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how do peope talk for long periods of time?

nsilvias

nsilvias

Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,760
i dont get it. no ones life is that interesting. i see people talk for long periods of time jumping from subject to subject and i feel like im watching people play a game of keep talking and no one explodes. sometimes both people will even start to end the conversation and say goodbye and then bam something comes up that keeps them talking another 10-15 minutes.

idk, its weirds me out as im the silent observing type when it comes to people who only comes out to talk when something interests me or someone is on some shit.
 
Vibed

Vibed

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
1,506
When you want to be engaged in conversation, it's easy to give detailed thoughts on whatever comes up. It's not necessarily about whether the topic is even interesting.
 
entremet

entremet

You wouldn't toast a NES cartridge
Member
Oct 26, 2017
60,084
You never seen stand up? Been to a lecture? Etc?
Very easy.
 
Lobster Roll

Lobster Roll

signature-less, now and forever
Member
Sep 24, 2019
34,366
You just struck up a conversation with us about the ability of people to carry on long conversations. That's a topic. There's millions of topics to discuss that people have limited or full knowledge of or have experienced something in that particular topic. Stories have jumping off points to shift the topic. You can't seriously tell me that in your (x) number of years on this planet that you don't have experiences to share with another person.
 
astro

astro

Member
Oct 25, 2017
56,954
Talking with people you connect with is a wonderful thing and plenty of people have interesting lives that I could talk with them about for hours at a time.

And conversation isn't limited to the lives of the people who are talking... you can talk about literally anything.
 
jwk94

jwk94

Member
Oct 25, 2017
13,422
Depends on the people. Normally, Im not one to talk in the phone, but I dated a chick who I'd talk to for four hours before we even realized it was getting late.
 
G_Shumi

G_Shumi

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 26, 2017
7,153
Cleveland, OH
Anything to fill the void of silence, because silence will then lead to loneliness. And loneliness can be depressing.
 
Royalan

Royalan

I can say DEI; you can't.
Moderator
Oct 24, 2017
11,958
nsilvias said:
i dont get it. no ones life is that interesting. i see people talk for long periods of time jumping from subject to subject and i feel like im watching people play a game of keep talking and no one explodes. sometimes both people will even start to end the conversation and say goodbye and then bam something comes up that keeps them talking another 10-15 minutes.

idk, its weirds me out as im the silent observing type when it comes to people who only comes out to talk when something interests me or someone is on some shit.
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Waiting for someone to make a thread titled "how do people silently observe for long periods of time?"

Different strokes for different folks, OP.
 
Serene

Serene

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
52,525
Idk I find it harder to start a conversation than continue one. Once I'm off in a discussion with someone it's very easy to find points and ideas to spin off of into new lines of thought.
 
Fat4all

Fat4all

Woke up, got a money tag, swears a lot
Member
Oct 25, 2017
92,758
here
Zombine said:
Im a listener
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Emwitus

Emwitus

The Fallen
Feb 28, 2018
4,172
nsilvias said:
i dont get it. no ones life is that interesting. i see people talk for long periods of time jumping from subject to subject and i feel like im watching people play a game of keep talking and no one explodes. sometimes both people will even start to end the conversation and say goodbye and then bam something comes up that keeps them talking another 10-15 minutes.

idk, its weirds me out as im the silent observing type when it comes to people who only comes out to talk when something interests me or someone is on some shit.
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My best friend and I (Different sexes and not in a relationship) talk for an average of 4 hours when we meet. To be fair i see her every other month. It helps when you have a good listener (me) and a good conversationalist (her). Final ingredient is enjoying each other's company.
 
Kadey

Kadey

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
6,672
Southeastern PA
I find it easier to communicate via text because it is easier to gather your thoughts and responses while I get easily distracted by anything if I am directly talking to someone. But yes I can talk to someone forever but it usually devolves into blabbering about random stuff popping in my head which I am sure is what anybody else who can talk for long periods of time are doing. It doesn't have to be about someone's life but being invested in the world in every aspect there are plenty of things to talk about every day.
 
