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how to deal with loneliness

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Deleted member 17990

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Oct 27, 2017
7,461
I only have 2 friends I hang out with that I made from highschool, even so thats only once every week - 2 weeks.

I'm not a very social person and I'm almost certainly an introvert.

I do literally nothing on weekends and I don't drink so I'm not social at all, haven't been to a party on over 10 years.

I game to pass the time but thats about it really. If people suggested an event to go to I'm the type of guy who would prefer to just stay at home.
 
thetrin

thetrin

Member
Oct 26, 2017
7,620
Atlanta, GA
Find times to spend with the few friends you have in intimate settings where you can connect with them. It's never about the quantity of friends, but the quality. Trust me on this.
 
nsilvias

nsilvias

Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,712
just go to social events when you are invited. is going out every once in a while going to really kill you? it could be fun, maybe even the best night of your life
 
eXistor

eXistor

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,274
I'm like you I don't go out at all and really prefer being alone. I just do whatever I like to be honest and I genuinely don't feel lonely at all. It's been a conscious decision early on for me though, so I accept the fact I don't really have friends because it's a 100% my choice. But again, I don't feel like I'm missing out at all. It may bite me in the ass later on in life but at 38 I'm doing just fine.
 
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Deleted member 8752

User requested account closure
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Oct 26, 2017
10,122
Not being lonely requires effort. If you say no to invites to places, you have no one to blame really. You can have friends without drinking if put the time into it.
 
Spinluck

Spinluck

▲ Legend ▲
Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
28,427
Chicago
Get a pet. Where do you live? See what local meetups and/or events may be going on, there's a lot those in fall. Join a club of sorts. Gaming online used to be my only social activity and I've met a handful of life long friends that way dating back to the PS3. 2 close good friends are better than just 10 friends in my book. Sounds like you want to spread yourself out some more socially but might not have a lot of capital to do it. I just moved to a big city this year and already made a ton of friends and I'm pretty introverted. Just put yourself in situations when you're likely to meet people.
 
Zip

Zip

Member
Oct 28, 2017
4,019
Find ways to socialize on your own terms (more or less anyway) if you would like to connect with more people.

You don't have to go to parties or clubs or whatever. What about hobby groups, or events related to your interests? Do what you would like to do and if you meet new friends along the way then great.

You could add in things like actively trying to talk to at least one new person when you do something, or go for more explicitly socializing things where people are actively looking to connect.

It won't happen every time but here and there you might connect enough with someone that you want to meet up with again. Go for coffee or something else of mutual interest and keep things rolling. Never depend on others being the active agent because really many people are just as passive. If you end up not clicking that much then oh well, there will be others.

You should probably think about what situation would make you happy if you are not currently. One more friend? Two? Going out multiple times a week? Once a week? Having people over? It's up to you to decide what you want.
 
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Chixdiggit

Chixdiggit

Banned
Oct 31, 2017
1,447
Jiu Jitsu, Muay Thai, or any other Martial Art is great exercise and a way to meet and interact with people.
 
Ninjadom

Ninjadom

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,191
London, UK
eXistor said:
I'm like you I don't go out at all and really prefer being alone. I just do whatever I like to be honest and I genuinely don't feel lonely at all. It's been a conscious decision early on for me though, so I accept the fact I don't really have friends because it's a 100% my choice. But again, I don't feel like I'm missing out at all. It may bite me in the ass later on in life but at 38 I'm doing just fine.
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Do you ever feel the need for a partner to be with? What about sex? I'm guessing you've spent so much time alone that it'd be difficult to be with someone.
 
eXistor

eXistor

Member
Oct 27, 2017
12,274
Ninjadom said:
Do you ever feel the need for a partner to be with? What about sex? I'm guessing you've spent so much time alone that it'd be difficult to be with someone.
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Nope, to be honest that sounds like hell to me. It's not like I'm a social outcast; I have no problem talking to people, that would be a huge problem in managerial job in retail! It's just a preference.
 
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