to shrink...

I think I should do this

 

[iswasdoes]

Wanting to play things that everyone else is playing, being part of the zeitgeist etc, is normal. However:

For instance, a neat little fighting game that I really enjoyed playing called Override: Mech City Brawl came out not even a month ago, and I couldn't force myself to keep playing it beyond a day or so because I noticed I was already in the top 200 leaderboards in the world with minimal effort. It made me feel like my time with it isn't amounting to anything, and that I should migrate to something that "matters in the grander scheme" despite myself enjoying it quite a bit.

Click to shrink...

I can't relate to this. You're enjoying the game but knowing (suspecting?) that not many other people are playing means you cant enjoy it?

Also hate to break it to ya but no video game matters in the grander scheme

 

[ArtVandelay]

Makes sense when it comes to competitive games. But I mostly play story-focused single-player games, and I don't need anyone else to immerse myself.

 

[Spaceroast]

I've started work on the retro emulation/htpc dream machine and game collection I've always wanted. I've always retained a bit of interest in old games, but it's an absolute blast collecting and revisiting them (rendered in 4k!) when it's a hobby in and of itself.

My ps4 has been collecting dust for 1-2 years though. I might have the opposite issue; I find it hard to care about most of the hyped new releases. The last mainstream hyped new release I bought was smash, and before that it was... Mario odyssey? Both on the switch.

Then when it comes to current games, I often find myself more excited to dig for lesser known gems and share my findings with friends. It's a lot of fun to be able to say "check out this amazing game! Why isn't anybody talking about it?" the indie boom has been fantastic on that front, obviously.

 

[LuckyLocke]

I feel you would be better served by playing multiplayer only games such as Path of Exile or World of Warcraft OP. In these games, even though they are quite old, there is always a sense of something happening within the community. At least thats how I feel about it.
I do have the same feeling as you when I get to play older single player games, so I'm sticking to multiplayer games.

 

[BabyShams]

I don't share that problem. I love finding a great game on sale years after initial release, that either wasn't on my radar at release or I didn't have time for.

It also gives you a chance to talk to people that have already played it, bring back good memories.

 

[Deleted member 10629]

I find it better to play them after the hype and hyperbollic conversations are over.

 

[Interficium]

You know, only playing games to be able to post about them on Era actually explains a lot of the behaviors I see on display here.

 

[TheRulingRing]

Same OP. Nowadays I only really play games with other people, otherwise I just can't really be bothered to play on my own, I'd rather just do something else.

 

[Infamous Hawk]

Talk about the little guys. Post about them on social media. Be the change you want to see.

Click to shrink...

This. If there's no discussion about a game, start one. Don't be a follower, be a leader for a change and start the conversation.

Sounds.. Depressing.

Click to shrink...

Also, this. Must be a generation thing. When you're younger, it's all about being part of the group. When you're older, it's like, who gives a shit. Do what you want to do.

 

[SiG]

I'm sure there's some other people out there who have this same issue. I don't like feeling this way honestly, and wish I didn't, but I feel like it's a side effect of social media and the long term effects it has on people.

I just have a really hard time going back to older titles, titles that aren't "revered and continuing to be relevant" (Ex. Zelda Ocarina of Time), or titles that just don't have a big player base. Even if I enjoy the game, I have this odd FOMO feeling I get when I'm not actively part of something that has a big player base and discussion going on at the time. I even have trouble with games that are only a month or so old, it feels like I missed out on "the best time to play it" and I just can't feel enthralled about the game because of it.

For instance, a neat little fighting game that I really enjoyed playing called Override: Mech City Brawl came out not even a month ago, and I couldn't force myself to keep playing it beyond a day or so because I noticed I was already in the top 200 leaderboards in the world with minimal effort. It made me feel like my time with it isn't amounting to anything, and that I should migrate to something that "matters in the grander scheme" despite myself enjoying it quite a bit.

It's not something I pride myself in, I wish I didn't feel it, and I don't know how to "fix" it. But I just want to know if others have this issue and have actively worked towards getting themselves out of this mindset?

Click to shrink...

Here's a tip: Disconnect yourself from all social media platforms and, yes, even forums. Now go bargain hunt on steam or some used game store... Looks for something to dip your fingers into without the pretext of having read reviews for it (if it can be avoided, or rather don't ask others for opinions on it). Just try it out.

You might be surprised at what you actually enjoy. Don't always believe hype and stigma.

 

[TissueBox]

OP:

 

[lt519]

I get that, there is something more fun about being part of the live discussion/discovery with a community. I think it's why GaaS do so well, even if you don't have friends to play them with. The constantly evolving games give you that sense of being part of something constantly.

 

[Powdered Egg]

There's always discussions here or other places online for backlog.

 

[AcademicSaucer]

Create a LTTP thread and hope for the best

 

[Z-Beat]

I have this problem for games that are multiplayer intensive like MHW. I always end up in when there's no one but experts left.

 

[Casualcore]

Meanwhile, I'm over here playing Dragon Quest VII again, and I go ahead and bore my family talking about it. They put up with it because they love me. But then again, the stress you have seems to be because you prefer multiplayer games, so you have an investment in a sense of community. I play games with friends, but I don't make friends by playing games. In my formative days, games weren't online, so I don't see them that way.

 

[petethepanda]

I've always seen moviegoing as a social experience. Many people I know think it's the opposite - "Why would you meet up with people just to go and sit quietly in a theater for two hours?" - but I've always found the shared experience of consuming media to be one of the biggest factors of what makes said media enjoyable. Discussing it on the way out, sharing favorite moments, and trying to understand how the others felt about it compared to your own experience; all of this is a huge part of why I love movies so damn much.

