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ArkkAngel007

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
4,996
How dumb is everyone is the Attack of the Clones assassination attempt?

The whole film is nonsense. So much concern with having A and B to get ultimately to C, but without making sure there's a line between to make that path.

Padme accepts and even falls more in love with Anakin after his fascist ideology input that is counter to her beliefs.

Padme just ignores the wholesale slaughter of a tribe of indigenous people.

Just the whole 'eww creepo" to "uwu" within a few days/a week towards Anakin with the aforementioned factored in.

Kenobi knowing a Sith Lord is out there in addition to Maul, that Dooku probably wasn't either master or apprentice to them, and completely blows off Dooku's claim of a Sith Lord mucking about in the Grand Republic senate.

Speaking of, Dooku being vague with Obi-Wan when he could have just outed Palpatine and easily turn Kenobi right then and there if he wanted him as an apprentice. Imagine the anger from realizing Palpatine was influencing Anakin that way and had ultimately lead to Qui Gons death on Naboo. Dooku could even convince that he went rogue to protect the Jedi from the Chancellor/Senate.

Yoda also just blowing off everything before and after with Anakin. There wasn't anything vague or clouded with that, but sure, let's just focus on the already dead guy instead of the one you still have a chance to do something about.

Jedi just accepting and keeping this random ass clone army, of which their template was the man in the company of Dooku and the Separatists and the culprit of the assassination attempt. War or not, things were dropped pretty much immediately. Iirc they weren't even looking for Sifo Dyas when they found the crashed ship in The Clone Wars.
 

TheXbox

Prophet of Truth
Member
Oct 29, 2017
6,557
George was tripping on this one

Obi Wan stumbling into a clone factory and badly pretending like he knew about it is fucking hilarious
 

Aurc

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,890
Yeah, why did Jango give this job to her? It's his target.
So, say some old dude is paying you 100 grand to take out a target. You're a renowned bounty hunter with a vast network of connections and resources, so if you can find someone who will do it for 75 (and you know they typically do solid work), that's effectively 25 grand for you in take-home money, just for acting as a glorified middleman.

Jango is on that "work smarter, not harder" grindset. That's gotta be it.
 

Rookhelm

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,690
The part I find weirdest is that obiwan finds this clone army, who cloned the very person who tried to kill him, anakin, and padme, and just accepted the clones were good?
 

onyx

Member
Dec 25, 2017
2,527
Characters become very dumb in a lot media for no real reason other than plot.

The Jedi were useful idiots throughout the ST though so I wrote stuff like this off as par for the course.
 

CorpseLight

Member
Nov 3, 2018
7,666
Uses droid to cut a hole in window
Droid deploys Space-ipedes
Bounty Hunter gets killed with a poison dart when caught.

...Why didn't you just use the poison dart in the very beginning on Padme.
 

Duane

Unshakable Resolve
The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
6,440
The part I find weirdest is that obiwan finds this clone army, who cloned the very person who tried to kill him, anakin, and padme, and just accepted the clones were good?

Also, the Kaminoans tell him that it's an army of ten year olds (at the oldest), and he's cool with that and leads them in a vicious bloody war the next 4 years.
 

Crossing Eden

Member
Oct 26, 2017
53,317
Listen, let's not turn this into a TLJ thread. The prequels are mostly fine.
TLJ has no bearing on the quality of these movies, or the fact that they're bad. 👀

The part I find weirdest is that obiwan finds this clone army, who cloned the very person who tried to kill him, anakin, and padme, and just accepted the clones were good?
That was commissioned by a dude who's been dead for 10 years. On a planet, that was removed from the Jedi archives. That is actually a great mystery, but the Jedi don't react at all to it.
 

Dary

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,410
The English Wilderness
Aren't the bugs a reference to You Only Live Twice?

Why don't the Imperials destroy the lifepod the droids use to escape at the start of ANH? And why don't their scanners pick up droids inside, given how ubiquitous they are in the world? If Imperial scanners can't even rat out basic droids, why aren't the rebels outfitted with droid armies??!
 

Crossing Eden

Member
Oct 26, 2017
53,317
Aren't the bugs a reference to You Only Live Twice?

