Honest question: For you, how many sexual partners is too many?

[Mr. Snuffleupagus]

I'm curious about the general consensus on ERA for what equates to too many sexual partners when meeting a new partner for the first time - married folks, assume you're single for the sake of this question.

Assuming past is past and this person has zero connections to these former liaisons anymore and they are totally free of any illnesses, how many partners would you be fine with until you said "Hold up, you've had sex with too many people for me to be comfortable with."

The CDC lists around 4 for women in their lifetimes and 6 for men.
Turkish men have around 14 on average

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Personally, I couldn't care less (and voted so) but I wondered if anyone else thought differently and why?

For the purposes of the poll, I've tried to select the most likely options - by 'any age range' I mean since sexual adolescence so in this case, we are going to say 18 onwards - so in the first example, if I'm 28 years old then it'd be "10 years of availability and over 10 partners" and so on.

 

[MidnightEquinox]

I really don't care and consider it none of my business. Just get tested for STDs please and use birth control.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

I'm not in any sexual relationship and don't intend to be in the future, but I don't give a shit how many people you've been with before.

 

[krazen]

lol. No number. Get your fuck on as much as long as you're responsible to yourself and your partners, get those hangups and brainwashing out of the way.

 

[Doug Dimmadome]

Why are Turks so horny?

 

[teruterubozu]

Ah ok, I thought you meant at one time. lol.

 

[JigglesBunny]

Couldn't imagine giving a shit. As long as you're clean and/or upfront about things and are willing to use proper precautions, nothing else matters.

People who seriously get upset about their sexual partners having had a certain number of past partners never grew out of the high school way of viewing sex as some sort of game or ownership tool. Gross.

 

[shaneo632]

I honestly don't think there's a number tbh. It's just not something that bothers me. I doubt I'd ever consider asking.

 

[Brodo Baggins]

It isn't really a sexual compatibility question for me, but rather something that tells me about their personality.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having whatever sexual history, but I think I would most likely be inherently incompatible with someone who has had over 50 partners (the bar is probably closer to around 20/25). As an introvert someone who has been with that many people sounds like way too much for me. I'm getting exhausted just thinking about it.

 

[Solid SOAP]

"14.5"

who tf is point 5th a person?

 

[echoshifting]

Christ, I don't think I could even tell you what my number is at this point. I have no fucking idea. Who cares.

Like there's sort of an implication in this question that a person can become sexually "broken" by having too many (??) partners and I can't say I'm a fan of that at all.

 

[Hrodulf]

One. One is too many.

 

[MasterYoshi]

Why does it even matter??

 

[lunarworks]

 

[Stencil]

Damn Turkey.

Young hearts be free tonight
Time is on your side

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ41hqlV0Kk

 

[Aske]

I only learned it was a thing people cared about with the release of the Anna Faris vehicle What's Your Number?, starring Anna Faris; with Anna Faris on the poster.

I genuinely don't know my number, but I'm 40, and I think it's around 20. I don't care, and I don't care about my partner - with the one caveat that I think more is better, because they'll have leveled up sex-wise. Not going to say no to inexperienced partners, but it's a red flag, and not my preference.

 

[RichardHawk]

Legit don't give a shit. I've had partners with way more than me and way less. Doesn't matter.

 

[sir_crocodile]

simultaneously?

 

[Mr. Snuffleupagus]

Christ, I don't think I could even tell you what my number is at this point. I have no fucking idea. Who cares.

Like there's sort of an implication in this question that a person can become sexually "broken" by having too many (??) partners and I can't say I'm a fan of that at all.

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I've had that issue when someone asked me and me, wanting to be honest, started guesstimating (bad idea) - they didn't like that.

 

[RisingStar]

Knowing someone's sexual history that I'm dating and they happen to have a large number of past partners is intimidating. It's why I'd rather just not know at all. What you did in the past, as long as you've been safe and haven't done weird illegal shit, is none of my business.

 

[Lobster Roll]

Play it safe. Otherwise, I'm going with "who gives a shit".

 

[Eros]

honestly i'd kinda prefer it if someone has had plenty of experience. to take it to the extreme, i'd rather be with an ex porn star than a virgin.

so i don't care. go wild.

 

[AnimasPaine]

Just be safe, what does it matter?

 

[Deleted member 9241]

I never cared one bit.

 

[Mekanos]

Would be very curious to hear from the people who have a hard limit. I genuinely can't imagine why it would be a dealbreaker.

 

[echoshifting]

I've had that issue when someone asked me and me, wanting to be honest, started guesstimating (bad idea) - they didn't like that.

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Okay now I'm sitting here trying to figure it out lol.

