I know we have a generalized depression thread, but I feel it might get lost in the rest of the posts in there.
Anyways.
I'm honestly done with Grindr. Like, completely. In fact, I wanna say this as a whole experience with dating apps. I have not had any damn good experience what-so-ever, and what just happened just completely soured it, especially on how the person chose to respond.
So, I'll be blunt: I'm out of shape. I am overweight. I don't hide this fact. I'm generally upfront and I do try to be open about it. My only crime, on Grindr, is I haven't updated my profile pic in awhile, which honestly, I'll own to that being on me. However, I usually try to send more recent photos, which I did in this conversation earlier.
My generalized experience I have as a whole on these applications has been this:
- Attempt to befriend people.
- Make progress and usually get to the point of meeting each other.
- Meet in person and things seem... to usually not go well and I can usually tell just from mannerisms and how they're responding to me, or how quickly they decide to go.
- Most instances end up person choosing to no longer contact me. Ghost me completely. Remove me from their match, or outright block me.
- One instance I had befriended someone, everything seemed to have gone well enough, and it turns out I'm too childish, and that, as he quoted me, isn't a therapist. And he ended us hanging out together.
- Most of my experiences on Grindr have ended with people blocking me. For reasons I'm not too sure about, other than maybe I didn't get back to them in time or something...
Either way, this last attempt to befriend and maybe have something more on Grindr, ended on a really, really, sour note for me and I think I'm just done. I'm incredibly sensitive about my weight, my appearance, and how I present myself. The previous conversation a couple days ago, and then recently, everything seemed to be going alright.
I had sent him a more recent picture the previous day, as I didn't want misconceptions what I look like, and most recently, he actually asked me if I had full body photo. So I decide to take a picture, admittedly a little messy due to not having had a chance to clean myself up, but it is in the middle of the night, so I figured that was fine. Took one with a shirt, and one without a shirt.
His response? "You look nothing like your profile pic."
I admitted to him I hadn't updated in quite awhile, and then he said. "Not cool. Well, bye."
And I'm just like, "Wait, wait, I sent you an updated photo earlier, remember?", as I had in the earlier conversation.
He responds to me: "You need a gym. Sorry."
And...
I don't know.
Between how many people avoid me. How many people find it incredibly difficult to talk to me due to me being very socially inept and having difficulty relating and discussing topics with people... I've been ghosted so many damn times in my life that it's hard to tell you how often it's happened. I won't lie some of it's on me, but a lot of times, it's just because of my personality, my communication skills, my awkward behavior, and among other things, some of these which I can't control.
And I just... feel like I'm done. I really am. I'm so tired of not being able to talk with people, have people avoid me, ignore me, even in conversations I have with my own family members...
I really don't even know what to do more. There's a lot more I could discuss here, but just everything adds up and... I don't know.
Disclosure: I am in therapy for depression and anxiety problems. Some of this is in relation to the issues I have above. But I've been in therapy for 14+ years now, though, so... Sigh.
Anyways.
I'm honestly done with Grindr. Like, completely. In fact, I wanna say this as a whole experience with dating apps. I have not had any damn good experience what-so-ever, and what just happened just completely soured it, especially on how the person chose to respond.
So, I'll be blunt: I'm out of shape. I am overweight. I don't hide this fact. I'm generally upfront and I do try to be open about it. My only crime, on Grindr, is I haven't updated my profile pic in awhile, which honestly, I'll own to that being on me. However, I usually try to send more recent photos, which I did in this conversation earlier.
My generalized experience I have as a whole on these applications has been this:
- Attempt to befriend people.
- Make progress and usually get to the point of meeting each other.
- Meet in person and things seem... to usually not go well and I can usually tell just from mannerisms and how they're responding to me, or how quickly they decide to go.
- Most instances end up person choosing to no longer contact me. Ghost me completely. Remove me from their match, or outright block me.
- One instance I had befriended someone, everything seemed to have gone well enough, and it turns out I'm too childish, and that, as he quoted me, isn't a therapist. And he ended us hanging out together.
- Most of my experiences on Grindr have ended with people blocking me. For reasons I'm not too sure about, other than maybe I didn't get back to them in time or something...
Either way, this last attempt to befriend and maybe have something more on Grindr, ended on a really, really, sour note for me and I think I'm just done. I'm incredibly sensitive about my weight, my appearance, and how I present myself. The previous conversation a couple days ago, and then recently, everything seemed to be going alright.
I had sent him a more recent picture the previous day, as I didn't want misconceptions what I look like, and most recently, he actually asked me if I had full body photo. So I decide to take a picture, admittedly a little messy due to not having had a chance to clean myself up, but it is in the middle of the night, so I figured that was fine. Took one with a shirt, and one without a shirt.
His response? "You look nothing like your profile pic."
I admitted to him I hadn't updated in quite awhile, and then he said. "Not cool. Well, bye."
And I'm just like, "Wait, wait, I sent you an updated photo earlier, remember?", as I had in the earlier conversation.
He responds to me: "You need a gym. Sorry."
And...
I don't know.
Between how many people avoid me. How many people find it incredibly difficult to talk to me due to me being very socially inept and having difficulty relating and discussing topics with people... I've been ghosted so many damn times in my life that it's hard to tell you how often it's happened. I won't lie some of it's on me, but a lot of times, it's just because of my personality, my communication skills, my awkward behavior, and among other things, some of these which I can't control.
And I just... feel like I'm done. I really am. I'm so tired of not being able to talk with people, have people avoid me, ignore me, even in conversations I have with my own family members...
I really don't even know what to do more. There's a lot more I could discuss here, but just everything adds up and... I don't know.
Disclosure: I am in therapy for depression and anxiety problems. Some of this is in relation to the issues I have above. But I've been in therapy for 14+ years now, though, so... Sigh.