Why don't the Imperials destroy the lifepod the droids use to escape at the start of ANH? And why don't their scanners pick up droids inside, given how ubiquitous they are in the world? If Imperial scanners can't even rat out basic droids, why aren't the rebels outfitted with droid armies??!
Who would fund the droid armies and why would a lack of scanning give them a tactical advantage beyond the initial surprise of droids?
 
Oct 8, 2019
9,141
That's just smart business. Why do a job when you can hire someone to do it cheaper and pocket the difference?

Thats what happened in China except instead of a hitman hiring a hitman, it was a hitman hiring a hitman hiring a hitman hiring a hitman hiring a hitman hiring a hitman.

www.insider.com

A Chinese businessman hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, court documents say. Now they've all been sentenced to prison.

The job went through five hitmen before the fifth hitman struck a deal with the victim to fake his death instead of killing him.
 

Keuja

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,185
In a world with sentient robots and planet size ships that goes faster than light, the best they could do for assassination is a venomous bug lol? Is this the middle age?
 

PanzerKraken

Member
Nov 1, 2017
14,995
That was commissioned by a dude who's been dead for 10 years. On a planet, that was removed from the Jedi archives. That is actually a great mystery, but the Jedi don't react at all to it.

Trained by the killer he was hunting after.

Not to long after Count Dooku spells out the entire evil plot of Palpatine and practically screams out who is behind it all and like, its all forgotten
 

Herr Starr

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,227
Norway
The part I find weirdest is that obiwan finds this clone army, who cloned the very person who tried to kill him, anakin, and padme, and just accepted the clones were good?

This part has been discussed in detail on this forum before, and it sounds like you missed what might be one of the most central points of the movie, however clumsily it might have been told.

Palpatine had set things up so that the Jedi would basically have to not look the gift horse in the mouth. They were facing war and had no united army to muster in response to an external threat. And then, boom, it turns out a missing Jedi apparently foresaw this happening for reasons that nobody understands or has the time (or resources) to look into, and he prepared an advanced clone army that the Republic is free to use as it wants.

The Jedi are incredibly suspicious of the whole thing, but what can they do? It might be a trap, but it's also their biggest hope. And I strongly suspect that the Jedi were too arrogant and stuck up their own asses to even consider the possibility that they might be taken advantage of, another central point in these movies.

The clone army was the most important part of Palpatine's plan. He needed it put in place if he were to ever implement Order 66. By arranging the entire war with the Trade Federation, he made it practically impossible for the Republic to refuse putting Palpatine's (unknowing) agents in a position of power. This was what it was all about: create a massive existential threat for the Republic to face, then offer them a weapon to fight back with. Only this weapon was poisoned.

Jango's personality and motives were irrelevant since cloning doesn't duplicate those.
 

maigret

Member
Jun 28, 2018
3,192
Thats what happened in China except instead of a hitman hiring a hitman, it was a hitman hiring a hitman hiring a hitman hiring a hitman hiring a hitman hiring a hitman.

www.insider.com

A Chinese businessman hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, who hired a hitman, court documents say. Now they've all been sentenced to prison.

The job went through five hitmen before the fifth hitman struck a deal with the victim to fake his death instead of killing him.

Now this could work as a movie by itself. Like a Get Shorty type of comedy. As a plot in your major science fantasy motion picture, it is just silly.
 

Gunny T Highway

Unshakable Resolve - One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 27, 2017
17,018
Canada
I actually read the OP's post in Plinkett's voice. Yeah it is pretty dumb and you can lay it all on the feet of George since no one challenged him.
 

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
OP is grasping at straws and all of this is quite explainable.

Padme was stubborn and naive. She didn't want the protection of the Jedi there to begin with.

Analog didn't jump out the window because he was the one who checked on Padme, which was in character for him.

It seemingly is not uncommon for bounty hunters to work with other bounty hunters or assassins to get their deeds done in the Star Wars universe and it's not that big of a stretch and is seen even in the new Boba Fett show.
 

Htown

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,319
"The prequels are good" is something that people convinced themselves is true while they're full of scenes as stupid as this one.

😬
my theory is that what people actually like is Clone Wars, which makes them feel good about the prequel era as a whole, even though the movies themselves are mostly terrible

after all, once you watch clone wars, the prequel movies are just a small percentage of the overall prequel content
 

Replicant

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
9,380
MN
No way in hell you'd get the star wars fan base to agree that AOTC is better than Book of Boba Fett. I can't even think of a single high moment in AOTC while Book has several within the first three episodes alone.
I actually like a lot about attack of the clones outside of the 3rd act.
 

