Honest question: For you, how many sexual partners is too many?

[Magneto]

From my experience, it's a pretty common question in France, both for the girl and the man. I think it's a question i had to answer in every serious relationship i had.

I genuinely don't know my number, but I'm 40, and I think it's around 20. I don't care, and I don't care about my partner - with the one caveat that I think more is better, because they'll have leveled up sex-wise. Not going to say no to inexperienced partners, but it's a red flag, and not my preference.

Click to shrink...

Well, even if your partner is inexperienced, you can powerlevel him/her

 

[BasilZero]

For me , more than one is too many

 

[Royalan]

I'd rather be with someone who's put enough hours in to know what the fuck they are doing than someone who doesn't so. I don't give a shit was my answer.

Click to shrink...

I mean, you know what they say: you gotta put in 10,000 hours to be a pro.

 

[Unaha-Closp]

Don't think there is a number - only that they were all consensual. Two, or more, adults can do what they want with whomever they want assuming consent is given.

 

[Regiruler]

What are these fucking numbers holy shit.

Reduce those by a factor of 10 to get any actual data.

 

[wisdom0wl]

If she's clean and I'm clean I couldn't really give a shit tbh

 

[davepoobond]

10 is not a lot unless you are literally like 18. I'm nearly 44 and I've had 14 sexual partners. I don't think that's a lot.

Click to shrink...

well, i'd have a hard time naming 10 people i'm friends with, so i think 14 is a lot.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

If all the encounters were consensual and no STDs involved, who cares?

 

[Powdered Egg]

I wouldn't want to tell or know.

 

[Sai]

As long as there's chemistry, I truly could not care less.

 

[Beren]

I only care that they've had enough to be good at it and know what they want.

Anything else is whatever and not my business. And there's nothing healthy out of knowing stats.

 

[julia crawford]

I don't really… care…?

But if they've been with like 300 people I have some questions because who has the time??

 

[DemyxC]

1.

 

[j7vikes]

0 which is why I always dump them right after they have had sex with me.

Nah who gives a shit. As long as people are safe and consenting it seems like a weird thing to care about.

 

[Cantaim]

At first, I was gonna say I don't care. However, after reading the poll options if I was dating someone and I found out they had sex with 200+ people. I'd actually have a few questions as that might be a lifestyle thing at that point lol.

 

[Pirateluigi]

Literally don't care

 

[PaulloDEC]

Doesn't worry me. If we're both happy and sexually satisfied in the relationship, I don't see how it matters.

 

[atdawnwestrike]

I was surprised to see 4 and 6 as lifetime numbers for the CDC. I would have easily guessed double that.

 

[slow-twitch]

Everyone who voted "Who gives a shit??" still have a number that would be too much. It's just really high.

Suppose the lowest possible age to start being sexually active is 15.
If that person had 50 different partners per day, that is 18250 per year.

Even assuming it was all consensual and STD free, it's not without problem:
* That person spends all of their waking hours at having sex with different partners, they must not have time for anything else, let alone a relationship.
* They must move around a lot, they have to keep meeting new people at a very rapid pace. Even a popular bordello is bound to have lots of repeat customers.

You can argue it's not the number of partners the problem, it's the person. But the person in that case is that way because of the number of sexual partners!

So we can define a simple high limit threshold of too many partners at :
(current age - 15)*18250

But what about that number minus one? Yeah, it's still too much. How low can we go?

Let's propose 10 different partners per day is about the upper possible limit for a sex worker.
I'm pretty sure most people who voted "Who gives a shit??" wouldn't still give a shit at that. Sex work is just work after all.

So the following represents the range it becomes too many somewhere within:
](current age - 15)*3650, (current age - 15)*18250]

We can conclude the number of people within that range in the world is low enough that "Who gives a shit??" is a good enough heuristic answer to that question in most context.

 

[Royalan]

Everyone who voted "Who gives a shit??" still have a number that would be too much. It's just really high.

Suppose the lowest possible age to start being sexually active is 15.
If that person had 50 different partners per day, that is 18250 per year.

