I cried at my job today, how do you deal with workloads/stress?

[TheBaldwin]

Hi guys, this isn't trying to be a pity thread but I genuinely want some advice from people who have been at this longer then I have.

This is my first real job straight out of uni and one that is a great entry level into multiple careers I'd love to go into. I've been there 4 months and basically working on 2 clients and been working directly under the account manager whose a great mentor.

The AM has now gone on holiday andI've been asked to take over whilst she's is gone. Within the moment she left emails came flying in and constant requests from people in the office to do stuff. I feel like I'm really out of my depth and I felt really rushed to get everything done. Only two people work on these accounts and ones super new and knows nothing and the other is so busy she's not in the office most of the time.

I basically ended up having to stay really late, not doing 80% of the stuff I needed to do and spent ages on the 20% because I initially did it wrong and then had to redo/figure out WTF I was doing and then basically broke down.

but I don't want to throw in the towel less then a day in because I want to show I'm capable but im afraid I've already fucked up.

for those account managers out there, how do you all manage your time and not worry when you're not in the office ? How do you decide what to do first or not do ? And howdo you not spend hours over one minor thing to make sure you're not fucking it up

many advice or kind words would be greatly appreciated

 

[Deleted member 21709]

It's OK. There's nothing wrong with letting it out. You can do this.

I think time and experience is the only answer. You will learn to deal with things, and you will learn how to handle your accounts to minimize these issues. But it will most likely never not be stressful unless you stop caring.

 

[RF Switch]

you may think you're panicking and messing up, but you are actually learning new stuff at a rapid pace.

 

[TransEuropaExpress]

I certainly had moments early in my career where I just wanted to throw it all down and walk the fuck out from sheer frustration.

What the post above me said...a combination of time and experience. You'll suddenly start looking at tasks that once made you cower in fear as some near-automatic "well yeah of course" thing given time.

You have to stick with it, tough it out and think of it as learning each time. Something you fuck up today and have to redo, you'll do right the first time tomorrow and save yourself an hour and so on.

 

[Tryptobphan]

General advice: I came from a generation where it looks bad if you break down and people look down on you for it. However, depending on your work place, if people are more understanding, then there's nothing wrong about feeling overwhelmed and voicing it in the right ways. If the workplace is conservative (old school like a consulting firm) then definitely vent to your friends when you have time. It helps to let it out or talk with someone instead of holding the suffering in all the time.

Advice for Work: If you are on your own and expected to do everything your AM requested then hopefully your AM has gone over the procedures or processes with you at least once before. If not, then take a breath, and take a look at each of your requests. See if you have access into any internal systems or e-mails to see what the prior month's requests looked like or the files and review them. See if you can follow the process from a previous period and perform them for your current requests.

Just in case you are worried about being reprimanded or losing your job, don't be. It's unfair everything was left to you, but definitely follow up with your AM with an e-mail saying you don't know how to do a lot of these requests but you'll try to review them the best you can. When he/she comes back, sit down with him/her and tell them that you had a lot of difficulties and this experience opened up an opportunity for you to want to learn how to do all of this so you can help your AM better next time since you want to be more prepared and get more responsibility. This will show your AM that you mean business, while you may not have succeeded as much as you want from this experience, that you are ready to step up your game.

Good luck, I hope some of this stuff helps. For now, just take a deep breath and slow down your mind so you can take steps to do what you need to do.

 

[nekkid]

You're doing lots of learning, and this will really expand your limits. Bear in mind that the account manager has to deal with this on a day to day basis, so it's entirely possible - you're just new.

I'd say that you must have been doing a great job if they felt you were ok to deal with things after only 4 months, but I'd not be afraid to ask your main report for some help.

 

[Kelsdesu]

Therapy. Most productive thing I have ever done with myself.

 

[Roo]

General advice: I came from a generation where it looks bad if you break down and people look down on you for it. However, depending on your work place, if people are more understanding, then there's nothing wrong about feeling overwhelmed and voicing it in the right ways. If the workplace is conservative (old school like a consulting firm) then definitely vent to your friends when you have time. It helps to let it out or talk with someone instead of holding the suffering in all the time.

