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Hey Era, How Often Do You And Your SO Make Sweet, Sweet Love?
- Thread starter Gaf Zombie
- Start date
It's your marriage, mate. We all decide in relationships what are acceptable compromises and what aren't. If that is an acceptable compromise, then that's your prerogative.
Fellas, all that shit you learn about getting laid... unlearn it when your relationship hits double digits or whenever you get married/move in. Clean clean clean the house up and you'll get more action. Janitors probably would have the best sex lives in the world if their occupation weren't looked down upon. Now I wish I had money to do a study.
My only tip, if applicable, is to clean around the house more and do more chores. Less stress for her, more sex for you possibly. Be consistent!
Lmao. The shit is wild isn't it?
My only tip, if applicable, is to clean around the house more and do more chores. Less stress for her, more sex for you possibly. Be consistent!
Advice much appreciated but it's been tried. Her libido is trash. No amount of conversations or chores are going to fix that.
Just part of a relationship. Libido mismatches has been happening to couples since time immemorial.
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This sounds like the weirdest "nice guy" bull shit I've seen in a long time. "Maybe if I do more chores she'll put out"
We're past maybe homey, I got the kids to show for it. There are better articulated articles and studies backing what I wrote. Both H/W hold jobs yet the latter is still expected to do all the household chores in addition to working. This adds more stress and possible resentment, which leads to less sex. There's also that "Women had better sex under Socialism" article floating about. They are more stressed out here than they should be compared to other developed nations.
Once every like week and a half, sometimes a couple times a week but that's rare. We work totally opposite schedules and have kids, it's challenging to say the least but at least it isn't nothing. It's just hard for her to get in the right headspace when there's so much shit to worry about while I'm just kind of always ready.
Once a week after more than two decades. More often on vacations.
It's okay, we aren't teens anymore. The fireworks have changed into a cozy warm fireside.
It's okay, we aren't teens anymore. The fireworks have changed into a cozy warm fireside.
But like you DO understand the difference between your specific relationship and applying that to other relationships, right?
This seems a bit concerning. I personally don't have much sex because of circumstances and I know my wife is tired (breastfeeding baby) but if I went to her to talk and said it's important to me I know full well it wouldn't end with "no" because she values me, my emotions, and our connection.
The reverse would happen too if she came to me and said the sex was affecting her well being either because too little or too much. I value her well being and she values mine.
A few times a week, but that eventually leads to a week or two with nothing going on. It's been over a decade, so I guess I consider that lucky enough.
I'm pretty content with it, but when it does slow down, she'll often throw out a few comments about how she'd like to do it more or how I never initiate it-- but I definitely attempt it when we both have the time. I'm not angry or bitter about that, it just annoys me.
I'm pretty content with it, but when it does slow down, she'll often throw out a few comments about how she'd like to do it more or how I never initiate it-- but I definitely attempt it when we both have the time. I'm not angry or bitter about that, it just annoys me.
Been married for about three years; in the same relationship for almost six.
About twice a week; but pretty consistent. Like, I could definitely go a *bit* more often, but it's not a crazy difference in libido.
When we first started dating it was like four times a week and honestly looking back I think it might have been me that slowed things down; that was almost too much.
About twice a week; but pretty consistent. Like, I could definitely go a *bit* more often, but it's not a crazy difference in libido.
When we first started dating it was like four times a week and honestly looking back I think it might have been me that slowed things down; that was almost too much.
Date nights.
Marital counseling.
Got into when we were dating shape.
None of this resolves a non sleeping child and a poor libido.
Posted for jokes. It's a condensed version of what another poster posted about things being better for 2 weeks and then sliding back to crap.
Talking doesn't fix a poor libido.
And I don't want pity or obligatory handjobs, I am good.
I used to hear this a lot, but I call bullshit on it. I'm sure it works for some people, but cleaning the house doesn't do much for a wife with low libido. It isn't sexy. It helps with an exhausted wife... Maybe?
Ours goes up and down. When wife is good, 3x a week. But she has depression and that can tank us for months.
She also does this "my period is coming" thing sometimes. I can never tell if that's just an "I'm not in the mood" excuse or not. Nowadays it can be like 2 weeks. I asked her about it last time and she said it's just been weird lately. We're pushing 40 now. Bodies do weird stuff. :(
This year she's also been into light smut novels leading to us buying a lot of toys. That's outside my comfort zone, but it's been fun! I can't recommend 50 shades enough.
Me and my fiancé been together ten years, going on 11.
We do fore play occasionally throughout the year but actual intercourse is probably 1-2 times a year if that.
And we're both completely fine with that amount.
We do fore play occasionally throughout the year but actual intercourse is probably 1-2 times a year if that.
And we're both completely fine with that amount.
We've been together for 10 years, and now between the 3 kids and work, it's harder to find time, privacy and sometimes just the energy to get in the mood.