I think I approach games in largely the same way. It's more of an online thing, since I don't know many people in real life who are as into games as I am, but I still like to play games while they're still in the public consciousness to be a part of The Conversation. I like to think I'm self-aware enough to be sarcastic and italicize it like that since it's definitely a bit silly, but I really do enjoy keeping up with what everyone is talking about and being able to join in conversations with my own opinions.

Still, I can understand how it can occasionally be a bit of a problem. Over the past month I've felt an irrational compulsion to finish certain games because I wanted to finish my GOTY list. And, like, realistically, who gives a fuck? And I'm not talking in the abstract, I mean literally, who would possibly give a fuck what my GOTY list is? I'm not some influencer, I don't work in games media, I'm just some random asshole on the internet. Why would I push back games I'd otherwise be playing in order to finish different games because I want to feel good about making a ranked list that literally nobody will give a shit about? I hate the part of myself that does this bullshit.

I guess the "fix" is just not caring. Or rather, realizing the thing you're caring about doesn't necessarily mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Or even more rather-er, learning to recognize when it does and doesn't mean something. Like, maybe you'll go see the latest Star Wars just to have an opinion on a big public shared experience, but then you'll still go and catch up on Eighth Grade even though no one is talking about it. (Though I guess the movie comparison entirely breaks down as the average game takes anywhere from four to forty times as much time to consume as the average movie. But you get what I mean.)

 

[Amibguous Cad]

I'm baffled by most of this thread.

Being part of the conversation is fun! There are many downsides to it, though. Choose whatever style suits you best. I do t understand why people think preferring one style is such a problem.

 

[iceblade]

It's never been worth the money to me. To stay "recent" you pretty much have to pay full price for everything. I noped out of that race pretty quickly.

Click to shrink...

This is my issue as well - it can get really expensive. Not just that but the time requirements - like, if you were to keep up with the recent releases you'd potentially have RDR 2, AC: Odyssey, and CoD BO4 on your to-play list, and those are all multiplat games without bringing in exclusives into the mix. IMO that's too many games to be playing and actually beating, and things move so quick that you don't really get the chance to savor and/or beat the games before something else comes along.

I can understand if it's wanting to get in on the ground floor of an MP game that doesn't necessarily have a long shelf life, but IMO it's easier and cheaper to wait for whatever interests you, and play that instead. If it's new to you, and you're enjoying it, that's what counts, IMO.

 

[molnizzle]

I'm somewhat with you OP, but really only for the big tentpole releases. Like this year it was RDR2, God of War, Spider-Man, and Smash. Everything else was a mix of older and new-ish games that I was just getting around to. Hell, I played through the Halo 2 Anniversary campaign for some reason, and even Diablo III for another 200+ hours on Switch.

 

[bulletyen]

I get it, I use to be the same way. But now I barely game at all so when I do I play whatever I want, no matter how old. Also helps I don't have gamer friends so I have no pressure to be a part of that current discussion.

 

[tolkir]

Not my case. Last week I was playing Razed on Switch where onlineboards were desert and I was having a blast.

 

[Laser Man]

I assume that to be a broader view held by many people, it could help to realise the fact that your time with any game (no matter the popularity) will never ammount to anything important ever. There isn't really a difference in these games, you just consume and move on.

 

[Gnorman]

I'm the opposite these days. I like to watch the hype and excitement from the outside. I still haven't got around to GoW or Spiderman and I got RDR2 for Christmas which I'll probably play on and off for months.

 

[Coi]

Do you really like videogames? Because if something like that pushes you out from enjoying a nice experience you don't really like to play, you just like the trend around them and how you interact around it. It's like Instagram food/anything influencers trash, they just like to take photos of stuff to stay relevant, and not enjoying the product because something new it's around the corner.

 

[BeI]

I'm kinda the same. Unless there is lots of nostalgia involved, I have a tough time wanting to play any old games.

 

[ClearMetal]

I can relate. It wouldn't stop me from playing an older game, but the high of a new game and all the buzz surrounding it is something special — and kind of addicting. Your own positive experiences get reinforced and validated by other people feeling and sharing the same hype you feel, and this is something that misses with older games. Whenever I play such a game, I often write a post about it in the OT here, on a subreddit or somewhere else, only to delete it halfway through because I figure no one is going to care at this point anyway. Getting hyped over an old game and posting about it feels like going into town to celebrate your country winning the World Cup finals a month after the match. It doesn't stop me from playing older games, but it is something of a sobering experience, especially when you have just experienced a multiple week "new game high".

 

[Harmony Friends]

water-cooler games are the new water-cooler TV shows

Click to shrink...

christ I'm having flashbacks to

"Xbox
is about to become
the next
water cooler."

 

[Augemitbutter]

christ I'm having flashbacks to

"Xbox
is about to become
the next
water cooler."

Click to shrink...

same. i've been linking water coolers to this for years now. water cooler? oh yea, xbox! it was a great time.

 

[daninthemix]

I am the opposite. I find hype obnoxious and quite often find myself playing a game so old and / or obscure that I genuinely wonder "am I the only person in the world playing this right now?".

 

[Aiustis]

I have the opposite problem funnily enough. The more hyped something is, the less I'm inclined to play it. Comes from some weird underlying elitist part of my personality i think.

Maybe you should try to take the same mindset, something like "forget all those plebs wasting their time with RDR2, I know the real hidden gems like Override: Mech City Brawl!".

Click to shrink...

I"m like this a lot of the time.