I dropped my highest paying client after a dinner.

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

Sometimes you have to eat.
I doubt anyone in the room really learned anything from this. The end result is mostly just the OP being out a pile of cash.

I'm not saying the OP handled it incorrectly, but I would have done it different.

Click to shrink...

And again, I'll just remind you that everyone who's ever worked for shit like gun or oil lobbying or any other number of harmful business activities have said the same thing. It doesn't make anyone smart, it makes them complicit in the terrible situation in front of everyone. Literally contributing to a worse world and less self worth for a dollar. End up living another shitty day while everything crumbles around you.

If more people stood up like the op, we'd all be better off.

 

[Okii]

Seems really irresponsible to me, I wouldn't or couldn't lose that much of my pay to teach a lesson to someone who probably didn't even bat an eye.

 

[Riley]

Good for you OP.

But I honestly would've just hired women and rub their good work in that company's face.

 

[Volkama]

But I honestly would've just hired women and rub their good work in that company's face.

Click to shrink...

Yep, that's the first thought that came to my mind. Maybe he'd leave you after that, but at least you'd piss him off.

 

[Amnesty]

Sometimes you have to eat.
I doubt anyone in the room really learned anything from this. The end result is mostly just the OP being out a pile of cash.

Click to shrink...

Is that the end though? The thing with advancing moral values is that it's hard to quantify how these values are spread. A number of people in this thread have respect for what the OP did and maybe they'll carry it down the line - maybe it will influence their own values, whether that's through action or through word of mouth or just by encouraging the same in others. These are the less tangible, but very important and crucial aspects to societal progress, a huge part of that being dissemination. People need to carry these values with them and by sharing his experience, OP has created a space for solidarity regarding values on misogyny. Solidarity is something that can be carried forward. The antithesis of this solidarity is all the 'you're being childish and dumb' posts in here that try to cynically dredge up a dogmatic reality where nothing matters but looking out for yourself. I think it's important to reject those attitudes, because they're isolating and stifling even if they rest in a grain of reality regarding looking out for yourself. It's not like people even have to absolutely follow the OP's example, but through carrying pride in his convictions on this matter perhaps they can pass these values to others who can or will act on them.

 

[Deleted member 82]

I get that there are a varieties of ways OP could have handled this better while still maintaining their moral integrity - and I agree with that -, but the number of responses in this thread that essentially amount to "you screwed up", "you're irresponsible", "what about the money" or some variation thereof, with no regard for the OP's circumstances or for doing what's right over what's practical/advantageous, quite frankly disgust me.

I like money just as much as everyone, and I actually make less money than OP used to earn from that client alone, but godforbid people disregard money and act morally every once in a while, right? Some of the replies here are fucking pathetic. OP deserves a medal.

 

[ccbfan]

Not really sure how you helped women, all you did was put yourself and your employees at risk without any positive outcome except stroking your morality ego and posting on this board looking for praises. There was no teaching or learning here.

What you should have done was hire some women with his money and put them on his project. He can't go back on his contract for legal reasons and you truly took a step forward in helping women. Heck when he sees the quality of the work he might change his appreciation for women and hire more women himself. You honestly took a good teaching situation and made it worse by being short sighted.

 

[Maxim726x]

I mean, if you had morality tests for all of your clients I'm sure you would find them wanting... That's just the way of the world.

Certainly wouldn't have made that choice, but you do you.

 

[mutantmagnet]

Alternatively, you may have considered engaging with and contesting the sexist remark. It wouldn't have even had to be confrontational or awkward. Something like, "Respectfully disagree. My mother and gf are two of the smartest people I know." Give the client a chance to surprise you and redeem himself by rescinding the comment or conceding your point, or to double down and confirm he's worth dropping altogether. Who knows, there may have been an outcome where you kept your biggest source of income and the client thought twice about making sexist comments in the future. I know that's all Monday morning quarterbacking and what's done is done. I only suggest it for next time since future clients may potentially also offend or disappoint you, and it strikes me as impetuous and unwise to promptly opt to be a martyr when there may be alternative courses of action available to you consistent with your principles.

Click to shrink...

I agree who should've attempted being confrontational but someone making a juvenile joke like that shouldn't be given the opportunity to double down with momma's boy "jokes."

He could've said he personally knows 2 highly intelligent women in general and left it at that to see how they reacted.

Not really sure how you helped women, all you did was put yourself and your employees at risk without any positive outcome except stroking your morality ego and posting on this board looking for praises. There was no teaching or learning here.

Click to shrink...

Actually he taught some people in this thread a situation like that is survivable. Personally I couldn't handle crushing debt like that but some of the other people on this forum probably have the discipline to be as morally upstanding if pushed to.

 

[Lady Catherine de Bourgh]

Not really sure how you helped women, all you did was put yourself and your employees at risk without any positive outcome except stroking your morality ego and posting on this board looking for praises. There was no teaching or learning here.

What you should have done was hire some women with his money and put them on his project. He can't go back on his contract for legal reasons and you truly took a step forward in helping women. Heck when he sees the quality of the work he might change his appreciation for women and hire more women himself. You honestly took a good teaching situation and made it worse by being short sighted.

Click to shrink...

"Are you the woman that endures sexist remarks with a smile, thrives on patronising mansplaining and isn't rattled by unfair criticism? Then we are looking for you. In this job you will be responsible for dazzling our misogynistic clients with your groundbreaking creative work. Your superb skills will win over their toxic masculinity and convince them to hire more women."

Definitely a job that I would go for.

 

[ccbfan]

"Are you the woman that endures sexist remarks with a smile, thrives on patronising mansplaining and isn't rattled by unfair criticism? Then we are looking for you. In this job you will be responsible for dazzling our misogynistic clients with your groundbreaking creative work. Your superb skills will win over their toxic masculinity and convince them to hire more women."

Definitely a job that I would go for.

Click to shrink...

I know you're trying to be sarcastic but sadly for minorities and woman that's a hidden job description for a lot of jobs.

Also wtf, how was my previously post any more antagonistic then any other post that disagrees with the tc and feel there was a better way to approach it.

 

[Lady Catherine de Bourgh]

I know you're trying to be sarcastic but sadly for minorities and woman that's a hidden job description for a lot of jobs.

Also wtf, how was my previously post any more antagonistic then any other post that disagrees with the tc and feel there was a better way to approach it.

Click to shrink...

I know this hidden job description all to well. But you know that to and I am just surprised that you and (as you rightly remark) some other posters suggest that it would be good to hire a woman to work for that client. The teaching opportunity would likely be at the expense of any woman taking that job. I would be mad as hell if my employer would hatch such a scheme.

 

[teruterubozu]

Respect on sticking to your principles. However I always found mixing business and pleasure (dinners, drinking, etc.) to be a risky situation. Yes sure, you can't really say no when you've been invited to a dinner, but when people "let loose" it gets complicated in a business environment. Should have declined and asked if you could do lunch instead.

 

[Unkindled]

Must have been a really hard decision OP. But respect for the stand you have taken it's not something many do or have luxury to do in this age sadly.