Advice for Work: If you are on your own and expected to do everything your AM requested then hopefully your AM has gone over the procedures or processes with you at least once before. If not, then take a breath, and take a look at each of your requests. See if you have access into any internal systems or e-mails to see what the prior month's requests looked like or the files and review them. See if you can follow the process from a previous period and perform them for your current requests.

Just in case you are worried about being reprimanded or losing your job, don't be. It's unfair everything was left to you, but definitely follow up with your AM with an e-mail saying you don't know how to do a lot of these requests but you'll try to review them the best you can. When he/she comes back, sit down with him/her and tell them that you had a lot of difficulties and this experience opened up an opportunity for you to want to learn how to do all of this so you can help your AM better next time since you want to be more prepared and get more responsibility. This will show your AM that you mean business, while you may not have succeeded as much as you want from this experience, that you are ready to step up your game.

Good luck, I hope some of this stuff helps. For now, just take a deep breath and slow down your mind so you can take steps to do what you need to do.

Click to shrink...

I love the way you worded it.
This is an excellent advice.

 

[SeriousCrayon]

don't sweat it.You're doing fine! people make mistakes all the time. The key is to own the mistake and learn from it. People can't possibly expect you to perform at the same level as the AM since you're not the AM. Just focus on one thing at a time and work through it.

 

[bionic77]

A very important lesson is knowing when to stop working and go home.

If you work in a really busy job there is always more shit to do. You have to learn to manage your time really well and prioritize. This shit has to be done in the next 5 minutes, that can wait until after lunch, that email is a waste of time, etc.

I think after a certain amount of time you become immune to stress. Or at least I have.

 

[Deleted member 2809]

I drop everything, remember it doesn't matter that much, laugh it off, have a drink, then try to get back to it

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

sleep with your boss

 

[Rosebud]

When I started my internship I did everything wrong too, shit happens.

But I still always get home really depressed.

 

[Br3wnor]

I think after a certain amount of time you become immune to stress. Or at least I have.

Click to shrink...

Word. I work in the public sector so I'm not under the same type of pressure folks in the private sector have, but as an attorney I've dealt with non profit based stress, especially in the beginning. Tons of times being thrown in front of a judge with not much idea what I was really supposed to be doing, having to answer on my feet with my client right next to me and sometimes making a total ass out of myself. But 5 years in now I'm pretty immune to most of the stress. Once I realize how low stakes what I do on the grand scale of the universe, it makes it easier for me to just say fuck it and not care nearly as much.

You'll care less as time goes on and your job (hopefully) becomes more secure.

 

[Blader]

Remind myself that this shit is not important at all. This isn't life or death. I'm not going to have a negatively transformative impact on the lives of millions of people.

From one perspective that can be a depressing angle to take on work. But my job is fine and I like the people I work; I just don't let work define me in any way. I hardly ever work after 5 or 5:30, and never on weekends or vacations. It's just not important enough to merit that extra attention or brainpower. So I'm usually not that stressed at work, but on occasions where it does start to creep up, I try to remind myself what's actually at stake here (nothing).

 

[D23]

life is too short to go through this..

i understand your feeling op. i'm currently kinda in the same boat.. but at the end of the day.. no one is dying. and if they are going to fired me then so be it. life is too fucking short.

HEALTH is more important than anything

take care op!

 

[Venatio]

It'll get easier. Just remind yourself, it will get easier.

 

[RichardHawk]

I take a hit of wax while going for a walk. I also destroy myself at the gym 6 days a week so that gets most of my work issues out.

 

[Fallout-NL]

General advice: I came from a generation where it looks bad if you break down and people look down on you for it. However, depending on your work place, if people are more understanding, then there's nothing wrong about feeling overwhelmed and voicing it in the right ways. If the workplace is conservative (old school like a consulting firm) then definitely vent to your friends when you have time. It helps to let it out or talk with someone instead of holding the suffering in all the time.

