How do I love games again?

[Asbsand]

You need to enjoy life to enjoy games. Focus on your life and figure out things other than gaming that makes you happy. When you're in a good spot you'll find there's a sense of joy and worth to sitting with a game. However, if you feel like you're missing out on life or if gaming is "dangerous" then gaming gets in the way of your self esteem and you need to stop that.

 

[ClickyCal']

I see tons of posts and threads like this here and back from gaf. You shouldn't ever be stressed from games, movies, tv, music, etc. There is more than enough stuff to have real worries about in life.
I see so many people saying "they want to be in the conversation" If that's something you love and being an enthusiast, than it's good. It seems like some people overly worry about it though and take things so seriously. See death stranding....or tons of other games.

 

[ByteCulture]

Ok, this is going to sound pretty melodramatic, and if you think I'm being too bitchy then... that's fine I guess. I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a couple years now: I want to love gaming again, but I don't know how to approach it.

Anyway, gaming used to be my premier hobby growing up from a young kid to an adolescent into the beginning of my college years. Getting a Gamecube with Melee and Sonic Adventure 2 was really my genesis. I now had a fun hobby to do after school and on the weekends. No longer would I just be bored passing the time while watching reruns of Friends and cartoons on Cartoon Network. It was finally something I could engage with, and it was my own. Now I didn't really have many friends to play games with, so I've always gravitated towards more single player games - even if they weren't designed to be. I put a stupid amount of hours into Melee as a kid and the absolute lion's share of those were just fucking around by myself and looking at trophies. I never really grew out of that mindset, and I continue to stick with playing by myself today, even though I now have a few friends I could play games with. Even though I began to spend more and more time online posting on gaming forums and watching YouTube, I still made time to indulge myself in good meaty gaming sessions as well.

I believe the cracks began to form sometime around late high school and early college. I still remember the first game I added to my backlog was Pokemon Black 2. I cannot remember why I didn't finish the game back then, but I still have yet to finish it to this day. This was unusual for me, especially back then since I ALWAYS finished the games I started. Yet it didn't feel like I was forcing myself to finish games either. It all came from a place of pure enjoyment and enthusiasm. Coincidentally, around the same time I started to get back into anime bit by bit. It started with Toonami returning to Saturday nights. Up until the start of my second year of college in 2016, my backlog began to balloon as I began to accumulate games through various means such as Steam sales and Humble since I had just gotten a gaming PC. I knew I wasn't going to play these games immediately, yet I somewhat became addicted to acquiring games off my wishlist. It was also during this time where I experienced my first gaming drought. I went around 3 weeks without playing a game due to school work until eventually I dove back into Sonic Adventure 2 for the 11 billionth time. In fact, this is also part of a bad habit that I've always had where I play through the same games again and again. Every March I try to go through all the mainline Megaman games, and every October, I do a Castlevaniathon. I also can't count how many times I've gone through other all-time favorites of mine such as the Ace Combat games, Jak and Daxter, Shadow of the Colossus, Uncharted 1 and 2 and many many others. I gravitate towards what's familiar instead branching out. Maybe that's one reason I've become bored.

In addition, during those first few years of college, I began to get back into anime since it was a medium that I had largely ignored for so many years. However, sometime in 2016 or 2017, the scales began to tip the other way, making anime my hobby of choice. I don't know, maybe it was due to it being a passive hobby compared to games, which were more active by design. Also, starting a game to me felt more like a commitment. I would realize that I was basically forcing myself to start and go through certain games. It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying them. I would oftentimes still enjoy the games once I did get into them, but I soon began to find myself stopping certain games for one reason or another, and I began to start questioning if I still truly loved games anymore.

However, shit hit the fan this year when I found myself unemployed for 8 months straight. I was done with all my classes, but I had to focus on trying to find a job. I had full dominion on how to budget my time, but I still hardly ever started games. I guess you could view it as me punishing myself for not having a job. No fun allowed until you truly deserve it! Those 8 months were some of the most depressing times of my life where I was basically stranded at home in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't socialize with anyone since all my old friends had moved away. I couldn't even really exercise any of my other hobbies such as cycling since those rural roads were dangerous AF. I was stuck in a void and barely left my room. It was a vicious cycle.

