I got an RTX 3090 for Christmas, but I think it's wasted money :/

[BeI]

My husband, bless him, has been on Amazon spending sprees ever since Covid started, and he's slowly been racking up more and more debt buying stuff for us, despite my objections, and sometimes he gets too carried away. It turns out that a large chunk of the current debt is actually £3000 of GPUs: an RTX 3090 each. I kept heavily hinting for months that I'm a budget gamer and only want ~£200 hardware at most, but he went and bought us each a £1500 GPU.

It turns out though that I'm not too keen on having it because we don't play the latest and most demanding games anyway, so it kinda seems like a waste to me. He hardly plays games much either, aside from Battlefield V, so I can't help but feel like he wasted a lot of money on hardware.

Would it be bad to convince someone to either return or sell Christmas gifts? I feel like that's something we should probably be doing, due to our current financial situation. On one hand, I'm really lucky he got not only one 3090, but two, but on the other, we already have a bit of money trouble to worry about. I just don't know how to convince him that we should probably sell or return both.

Was unsure if this belonged in Gaming or Off topic because it involves gaming products heavily.

 

[Dant21]

I'd try to get him to agree to flip both 3090's on Ebay for more than you paid for. Get the money back and pay off the debt. That seems like the highest priority. Hurting his feeling short-term isn't as bad as paying off that debt long-term.

 

[Aztechnology]

Sell it and get a different GPU. However I'd imagine as someone who's also an experience/shared time as part of my language of love. That he probably just wants you to have a great experience and the type of gaming that he experiences for you. Assuming he often wants to play games together with you? Or at least talk about them with you?

Just be transparent, I can't see why they would be angry.

If you need proper ammunition performance of the 3090 is single digit % above a 3080 in most circumstances. At "double" the cost.

 

[Pulp]

It's a very nice gift, but not worth it to get into debt for. Sounds like you guys need to have a discussion around finances.

 

[MeepMerp]

Return it and buy a 3060 TI

 

[Ada]

Going into debt to buy a GPU was not a good idea. Even worse it's the poorest value of the bunch.

 

[bes.gen]

to be honest, this sounds serious to the point of needing intervention, I'd say dont brush it under the rug.

guilty of excess, unnecessary spending myself from time to time, i can assure you from self experience, he will feel bad about it in short term anyway. especially if you already have financial issues.

 

[Alvis]

Sell it for a (reasonable, don't be a total ass) profit, pay off that debt, and buy two 3070s or 3080s instead by watching for stock at MSRP.

I hate scalpers, but in this case the highest priorities are paying off that debt and getting your husband to stop overspending like that. Just don't be a total ass like I said and get just enough of a profit to pay off that debt.

 

[Jaded Alyx]

It turns out though that I'm not too keen on having it because we don't play the latest and most demanding games anyway, so it kinda seems like a waste to me. He hardly plays games much either, aside from Battlefield V, so I can't help but feel like he wasted a lot of money on hardware.

Click to shrink...

This sounds like a very reasonable....reason to me. Surely he'd understand that if you explained it?

 

[leng jai]

A 3090 is a waste of money in any scenario in terms of value anyway. Buying 2 when you're in already debt and don't even play high end games much is ridiculous no matter how you spin it.

 

[JustinBB7]

My husband, bless him, has been on Amazon spending sprees ever since Covid started, and he's slowly been racking up more and more debt buying stuff for us, despite my objections, and sometimes he gets too carried away. It turns out that a large chunk of the current debt is actually £3000 of GPUs: an RTX 3090 each. I kept heavily hinting for months that I'm a budget gamer and only want ~£200 hardware at most, but he went and bought us each a £1500 GPU.

It turns out though that I'm not too keen on having it because we don't play the latest and most demanding games anyway, so it kinda seems like a waste to me. He hardly plays games much either, aside from Battlefield V, so I can't help but feel like he wasted a lot of money on hardware.

Would it be bad to convince someone to either return or sell Christmas gifts? I feel like that's something we should probably be doing, due to our current financial situation. On one hand, I'm really lucky he got not only one 3090, but two, but on the other, we already have a bit of money trouble to worry about. I just don't know how to convince him that we should probably sell or return both.