Advice for Work: If you are on your own and expected to do everything your AM requested then hopefully your AM has gone over the procedures or processes with you at least once before. If not, then take a breath, and take a look at each of your requests. See if you have access into any internal systems or e-mails to see what the prior month's requests looked like or the files and review them. See if you can follow the process from a previous period and perform them for your current requests.

Just in case you are worried about being reprimanded or losing your job, don't be. It's unfair everything was left to you, but definitely follow up with your AM with an e-mail saying you don't know how to do a lot of these requests but you'll try to review them the best you can. When he/she comes back, sit down with him/her and tell them that you had a lot of difficulties and this experience opened up an opportunity for you to want to learn how to do all of this so you can help your AM better next time since you want to be more prepared and get more responsibility. This will show your AM that you mean business, while you may not have succeeded as much as you want from this experience, that you are ready to step up your game.

Good luck, I hope some of this stuff helps. For now, just take a deep breath and slow down your mind so you can take steps to do what you need to do.

Click to shrink...

Excellent post.

life is too short to go through this..

i understand your feeling op. i'm currently kinda in the same boat.. but at the end of the day.. no one is dying. and if they are going to fired me then so be it. life is too fucking short.

HEALTH is more important than anything

take care op!

Click to shrink...

This too. Try not to care too much.

 

[A Grizzly Bear]

Every AM I've ever worked with was always under pressure and working from behind or close to it. There are a lot of people that think their problem/request is the most crucial and important thing in the world and have no problems unloading all of that on their AM. With your lack of experience and no one to directly support you, you'll just have to try and figure it out. As has been said, this is how you get the experience to one day be able to read an email and instantly know where it lands decide when to deal with it.

For now just try to triage the emails as best you can. Anything holding up work or the business is obviously most important. When tackling something just make sure you've done what was asked of you and confirm with the requestor. Beyond that you can't waste time chasing perfection in this kind of role as it'll just put you further behind.

Most important of all: Everything will be there in the morning. If something was a priority issue, make sure you've done all you can to get things moving if you couldn't get it resolved. Accept that at the end of the day you can only do so much and don't take work him with you, both figuratively and literally. Don't check email and try to check yourself if you start to think about work.

 

[Goodlifr]

You're not alone.

But as my grandfather used to say
"Don't let the bastards get you down"

 

[Kwigo]

First of all, never let work get to you emotionally.

You'll never learn as much as during those first high stress situations. For real. I know they suck, I had them too and asked myself constantly how the people around me managed to deal with them, but the answer is extremely simple: they had those experiences as well in their early career.

It's really as simple as that. Use those experiences to grow in your career and as a person, you'll only come out stronger, wiser and more resilient.

Good luck and keep your head up :)

 

[Firewithin]

me personally after a rough day ill have a beer in the shower when i get home which relaxes me and takes my mind of stuff for a bit

 

[carlsojo]

I walk three times a day.

I've found the more I stay at my desk the more depressed I am.

 

[Hollywood Duo]

It's ok to have your emotions, you are a human like the rest of us. You are new and making some mistakes, learn from them and you will grow in your career exponentially.

 

[bionic77]

Word. I work in the public sector so I'm not under the same type of pressure folks in the private sector have, but as an attorney I've dealt with non profit based stress, especially in the beginning. Tons of times being thrown in front of a judge with not much idea what I was really supposed to be doing, having to answer on my feet with my client right next to me and sometimes making a total ass out of myself. But 5 years in now I'm pretty immune to most of the stress. Once I realize how low stakes what I do on the grand scale of the universe, it makes it easier for me to just say fuck it and not care nearly as much.

You'll care less as time goes on and your job (hopefully) becomes more secure.

Click to shrink...

:lol

I am an attorney too. I am still doing PI.

After all the bullshit in the first 5 years its just hard for me to really get stressed out, but of course when I was young I was always stressed because you have no fucking idea what you are doing.

 

[Kisaya]

I either let it out in a private space or take a nice walk during lunch.

