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I am not the badass I thought I was

jack_package_200

jack_package_200

Member
Oct 25, 2017
17,537
Recently moved back into the city and since I have today off from work, I'd go to a food cart. I settled on a Thai foodcart and ordered beef noodles and lobster rangoon as a side. The lady running the cart asked how spicy I wanted the noodles on a scale of one to five (one being not spicy and 5 being very spicy). Thinking I was hot shit, I went with a four.

I. Fucked. Up.

I wasn't ready for #4. I finished the noodles but boy oh boy they kicked my ass.

ERA, has anyone or anything humbled you recently?
 
julia crawford

julia crawford

Took the red AND the blue pills
Member
Oct 27, 2017
35,183
It's more badass to be a cool dude and comfortable with not being able to handle spicy food.
 
PlanetSmasher

PlanetSmasher

The Abominable Showman
Member
Oct 25, 2017
115,551
I accidentally touched my eye while eating Nando's Peri-Peri chicken right before going to see Infinity War a couple years ago.
 
Fliesen

Fliesen

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,253
I've accepted that the owner of the turkish food cart will always laugh at my face when i order my food "just a liiiittle bit spicy" - "a liiiitle, bit, huh? hahahaha"

Like, more than half a spoonful of those ... uhm ... little dried chili flakes, and i can't enjoy my Kebab :(
 
Glimpse_Dog

Glimpse_Dog

Banned
Oct 29, 2017
1,770
I watched the eurosong contest movie on netflix and teared up.

I don't even watch the actual damn eurosong contest :P
 
Ciao

Ciao

Member
Jun 14, 2018
4,842
Was at a known curry chain in Kabukicho in october. They told us spice was ranked from 1 to 10. You had to have already proved yourself by eating a plate of 5 before unlocking 6 to 10. All my friends took 1 or 2, and I tried to flex by going straight to 5.

Tears. Running nose. Sweat. All in abundance. And the most strong hiccup I've ever had in my life. I don't regret it, but that may have been my limit. I'll try 6 next time I go to Japan, but I probably won't make it out alive.
 
powersurge

powersurge

Member
Nov 2, 2017
925
Pensacola, FL
Hahaha been there done that. I too have had the thought "I eat tabasco like its ketchup" and then noped out of stuff far spicier. My acid reflux hates me lol
 
Muffin

Muffin

Member
Oct 26, 2017
10,342
I once prepared food with really spicy Thai chillies and didnt even consider that the tiny remnants on my fingers would get onto my contact lenses when I took them out that evening.

The next morning was hell.
 
mugurumakensei

mugurumakensei

Elizabeth, I’m coming to join you!
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,320
Having 6 lines of red sauce at a place called Halal Guys. My pride forced to me to finish so I paid twice.
 
OP
OP
jack_package_200

jack_package_200

Member
Oct 25, 2017
17,537
Fliesen said:
I've accepted that the owner of the turkish food cart will always laugh at my face when i order my food "just a liiiittle bit spicy" - "a liiiitle, bit, huh? hahahaha"

Like, more than half a spoonful of those ... uhm ... little dried chili flakes, and i can't enjoy my Kebab :(
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There is an Iranian food cart next to the Thai one and they have lamb kebabs over rice. Gotta give it a try tomorrow.

God I love living in the city
 
Ruisu

Ruisu

Banned
Aug 1, 2019
5,535
Brasil
I have no idea how spicy is 5 in that scale, but as someone who knows a little bit about spices, a scale from 1 to 5 is not nearly enough to cover how spicy spices can get
 
THEVOID

THEVOID

Prophet of Regret
Member
Oct 27, 2017
22,843
The Halal Guys kicked my ass. The first time I went there I said put some more hot sauce on it because it was just one line. Holy crap I wasn't prepared.
 
scottbeowulf

scottbeowulf

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,348
United States
Real Thai food doesn't fuck around. And I bet they looooove getting people thinking they can handle their spice when they really don't know what they're in for.
 
spookyduzt

spookyduzt

Drive-In Mutant
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
10,844
feb15be4-6a04-4784-b3bkcz.jpeg


~Ancient Florida Man Proverb
 
FRANKEINSTEIN

FRANKEINSTEIN

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,142
AZ
I worked produce at a Safeway and had this meat dept guy always talking shit how he can handle the hottest food. Big dude too, like 4 or 5 inches taller than my 6 ft ass. Anyways, we get in ghost peppers and he starts his shit talking. So we offered him one. This 16 or 17 year old small skinny carryout shows up too and wants to try it. Both take big bites out of a pepper each. Cut to like 30 min later, meat dept guy had to go home sick and the little skinny carryout is just walking around pretty much fine. Little sweatier than usual but just fine.
Next day, meat dept guy telling us he had the worst night of his life.
I know what I can handle and can not. I don't fuck with ghost peppers.
 
Hiphopopotamus

Hiphopopotamus

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
7,885
You'll never hear me asking for anything spicier than 2. Anywhere.

