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I’m in an addiction recovery center. It feels... nice?

UltraMav

UltraMav

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,727
So I had a come to Jesus moment the other night when I got so shitfaced I fell and hit my head. Woke up and saw blood on my pillow and had scabs on my head. Hurt like hell, didn't remember it happening at all. I still don't know where or when it happened.

Anyways, after being cleared of major head trauma at the ER. I called up this fancy private recovery center.

Haven't committed to anything yet, but everyone has been so nice and they were even like "if you can't pay your bill we will never send you to collections."

Met a young kid with drug addiction and he's just beaming about being about to graduate next week and how awesome this place is. Feels almost like a sales plant, but I'm enjoying the positivity.

No real point to this thread, I suppose,just wanted to share while I wait for group therapy to begin (they offered to let me sit in for a bit to see how it works).

If anyone else is or has been in recovery, I would like to hear any experiences you have to share about the process.
 
QisTopTier

QisTopTier

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,717
You are already past the biggest hurdle and that's seeking help on your own. This is great you got this.
 
Mariachi507

Mariachi507

Member
Oct 26, 2017
5,292
Yeah. I've been for the last four to five years. Although it's become more difficult to stay in a program while having my job. Thankfully I'm in a much better place nowadays, but I try to be careful to not let my guard down.
 
Jeffolation

Jeffolation

Member
Oct 30, 2017
7,117
Landing a a well run private facility can be a a real lifesaver. Getting clean, getting perspective, invaluable. Great pivot point to change things.
 

Deleted member 22750

Oct 28, 2017
13,267
Johnny_5.jpg

Johnny 5 would be proud
 
JustJavi

JustJavi

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,116
New Zealand
Congratz OP! I had a cocaine addiction when I was 18, and my parents sent me out of the country to keep me away from bad company (my toxic ex who got me in the shit). Gonna be clean for 17 years on the 23rd of this month.
 
THEVOID

THEVOID

Prophet of Regret
Member
Oct 27, 2017
22,860
First step is wanting to be helped and you are already there.
 
OP
OP
UltraMav

UltraMav

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,727
Just wanted to say thanks for all the kind words. It was a pleasantly surprising positive experience and I think I'm going to commit, at this point. Special thanks to those who expressed similar circumstances.
 
Nepenthe

Nepenthe

When the music hits, you feel no pain.
Administrator
Oct 25, 2017
20,694
We're rooting for you, OP. Get well soon!
 
Mahonay

Mahonay

Member
Oct 25, 2017
33,316
Pencils Vania
Congrats on taking the first and massive step OP. Glad it's going well so far.

I've been sober for over a year now and I constantly think about how much more manageable my life is when I'm not waking up in a stupor unsure of what happened the previous night. Waking up with mysterious cuts and bruises was something I was too familiar with.
 
Zen

Zen

The Wise Ones
Member
Nov 1, 2017
9,658
Hardest part was realizing and accepting you needed help. Glad you sought it out dude
 
OP
OP
UltraMav

UltraMav

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,727
Coleslaw said:
(I was just kidding in case it wasn't clear), but court ordered or not most inpatient facilities are going to restrict your communications including internet.
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Ah, understood. It's an outpatient deal, mostly, here. Just gotta show up three times a week and submit to random drug tests.
 

Deleted member 5491

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
5,249
To make this step to seek help is an impressive feat. I wish you the very best on your way
and I think we all here would be pleased the hear some updates along the way
 
Xandalan

Xandalan

Member
Oct 17, 2020
1,487
I am at a point where I've taken too many punches and im too old. I have never been with anyone. People can say keep trying but people don't want damaged goods. I just survive for my loved ones.
 
NateDog

NateDog

Member
Jan 8, 2018
1,764
Can't give you any advice but going to do this yourself is an enormous step and a very brave one. I hope things work out for you OP, best of luck.
 
OP
OP
UltraMav

UltraMav

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,727
Xandalan said:
I am at a point where I've taken too many punches and im too old. I have never been with anyone. People can say keep trying but people don't want damaged goods. I just survive for my loved ones.
Click to expand...
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I would highly suggest looking into a similar facility where you live. The greatest bump I got to my willingness to triumph over this was meeting people who made me realize I wasn't alone.
 