No one is perfect at their job and there will always be highs and lows.

 

[Shokunin]

Get up and go for a walk. Good for your body and good for your mind.

 

[Deleted member 8852]

Tell people to come back later, don't stress. You are doing double duty at the moment, it's understandable to not be able to do everything at a moment's notice.

 

[Sacrilicious]

Getting the grips of a new job is always tough. One of the most important things to learn is where to draw the line and call it a day. Don't let it get to you emotionally, you're probably setting a higher standard for yourself than the people around you expect.

You were thrown in the deep end and started taking on duties well beyond your job description to help your boss. Most people wouldn't judge you harshly for being overwhelmed, especially those who have been in similar situations before (it's more common than you think).

Set reasonable goals and focus on the easier stuff. There is nothing wrong with setting more difficult tasks aside and asking a superior for help (including your AM if you need urgent help). Don't be afraid to bring up to people that you're just filling in and might not have the experience to handle certain tasks yet.

As long as your office isn't toxic, you'll find that most people are pretty sympathetic and appreciate that at least some things are being handled, rather than everything being on hold until the AM gets back.

 

[Br3wnor]

:lol

I am an attorney too. I am still doing PI.

After all the bullshit in the first 5 years its just hard for me to really get stressed out, but of course when I was young I was always stressed because you have no fucking idea what you are doing.

Click to shrink...

My legs stopped going numb every time I was in front of a judge after like a year. Trial by fire sucks but also pays off if you can make it out the other side. (Applies to all jobs IMO)

 

[dr.anderson]

One important thing to remember is everyone is out of their depth at work. Everyone is trying to figure out how to be 100% accurate and professional. But no one is. Even your CEO is feeling out of depth when they are doing their work. Hence, give your best and if you are not sure about something, its always good to be honest about it to the clients. From my experience, I always like to get an honest assessment of a situation so that I can plan accordingly, than someone who burns themselves and delivers low quality work. If you feel overwhelmed, you should also talk to your manager/mentor who is getting paid to help you with such situations. Moreover, if everyone is emailing you with a lot of work, just reply to them that you are busy with other priorities and if they want their work to get higher priority, they should talk to your manager.

 

[Viewt]

I go to therapy every other Friday afternoon. It's incredibly helpful for processing stress and limiting how much toxicity you internalize. In under a year, I've gone from having full blown panic attacks in the office to brushing the worst of it off my shoulders. Some days are still bad, but it's made a dramatic difference.

 

[Palette Swap]

I guess the first obvious thing to keep in mind, that bears repeating, is that no one would reasonably expect you to cover for your usual full workload and that of a more senior position you're covering for, which means some things will fall on the side for the time being, and that's okay.

What matters, and I know it's not easy, is identifying what's really urgent, and I know there are times everything looks urgent. Typically, internal queries are generally less urgent than client queries, but even some client queries can wait for a few days. That kind of judgment call doesn't come overnight, honestly, but the only way you learn that is by trying and putting some things on the back burner while you deliberately focus on other things. It's a risk, but that's the only way I've ever found to manage intensive workloads and queries while covering for people.

To look at it another way, what's probably expected from you when someone asks something is for you to clearly communicate how long it will take, and what you need to do, what resources you're dependent on. If you can't commit to a task or its delay, you can be transparent about it. The worst thing you can do for yourself and others is making promises you won't be able to keep.

Also, it's okay to be overwhelmed and feel like a complete fuck up. That happens to everyone. The only question is always, starting from where you are, how you make things better one step at a time. It doesn't matter that you don't make them perfect, just focus on what you're getting done and work from there.

 

[Deleted member 6263]

I've been there - you can do this, OP. Sometimes it's best to walk away from your work, even if it's for 5 minutes, just to reset your brain. I'd walk away from a problem pretty frequently only to come back with a brand new outlook on how it should be resolved.

Make sure you're getting plenty of sleep, and make sure you're not bringing these stressful moments back home. One of the worst things I've seen with my coworkers is the stress they bring from work back home, which in turn is brought back to work. Doesn't help them, and it only irritates those around them (i.e. me).

