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How can I help my mom kick my dad out of her house?

Deleted member 8118

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Oct 26, 2017
3,639
The man has always been kind of a piece of shit. Psychological abuser, he's cheating on my mom with multiple women, gaslighting my mom calling her crazy, hes been calling my brother a faggot, etc. because he's gay and he hangs out with his friends to get away from him and just do his own thing.

They were divorced but remarried, he lied to her just so he wouldn't have to pay child support pretty much. Its been nearly 30 years of this shit, and I've spent all of my 20+ of dealing with it.

Now he's harassing me and telling all of his friends that I'm a drop out and full of shit for taking a break from college this upcoming semester. I'm about to move back home after I quit my job to get work in my hometown, I can't afford to live in CA at this point in time, so I have to save for a while to get back out there.

He told me that he wants my brother to move out by March because he "Isn't paying any bills." I bluntly told him with a slight smirk that the house isn't under his name.

So, how can my brother and mom get him out?
 
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Deleted member 17990

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
7,461
M52B28 said:
The man has always been kind of a piece of shit. Psychological abuser, he's cheating on my mom with multiple women, gaslighting my mom calling her crazy, hes been calling my brother a faggot, etc. because he's gay and he hangs out with his friends to get away from him and just do his own thing.

Now he's harassing me and telling all of his friends that I'm a drop out and full of shit for taking a break from college this upcoming semester. I'm about to move back home after I quit my job to get work in my hometown, I can't afford to live in CA at this point in time, so I have to save for a while to get back out there.

He told me that he wants my brother to move out by March because he "Isn't paying any bills." I bluntly told him with a slight smirk that the house isn't under his name.

So, how can my brother and mom get him out?
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You, your brother and Mum should all just leave him or if you like where you live call the cops if he doesn't want to leave (if you tell him to).
 
Komo

Komo

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Jan 3, 2019
7,110
This would fall on your mother of all things and if anything if they haven't already I don't see why they'd be still married.

Unless they aren't and I missed that.
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 8118

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Fiction said:
You need to have a long discussion with your mother. Its ultimately up to her, and if she feels pressured it'll likely go badly.
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Even she wants him gone. He said hes not going to work on it anymore and that he's just going to let it fall apart.

The only problem is that my mom is trying to find work after finishing school, so she doesn't have income, but the monthly expenses for it are more and less than $1100 a month.

I can help her, along with my brother.
 
Br3wnor

Br3wnor

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
4,982
Order of protection or eviction. Both depend on the laws in your state. Can your mother afford to stay in the house without his income?
 
OP
OP

Deleted member 8118

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She is fucking sick of him, shes told him to leave on other occasions, but he is just using my mom for her place so that he can keep sleeping with the women he talks with.
 
mhayes86

mhayes86

Member
Oct 27, 2017
5,248
Maryland
Whether or not your mom decides to kick him out, however you convince her, she'll probably have to officially evict him if that's what your state requires since his name isn't on the house. This is coming from experience where my mom had difficulty kicking my sister's boyfriend out when he was temporarily staying with us several years ago. Technically, by law, he was considered a "resident" or something since he was there for a while and had his mail sent there. She had to give him an official eviction notice for him to leave in a month's time. A married couple though, I don't know if there would be any difference.
 

Deleted member 15227

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Oct 27, 2017
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I might be wrong but divorce settlements can be quite messy. Courts tend to favour a 50/50 split regardless of the name on the deed and Wills can be contested. If possible, consult a lawyer?
 
entremet

entremet

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Member
Oct 26, 2017
60,077
M52B28 said:
He will lose. He has physically abused her, my siblings and I, and there's record of it.
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Ok. This is new news. You didn't mention this in the OP. Has she called the police? You can call on her behalf as well. The issue with domestic violence is that many victims have a strong emotional attachment to their abusers, so the cycle starts over an over. Your mom may need a support network to help break the chain.
 
PoppaBK

PoppaBK

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Oct 27, 2017
2,165
Consult a lawyer. It's going to be complicated, and not something you can do properly without a lawyers help.
 
TheLetdown

TheLetdown

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,809
Fiction said:
You need to have a long discussion with your mother. Its ultimately up to her, and if she feels pressured it'll likely go badly.
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This.

@OP your mom makes the call here. You need to let her know, in as specific terms as you can, how you plan to support her decision and how you can help afterwards.

Once the dust settles (not until it does) you need to drop the bomb on your father for your own shit. Whether that means a blunt email, a heartfelt talk or a fucking beatdown depends on your dynamics. But you deserve your chance.
 
Aya

Aya

Member
Sep 7, 2018
1,262
an obscure body in the S-K system
That sounds horrible OP, sorry you and your brother and your mom has to go through that. I believe, at this point, everything rests on her decision. The moment she decides no more will be the moment you guys can kick him out of the house and out of your lives.
 
Manmademan

Manmademan

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Aug 6, 2018
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Yeah if they got remarried he's entitled to at least some percentage of her assets, no matter whose name the house is in.

Your mother isn't kicking him out without a divorce lawyer and this WILL be a mess.

You want to press charges on the abuse feel free to call the police. But don't be surprised if they're less than helpful in a domestic abuse situation, especially if this isn't very recent.
 
jetscanfly

jetscanfly

Member
Jan 19, 2018
1,139
M52B28 said:
She is fucking sick of him, shes told him to leave on other occasions, but he is just using my mom for her place so that he can keep sleeping with the women he talks with.
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M52B28 said:
He will lose. He has physically abused her, my siblings and I, and there's record of it.
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I wrote this whole thing about how I kicked my dad out of our family home, but given these circumstances, especially the fact that your mother has already asked him to leave, it's time to call the police and have him physically removed.
 
Manmademan

Manmademan

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Aug 6, 2018
15,999
jetscanfly said:
I wrote this whole thing about how I kicked my dad out of our family home, but given these circumstances, especially the fact that your mother has already asked him to leave, it's time to call the police and have him physically removed.
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If they're married you can't physically remove him from the house, as he's legally entitled to a percentage of her assets which includes the house. It's his residence.

She can ask, but he can refuse. Virtually ALL divorce lawyers advise husbands to never leave the house voluntarily. He's probably aware of this.

OP isnt getting anywhere without a divorce lawyer.
 
Wackamole

Wackamole

Member
Oct 27, 2017
16,935
Wow, best of luck. Very sad to read that some people are such horrible parents and so horrible at being a decent partner to their spouse.
 
Reckheim

Reckheim

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Oct 25, 2017
9,376
M52B28 said:
There's court record of it from another time when my brother was a child.
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yeh, that wouldn't fly, been too long.

like other people have said, he is basically entitled to a certain percentage of what ever your mom owns (hence you can't just kick him out). Best thing is to hire a defense lawyer and have your mom get a divorce.
 
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