Luckily, I was able to get a standard 8-5 job which is what I'm doing now. However, I am still having difficulty finding the motivation to start games. Of course, I did my Castlevaniathon again this year no problem, but the only new games I haven't played before that I've completed this year have been Ace Combat 7 and Sonic Mania. That's not to say I'm not trying new games. I've been trying to dive into some indie games I've overlooked. I tried to play a range of games in recent months such as Axiom Verge, Celeste, Bloodstained Curse of the Moon and Hollow Knight, among others, but I could never bring myself to finish any of them. Just last week I was sitting and started ANOTHER playthrough of Ace Combat 5 - the second one this year! Now, I'm starting to become more and more frustrated with myself. What will it take for me to get back into my groove? Again, when I'm invested in a game, I'M STILL ENJOYING IT, I just oftentimes can never find the motivation to stick with it. I see so many other people having a good time playing games, and I want that to be me again.

I don't hate video games. I still appreciate the medium on a technical level, and I still enjoy following the industry and get inspired by so many indie developers. I too also want to get back into working on personal game and web projects myself - but I can't find the motivation to do those either. I'm certain someone else here has had a similar experience to mine, but I'm just a bit at a standstill in many regards. Do I just need to find the right game? Would getting a Nintendo Switch get me out of this funk? Will working on games lead me to want to enjoy more of them? Is it just the depression talking? I've asked these questions many many times, but I still have not gotten a clear answer from myself.

Click to shrink...

I dont have much time to play games and if i do i just focus on relaxing stuff like dragon quest builders 2.

Dont force yourself. Avoid competitive games. Just stop playing for a while.

I dont even miss it anymore but still waiting for one or two great games coming out after a while.

I even started to create my own game

 

[Deleted member 873]

That read as depression, OP. Also, it's okay to play older games you love. You do what you love. Don't feel like you have to play the shiniest releases.

 

[XaviConcept]

Seems like you're tying your identity to video games a little bit. Theyre a fun medium, but they shouldnt define you. Take a good year break and work on yourself, you shouldnt feel pressured to keep up or anything like that, I got many friends who only play old games, its not a bad thing.

 

[ProfessorRad]

Just play Celeste.

 

[BaNDaMaN]

I lost interest in games for the last few years ... then I bought a PS4 Pro and played Horizon: Zero Dawn and felt like a kid on Christmas morning again. Now I've got every console and building a new gaming PC soon. Something just lit up inside me again and it's been a blast.

But you should honestly just pursue what makes you happy. It doesn't have to be video games ... even if that's something you once enjoyed. Sometimes we change. I don't have the same interests as I did 10 years ago. Find your spark, bro.

 

[Mathieran]

Don't force it. I played games a lot through my childhood and then got hooked on WoW my freshman year of college. When I quit playing that I just kinda stopped for about 2 years, other than playing Guitar Hero and NHL2K with my roommates.

Then about a year after college I started playing games again and I've been doing it pretty consistently since.

Just do whatever is natural. Don't play if you don't want to. You might come back after a while, or you might not.

 

[Deleted member 721]

it could be depression, it breaks your motivation to do anything, you only want to just watch tv, stuff that doesnt need you to do something. But maybe your taste only changed, try different games. If you really dont like anything and its not depression, then i guess you stopped liking it. I stopped liking soccer after playing for years because i lost the pleasure of doing it, and changed for martial arts.

 

[NESpowerhouse]

For the record, I'm hardly ever in a rush to play the newest games. Good entertainment is good entertainment regardless of when it's experienced. I also don't really care about being part of the conversion on games in general. I've always just stayed in my own little bubble and focus on the games that I like and rave about them later.

 

[Unicorn]

Indie games revitalized my love.

 

[Deleted member 10795]

For me the answer to this dilemma has always been to try and focus on playing games you actually want to play, rather than what you think you should be based on release dates or the focus of discussion on social media.

Star Wars: Jedi Fallen Order is a good example of this for me at the moment. It's a single player game with strong reviews from a developer I trust in a franchise I like. It's also a game packed with gameplay systems I actively dislike, seems divisive in terms of both exploration and combat and appears to have performance and polish issues. It also costs £55.