Was unsure if this belonged in Gaming or Off topic because it involves gaming products heavily.

Click to shrink...

Do you both have 4k monitors? 3090 is heavy, heavy, heavy overkill for most people. Unless you use them to play on a 4k TV and play Cyberpunk with a computer to match the card it's not worth it.

 

[Grimsiege]

Nothing wrong with wanting to get gifts for the holidays, but it's definitely not worth going into debt over. You should return those 3090s as soon as possible and settle with a cheaper GPU since both you and your husband don't play the most demanding games.

 

[Khamsinvera]

A 3090 for gaming isn't worth it all - and I say that as a 3090 owner. I use it for machine learning and it's outstanding in that arena.

For gaming, a 3080 at about half the price (I think?) is more than enough.

Also, going into debt for a fast depreciating (under normal circumstances) piece of hardware isn't a good idea.

Sell it now for what you will and pay off some debt.

 

[karnage10]

Personally i'd try to sell above the MRSP like most scalpers; specially if i needed money.
I have my finances separate from my partner but whenever I buy something above 100 or so € i usually talk with her. Her opinion can be helpfull so i don't waste money.
so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Personally i'd prefer to upgrade regularly on the low end instead of having an expensive GPU for a long time. That said in my situation i generally get a mid range GPU and keep it for a bit as i can't a ford regular upgrades.

IMO I think both of you have to take some time to talk about how to manage your money. Gaming is my main (and probably only hobby) and if i can't afford something i just don't buy it. Personally I only take on debt if it is something i need to live. IMO both of you need to define priorities that both can agree on and work together to achieve them.
Whether that includes a 1500 GBP GPU that will be outdated in a year or less is up to both of you.

 

[Dodongo]

RTX 3090s aren't worth it unless money is no object.

If you think you don't really need one, I would suggest selling it for msrp and getting a 3080, or maybe even a 3060ti. You will still be in great shape for any realistic pc gaming scenario.

 

[BeI]

This sounds like a very reasonable....reason to me. Surely he'd understand that if you explained it?

Click to shrink...

Unfortunately he tends to be quite stubborn when it comes to what he does. It would likely be the case of a very stoppable force meeting an immovable object.

At the moment I'm trying to avoid putting the thing in my PC because in my mind I'm quite convinced that it NEEDS to be sold. £1500 is a lot of money. Like 3x the cost of the rest of my PC.

 

[Alvis]

Like people are saying the 3090 only makes sense if you either

• Use the same computer for both extremely VRAM intensive productivity tasks AND gaming or
• have fuck you money

It's a 10% or so performance uplift from the 3080 for an insane increase in price.

 

[Deleted member 8463]

Is it really a gift if you also receive the debt the gift cost? marriage is fuckin weird

like I understand the impulse, I've just been using my overdraft to buy presents, but if in this situation I had to give them an overdraft with the present I'd just not. a grand a half is oof for one computer component

 

[Lump]

The 3090 is not a card to go into debt for. 3070s will absolutely be enough for the games you play.

I'm someone who went all out on my display to get 4k120hz paired with a 3080 and even I think going for a 3090 is nonsensical unless extra cash is bursting out of your windows.

 

[Dolce]

If your husband is spending money on things you don't need and putting you into debt with said purchases I think you have bigger issues and may need to bring a professional into this.

 

[MrKlaw]

Pragmatic me : Sell both - flip if necessary - and pay off debt. Always the priority if you don't need what you bought.

Slightly less pragmatic me : flip both and buy 1 x 3080 - 3090 is more GPU than the vast majority needs or will properly leverage, and certainly sounds like you wouldn't. But a 3080 will be amazing and will last you years for your use cases. You can probably sell the 3090s, pay them off and have enough left to almost buy an RRP 3080 (you may have to wait in a queue for one but thats ok)


I say this as someone that built a new PC around a 3080 and got one at launch, and finds my daughter using my PC to play minecraft java and Genshin Impact. I'm not playing a ton as its in my 'office' where I've been wfh for 9 months so I'm not feeling like playing there at the moment. And when I do it'll likely be more for VR and sims - sitll be on my consoles for most games. But I'm fine with the future potential of that GPU and the value is 'decent' for me assuming I'll keep it for 4 years like I did for my previous 1080

 

[Lumination]

3000GBP of credit card debt is going to cost you A LOT of money in the near AND long term... This was not a good decision by almost any metric. Be sure you communicate how much you appreciate him, but those NEED to go.