If they don't have a scale I tell them make it just spicy enough for an American White guy, and they usually get the point
 
Nome

Nome

Designer / Self-requested ban
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
3,312
NYC
When Southeast Asians ask you how spicy take that shit seriously
 
taahahmed

taahahmed

Prophet of Truth
Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
621
United States
I'm a brown dude who loves spicy stuff but yeah, I can't take that shit anymore... Habanero sauces KILL ME, for example. I feel you, OP.
 
Lexad

Lexad

Member
Nov 4, 2017
3,044
I am a white guy and always get stares at Ramen, Indian, or Mexican food restaurants to bump it to the top on spicy. It helps that I grew up on the border in Texas so I don't have taste buds anymore. My friends don't believe me when I say something isn't that spicy.

Humbling was losing my job recently but very blessed for family to have a place to land on my feet
 
Doc Kelso

Doc Kelso

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,157
NYC
There's a halal cart near my office that I used to visit once per week before the shutdown happened. Came to know the guys fairly well. Typical combo (lamb + chicken) and rice deal, $5. Delicious and simple!

Well, they have hot sauce. I always asked for it hot because goddamn I love spicy food. One day when I was getting my food, the dude asked me if I wanted it "authentic spicy". I said, "Yes, please," thinking I was powerful and could easily handle it.

I could not handle it. I was sweating for the rest of the day while my mouth slowly regained a semblance of feeling after 6 hours. When I went back next week the guys took one and at the cart laughed. When they asked if I wanted it "authentic spicy" again I couldn't help but laugh. Never again will I flirt with death as I did that day.
 
shrapnelmagnet

shrapnelmagnet

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,324
Vancouver
It happens sometimes. I love spicy food and would say I have a pretty high tolerance. However, I generally don't go full spice-level from a place I haven't been to. Non-Chinese East Asian restaurants / offerings I generally treat with a lot of respect haha, especially if I see a lot of East Asian people eating there 🙂 Basically the more white people I see in a restaurant, the more likely I am to order a higher spice level (if it's an option). I live in Vancouver, Canada so it's a pretty effective heuristic.

I've gotten smoked by Chinese spots before, but it's rare. Usually when a menu item says "SPICY!" it's never remotely spicy. Those Szechuan peppercorns can be fierce, though, and they're unlike almost anything else with their mouth-numbing effects.
 
Poppy

Poppy

Member
Oct 25, 2017
18,269
richmond, va
sichuan peppercorns are the best, i stir fried some cabbage yesterday with a ton of it

i looove spicy food but it does make me react kinda poorly sometimes these days, like i dont end up sleeping that well

probably just cuz i eat too much of it tho
 
ChubbyHuggs

ChubbyHuggs

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,262
jack_package_200 said:
Recently moved back into the city and since I have today off from work, I'd go to a food cart. I settled on a Thai foodcart and ordered beef noodles and lobster rangoon as a side. The lady running the cart asked how spicy I wanted the noodles on a scale of one to five (one being not spicy and 5 being very spicy). Thinking I was hot shit, I went with a four.

I. Fucked. Up.

I wasn't ready for #4. I finished the noodles but boy oh boy they kicked my ass.

ERA, has anyone or anything humbled you recently?
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Pffft. I always get a 4 or 5 when getting Thai food. You're just a baby 😝
 
Goldenroad

Goldenroad

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Nov 2, 2017
9,475
Thai spicy is a different kind of spicy. Never go full heat when ordering Thai food. Rookie mistake.
 
BLEEN

BLEEN

Member
Oct 27, 2017
21,876
GARlock Spiral said:
I decided to try hot wings once with an extra drenching of hot sauce and Wasabi.
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Wasabi isn't actually hot nor spicy. It's a bunch of vapors that mess with your air passages (allyl isothiocyanate which is a lachrymator similar to tear gas). I can eat spoonfuls (massive amounts of horseradish too!). The trick is breathe out, eat, swallow, breathe in. I've won many a bet at parties and bars doing this lmao
 
Rellodex

Rellodex

Member
Oct 29, 2017
2,160
BLEEN said:
Wasabi isn't actually hot nor spicy. It's a bunch of vapors that mess with your air passages (allyl isothiocyanate which is a lachrymator similar to tear gas). I can eat spoonfuls (massive amounts of horseradish too!). The trick is breathe out, eat, swallow, breathe in. I've won many a bet at parties and bars doing this lmao
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It's such a great taste and sensation though!

But totally different than spicy.
 
BLEEN

BLEEN

Member
Oct 27, 2017
21,876
Rellodex said:
It's such a great taste and sensation though!

But totally different than spicy.
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Yep. I love the stuff. It seriously will fuck you up if you consume it wrong and in big dabs. Most don't tho and use it as a garnish. I'm always letting people know it's different than capsaicin (in most 'hot' peppers). Another instance of this is black/white pepper which also doesn't get its heat from capsaicin - it gets it from piperine.

Now I want them all in one dish. NOW.
 

Deleted member 13188

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,970
My tolerance for spicy food dropped considerably post 30, YMMV but just a tip; put the toilet roll in the freezer before you try any spicy food OP.
 
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