I had a bad night. I need some help and cool down.

[Uzumaki Goku]

I was on a date, she has medical problems so I have to drive all the way to her area which is an hour and a half, I reschedule, I make the time...

The date starts off well, we seem to be getting along... then she gets up to go the bathroom,

She never comes back.

The lady sitting next to me tells me "She's not coming back. She told the waitress she was leaving." I sat there with jaw dropped and went like "...what?" "I'm sorry, she says."

I feel so agitated..... I need to calm down, but I feel like I just wasted my time.

 

[Rackham]

Don't even sweat it man. You dodged a bullet. Be grateful

 

[Deleted member 8118]

That's fucked up, man. Better now than to waste your time, but still.

 

[super-famicom]

Damn, sorry to hear that.

Maybe try meditation? Even 5 minutes will help!

 

[It’s Time To Go]

That is a shit night, sorry dude.

 

[Yoshimitsu126]

Damn. Was the food good though.

 

[anariel]

In reading some of the replies, I realized I shouldn't be assuming things about the situation. Don't mind me.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

[notsol337]

So you're an hour and a half away from all the places you normally go on a Friday night? Explore a little, and make it a good night instead!

 

[TaySan]

I'm sorry :(
Edit- Maybe it's best not for me to judge without seeing her side of the story. Hope your weekend gets better.

 

[Booshka]

Ya that sucks and sorry you had to go through that, but better to be a quick and embarrassing experience than a drawn out and torturous dating experience. You're good dude, move on and don't worry about it.

 

[CorpseLight]

Shake it off my man. The bright side is she showed herself early and you didnt sink weeks or months into trying to make something work.
Crank some tunes and have a safe drive home

 

[Lulu]

Ok this is pretty messed up. Sorry dude. Watch some anime, might help

 

[Annubis]

What sort of medical problems? Did she have a medical emergency at the restaurant?

 

[hitme]

Better to find out now than later.

Look after yourself.

 

[Tight Shoe]

omg what if she had a medical emergency tho

 

[TheYanger]

Honestly an hour and a half would start to get to you too, so you really did dodge a lot of issues with her. I second looking for something else to do in the area if possible just to bring it back a bit.

 

[Deleted member 23094]

I'd suggest not even trying to make contact again and just drill it into your head this wasn't anything about you at all. Spend time doing something you enjoy for now and simply put it behind you.

 

[robot]

I can understand how devastating it would be to experience this, but this is a much better outcome than spending any additional time with a person who would do such a thing. Be glad for the assholes who announce themselves, and know this is a reflection on her and not you.

 

[Booshka]

What sort of medical problems? Did she have a medical emergency at the restaurant?

Click to shrink...

probably best for OP not to divulge someone else's medical issues. it's not relevant anyway.

 

[Eidan]

I know this is cold comfort right now, but trust me. If she's the type of person who would just leave unannounced in the middle of a date, you're better off not knowing her. Don't internalize her bullshit.

 

[Doggg]

Yeah, fuck her. Asshole.

 

[Annubis]

probably best for OP not to divulge someone else's medical issues. it's not relevant anyway.

Click to shrink...

Well, I'm not really asking; it's rhetorical. More saying it's a possibility.

 

[Okabe]

Take that hour and a half to drive back home (safely) listen to some tunes and wind down.

If she can't bother to even tell you she's leaving then don't waste any more time of yours.

 

[ScaleboundGOTY]

What was the conversation before she left?

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

That's some bullshit, but you dodged a bullet OP. Garbage person.

 

[Ouroboros]

Think of it this way, she only waste a few hours of your time instead of months / years.
Dodged a fucking bullet. Anyone that inconserate doesn't deserve even the feeling you're going through, though I'm not trying to invalidate said feelings.
I know it sucks but the person right for you is out there somewhere.

 

[Rabbit Clock]

Well, better you find out early she's a crummy person. Sorry, Op.