Lobster Roll

Lobster Roll

signature-less, now and forever
Member
Sep 24, 2019
34,366
nsilvias said:
i have yeah but some people just seem to be able to keep going on and on forever till the end of time and thats the kind of stuff that weirds me out
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Well, that's because every single topic has threads that you can follow. I do believe in "social batteries", though, where some people can carry on being sociable for an infinite amount of time whereas others are done with the situation after half an hour.
 
Calamari41

Calamari41

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,098
Yeah it's absolutely wild. There are a few people at work who will stand in my door and talk for literally an hour with nothing more than the occasional "uh huh" or "oh wow" from me.
 
Thorrgal

Thorrgal

Member
Oct 26, 2017
12,319
I don't get this thread really...you can talk about thousands of different subjects, or just a single subject (politics, philosophy etc) for hours on end.
 
Neece

Neece

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,200
It's a skill I wish I had. I know some people that can have long conversations with anyone about anything, with personal stories, anecdotes, humor, and natural segues into new topics, without the awkward silence. I try sometimes but I really don't like hearing myself talk that much and I'm always gauging to see if they even seem interested in what I am saying, or how I am saying it, which usually results in me keeping it short and boring.
 
Royalan

Royalan

I can say DEI; you can't.
Moderator
Oct 24, 2017
11,958
EnlightenedMint said:
A lot of people are very uncomfortable with silence.
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This is true, but...in many cases it's not just being uncomfortable.

Conversation, the act of talking to another, can be a form of intimacy and connection.

This was me a few weeks ago. I got to catch up with a dear friend of mine who I hadn't been able to see in person since the beginning of lockdown. And we got to meet up at our regular dive bar no less!

After three hours or so of sitting at the bar, you could tell we were both actively searching for things to talk about, because neither of us wanted it to end. Talking with my friend felt familiar, and comfortable, and normal. Talking to my friend felt like a hug, as corny as it sounds.

I mean, yeah, it's different for everyone. But for some people that's how it be, y'know?
 
Stranger Things

Stranger Things

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,837
I'm pretty quiet/nonchalant/introverted and keep to myself for the most part. But I do have close friends who I can have very thought provoking and interesting conversations with. Sometimes we hangout all day and talk about topics that we both enjoy like gaming, horror movies, skateboarding, etc.

But if I'm at a party or some other event and I'm meeting someone for the first time, it can be awkward, very awkward unless we get along quickly and break the ice. Ice breakers suck, I hate talking about my job/education/etc. I'd rather sit alone in silence. But if we find something in common, like 90's grunge music, I don't mind the banter and sometimes I lead the questions because I'm interested in learning more about that person's history/knowledge/experience.
 
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thelooseteeth

Member
Mar 8, 2019
255
I could easily go on for hours about anything I've ever been obsessed with enough to read up on and explore. When you click with someone of similar interests and a complimentary personality, it can go well into the morning. Especially if you're drunk.

Long conversation is something I really miss from my younger years. With age I've tightened up socially, mostly due to living in a place where I am very different in opinion, morals, and most everything else.
 
bremon

bremon

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,861
I mean… communication is a pretty basic part of interpersonal relationships. I can visit with my friends for 6 hours straight. Or we can visit for a bit and sit in comfortable silence for a bit. Sometimes you go down a rabbit hole of interesting things to talk about, politics, news, something interesting in your life, thoughts on a mutually interesting subject. It's pretty easy, and the more people you add to the group the easier it is for conversation to last hours because listening becomes a larger part of it rather than talking.
 
FerrisBueller

FerrisBueller

Member
Jul 15, 2018
2,873
UK
Some people are just really good at using small details to branch off conversations in different directions, even if mostly unrelated to previous topics.

People who struggle to think of things to say at times (myself included) just overthink and have the assumption that everything said needs to be super worthwhile or meaningful, or are under the impression that what they want to say isn't, so more time is spent thinking than talking.
 

Shuckle

Member
Mar 30, 2018
413
This is a skill I kind of wish I had; I'm terrible at conversation. I usually find it hard to talk more than a minute or two, I don't know how people go on for so long. I run out of things to say so quickly.
 