 

[Kyuuji]

"Oh no, I really like and get on well with this person, and I want to be in a relationship with them, but sadly they've slept with more people than an arbitrary number I made up in my head, so I guess that's that".

 

[Royalan]

Who cares.

And I WISH a nigga would ask

 

[Kyuuji]

Who cares.

And I WISH a nigga would ask

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😭😭😭

 

[inner-G]

"36?

What, in a row?"

 

[poklane]

As long as it was all done safely I couldn't care less. I'd rather date a woman who has had 100 sexual partners but it was all done safely than dating a woman who had 5 and she couldn't care less if the got an STD or got pregnant.

 

[Lumination]

Knowing someone's sexual history that I'm dating and they happen to have a large number of past partners is intimidating. It's why I'd rather just not know at all. What you did in the past, as long as you've been safe and haven't done weird illegal shit, is none of my business.

Click to shrink...

Flip that script around! They've been with a bunch of people, but you are currently the best. It's flattering!

 

[Bjomesphat]

Don't really get the point of the poll if you have a Don't Care option. Like obviously no one should actually care, but that doesn't mean people won't have a passing opinion.

 

[Mr. Snuffleupagus]

Okay now I'm sitting here trying to figure it out lol.

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Ah this wasn't meant to be the intention of the thread lol

Who cares.

And I WISH a nigga would ask

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loool

Don't really get the point of the poll if you have a Don't Care option. Like obviously no one should actually care, but that doesn't mean people won't have a passing opinion.

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As it's anonymous, I've given people the option to choose what they really believe in the hopes that maybe conversation can stem from that.

 

[RetroRunner]

I've never asked, if they mentioned it unprompted really only above 200+ would make me have further questions, and most of those would be about how that was logistically done.

 

[SoneaB]

Why should that matter to anybody? Anyone that seriously cares about a question like that goes firmly into my weirdo box.

 

[N64Controller]

I just imagine people with a hard cap of like 10 learning that they're the 10th person and having an existential crisis

 

[Akira86]

i'm sorry but if you had sex with the entire human race but skipped me, i will eventually find out and feel a certain way.



edit:
you were saving the best for last?


oh you...

 

[TaySan]

Doesn't matter to me at all. As long as they are practicing safe sex

 

[Deleted member 10691]

Why should that matter to anybody? Anyone that seriously cares about a question like that goes firmly into my weirdo box.

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It can signal different perspectives and significance to physical intimacy. If it is important to one person it is definitely worth talking about why.

 

[Vincent Grayson]

Doesn't matter one bit to me.

Are we interested in each other and are our STI risk tolerances compatible given whatever else we're up to?

Then we're good.

 

[Sordid Plebeian]

I don't care as long as they are STI free and don't talk about it

 

[Pendas]

I genuinely don't know my number, but I'm 40, and I think it's around 20. I don't care, and I don't care about my partner - with the one caveat that I think more is better, because they'll have leveled up sex-wise.

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I feel bad for the dude who has to grind level 1 mobs in his conquest to max level vs. the dude that just takes out a few big bosses.

 

[davepoobond]

"too much" is different than "a lot" to me.

i would consider "a lot" to be 10 or more

"too much" .........i guess i get that idea in my head when it is like 20+

 

[SoneaB]

It can signal different perspectives and significance to physical intimacy. If it is important to one person it is definitely worth talking about why.

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It can indeed and I find it really weird when people over value physical intimacy. Asking me how many people I've slept with holds no more relevance to me than asking how many people I've played tennis with. I understand why it comes up in conversation and why people are curious, but there are people who really care. Who find it to be a deal breaker and call things off when they find out. Those people are, in my experience, either insecure or possessive.

 

[SalvaPot]

Man, incels most hate this stats. Personally I think it shouldn't really matter, but if you are not around the same count as your partner it can become intimidating, I guess. There is a reason why there is some people who don't want to be the first of a virgin.

 

[Replicant]

"too much" is different than "a lot" to me.

i would consider "a lot" to be 10 or more

"too much" .........i guess i get that idea in my head when it is like 20+

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10 is not a lot unless you are literally like 18. I'm nearly 44 and I've had 14 sexual partners. I don't think that's a lot.

 

[mnk]

I don't even know my number. Too many random hook-ups to remember them all. My number was like 6 or 7 when I got with my current partner, so that should answer how much we care about that, lol.

 

[RedStep]

Doesn't matter at all. I'd hope it's higher than lower (assuming STIs and pregnancies and stuff didn't become issues) since it adds experience and cuts down on jealousy etc. Not like more equals "damaged goods". A nice shower and you're good as new.

 

[Fiction]

I'd rather be with someone who's put enough hours in to know what the fuck they are doing than someone who doesn't so. I don't give a shit was my answer.