 

[Smokeymicpot]

Can't say that happened to me but that sucks dude.

Maybe something happened. That she had to go.

 

[Meelow]

That's awful, especially since you had to drive out an hour and a half. Like the other poster said is there any bars or anything open around the area you are at? You might as well salvage the night.

Halloween 2019 I told my crush that I liked them when we were at a bar together and they didn't feel the same for me so instead of it ruining my night I went to a club and had the best night ever. It definitely helped.

 

[Good4Squat]

Well, I'm not really asking; it's rhetorical. More saying it's a possibility.

Click to shrink...

Even if that was the case, hard to see why that would prevent her from telling him she had to leave.

 

[Annubis]

Even if that was the case, hard to see why that would prevent her from telling him she had to leave.

Click to shrink...

I can think of feeling so ashamed of yourself for breaking down at the worst time as a reason to ghost.

 

[Hazmat]

Eh, you dodged a bullet. Maybe you could have fucked her a few times before you found out she's the kind of person that will ghost someone on the middle of a date, but in the long run you're better off.

Plus, starting a relationship where you have to drive 90 minutes each way every time you get together? Nah.

 

[Inugami]

I can think of feeling so ashamed of yourself for breaking down at the worst time as a reason to ghost.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, as someone with huge anxieties, especially social ones i can totally get this. It doesn't feel great to be on the receiving end, but there is absolutely reasons why someone may take this route.

Don't take it personally OP, it wasn't likely meant to be an attack on you.

Eh, you dodged a bullet. Maybe you could have fucked her a few times before you found out she's the kind of person that will ghost someone on the middle of a date, but in the long run you're better off.

Plus, starting a relationship where you have to drive 90 minutes each way every time you get together? Nah.

Click to shrink...

This is gross ass shit.

 

[HiLife]

Damn. Well, now at least you know not to mess with the person anymore. Don't sweat it.

 

[PeakPointMatrix]

Had this open from last night but never submitted post; but hope you're feeling better. Someone this rude would have only fucked with your life in the long run. It still sucks, but you dodged a parallel timeline of anguish from this person.

 

[HeySeuss]

Why are we making assumptions about her ghosting him making her a horrible person and he dodged a bullet?

I doubt that she tricked op into a free meal, it's equally likely she was somehow made uncomfortable by something in the conversation and noped out of there.

 

[Inugami]

Why are we making assumptions about her ghosting him making her a horrible person and he dodged a bullet?

I doubt that she tricked op into a free meal, it's equally likely she was somehow made uncomfortable by something in the conversation and noped out of there.

Click to shrink...

This is a common thread type here, and it's always getting one side of the story and everyone dog piling on the other... Some of these threads can get pretty misogynistic imo... I don't necessarily blame OP in this thread, but there are a couple replies here that are absolutely gross.

 

[AMAGON]

Not your fault.

Not your fault.

Not your fault.

 

[Hippo_PRIME]

This is a common thread type here, and it's always getting one side of the story and everyone dog piling on the other... Some of these threads can get pretty misogynistic imo... I don't necessarily blame OP in this thread, but there are a couple replies here that are absolutely gross.

Click to shrink...

I'm glad to see these posts. Whole lot of weird blaming going on in this thread. Not trying to say OP did anything wrong...but we don't know what went down. Why is the default stance to blame the other party here?

Especially women, they deal with all kinds of bullshit in dating. Especially in this case, denigrating the women without her story is a gross take.

Edit: really, why are these kinds of threads allowed? They seem to devolve into misogyny more often than not.

Edit2: those immediately blaming the woman: why? What causes you to immediately side against her and with OP? What in the OP makes you think that anyone, but especially the woman we have heard nothing from, is the one to blame here?

 

[EVIL]

if she has medical problems something embarrassing might have come up from her end and she didn't want you to know about it. Relax about it, maybe she will explain another time and If not, then it is what it is brother. I understand it sucks, but just bite trough it and treat yourself to a night you want to have.

