I had a bad night. I need some help and cool down.

[Uncivilized Elk]

Yall manage to argue over literally EVERYTHING.

The OP is sad af, and came to vent. And now the thread is on fire.

FFS era, why are we so divided all the fucking time? Why do we hate each other so much?

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I dunno, gee, what could it be? What is it that made people be annoyed and bicker?
Perhaps... could it be... could it be because some people went fucking hardcore on a calling a woman they know literally nothing about a bunch of insults culminating in somebody straight-up calling her a succubus?

Gee... I guess we'll never know!

 

[lt.dinh]

I dunno, gee, what could it be? What is it that made people be annoyed and bicker?
Perhaps... could it be... could it be because some people went fucking hardcore on a calling a woman they know literally nothing about a bunch of insults culminating in somebody straight-up calling her a succubus?

Gee... I guess we'll never know!

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Conversely there's a claim that anybody who made judgements of this person are potentially dangerous men, which is a judgment in of itself.

 

[NHarmonic.]

I don't think there's anything immediately wrong with supporting OP. "Dang, that sucks, hopenyour weekend gets better!" That's a good way to support OP. "Fuck her, she's a horrible person." That says something shitty about someone people know nothing about.

The people posting that latter kind of stuff reinforce all the reasons women feel unsafe telling a man why they're rejecting him. They're horrible people either way, might as well give yourself a running start from a potentially dangerous man.

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So she couldn't tell him or text him ?

The dude was supposed to wait there forever?

This is some absolutely terrible, inexcusable behavior. At least text the other person after leaving so they don't sit there alone waiting for you to come back to the date.

 

[Trevelyon]

I'll choose to believe that OP is posting in good faith. If she couldn't explain her reasons in person, then a courtesy text would've sufficed.

 

[Uncivilized Elk]

Conversely there's a claim that anybody who made judgements of this person are potentially dangerous men, which is a judgment in of itself.

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Where's the lie?

 

[NinjaScooter]

Its possible she's an inconsiderate person. Its also possible that she has had terrible experiences with dates not taking rejection well and wanted to avoid that kind of situation. Who knows. Not sure why that matters for OP. I'm sure it stings but OP should just try and move on regardless without concerning themselves too much about the reasons.

 

[Deranged Hermit]

Rejection sucks but most of the time it's because the other person has some shit going on that you don't know about. They're struggling with their own demons or they're still hung up on an ex or who knows what. I'm not excusing what she did, because that's extremely impolite, just saying that it's not necessarily a reflection on you.

 

[lt.dinh]

Where's the lie?

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Are all these people potentially dangerous men?

Don't even sweat it man. You dodged a bullet. Be grateful

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Shake it off my man. The bright side is she showed herself early and you didnt sink weeks or months into trying to make something work.
Crank some tunes and have a safe drive home

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Better to find out now than later.

Look after yourself.

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Honestly an hour and a half would start to get to you too, so you really did dodge a lot of issues with her. I second looking for something else to do in the area if possible just to bring it back a bit.

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I can understand how devastating it would be to experience this, but this is a much better outcome than spending any additional time with a person who would do such a thing. Be glad for the assholes who announce themselves, and know this is a reflection on her and not you.

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I know this is cold comfort right now, but trust me. If she's the type of person who would just leave unannounced in the middle of a date, you're better off not knowing her. Don't internalize her bullshit.

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That's some bullshit, but you dodged a bullet OP. Garbage person.

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Well that's a really shitty thing to do to someone.

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And you probably already know this, the idea that men are inherently dangerous and must be guarded against is a manifestation of the patriarchy.

 

[Creation_Scapes]

Better now than later

 

[Timelord19]

OP I hope you are better, some people just suck. Treat yourself today.

 

[Deleted member 5745]

She did you wrong, OP. There's this thing called courtesy, I'm sure people will argue she wasn't obligated or w/e to telll you, but she could have just said it wasn't working out for her instead of ghosting you like that. Even if she just said "I'm sorry, I'm too nervous/uncomfortable right now", that would have been better than just leaving you there.

I await the inevitable dogpile. Sure down here in the South things are fucked up, but the majority of us sane folk here were at least taught courtesy. I'd never do this shit to anyone I was seeing for dinner without an explanation why. And just to clarify for Era, there's no misogyny here, because this is a shitty thing to do, no matter what your fucking gender is.

All you can really do though is move on, though.

 

[SDBurton]

Hope you're feeling better OP.

 

[dejay]

I reckon she was an actual ghost who had been dead since 1997.

 

[Sheng Long]

This thread has received a lot of reports. It will be locked until we have a chance to review them all.

 

[Daysean]

Thread should honestly be locked at this point

 

[Creation_Scapes]

Thread should honestly be locked at this point

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Yep

 

[bry]

reminds me of this segment of this podcast i saw on youtube lol.

not saying you did or said anything wrong but who rly knows what headspace she was in or how she was perceiving the conversation from her end.

 

[Vex]

Thread should honestly be locked at this point

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That's what I'm saying. After the OP, all you can really say (after reading all the info provided) is "sorry, OP".

Not sure what else you CAN say without hearing her side. There's no discussion to be had here except fighting with each other. Which is already happening.

 

[Midee]

I'm concerned about the other person. I hope they're doing alright, too.

Hang in there OP. I hope you can come back and tell us more.

 

[Kikujiro]

Reread the thread.... Even if someone said or speculated it was OP's fault, the difference is that absolutely no one has called the OP a 'succubus' or said he was an awful person, or said "it's a shame she didn't get to fuck him a bunch before she found out he wasn't worth it."

We've been pointing out the amount of gendered and mysogynist attacks on this person and that it's completely possible to give OP sympathy without attacking a woman.

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I'm sorry, but it's completely hypocritical to speculate's about OP's fault, while telling other people they shouldn't speculate on their date. It's extremely gross, especially if the OP has to deal with anxiety issues as well.
You can point out the stupid and gross comments without painting the OP as a possible creep, otherwise you're also part of the problem.

 

[Sheng Long]

The contents of this thread do not give sufficient detail to ascertain what went down. With the way the thread is framed, folks are way too quick to blame the woman in question without giving thought to what legitimate reasons she could've had to stop contact.

While the thread may have started as a way to console the OP, we can't see any legitimate conversation come up from this absent any real details, instead devolving into borderline misogyny.

As such, the thread is locked.