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How many sexual intercourse parnters would you consider a lot?

Deleted member 2779

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
4,045
Neoweee said:
My initial thought was something like a 100, but that really isn't all that many for somebody that spends a decent number of years not in a committed relationship but still out there up for hookups/FWB/flings.

There's no raw number that is too high.
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Yeah I was thinking about a specific window rather than an overall number which would make me honestly go, yo that's a lot. To be realistic though even if I believe in the abstract that there's no prescribed number, I'm gonna have a reaction based on the perceived average of the social context. It'd differ for people my age say in New Zealand compared to Korea.
 
Orioto

Orioto

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,716
Paris
I don't really live in a normal world regarding those things... Ways of life can be pretty different :p
 
thewienke

thewienke

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,957
Manu said:
Whenever I read threads like these I remember my number is 3 and my self-esteem plummets. I feel like a fucking alien who can't function as a regular human.

I know it shouldn't because I've had long time relationships but still. "Oh yeah, 200 people, no biggie." Well shit.
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Google says the median for men is 7 and the median for women is 4.

There's a whole culture based around waiting for marriage so they've had sex with exactly one person.

Basically no one should feel insecure about their number whatever their situation.
 
Desi

Desi

Member
Oct 30, 2017
4,210
A lot is subjective. I would say anything over 150 and not being in sex work a whole lot. But I only had sex with 6 or 7 people. A woman I dated use to keep a spreadsheet with everyone she slept with and the dates with the moon cycle and shit. It was in the 30's I believe?
 
Lunar Wolf

Lunar Wolf

Banned
Nov 6, 2017
16,237
Los Angeles
Poltergust said:
STIs don't work like that. It's not like you're filling up some metaphorical bar where if you had sex with x amount of people, then you get an STI.

You can get one of those after just 1 partner or never get one after 100 partners. All that matters is how you handle your sexual health.
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But also reminder that here's no such thing as completely safe sex though. You can get HPV or transfer HPV even with a condom. It provides protection but not as high as with others.
 
DTC

DTC

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,582
As someone who values committed relationships, I would consider it a turnoff if someone my age (21) had more than 20 sexual partners and I would be unlikely to date them.
 

Deleted member 13328

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
5,247
I'm not really sure how many I've slept with. It's not that many. Less than 40 at least. But I'd have a hard time getting a specific number.

And now that I think on it, that feels like a lot of people, like gather them in a room and that would be a lot of people, and a wierd situation.
 
Uncle Squingis

Uncle Squingis

Member
Jan 3, 2018
3,406
Star-Lord said:
This a strange question to ask but I had this question asked upon someone at work. It floored me, I've personally only slept with three people. (Im currently 23) I would consider sleeping with more then 15 a lot but my co-worker laughed and said really. And she stated she thought over 30 would be a lot. She told me she slept well over 50 people and shes the same age as me. It actually floored me, I didn't expect that high of number but also something i never thought of before.
What would you consider is a lot for sexual intercourse?
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I think being 23 and having slept with over 50 people qualifies as "a lot."
 

Deleted member 15240

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,460
There's no such thing as too much or too little IMO. Maybe it sounds like virtue signaling or something but I honestly don't think about sex or sexual history that way.
 
Owl

Owl

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,139
California
Eh, I knew people in college who would find some random at a party every weekend and have casual sex. I can see them getting to a high number after a few years and only be 21/22 years old.

Doesn't mean anything really though so no need to ask how many your partner has had.
 
Last edited:

Deleted member 13496

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
7,409
DTC said:
As someone who values committed relationships, I would consider it a turnoff if someone my age (21) had more than 20 sexual partners and I would be unlikely to date them.
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AnotherHastyAmericanindianhorse-size_restricted.gif


Oh you're so pure.
 
Odrion

Odrion

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
1,148
If she was a widower of police officers for all of those past relationships, then 410,757,864,530.
 
Keio

Keio

Member
Nov 5, 2017
922
Nothing wrong with any number, as long as it's consenting adults feeling good about what they do.
 
RDreamer

RDreamer

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,106
I dunno, 20? I don't care one bit and don't find "a lot" to be a negative. It's just higher than average and higher than me enough to qualify for the description.
 
Tunichtgut

Tunichtgut

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,294
Germany
Why does a number even matter, or what does it say about you?

If your friend is 23, and she had had sex for let's say 5 years, since she was 18, thats 10 sexual partner per year, that's actually nothing.
 
Axe

Axe

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,757
United Kingdom
I think the frequency of sexual encounters with new partners is probably going to be a much better indicator than the overall total amount.

50 over several years isn't that much. 50 over a few months would be a different thing entirely though.
 
Fatoy

Fatoy

Member
Mar 13, 2019
7,228
It doesn't really bother me, but I guess anything over 40 or 50 would be considered quite a few. I've slept with fewer people than that, so I might just be extrapolating from my own experience.
 
Keio

Keio

Member
Nov 5, 2017
922
DTC said:
As someone who values committed relationships, I would consider it a turnoff if someone my age (21) had more than 20 sexual partners and I would be unlikely to date them.
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Also your loss. Sex is a skill you learn by doing. Partners with experience are best partners.
 
StrangerDanger

StrangerDanger

Member
Jul 18, 2018
5,863
Don't really care for the number. Only few things I really care about.

Sexual health. If you are actively getting checkups and all that jazz to remain healthy. Even if u had 1 partner or many but didn't bother and you have complications that never got check up on.

Skills in bedroom. I've been with females that have had lots of partners but they weren't that good in bed.

Also lots of people have different definitions of sex. Some consider only intercourse, other consider handjobs being apart of it. Etc. Doesn't matter to me
 

Deleted member 49611

Nov 14, 2018
5,052
if you're being safe then knock yourself out i guess.

i dont tend to sleep around and only have sex with people i'm really serious about. i'd probably say no more than 5. for whatever it's worth i've had sex with 2 people in my life. some people do it for fun without much thought but again i only want to have sex with people i really love.
 
DTC

DTC

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,582
shnurgleton said:
The insinuation that you must have multiple partners in order to be good at sex is a really bad one and reinforces some very unhealthy attitudes about sex
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Yeah, someone who's had sex with one committed partner can be a lot better than someone who's had sex with 20 partners. I've had sex with people with a lot of partners and it really wasn't even enjoyable.

Why do people have a problem with me saying that women who have slept with more than 20 guys by the age of 21 is a turnoff for serious dating? Y'all do know that the average woman doesn't even come close to that number by the end of their lifetime, right?
 
Gaf Zombie

Gaf Zombie

The Fallen
Dec 13, 2017
2,239
I feel like my experience was outside the norm so 'a lot' for me would probably start around 200 or something.

On the other hand I couldn't imagine myself getting serious with someone sexually promiscuous.

So it depends on the context I guess.
 
jelly

jelly

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
33,841
As long as your being safe, seems like no big deal, sex is enjoyable.

I think if you've had 30+ relationships that last some amount of time and aren't mostly fun sexual encounters that would probably be a red flag to me.
 
Patsy

Patsy

Member
Jun 7, 2019
1,279
Germany
50 like actual partners you had relationships with in our age (early 20s) would definitely be A Lot, but 50 one night stands? Eh. As long as people use protection and are hygenic it's not my business or anyone's really.
 
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