 

[Deleted member 18400]

I'm not an account manager. I am however a warehouse manager and at times I feel like I have 40 things that need to be done at the same time.

I've learned not to stress out over what I'm not getting done, but focus on what I am working on. I pick the task I think needs to be done first (based on time limits, or boss demands) and get it done as efficiently as possible and then I move on. I have a limited amount of time in my day and it's not possible for me to finish everything, not even on time sometimes. Stressing out about shit you can't control will just drive you insane.

One step in front of the other.

And my best piece of advice. When you go home at the end of the day, don't think about the shit you gotta do at work. Enjoy your time.

 

[Z-Beat]

I got up, took a quick walk around the building to calm myself. helps a lot

 

[bionic77]

My legs stopped going numb every time I was in front of a judge after like a year. Trial by fire sucks but also pays off if you can make it out the other side. (Applies to all jobs IMO)

Click to shrink...

Trial is different than most jobs because the other lawyer and/or judge will gladly make an ass out of you in front of many people if you fuck something up.

 

[MrCibb]

Sounds like you were shown into the shit pile without a stick, huh. Can't help you with anything specific to your job but as someone who's job revolves around stress and organizing quite a lot of stuff, every time work gets on top of me and I've got a lot to do I bang Excel open and just create a quick plan. Write down all my tasks, how much time I think they'll take, and then order the rows with how important they are. This then gives me an estimate of when I'll be completed and a list to work through.

Nothing fancy, but I find it therapeutic to get it out of my head and have it right there in front of me to work through. Not sure if it'll apply for you, but it helps me. My 'rando excels' folder is full of them by now.

 

[Strike]

Take a break and vent.

 

[Deleted member 8861]

Apathy and self-indulgence until I can't anymore.

:)

 

[Yahsper]

I've been there and I get you. I'll be honest and say I got a great, well paid job straight after graduating through, what I'll admit was sheer nepotism, and I was wholly underqualified for the responsibilities they gave me.

I was in a similar position, I was one of two people in my department and I got put in a positon where I was handling hundreds of thousands of euros on a daily basis with basically no oversight and lots of parties in a high stress situation depending on me not making mistakes. My boss did the best she could to mentor me but she also had a habit of taking regular vacations to de-stress and be with her very young children so often it came down to me making a call without fully understanding what I was doing, just emulating actions and behaviour I saw other people doing.

I worked there for 2 and a half years and I think I saw every single colleague of mine break down in the office at one point, and while I kept it together in the office, I definitely cried several times in my car on the way home. Especially that one time we noticed there was at least 300k missing from our bank accounts and everyone, including me, thought I was the one who fucked up, until after two weeks of research, we discovered it was just the bank breaking contract and taking small transaction fees on each of our 350+ bank accounts. I lost what may well have been the love of my life due to me being so stressed I hardly noticed anything going on in my life besides work.

The above isn't useful for you, but it's just to illustrate and to move on to what I learned from it all: in the end, you have to to keep several things in mind:
1) it honestly doesn't matter all that much. If you make a mistake, it can be fixed. Everyone in your job, including your AM, has made mistakes. They understand the situation you're in and if they're decent people, they won't blame you for making an error. They'll help you fix it, you'll learn from it, and everyone will move on.

2) Remember that it's just work and it's only a part of your life. Don't be afraid to take a moment for yourself to gather yourself. I quickly gained the habit of getting everyone's lunch because it gave me the opportunity to take a walk through the neighboring park and sit on a bench in the sun for a couple of minutes. Try to meet up with friends in the evenings and make plans during weekends with friends. See other people, have non-professional contact with real life humans. I don't know if you've known tragedies in your life but know that this isn't one. It's work, you're doing your best, and try to let it go when you leave the office.

3) You're learning at a super high pace. It's exhausting, it's stressful but in six months you'll be able to handle situations like this without breaking a sweat and all these situations you're being put in right now will be super valuable in the future. You'll know how to respond, you'll be able to put things in context, and you'll know solutions. Remember that you only need to find the solution for a problem once, every mistake you make now is one you'll know how to fix in the future.