 

[nogoodnamesleft]

i hate that people cant be honest and upfront these days honestly. one of the biggest hates i have about society these days

 

[Armadilo]

Fuck her, ignore her and move on and hey you have a story tell but nonetheless still what a horrible person

 

[Hippo_PRIME]

i hate that people cant be honest and upfront these days honestly. one of the biggest hates i have about society these days

Click to shrink...

What was the woman supposed to be honest and upfront about? Based on the information we have, what did she do wrong?

An acquaintance of mine posted on social media a sad story of his date leaving with no word in the middle of dinner. Much like OP. The woman in question was a friend of friend. According to her, he was making rape jokes and she felt unsafe.

 

[DragonSJG]

Sorry to hear that, hope you're doing well, try to take your mind off it

 

[Hippo_PRIME]

Fuck her, ignore her and move on and hey you have a story tell but nonetheless still what a horrible person

Click to shrink...

Based off of what info OP has provided: what makes her a horrible person? Do you think she acted this why unprompted? Why do you think that?

 

[Armadilo]

Why are we making assumptions about her ghosting him making her a horrible person and he dodged a bullet?

I doubt that she tricked op into a free meal, it's equally likely she was somehow made uncomfortable by something in the conversation and noped out of there.

Click to shrink...

The other person could have messaged the person to explain themselves , shit is weird, if everything is going good and out nowhere that person disappears.

 

[Dead Guy]

I'm glad to see these posts. Whole lot of weird blaming going on in this thread. Not trying to say OP did anything wrong...but we don't know what went down. Why is the default stance to blame the other party here?

Especially women, they deal with all kinds of bullshit in dating. Especially in this case, denigrating the women without her story is a gross take.

Edit: really, why are these kinds of threads allowed? They seem to devolve into misogyny more often than not.

Edit2: those immediately blaming the woman: why? What causes you to immediately side against her and with OP? What in the OP makes you think that anyone, but especially the woman we have heard nothing from, is the one to blame here?

Click to shrink...

To me it's shitty to ghost someone like that in any circumstance. As someone who does suffer from social anxiety, I recognize that it's totally possible she had a panic attack or something but in that case at least send a text explaining the situation. OP now feels like trash and has no idea what happened. Was probably embarrassing as shit too.

You're right we are only getting one side of the story, but I'm someone who doesn't assume the worst of the person telling things until proved otherwise. If something eventually comes out later then I may change my tune.

Right now the OP is understandably feeling like shit and just wants emotional support. I don't see anything wrong with that.

 

[Vennt]

Whole lotta projection from rejection coming out in this thread, and it's ugly as hell.

 

[Armadilo]

Based off of what info OP has provided: what makes her a horrible person? Do you think she acted this why unprompted? Why do you think that?

Click to shrink...

Same would be said if it was a guy, ghosting somebody on a date is fucked up especially mid date.Why can't a person make up something at least so the other person understands.

A date involves 2 people, so the other person has the right to feel sad with the events that took place.

 

[Hippo_PRIME]

To me it's shitty to ghost someone like that in any circumstance. As someone who does suffer from social anxiety, I recognize that it's totally possible she had a panic attack or something but in that case at least send a text explaining the situation. OP now feels like trash and has no idea what happened. Was probably embarrassing as shit too.

You're right we are only getting one side of the story, but I'm someone who doesn't assume the worst of the person telling things until proved otherwise. If something eventually comes out later then I may change my tune.

Right now the OP is understandably feeling like shit and just wants emotional support. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Click to shrink...

I don't think there's anything immediately wrong with supporting OP. "Dang, that sucks, hopenyour weekend gets better!" That's a good way to support OP. "Fuck her, she's a horrible person." That says something shitty about someone people know nothing about.

The people posting that latter kind of stuff reinforce all the reasons women feel unsafe telling a man why they're rejecting him. They're horrible people either way, might as well give yourself a running start from a potentially dangerous man.