And if he's going to be an immovable force on this topic, this is a big problem. How can you keep yourself in financial security like this?

 

[Knight in Shining Armani]

Buying two 3090s when you're already in debt? Yikes.

Scalp them and have a sitdown with him. This would be a complete dealbreaker for me.

 

[aronmayo]

Yeah the 3090 is not worth being in debt for. It's something like 11% more performance for 100% price premium over the 3080. Really poor value, I'd recommend sticking with a 3070 if you're looking for a wallet friendly option. The 3090 is a card for the 1%.

 

[Alvis]

3000GBP of credit card debt is going to cost you A LOT of money in the near AND long term... This was not a good decision by almost any metric. Be sure you communicate how much you appreciate him, but those NEED to go.

And if he's going to be an immovable force on this topic, this is a big problem. How can you keep yourself in financial security like this?

Click to shrink...

Yeah OP. Don't let this happen.

Your husband might feel hurt, but it will also serve as a lesson that he shouldn't do something like this again. Whereas letting it happen will serve as the opposite lesson...

 

[Embrodak]

Debt is for college, a house and perhaps a modest car. Or starting a business.

So unless the card is going to get you a degree, you plan living in it or is going to drive you around I'd say get rid of it.

 

[Arc]

If he's willing to go into debt for a GPU then it sounds like you have much bigger problems than hurting his feelings.

 

[flaxknuckles]

Buy a Switch and drop it on his head while he sleeps and slip away so he doesn't notice who did it. He will see it as a sign from God and renounce high-end gaming.

Then you can go into debt from buying Nintendo games.

 

[Deleted member 79451]

Like others said hitting debt for an extreme luxury item (face it, it's frivolous luxury compared even to a 3080) is very worrisome. I'd say it's time to have a real discussion about spending. Maybe compromise if he wants to share some recent game experiences and you're willing / a little interested with a lower end GPU for both of you?

Me and my s/o discuss such financial matters openly with each other. It's really important to be able to do this. If my S/O or I ever splurged us into debt like this we would have serious discussions.

 

[Deleted member 24079]

If your husband is spending money on things you don't need and putting you into debt with said purchases I think you have bigger issues and may need to bring a professional into this.

Click to shrink...

This should have been first post. Please sit down and talk about this and it may need to have a professional attending.

 

[TaySan]

Edit- Flip it if you are going into debt

 

[Jonnax]

Is it actually a gift if you're both on the hook for paying the debt off?

There's a calculator on this page: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/minimum-repayments-credit-card/
Type in the interest rate of your credit card and the amount you think you'll be paying back the per month

Are you comfortable with the amount of interest you'll be paying back on top of the cost of the cards?

The 3090 was made for people that require a large amount of VRAM and rich people that money is no object for.
If you've got into debt for this and you just play games, you're not the audience for this card.

 

[deltabreak]

Sell for sure. Your husband seems like he's getting addicted to spending stuff

 

[Baji Boxer]

Maybe say that you did some research and found that the 3090 only makes a difference for machine learning development. The suggest that you could flip it to purchase a less expensive card that's just as good for games.

 

[ty_hot]

Having financial problems, buying (two) 3090 and only playing non demanding games... sounds like you need a divorce before you both go bankrupt.

 

[KillLaCam]

Embrace scalping and make double the money back

 

[s2398jgi2jf]

It's not a gift if you have to help pay it off....tell him you'll keep it only if he's wholly responsible for all repayments and won't skip on other obligations at the same time.

Or really talk about your finances and his errant spending.

 

[Sabin]

If your husband is spending money on things you don't need and putting you into debt with said purchases I think you have bigger issues and may need to bring a professional into this.