Even assuming it was all consensual and STD free, it's not without problem:
* That person spends all of their waking hours at having sex with different partners, they must not have time for anything else, let alone a relationship.
* They must move around a lot, they have to keep meeting new people at a very rapid pace. Even a popular bordello is bound to have lots of repeat customers.

You can argue it's not the number of partners the problem, it's the person. But the person in that case is that way because of the number of sexual partners!

So we can define a simple high limit threshold of too many partners at :
(current age - 15)*18250

But what about that number minus one? Yeah, it's still too much. How low can we go?

Let's propose 10 different partners per day is about the upper possible limit for a sex worker.
I'm pretty sure most people who voted "Who gives a shit??" wouldn't still give a shit at that. Sex work is just work after all.

So the following represents the range it becomes too many somewhere within:
](current age - 15)*3650, (current age - 15)*18250]

We can conclude the number of people within that range in the world is low enough that "Who gives a shit??" is a good enough heuristic answer to that question in most context.

Click to shrink...

Halfway through explaining all this I'd have left you at the dinner table with the check.

 

[Addie]

In a complete vacuum, the more partners, the better.

 

[pokeystaples]

Over 200-300 makes me want to ask a lot of questions just to hear some of the stories, but as long as the tests come back clean I'm ready to rumble. I dated a woman with a much, MUCH higher number than mine and it didn't bother me. The sex was fantastic so all the experience was to my benefit.

 

[Forkball]

Four or five. Any more than that and it gets really hard to fit everyone in the bed.

 

[Fuzzery]

Four or five. Any more than that and it gets really hard to fit everyone in the bed.

Click to shrink...

Get a bigger bed

 

[CrazyIvan1978]

It really doesn't matter to me, I wouldn't ask or have any reason to know.

 

[NSA]

It's annoying when the number is high and you're just going out and about and see people and wave and the person you're with asks "you had sex with them too?" and it's usually yep.. sometimes just oral.

 

[Fat4all]

 

[AMAGON]

Everyone who voted "Who gives a shit??" still have a number that would be too much. It's just really high.

Suppose the lowest possible age to start being sexually active is 15.
If that person had 50 different partners per day, that is 18250 per year.

Even assuming it was all consensual and STD free, it's not without problem:
* That person spends all of their waking hours at having sex with different partners, they must not have time for anything else, let alone a relationship.
* They must move around a lot, they have to keep meeting new people at a very rapid pace. Even a popular bordello is bound to have lots of repeat customers.

You can argue it's not the number of partners the problem, it's the person. But the person in that case is that way because of the number of sexual partners!

So we can define a simple high limit threshold of too many partners at :
(current age - 15)*18250

But what about that number minus one? Yeah, it's still too much. How low can we go?

Let's propose 10 different partners per day is about the upper possible limit for a sex worker.
I'm pretty sure most people who voted "Who gives a shit??" wouldn't still give a shit at that. Sex work is just work after all.

So the following represents the range it becomes too many somewhere within:
](current age - 15)*3650, (current age - 15)*18250]

We can conclude the number of people within that range in the world is low enough that "Who gives a shit??" is a good enough heuristic answer to that question in most context.

Click to shrink...

I can't jerk off to this

 

[Sign My Guestbook!]

Just be responsible. Otherwise you be you. Humans are literally made to get freaky.

 

[RetroRunner]

Everyone who voted "Who gives a shit??" still have a number that would be too much. It's just really high.

Suppose the lowest possible age to start being sexually active is 15.
If that person had 50 different partners per day, that is 18250 per year.

Even assuming it was all consensual and STD free, it's not without problem:
* That person spends all of their waking hours at having sex with different partners, they must not have time for anything else, let alone a relationship.
* They must move around a lot, they have to keep meeting new people at a very rapid pace. Even a popular bordello is bound to have lots of repeat customers.

You can argue it's not the number of partners the problem, it's the person. But the person in that case is that way because of the number of sexual partners!

So we can define a simple high limit threshold of too many partners at :
(current age - 15)*18250

But what about that number minus one? Yeah, it's still too much. How low can we go?