On the flip side, I'm currently hooked on American Truck Simulator - something I honestly thought was a meme and that I never in a million years expected that I'd like, after taking a punt on it for £3.75.

TLDR; its absolutely fine to want to play the dumb truck game about shipping and obeying traffic regulations instead of the hyped up thing about space wizards that everyone's talking about, if that's what you enjoy instead.

 

[Deleted member 17210]

Your name is NESpowerhouse so I assume you're a fan of the NES. And based on your posts, you missed out on the actual era of the NES due to being too young. Maybe try some more old school games? There are probably lots of good ones you missed out on.

 

[Bricktop]

Why do you need to love games again? Either you do or you don't and either way that's ok.

Take time away from gaming, and that includes the talking about it and following it on the web part. Eventually you'll either get the urge to get back into it, or you'll completely forget about and find a new hobby. Like I said, either way it's cool.

 

[Doc Laserstein]

Take time off. A lot of time, several months at bare minimum. Worst case scenario, you realize you don't actually miss it at all.

 

[NESpowerhouse]

Probably not only but yes it's most likely a big part of it. Right from the very start I thought "this sounds like depression" and then you mentioned it yourself.

I was diagnosed with depression and a couple of other things about 15 years ago, but it turned out just a couple of years ago that it is actually bipolar disorder (and some other things). It means I am generally depressed but I have shorter episodes where I feel good or even great. But yeah during the majority of the time I am depressed and I feel almost exactly how you describe it. I have to force myself to start games but when I do I enjoy them. I gravitate towards the games I already know even tho I really want to play the games I have not yet played. I have a huge backlog.

In my case forcing it worked wonders. I have times where I don't do it, when I'm in really bad shape, but in general it helps my well-being a lot that I make sure to get past that depression that tries to talk me down, which is what I figured out was happening.

I explored many ways to play. Different platforms, alone, with friends, streaming, reading up on games, going in completely blind, 100%ing, just doing the main quest, grabbing a random game without any planning, making lists and plans... and I can go on.
In the end I figured out that I most enjoy gaming by myself at my PC and going in absolutely blind. I also 100% almost everything I play. I love modding and tinkering with stuff and I take screenshots all the time. I can spend hours with some photo modes. I love making lists and plans and challenges. Beating games has become a fun game in itself and 2018 and 2019 have been some of the best years in gaming for me because I figured all of this out.

That said, maybe none of this would work even remotely the same for you. Maybe you don't actually enjoy gaming nowadays and you just can't let g of that thing that brought you so much joy and comfort before? Maybe you need a complete break from everything that is related to gaming. Maybe you need to sell off your backlog because it turns out that you felt burdened by all those games you never could commit to? There are many things that could be the case and I hope you figure out what works for you in the end.

Click to shrink...

Honestly, based on what you wrote, you might still be depressed and it's affecting your enjoyment of life, not just gaming. I would recommend seeing your doctor and potentially speaking to a therapist. I say that as someone who was unemployed for a year and I was super depressed and it sucked the joy of gaming. Even when I went back to school, got my graduate degree, and landed a well paying engineering job, I was still feeling down at times and it took me years to get to a better place. And if playing familiar and old games gives you enjoyment, do that rather than force yourself into playing new games.

If it's not depression, then it might be good to just take a break. I typically go weeks without playing games and it feels refreshing jumping back in after a while.

Click to shrink...

I don't know if it helps, but things have been similar for me for a while now.
Even when I have the time to play games, I'm spending more time deciding what to play or wanting to start something new instead of just playing games.
For me though, I don't feel that my interest in gaming has waned - it's that I'm having to be a lot more selective with my time and feel like it's being "wasted" if I'm not playing something which is really good. Even if the reality is that an equal amount of time might be wasted in trying to find something that I want to play, instead of just playing an average game I might end up having fun with, I find myself getting stressed out over the time I'm "wasting".
When I was younger, I had no obligations and so free time just meant time to kill - which video games were perfect for - rather than time which could have spent doing something else (upon reflection, that probably wasn't a good thing and I wish that I had someone who pushed me to do more).