Xandalan

Xandalan

Member
Oct 17, 2020
1,487
I tried AA it didn't help. I tried medication it didn't help. When you have been punched too many times and you know you are about to be 35+ without anyone saying they loved you how can you continue.
 
Xandalan

Xandalan

Member
Oct 17, 2020
1,487
I am really not ugly. I have had friends introduce me to women and it didn't work out. I have been a lurker in neogaf and this forum for years and understood and reflected and realized. Is it because im in Arkansas do I need to move to a urban city?
 
Xandalan

Xandalan

Member
Oct 17, 2020
1,487
UltraMav said:
So I had a come to Jesus moment the other night when I got so shitfaced I fell and hit my head. Woke up and saw blood on my pillow and had scabs on my head. Hurt like hell, didn't remember it happening at all. I still don't know where or when it happened.

Anyways, after being cleared of major head trauma at the ER. I called up this fancy private recovery center.

Haven't committed to anything yet, but everyone has been so nice and they were even like "if you can't pay your bill we will never send you to collections."

Met a young kid with drug addiction and he's just beaming about being about to graduate next week and how awesome this place is. Feels almost like a sales plant, but I'm enjoying the positivity.

No real point to this thread, I suppose,just wanted to share while I wait for group therapy to begin (they offered to let me sit in for a bit to see how it works).

If anyone else is or has been in recovery, I would like to hear any experiences you have to share about the process.
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I am sorry OP I should have commented I am going through the same thing. Your plight spoke to me. I am trying medication. I was punched in the face probably leaving a permanent scar. I am lucky enough I could afford to attend a place such as you but without experiencing love its not enough.
 
OP
OP
UltraMav

UltraMav

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,727
Xandalan said:
I am really not ugly. I have had friends introduce me to women and it didn't work out. I have been a lurker in neogaf and this forum for years and understood and reflected and realized. Is it because im in Arkansas do I need to move to a urban city?
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Click to shrink...

We're about the same age and this inability to find validation through a significant other is a major contributor to my emotional pain and my chemical dependence. What I've begun to realize is that my drug abuse has only contributed to my loneliness, and was exacerbated by the pandemic and the inability to hook up with other alcoholics. I don't have all the answers and I'm just barely starting to get help but I can for sure tell you that you're not alone, and I encourage you to continue to seek assistance.
 
Xandalan

Xandalan

Member
Oct 17, 2020
1,487
UltraMav said:
I would highly suggest looking into a similar facility where you live. The greatest bump I got to my willingness to triumph over this was meeting people who made me realize I wasn't alone.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
UltraMav said:
I would highly suggest looking into a similar facility where you live. The greatest bump I got to my willingness to triumph over this was meeting people who made me realize I wasn't alone.
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
I might be in denial but I have been told I have qualities that don't make sense that I am alone have you experienced that?
 
Xandalan

Xandalan

Member
Oct 17, 2020
1,487
UltraMav said:
We're about the same age and this inability to find validation through a significant other is a major contributor to my emotional pain and my chemical dependence. What I've begun to realize is that my drug abuse has only contributed to my loneliness, and was exacerbated by the pandemic and the inability to hook up with other alcoholics. I don't have all the answers and I'm just barely starting to get help but I can for sure tell you that you're not alone, and I encourage you to continue to seek assistance.
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Its rude to ask someone that just started help. I appreciate you reaching out and talking with me. I have been told im attractive but I can't find anyone. I always though it was because im 35+ and nerdy but I think its my social skills. I am also starting to think its because I bring dates to bars do you have a similar experience?
 
Xandalan

Xandalan

Member
Oct 17, 2020
1,487
UltraMav said:
Absolutely. As someone who has felt similarly, are you looking for female companionship?
[/QUOTe
Women speak to me. I understand and want to be around them. There was a period I thought I felt differently but it was just because I was taught to ignore emotions. I enjoy women companionship.
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Xandalan

Xandalan

Member
Oct 17, 2020
1,487
I want other lonely men to realize women don't owe you anything and they aren't the cause of your problems. Society trained you to just accept things. Be yourself whatever your upbringing you have to work hard. Women do too. Be yourself even if the world beats you down. Make it a better place yea life might be worse but Im sure you will feel less alone.
 
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