The year started rough for me as I was recovering from a bad break up. But January/Feb I pulled myself together, hit the gym hard and looked the best I had in years. By the time I was ready to date in March the pandemic hit. So there went my social life and friend circle. I was furloughed from work until July. Things started to look up a bit, but working restaurant industry during a pandemic with owners that were pressuring the staff to make up the losses from earlier in the year it became very stressful and toxic to work there but I soldiered on. Fast forward to November's second wave lockdown and I was permanently laid off. First time in my life I've been without work and with the job market shutdown there isn't much out there minus cannabis stores. Still no love life. No work. No gym. No friend circle: it all finnally hit me. And I cracked.
Depresson, apathy, low self worth and doubt has clouded my every pore. It's in my bones.
I checked in with my doctor and I'm back on anti depressions, and I'm back to seeing a therapist weekly to help me out of this funk because most days the dark inner demons are so loud I barely get out of bed. This has put a strain on my home life and my roomate can barely tolerate me and suggested I maybe move out in the spring as my low mood is effecting her.
So here I welcome 2021: no job, losing my physical health, mental health at a fragilestate, no romance or sex life, no friends, and now possibly no home. It's legit a bad year.