I think a big part of it is how game design has changed over the years though - single player games in particular - and how there just isn't much being made in the style of games that I used to play all the time. At least not with the same kind of budget and polish.
I know that I haven't lost interest in gaming as a hobby, because when something comes along that clicks with me - and the last game like that was Prey (2017) - I still end up wanting to spend every free moment that I have playing it. Never to the extent of neglecting my relationships or obligations, but being excited about leaving work and having something that I really wanted to play etc.
Bloodstained is another one that I spent a lot of uninterrupted time with this year, though not to the same extent as Prey.
This is why I often spend more time replaying older games than I do with new ones now, and I find that I'm often far more interested in playing old games which are new-to-me than new ones. I think it's also why I have a preference for shorter games now too.

But those are the games which clicked with me and you may have completely different tastes - so you might not get anything out of them.
I have definitely learned that just because someone loves a game - even if it's widely praised and greatly successful - that doesn't mean that I will enjoy it.
People might say that game X, Y, or Z will "snap you out of it", but that's probably just going to make you feel worse if you don't get the same feeling as they do. I've seen many people praise Breath of the Wild in that way, and while I have come around to it somewhat, it definitely wasn't like that for me at all. I have spent many hours being frustrated that I wasn't getting that kind of enjoyment from it at all.

Maybe people are right, and not being able to find fun in most games that I try now is a symptom of being depressed, but I have a difficult time reconciling that with the fact that there are those games which come along and do grab my attention completely, just like they used to.

Click to shrink...

You need to enjoy life to enjoy games. Focus on your life and figure out things other than gaming that makes you happy. When you're in a good spot you'll find there's a sense of joy and worth to sitting with a game. However, if you feel like you're missing out on life or if gaming is "dangerous" then gaming gets in the way of your self esteem and you need to stop that.

Click to shrink...

Now that I think about it, it probably is the depression that's bringing me down the most. I can't quite pinpoint when this depression started. It's always ebbed and flowed throughout my entire life, but THIS type of serious self-doubt I would say began sometime in 2016 or 2017. I remember when I failed my first college course back then, gaming helped bring my spirits up a little, but from there it just seemed to get worse and worse. Since I started university, I don't really think I can identify an extended period of time where I would classify myself as 'happy.' There were good moments for sure, but I think the experience overall did some serious damage to my sense of self worth. For the record, my field of study was game design and development, so it's ironic how it sort of inadvertently turned me off from gaming. I feel that being productive towards making my own craft is what can overall help correct my downward trajectory, and I feel that playing games could also be a fun way of gaining inspiration in the process.

 

[NESpowerhouse]

Your name is NESpowerhouse so I assume you're a fan of the NES. And based on your posts, you missed out on the actual era of the NES due to being too young. Maybe try some more old school games? There are probably lots of good ones you missed out on.

Click to shrink...

Oh believe me, I've played a bunch of old school games. I believe I gained an appreciation for older games right from the start with the first game I ever played being a hand-me-down copy of Super Mario World. Like I've said before, I don't discriminate against a game based on its age. In fact, I would say that the majority of games I play are at least 10-15 years old. With that said though, yeah, there are still a lot of classics that I have yet to touch.

 

[Mexen]

Played it, was one of the only new games I played last year, it was good but that's about it.

Click to shrink...

Oh I hoped it would jump start your love for gaming like it did for me. All I got is generic advice, don't try to play everything. Focus on few titles you're interested in. Take breaks once in a while. Miss the hobby. Good luck.

 

[PaulloDEC]

If you're having trouble finishing games, maybe start looking specifically for shorter experiences. There's tons of great indies out there that can be knocked over in the time it takes to watch a couple of films back to back, and actually finishing some stuff might give you a little boost.

 

[Wink784]

You can't force yourself to love something. Just stop trying. Keep following and eventually something will catch your eye that is fascinating to you. I've not played a game for 5 months straight this year and enjoyed diving back into things all the more when the desire grabbed me. Do whatever seems fulfilling to you and if nothing does seek help with your depression. Best of luck.