4) You were put in this position because your AM believes you can do this. They're giving you this responsibility because they believe in you and know you'll handle it the best you can. Don't see that as added pressure to perform perfectly. Accept it as a compliment that they believe in you and that if you weren't good in what you were doing, they wouldn't put you in this position. Gain confidence from that, don't let Imposter Syndrome get the better of you!

 

[Deleted member 5028]

you may think you're panicking and messing up, but you are actually learning new stuff at a rapid pace.

Click to shrink...

This should be a bumper sticker. Well said.

 

[sgtnosboss]

ha ha I don't I take anxiety medication.

 

[elenarie]

many advice or kind words would be greatly appreciated

Click to shrink...

This is a weird thing to say, but don't feel bad about feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. It happens to everyone, including the people you most look up to.

If your company has a good support structure, try talking to someone about how you feel. I learned the hard way that suppressing feelings of stress, anxiety and being overwhelmed is actually super bad for you and it is in both your best interest and your company's best interest to provide you with help and structure to deal with those things.

 

[texhnolyze]

Get some help, or at least talk with someone in the office.

You've been there for 4 months already, you must have a friens or two, at least? Letting it all out helps tremendously, even though you don't exactly get the help for your workload.

I'm also an account manager, in charge of 2 clients. There are hectic times too for me, but I always lean on the people around me, because we're a team.

 

[TheBaldwin]

thanks for everyone's advice and kind words. After just relaxing at home for a little bit im fine now. Its mY first genuine panic moment in the job but im just going to use these two weeks as a trial by fire.

Im gonna make mistakes and have those mistakes land entirely on me, but im gonna learn from them and just got with my gut feeling rather then have the usual safety net of my mentor.

Hoping tomorrow will go much more smoothly 😁

Get some help, or at least talk with someone in the office.

You've been there for 4 months already, you must have a friens or two, at least? Letting it all out helps tremendously, even though you don't exactly get the help for your workload.

I'm also an account manager, in charge of 2 clients. There are hectic times too for me, but I always lean on the people around me, because we're a team.

Click to shrink...

Very true, but i always feel bad because these people have obviously worked there much longer and are dealing with way more things. So for me to be like 'wah im so stressed' i feel like is just insulting to them, even though its clearly not.

 

[Jmdajr]

you may think you're panicking and messing up, but you are actually learning new stuff at a rapid pace.

Click to shrink...

I will take this advice.

 

[Biske]

You really just gotta not give a shit. Anything new feels horrible and like you are a huge dumb ass, and you probably are doing somethings wrong. But just wanting to do a good job and feeling that you didn't, is like 90% above what most people do, so putting in that kind of care and attention will pay off.

Also got to realize, the average work load is fucking bullshit and companies put such an amount on us that it's not possible in reality to do it all with out cutting corners and not giving a shit, so you just gotta go with the flow #yolofuckit and do your best and then go home once you've put in your work.

 

[Fairxchange]

Every AM I've ever worked with was always under pressure and working from behind or close to it. There are a lot of people that think their problem/request is the most crucial and important thing in the world and have no problems unloading all of that on their AM. With your lack of experience and no one to directly support you, you'll just have to try and figure it out. As has been said, this is how you get the experience to one day be able to read an email and instantly know where it lands decide when to deal with it.

For now just try to triage the emails as best you can. Anything holding up work or the business is obviously most important. When tackling something just make sure you've done what was asked of you and confirm with the requestor. Beyond that you can't waste time chasing perfection in this kind of role as it'll just put you further behind.

Most important of all: Everything will be there in the morning. If something was a priority issue, make sure you've done all you can to get things moving if you couldn't get it resolved. Accept that at the end of the day you can only do so much and don't take work him with you, both figuratively and literally. Don't check email and try to check yourself if you start to think about work.

Click to shrink...

I needed this, thank you