Click to shrink...

Jup, sounds like a shopping addiction in the making.

 

[tacocat]

If you have the money to burn enjoy it. If you're going into debt as you mentioned to get these cards I would definitely return it. Paying interest on an rtx 3090 seems like a massive waste of money (without even considering the diminishing returns past a 3080). You shouldnt feel bad about bringing this up with your husband.

 

[Deleted member 41178]

My husband, bless him, has been on Amazon spending sprees ever since Covid started, and he's slowly been racking up more and more debt buying stuff for us, despite my objections, and sometimes he gets too carried away. It turns out that a large chunk of the current debt is actually £3000 of GPUs: an RTX 3090 each. I kept heavily hinting for months that I'm a budget gamer and only want ~£200 hardware at most, but he went and bought us each a £1500 GPU.

It turns out though that I'm not too keen on having it because we don't play the latest and most demanding games anyway, so it kinda seems like a waste to me. He hardly plays games much either, aside from Battlefield V, so I can't help but feel like he wasted a lot of money on hardware.

Would it be bad to convince someone to either return or sell Christmas gifts? I feel like that's something we should probably be doing, due to our current financial situation. On one hand, I'm really lucky he got not only one 3090, but two, but on the other, we already have a bit of money trouble to worry about. I just don't know how to convince him that we should probably sell or return both.

Was unsure if this belonged in Gaming or Off topic because it involves gaming products heavily.

Click to shrink...

When you say debt? Do you mean actual debt as in this is on a credit card that's not being cleared each month? And you are incurring interest on it?

If so I think you should sit down and have a frank conversation with him that it's not ok.

I couldn't imagine my wife being OK with me dropping 3k on a pc and putting us in debt over it.

Also, return them or flip them.

 

[jon bones]

have a real conversation about debt - this is asinine

 

[-Amon-]

Doing debts for videocards only means your husband need help.

Sell the cards on ebay, use the money to talk with a pro that can help your husband asap.

 

[Deleted member 8852]

Being put into debt isn't a gift, talk to your husband.

 

[Ra]

Unfortunately he tends to be quite stubborn when it comes to what he does. It would likely be the case of a very stoppable force meeting an immovable object.

At the moment I'm trying to avoid putting the thing in my PC because in my mind I'm quite convinced that it NEEDS to be sold. £1500 is a lot of money. Like 3x the cost of the rest of my PC.

Click to shrink...

What are the rest of your specs, CPU and monitor resolution most importantly?

And by "debt" do you mean spending money you literally don't have?

If your CPU and monitor aren't 4K level, you'd be much better off selling the card for a profit, paying off the debt, and sourcing a much more reasonable GPU in the 3070 range.

 

[Alvis]

Actually, can't you just return it? Don't bother with selling.

Return it and buy two 3070s.

Two 3070s cost less than ONE 3090 and it will be almost the same for your use. Seriously OP. Please don't let this happen.

Two 3060tis is also a good option since it's a $100 drop from the already cheaper 3070, and it's just 15% or so less performance.

 

[TyrantII]

Flip them and pay off the debt. Show your appreciation for sure, but make clear an even better gift at the moment is clearing your debt.

If he can't understand that, time to ask yourself some hard questions on the relationship.

 

[rpm]

You gotta put your foot down re:spending money you do not have and get on the same page re:finances. A graphics card is not worth going into debt for.

Also, if the rest of your PC is only £500, it's gonna bottleneck hard anyways

 

[Vulcano's Assistant]

I don't care if people here accuse you of scalping, if he bought them with money you two don't have and is not willing to part with his own 3090, then don't feel guilty if you want to try to sell your for more than what you paid for rather than returning it.

If reason fails to convincing him, at the very lest you can try to show him with hard performance numbers how £ 1500 would be better spend on a 3080 and a 5800X+mobo than on a 3090.

 

[dallow_bg]

Super wasteful in many ways. Just sell them and help yourselves.

 

[Thera]

Oh wow, that's terrible. Don't go into depts for hobbies.
I think there is a bigger problem here. So you need to talk about the GPU but, more importantly, why those spendings. It will be difficult...