Let's propose 10 different partners per day is about the upper possible limit for a sex worker.
I'm pretty sure most people who voted "Who gives a shit??" wouldn't still give a shit at that. Sex work is just work after all.

So the following represents the range it becomes too many somewhere within:
](current age - 15)*3650, (current age - 15)*18250]

We can conclude the number of people within that range in the world is low enough that "Who gives a shit??" is a good enough heuristic answer to that question in most context.

Click to shrink...

Can you start on the pseudocode for taking into account holidays, weekends, and life events(you should go see the dentist twice a year so that's probably at least 2 half days), etc.

 

[Rogote]

It propably shouldn't matter, but it propably does and it would be better for all if we could press a button and make all those feelings go away. Some people are weird and it matters to them due to an ideology or they're just very opinionated about it. I think to most people to who it matters it's due to an environmental cultural factor growing up that stuck to their brains and they can't make that gnawing feeling go away even if they logically and morally believed otherwise.

 

[Uncivilized Elk]

Halfway through explaining all this I'd have left you at the dinner table with the check.

Click to shrink...

If I overheard someone saying all that, I'd order a creampie and then throw it at em.

 

[Sketchsanchez]

Body count discourse is fucking toxic

 

[pants]

I think context is the deciding factor

 

[lenovox1]

Everyone who voted "Who gives a shit??" still have a number that would be too much. It's just really high.

Suppose the lowest possible age to start being sexually active is 15.
If that person had 50 different partners per day, that is 18250 per year.

Even assuming it was all consensual and STD free, it's not without problem:
* That person spends all of their waking hours at having sex with different partners, they must not have time for anything else, let alone a relationship.
* They must move around a lot, they have to keep meeting new people at a very rapid pace. Even a popular bordello is bound to have lots of repeat customers.

You can argue it's not the number of partners the problem, it's the person. But the person in that case is that way because of the number of sexual partners!

So we can define a simple high limit threshold of too many partners at :
(current age - 15)*18250

But what about that number minus one? Yeah, it's still too much. How low can we go?

Let's propose 10 different partners per day is about the upper possible limit for a sex worker.
I'm pretty sure most people who voted "Who gives a shit??" wouldn't still give a shit at that. Sex work is just work after all.

So the following represents the range it becomes too many somewhere within:
](current age - 15)*3650, (current age - 15)*18250]

We can conclude the number of people within that range in the world is low enough that "Who gives a shit??" is a good enough heuristic answer to that question in most context.

Click to shrink...

...

What?!?

Four or five. Any more than that and it gets really hard to fit everyone in the bed.

Click to shrink...

Got to get that Alaska King, baby.

 

[Elfgore]

Nah. That's pretty damn low on anything I really care about when it comes to dating.

 

[tiebreaker]

That statistic seems sus.

 

[Vonocourt]

If I overheard someone saying all that, I'd order a creampie and then throw it at em.

Click to shrink...

 

[Aselith]

I don't think I have a too many because I don't want to know at all.

Not that I don't want people talking about ex partners but idgaf how many you had as long as you've not got some crazy cocktail of STDs

 

[Rukland]

I really don't care and consider it none of my business. Just get tested for STDs please and use birth control.

Click to shrink...

First post nails it. Look I don't care how many other people my partners have been with. I only care that they have been safe and are getting tested. I test before and after any new partner it is just common sense to me to be doing this.

 

[ElNerdo]

As long as they're safe/clean, I don't care.

 

[Parch]

Is this about morally judging people?

 

[Powdered Egg]

If someone gives just a handjob does that count as a sex partner?

 

[Brawndo Addict]

A large enough delta between two partners would probably be indicative of sexual incompatibilities or mismatched sex drives. You'd still have to normalize for other factors like population density and age, but I'd guess the general principle holds up after doing so.

Obviously if one party has a very low number their 'sample size' may not be large enough to make accurate appraisals of their own sexuality or sexual needs.

 

[Adventureracing]

Everyone who voted "Who gives a shit??" still have a number that would be too much. It's just really high.