HardTimesFamilyPride

HardTimesFamilyPride

Member
Oct 26, 2017
8,055
Appalachia
Yeah honestly it is very situational with me. Some folks, especially strangers, get frustrated with my silence. I absolutely value the ability to enjoy silence & solitude; my closest friends are people I can be silent with for just as long as we can converse. But get me in a conversation about something I have some knowledge of, with a person I feel comfortable being myself around, or even just get me around someone who knows a lot about something and seems chill, and I can't shut up lol
 
entremet

entremet

You wouldn't toast a NES cartridge
Member
Oct 26, 2017
60,084
FerrisBueller said:
Some people are just really good at using small details to branch off conversations in different directions, even if mostly unrelated to previous topics.

People who struggle to think of things to say at times (myself included) just overthink and have the assumption that everything said needs to be super worthwhile or meaningful, or are under the impression that what they want to say isn't, so more time is spent thinking than talking.
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It's also a chemistry thing. The right person can do it for people.
 
PspLikeANut

PspLikeANut

Free
Member
May 20, 2018
2,598
My boss is like this. He doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. He just keeps babbling and babbling about stuff that isn't even remotely interesting. It affects my ability to work sometimes as his Verbal diarrhea always makes me sleepy/tired afterwords.
 
OP
OP
nsilvias

nsilvias

Member
Oct 25, 2017
23,760
FerrisBueller said:
People who struggle to think of things to say at times (myself included) just overthink and have the assumption that everything said needs to be super worthwhile or meaningful, or are under the impression that what they want to say isn't, so more time is spent thinking than talking.
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i think to an extent for some of us its the fact that many of feel like our interests arent worth talking about because we feel like talking about something the other person most likely knows nothing about is a waste of effort.
 
JaseMath

JaseMath

Member
Oct 27, 2017
9,380
Denver, CO
It's called being conversational?

I get being quiet, but let's not vilify people for being friendly, engaged, and showing up for another person's interests.
 
saturnineCarrier

saturnineCarrier

Member
Oct 26, 2017
572
Find your role. It's fine to be a passive listener. Don't beat yourself up for not being something you don't feel comfortable being.
 
HardTimesFamilyPride

HardTimesFamilyPride

Member
Oct 26, 2017
8,055
Appalachia
nsilvias said:
weirdly enough i like talking to strangers. you never know what they are going to say so its kinda fun when you get someone quirky
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I honestly generally agree with you! When I was gigging around it was fun to get into weird conversations/adventures with the random folks you inevitably meet in the circle of smokers outside the venue lmao. But I live in the Southern US so a lot of the time that quirkiness ends up turning into bigotry out of nowhere and it gets super awkward lol

Mainly, a lot of the time I don't have anything to say. I try to listen more than talk. And sometimes, enjoying the moment is enough; doesn't need words on top of it. And folks don't know what to do with that.
 
RichardHawk

RichardHawk

Member
Feb 7, 2018
1,613
Los Angeles, CA
Really not that hard in my experience. I tend to have 4-5 hour dinners with my best friend and partner while talking about whatever. I have had people tell me it's overwhelming to be around me because of the amount of talking I do though.
 
Mukrab

Mukrab

Member
Apr 19, 2020
7,504
You're right. No one's life is that interesting. Thats why me and my friends dont talk about our lifes. I camt be bothered to have small talk with people. I dont ask them randomly how they are doing or vice versa. But we can talk for hours every day about a lot of stuff.
 
Van Bur3n

Van Bur3n

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
26,089
If I know some well or come to like them, I can talk with them all day. However, that is a scarce number of folk. For most people I talk to them very little due to either not knowing them well or simply not liking them.

There is the odd stranger that I can come to like very quickly and can easily talk to, but that's rare.
 
Kain-Nosgoth

Kain-Nosgoth

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,563
Switzerland
it's actually nice to me, cause i'm an absolute mess for conversations, can't say shit even if it's something i love! So if the person in front of me can talk for the both of us, i won't complain

the only moment where i can talk more or less is in debates on a subject i know more or less
 
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