I'd say we still managed to do it at least once a week, and I'm really happy to realize that even after 10 years, it's as awesome as in the begining and I don't have at all the need to go elsewhere.
I'd say we still managed to do it at least once a week, and I'm really happy to realize that even after 10 years, it's as awesome as in the begining and I don't have at all the need to go elsewhere.
lmk if you or the other fine folks here still have trouble finding it
Recently single but a few times a month was kind of generous for our relationship. Total mismatch. And most of the time it would be an eye roll followed by "Okay then..."
It will not change. It will not get better. Libido mismatch is, in my experience, permanent.
It will not change. It will not get better. Libido mismatch is, in my experience, permanent.
Last time I was involved with someone long term it was close to daily.
I would break any relationship without sex a couple of time a week. But that's just me. You do you and whatever makes you happy.
I would break any relationship without sex a couple of time a week. But that's just me. You do you and whatever makes you happy.
We live in different countries lol. Though whenever together daily or even two days.
Had a dead bedroom in a previous relationship and I would never accept one again. Waste of time and not a healthy relationship!
Had a dead bedroom in a previous relationship and I would never accept one again. Waste of time and not a healthy relationship!
together 4 years. probably once a month. not great, although she had a traumatic childhood in this area.
My transition has changed things a bit. I went from 3-6 times a week to 1-2 times a week. My fiancee isn't nearly as sexual as I am though.
We've been together almost 7 years now and it's been about 5-6 times a week.
Sex is fun yo, especially with someone you love.
Sex is fun yo, especially with someone you love.
We've been together for 23 years, married 15 and on average id say 4 times a week, sometimes more, rarely less.
There were slower years for sure but since a couple of years ago we've been going at it every other day basically. We have three kids aged 13,7 and 1
There were slower years for sure but since a couple of years ago we've been going at it every other day basically. We have three kids aged 13,7 and 1
The phrasing is wrong but I think their intent is to say once you're in a relationship for a long time (seriously there should be a time gap on this poll, 4 months and 9 years are wildly different dynamics) the things that worked when you were new and fresh might not anymore. Living together and having kids can impact what drives or motivates a partners libido. If s partner is doing a lot more with kids or handling house chores more, then you stepping in to lend a hand more there could do more then just showering them with compliments and gifts.
Should note this is more specific advice to those who aren't having sex multiple times a month. It's just the general idea of trying to find new ways.
Once to twice a week average lately. But also as much as I want lol.
We have weeks where it is every day, and we had a year where it was once a month. My wife never says no and would like to go at least twice a day, but my drive has always been significantly lower.
Together 12 years, married 9 in September.
We have weeks where it is every day, and we had a year where it was once a month. My wife never says no and would like to go at least twice a day, but my drive has always been significantly lower.
Together 12 years, married 9 in September.
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Been with my wife 11 years no kids. I put 1-3 but it's not really consistent due to our conflicting work schedules. Can go 3 weeks with nothing and then when we have the time maybe every other day.
edit - when we have the time she wants to go more often than myself, especially since getting off birth control.
edit - when we have the time she wants to go more often than myself, especially since getting off birth control.
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Kids schedules kinda run everything. Now that they're in school it'll happen more because she'll come home early. Or they're out at an activity.
Summer it died down because the kids were just around all.the.time. And they're tweens, so, they're aware of their surroundings and that mom and dad aren't just exercising.
Summer it died down because the kids were just around all.the.time. And they're tweens, so, they're aware of their surroundings and that mom and dad aren't just exercising.
Are the 1-2 times a year planned, like new years/anniversary or is it just spontaneous? And what is the reaction afterwards, "We should do this more often" or "Yeah won't be needing to do that for another 6 months" ? Sorry just curious.
Always goes like this with these kinds of threads. The ones who got something to brag about, brag. The rest open the thread, see the first ten replies, slink away.
The average for married couples is once a week. For every "7 times a week" post, there's going to be 7 "never" people who don't post here.
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Been Married for 17 years been together for 22. A few times a month. We have a 14 year old and an 11 year old so it very rare when both of them are not home. It is that much worse now during summer vacation when my 14 year old goes to bed at 1 AM almost every night as well. Plus we both are up early every day for work.
More would be better of course but there is only so much we can do to make time.
More would be better of course but there is only so much we can do to make time.
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Current relationship - we have sex almost every time we see each other, and we're both on the same page as to this frequency.
The difference, however, is that I'm good after 30 or 45 minutes, whereas she wants to keep going at it for 60 or 90 minutes, and I just can't keep up with that. I try, but I have to tap out eventually.
The difference, however, is that I'm good after 30 or 45 minutes, whereas she wants to keep going at it for 60 or 90 minutes, and I just can't keep up with that. I try, but I have to tap out eventually.
Before children: 3/4 times a week.
After two children: few times a year.
I swear children are the biggest cockblocks in the world.
After two children: few times a year.
I swear children are the biggest cockblocks in the world.
Came in to say this. Probably very similar situation to you.