Suppose the lowest possible age to start being sexually active is 15.
If that person had 50 different partners per day, that is 18250 per year.

Even assuming it was all consensual and STD free, it's not without problem:
* That person spends all of their waking hours at having sex with different partners, they must not have time for anything else, let alone a relationship.
* They must move around a lot, they have to keep meeting new people at a very rapid pace. Even a popular bordello is bound to have lots of repeat customers.

You can argue it's not the number of partners the problem, it's the person. But the person in that case is that way because of the number of sexual partners!

So we can define a simple high limit threshold of too many partners at :
(current age - 15)*18250

But what about that number minus one? Yeah, it's still too much. How low can we go?

Let's propose 10 different partners per day is about the upper possible limit for a sex worker.
I'm pretty sure most people who voted "Who gives a shit??" wouldn't still give a shit at that. Sex work is just work after all.

So the following represents the range it becomes too many somewhere within:
](current age - 15)*3650, (current age - 15)*18250]

We can conclude the number of people within that range in the world is low enough that "Who gives a shit??" is a good enough heuristic answer to that question in most context.

Click to shrink...

None of this would ever really come up because I simply don't care.

 

[Landy828]

Don't care, although I've never been anyone's first...feel like that would be neat.

Wife is bi, has been with men of all types, women of all types, including married for 8 years to her ex-wife.

I like to look at it as I won/was the best. 😆🤷‍♂️

 

[platypotamus]

Christ, I don't think I could even tell you what my number is at this point. I have no fucking idea. Who cares.

Like there's sort of an implication in this question that a person can become sexually "broken" by having too many (??) partners and I can't say I'm a fan of that at all.

Click to shrink...

While i think that is the most common reasoning behind this question i think there are other reasons you might prefer a partner with a low number. For example if your own number is also quite low, you might not feel confident in your skills and may worry a partner who had been with many others would not be impressed, while someone else inexperienced could learn and grow with you

 

[The Albatross]

I'm married and been with the same woman for 10+ years so this isn't really relevant to me.

I don't care about numbers in terms of like judging other people, so I voted w/e. I guess if I was young and dating and looking for a long-term partner, I dunno, I'd want someone who is about as sexually proclivious (... word?) as I am. Which is to say... not a virgin or completely inexperienced, but I dunno I guess, maybe not hundreds of partners. I dunno, depends what I was looking for.

But now, let's so something weird happened and I was back on the dating scene, I don't really think I'd care. It's like having kids and things like that. When I was 25-30, looking to find someone who could be a long term partner, I was more opinionated... I wasn't interested in a relationship with someone who had kids, wanted someone who was mostly in the same life position as me, not someone too much younger, not someone too much older (-/+ 5 years-ish). but lets say my life is different and I'm out dating again, I wouldn't be as choosey, at the same time, I would not be as interested in real relationships, at least I can't even imagine having to reform relationships from scratch again and all of the baggage that's involved in that.

Don't care, although I've never been anyone's first...feel like that would be neat.

Click to shrink...

I'm not any casanova by any means, but this is massively over-rated by like 1980s/1990s teen movies hahaha. by a weird coincidence I ended up being a number of people's firsts... high school/college girlfriends which wasn't surprising, but then later in life just coincidentally... I was for this woman who was ... like 6 or 7 years older than me... And I was not interested in her at all in a serious way, and that added some unnecessary complexity when I found that out...

 

[SmackDaddy]

Dont give a shit. What i do care about is that youre present, honest, and able to be intimate with yourself and me.

In my experience, number of partners has no correlation on the quality of the sex. Usually the partners who are less experienced seem to have the best time.

I only asked one woman how many sexual partners she had, and i instantly regretted it. Im usually putting up more boundaries surrounding the issue in my relationships now. "Tell me what you like, but dont tell me who you did it with, how long ago, and how much you liked it."

 

[Gaf Zombie]

Casual fling? Then who cares.

LTR? After 10 the questions begin. After 20, I got questions aplenty.

I'm married though.