BossAttack

Member
Oct 27, 2017
42,978
No way in hell you'd get the star wars fan base to agree that AOTC is better than Book of Boba Fett. I can't even think of a single high moment in AOTC while Book has several within the first three episodes alone.

- The entire opening chase through Coruscant.
- Dexter Jettster's bar, unironically love it and don't get the hate for the bar or character.
- Obi-Wan discovering the clones.
- Obi-Wan v. Django including the kicksss space fight.
- "This party's over." And then over a dozen Jedi show up for the first time on screen.
- Dooku slicing up Anakin.

I could list more. The only high moments Boba has is when it turns into a Mando episode.
 

Protome

Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,681
AOTC is probably still the worst SW movie tbh, because this example is representative of the whole film. Just a poorly thought out, and ugly, mess.

TROS might give it a run for it's money overall. But at least it looked pretty.
 

Crossing Eden

Member
Oct 26, 2017
53,317
my theory is that what people actually like is Clone Wars, which makes them feel good about the prequel era as a whole, even though the movies themselves are mostly terrible

after all, once you watch clone wars, the prequel movies are just a small percentage of the overall prequel content
💯
 

Ariakon44

Prophet of Truth
Member
Nov 17, 2020
10,184
No way in hell you'd get the star wars fan base to agree that AOTC is better than Book of Boba Fett. I can't even think of a single high moment in AOTC while Book has several within the first three episodes alone.

I actually kind of like AOTC, but yeah, I'd bet the average fan would definitely pick Boba Fett, if mainly for the Bryce Dallas Howard and Filoni episodes.
 

Crossing Eden

Member
Oct 26, 2017
53,317
- The entire opening chase through Coruscant.
- Dexter Jettster's bar, unironically love it and don't get the hate for the bar or character.
- Obi-Wan discovering the clones.
- Obi-Wan v. Django including the kicksss space fight.
- "This party's over." And then over a dozen Jedi show up for the first time on screen.
- Dooku slicing up Anakin.

I could list more. The only high moments Boba has is when it turns into a Mando episode.
There are like, multiple documentaries about why these moments suck. 😬

You somehow consider the car chase a high but not the ritual where Boba officially becomes a tusken raider? Or the train chase? Or the twins showing up? I know it's the weekend but drink some water.
 

BossAttack

Member
Oct 27, 2017
42,978
There are like, multiple documentaries about why these moments suck. 😬

You somehow consider the car chase a high but not the ritual where Boba officially becomes a tusken raider? Or the train chase? Or the twins showing up? I know it's the weekend but drink some water.

What is special about Boba Fett being inducted into a tribe of slavers who let him in because he managed to not die from a monster while chained nor kill his child slave master after freeing himself? Only to then have a hallucinogenic vision about his father that is never brought up again?!

But yeah, Obi and Anakin's chase through seedy Coruscant is bad or the asteroid field dogfight complete with god tier original sound design.
 

Crossing Eden

Member
Oct 26, 2017
53,317
What is special about Boba Fett being inducted into a tribe of slavers who let him in because he managed to not die from a monster while chained nor kill his child slave master after freeing himself? Only to then have a hallucinogenic vision about his father that is never brought up again?!
He earned his place and found new purpose.
 

boontobias

Avenger
Apr 14, 2018
9,538
Ben Kenobi said:
Luke! Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett. Did I ever tell you l fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Then the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senators room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms not the robot in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! And I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Good thing it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet and caught her when she tried to kill us, instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a easily traceable poison dart instead of normql blaster and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack.
Luckily for the senator my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 1950s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later right in front of his young son. And he was a good friend.
 

El Bombastico

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
36,039
I always love that Jango, who is supposedly the greatest bounty hunter in the Galaxy, just subcontracted out the job to some nobody who fucked up twice (that we saw on screen).
 

Tavernade

Tavernade
Moderator
Sep 18, 2018
8,628
I mean, realistically, Jango should have hired someone terrible at the job so they'd leave a ton of evidence and ensure the Jedi followed up on it. Zam almost gets away a few times, which is kind of not ideal for Palps' plan.

Great idea on paper. Awful execution.

I mean, that's kinda the issue with the prequels in general.